I Just Want To Eat.

I just want to eat.

I just want to starve.

I wish I didnt constantly fight between wanting to do both all the time. I wish I was normal. But recovery doesnt exist for me

I feel like some teen who desperately wants to be friends with the skinny popular girl that everyine loves (Ana)

But to be friends with her would be to abandon my oldest friend who saw me through the hardest times of my life (Mia)

Even though my flavor of Ed is the starve /binge cycle. Every time i eat i feel like I'm faking my Ed.

Saving for later, i love doing the dishes, especially when my family are out the house. They come back to no dishes and I say I ate and then did the dishes

why eat when you should do chores/ activities instead???

every time you're hungry, do one of these things and see if you still are:

1. clean your baseboards / walls

2. vacuum

3. wash and put on sheets

4. wash laundry

5. mop the kitchen/ bathrooms

6. clean bathroom

7. organize ALL of your drawers

8. clean all windows and mirrors

9. do dishes

10. disinfect every handle in the house

11. clean out your closet

12. go through all of your clothes. I mean put on every single article of clothing and decide wether or not you will keep it

13. take a full-body shower. shave, exfoliate, scrub

14. put your hair in a protective style

15. try new makeup/ hair tutorials

16. go online shopping for a fantasy wardrobe / house

17. re-irganize your phone and laptops

18. make an 4n4 journal. a page for safe foods, pages for calories in ingredients, pages for recipes, etc

19. color, paint, draw

20. read. after every page do 5 crunches, push-ups, whatever

This is such a lovely server 🥰

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I can't wait to go to uni, it's so much easier to starve when I have to study!!!