CLICKED OFF THIS TAB FOR 5 MINUTES AND CAME BACK TO 81 NOTIFICATIONS? DAYUMN YALL BOUNCIN ON MY D

CLICKED OFF THIS TAB FOR 5 MINUTES AND CAME BACK TO 81 NOTIFICATIONS? DAYUMN YALL BOUNCIN ON MY D

reasons to keep restricting

to gain and keep control

to prove everyone wrong

for the visible collarbones

visible ribs

tiny wrists

to see the bruising

to be petite

to float when you walk

to be the thinnest one in the room

to have a clear view on priorities

to gain a routine

to be able to get picked up by him

to be able to sit on his lap

to be fragile like a flower

for the clothes

to have control over something

to have control over something

to have control over something

to have control over something

to be the thinnest

to be the thinnest

to be the thinnest

to be the thinnest

to hit and keep hitting your goals

to prove yourself wrong

to be the prettiest

to become perfect

i post/reblog wayyy too much

i just need a hug (i relapsed bc i felt so overwhelmed and unloved)

i cut because the sting of the blade slicing through my soft flesh is better than the sting of abandonment, it feels like the razor blades in my pocket have been there for me longer than anything/anyone else.

i cut because watching the blood seep through a wound and run down my supple skin evokes euphoria like none other, and the release of the tears i cannot cry, the release i so desperately need other than that of demise.

i cut because i cant risk being seen as a bad person, because i cant stand being scolded for something i couldnt help, such as lashing out and bringing a person to whatever lay between life and death all because i couldnt control my anger, my words or fists.

i cut because i can imagine its someone elses skin, i dont do it for the pain nor for the relief of being seen as mentally ill for it - no - i do it for the pure elation i receive from watching it trickle its bitter crimson tears, and to prevent myself from fulfilling my sadistic, violent fantasies.

and you know i deserve happiness, you know i deserve to bleed.

just had a muscle spasm in my ass

not sure how to feel about it

sh/tw

new blade