Just Created My Instagram Account And Blocking People From School Will Always Make Me Cry.
Just created my instagram account and blocking people from school will always make me cry.
Cry and shake agh
I love you tumblr, I love you much more
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lantanaatenta reblogged this · 8 months ago
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The fact that I had a nightmare of them today 🫠
Just created my instagram account and blocking people from school will always make me cry.
Cry and shake agh
I love you tumblr, I love you much more
I’m so embarrassed for posting that lame ass poem, idk… okok it wasn’t lame but, it’s like the worst I’ve written haha (that’s why I felt confident posting it but) I’ve related to it in the past and reading it made me super sad and it triggered HOT TEARS ok? But I posted it cause it’s still a heavy poem, it has a lot of energy yk, so yah, but idk, it’s not my fav at all.
This post isn’t even about weight but…
Sometimes I wish I could lose weight and be skinny so people would take my suffering seriously ?
If have a feeling that if i fitted more into beauty standards, people would find me cuter.
And if they found me cuter, it would be easier for them to feel sorry for me. When someone is « ugly » i think people are less likely to feel sorry for them.
It’s like beauty privileges. People are nicer to you if you are prettier. It just is that way !
When I see posts about romanticizing sadness and depression, it always pictures skinny and cute girls.
Maybe it’s because in our minds someone who has more shapes is healthier, too ? So less depressed ?
I don’t know.
But those posts never are about depression making you put on weight.
Yeah random thoughts. I have to be the prettiest at the supermarket so that people will be nicer to me. Can’t face the world otherwise xoxo.
One of my most unhealthy beliefs, that if I change I’ll have a better life, is that it’s a fact that I’m free in bad situations. It is my comfort zone when I’m in situations of stress or pure sadness or anger or my life is not how I want it to be. I don’t feel free in situations of justice for me, or moments of pure love or happiness or success. I feel afraid and I don’t feel safe or prepared or confident in those situations, and like something wrong is gonna happen any minute and everything is gonna get ruined. It has NEVER been my comfort zone for the past 20 years. In order to live a better life I have to change that, but I don’t know where to start, I need help on that. I feel like the positives from my life are not real since I’m not used to feel that way and if it’s true, it probably won’t be true for a long time.