Tony: Due To Enormous Personal Flaws I Refuse To Work On, I Will Be Arriving Extremely Late With An Iced

tony: due to enormous personal flaws i refuse to work on, i will be arriving extremely late with an iced coffee

tony: please respect that

tony: i have to leave for a while on avengers business. i've left you all with notes of instruction for while i'm away

peter: uh, i think you’ve made a mistake, mine just says, “peter, no”

tony: you can apply that to any situation

pepper: why is morgan crying?

tony: because we have wooden floors all over this house and she runs around in cotton socks like there aren't going to be any consequences

peter: hard boiled eggs are disgusting. i almost died eating one. the crunchy-soft mix is absolutely gross, it's like eating a ravioli covered in chips

tony:

tony: you’re supposed to remove the shell

bucky, throwing stones at sam’s window: SAM! SAM!

sam: you have a phone for a reason, you know?

[loud thunk]

sam: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR FUCKING PHONE-

bucky: i'm plenty generous. what about that time i gave blood?

sam: whose blood?

bucky: some guy’s