I Got Triggered By My Weight Earlier And Ended Up Binging....

I got triggered by my weight earlier and ended up binging....

Why do I do that? It doesn't help, if anything I feel worse after (which makes me want to eat more)

I just want to eat.

I just want to starve.

I wish I didnt constantly fight between wanting to do both all the time. I wish I was normal. But recovery doesnt exist for me

I can't wait to go to uni, it's so much easier to starve when I have to study!!!

Just ate half a salad.....

You know your getting worse when you feel fat for eating a salad

(Would have ate nothing but that makes me binge, which is worse)

I love my ed. And i love ed tumbler.

But the thought of one of my younger cousins, or that my neice might one day discover ed tumbler or twitter or even just develop an ed in general freaks me out. So I dont care if i need to eat a 500+ cal meal if it means they dont question why I dont eat.

My fear of normalisig ed's in their eys trumps my hatred of my body