Ed Tings - Tumblr Posts

Having a highly restrictive ana makes it so hard to just....live and enjoy life. I'm constantly thinking of how hungry I am, or how my lack of food makes me insanly dizzy and light headed.

Like not only do I not enjoy my life, and experiences i receive, but I hate my self and my body so much that even the feeling of emptyness gets frustrating because i dont want to change it, but I also dont want to deal with the consequences of it.

ଘ┊TW: MEANSPØ

Put the chips down.

You don't need it nor do you want it. Look down at that pathetic piece of flabby skin you call your stomach, don't you want to be able to look down and see your feet? you're beautiful hip bones? A smaller number on the scale? The cave of your slim stomach and not a fucking boulder? If you're really that hungry then eat smth better than that fatass that's not you're only option. Or not, do what you want, but don't cry when you look in the mirror and see how much fat you've let build, how chubby your face is, that flabby little muffin top that spills over all of your pants, the armpit fat that ruins all of your tanks, your massive legs that not even a grown man could fit 2 hands around. You won't just 'purge it later', that's an excuse. You would rather look like that forever right? You don't really want to be sk1nny, do you? Yeah exactly, put it down.

After 2 weeks of eating far too much and fasting far too little, I have completed a 24h fast.

I feel so shakey 🥰🥰🥰

Going on a 2 week fast,I literally wanna die, I've been eating so much

😭🐷🐖🐽😭

Even though my flavor of Ed is the starve /binge cycle. Every time i eat i feel like I'm faking my Ed.

Why is my head hurting and stomach rumbling. Like I litterally binged yesterday, you don't need fed, so shut up 🙄

I love my ed. And i love ed tumbler.

But the thought of one of my younger cousins, or that my neice might one day discover ed tumbler or twitter or even just develop an ed in general freaks me out. So I dont care if i need to eat a 500+ cal meal if it means they dont question why I dont eat.

My fear of normalisig ed's in their eys trumps my hatred of my body

I work out because i eat, and I eat to have the energy for a work out.

I wish I could just work out and not eat.

This may be a bit controversial....

But I dont want to look sickly, to be skin and bones.

I don't want people to look at me and think "she has ana" or "why would she do that to herself?"

I don't want my weight to be a worry for my family, or something they feel like they need to look in to.

But sometimes, I want to look sickly, I want to be skin and bones.

I want people to look at me and think "she's so skinny!" Or "I wish I had her self control"

I want my family who couldn't care less when I was binging, or those that try to school me on bmr, but don't question when i say that I've been eating below it, or burning off all my calories. I want them to bend over backwards to try to "fix me".

I want to feel loved, to feel important. To both myself, and my family.

A lesson I've yet to fully learn:

Fullness is when you're content with the amount of food you've eaten. You might feel hungry, but drink some water, distract yourself for a minimum of 20 minutes after all the water is gone. Are you still hungry or just greedy?

Over eating is when you've eaten past content and your stomach can't fit any more food in. It makes you feel regretful, you could have stopped and you didn't. Next time, leave some food on the plate.

Binging is eating even when you don't want to, or you've eaten past fullness. It makes you feel physically and mentally bad.

Just ate half a salad.....

You know your getting worse when you feel fat for eating a salad

(Would have ate nothing but that makes me binge, which is worse)

I can't wait to go to uni, it's so much easier to starve when I have to study!!!

I don't dress for men, I dress so that every time I look in a shop window at how fat I am, I can at least smile at my outfit

Ball gown thinspo

To be the prettiest at the Ball, you need to be the thinnest. You need to fit the dress, why make the dress bigger to fit you. You want to look nice, right?

Fairy thinspo

To be a fairy you need to be small. Loose the weight so you can fly. Be small, join the fairys

I just want to eat.

I just want to starve.

I wish I didnt constantly fight between wanting to do both all the time. I wish I was normal. But recovery doesnt exist for me

I got triggered by my weight earlier and ended up binging....

Why do I do that? It doesn't help, if anything I feel worse after (which makes me want to eat more)

I feel like some teen who desperately wants to be friends with the skinny popular girl that everyine loves (Ana)

But to be friends with her would be to abandon my oldest friend who saw me through the hardest times of my life (Mia)