This May Be A Bit Controversial....

This may be a bit controversial....

But I dont want to look sickly, to be skin and bones.

I don't want people to look at me and think "she has ana" or "why would she do that to herself?"

I don't want my weight to be a worry for my family, or something they feel like they need to look in to.

But sometimes, I want to look sickly, I want to be skin and bones.

I want people to look at me and think "she's so skinny!" Or "I wish I had her self control"

I want my family who couldn't care less when I was binging, or those that try to school me on bmr, but don't question when i say that I've been eating below it, or burning off all my calories. I want them to bend over backwards to try to "fix me".

I want to feel loved, to feel important. To both myself, and my family.

This is such a lovely server 🥰

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I feel like my stomach is eating itself.

As it should☺️

Just ate half a salad.....

You know your getting worse when you feel fat for eating a salad

(Would have ate nothing but that makes me binge, which is worse)

A lesson I've yet to fully learn:

Fullness is when you're content with the amount of food you've eaten. You might feel hungry, but drink some water, distract yourself for a minimum of 20 minutes after all the water is gone. Are you still hungry or just greedy?

Over eating is when you've eaten past content and your stomach can't fit any more food in. It makes you feel regretful, you could have stopped and you didn't. Next time, leave some food on the plate.

Binging is eating even when you don't want to, or you've eaten past fullness. It makes you feel physically and mentally bad.