I Believe In Ghosts But I Do Not Believe In "good People".

I believe in ghosts but I do not believe in "good people".

"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people" - Carl Jung.

Self knowledge reveals that evil voice exists in the mind of every person alive. The constant and consistent evil voice judges, belittles, insults and ridicules others. A dysfunctional person speaks the evil voice and traumatizes others. But a self aware person suppresses the evil voice and speaks socially acceptable things.

Excuse the dreaded mother for once. The 8th house moon mother is infamous for her unstable and volatile emotional state. She is the primitive queen of her psychoemotional throne and yet she is her own worst enemy. Mara is the Buddha himself, Buddha is his own demon. Do not demonize Mara because he is not there where he is supposed to be. He is not in the hell, but inside Buddha himself.

Identified with an archetype, the individual is inflated and ignorant of his own inner life. He believes the social mask to be the real him. He defends himself against the accusations of adverse judgments of his character. He tightly holds close to his heart the self identity he believes himself to be. He is what others say he is. He is what he thinks he is. He is the few things his consciousness allows him to see.

Products of creative expressions paint an incomplete picture of the human psyche. Movies, TV shows, novels, youtube, myths are but a polarized division of human character. Rama is the great loving warrior prince but Ravana is the evil cruel monster king. The inner division of Rama and Ravana gives rise to neurotic, the mother who is battling against her own evil forces struggles to give birth to a saint. Saint is an archetype, not a personality.

"The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either - but right through every human heart - and through all human hearts." - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago.

Fear anyone who knows not his evil. He will show you his evil in the broad day light. Defensive and stubborn, he will shine in his ignorance. Self knowledge will tear him apart. It will demand change and sacrifice of what he holds so dear to his heart.

Evil voice is there in everyone's head and it speaks to everyone. No ear is an exception. Evil has no favourites. What appears to be a "good person" is born of habits, practice, genes and upbringing. A good person is made up of his actions which are good or bad that he chooses after thinking of the consequences in forseeable future. He is not so good after all. Speak only good things, the filtered and calculated things on social media. Social media is nothing but the civilization on screens. Social rules apply to online world. Speak the hive mind, walk with the herd, clap when they clap, boo when they order and believe that you are nothing more than the persona, the "good person".

Life themes: yours and mine.

🌸For anyone who resonates

I was watching a youtube channel of a woman who posts her life. It reminded me of my teenage years and early 20s years when I was too naive and careless like her. I would make drawings, cards, record songs and really dedicate myself to people I cared for. I would not think consciously of what I was doing and just followed my heart. Somehow when I got at a low point in life, I felt like I was depressed and started living my childhood again. I would tell my childhood stories and venting as a joke but later i realized that it was no jokes it was serious trauma. Then began a long journey of internet research and contemplation on human psychology and mental illnesses. Obviously, now my perspective was changed. I started looking for underlying faces, ulterior motives, signs of manipulation and really take lies seriously.

But somewhere in my heart was a bitterness "why me?" If other women can do the same things as me but flourish, have smooth lives and socialize, then why was I bumping into detours and psychological pain? For eg, some woman can post picture of her award on social media and be proud of it. But if i do it, i would feel intense regret and shame "what if i am imposter?" "I am so entitled and narcissistic" "i am just lucky, my good karma will run out then I will face failures" "There are so many girls who worked harder than me but did not get award" and so on. A cycle of self destructive thoughts and not under my control either.

Later, I read that it was my unconscious telling me I was on the wrong path, one that was not determined for me. What we see in other people's life is not necessarily meant to work for us either. Other people do have softer life paths and imitating them will do you no good, if your life has been darker than average. Life is not black and white, some days are really nice, some memories are really nice but if you think that the downsides outweigh the upaides then it is time to rethink if you are making some mistakes, that is if you are walking the path not meant for you? Simple example, some person can do love marriage all fine, but you keep getting into heart breaks, does this mean you need to go by arranged marriage route? Or, some people can succeed in business all fine but you seem to make losses, does this mean you need to go by job route? Or, some people can eat carbohydrates all fine but you seem to get sick from too much carbs?

I make a list of all the things I did in past and whether they were mistake ❌ or correct ✅? If they worked out correct for me then that is meant for my life theme but if it was mistake for me then I would not do it again. One more thing is to use tarot to ask question and write down cards that come up then in future reflect if this decision was mistake ❌ or correct ✅ for you? Eliminate mistakes and repeat correct decisions. This strategy is same as told in many self help books.

Basically, individual life theme differs between people. You are not living the life I live, although we both are interested in astrology. It might take some practice to figure out life theme but I think it can help some people who are prone to chaotic decisions making.

Who takes decision in your life?

🌸 for anyone who resonates

I was met with one question "Who is in control of your life?" People replied "Me"; i thought to myself what was my answer? I never felt like i chose my choices. Sometimes they were wishful thinking that happened to come true. But most of the daydreams did not come true. Hint: No I didnt fall in passionate thrilling romance with a bad boy who only has soft place for me. Not to say that fantasies are useless. Fantasies are psychic processes that tell you a lot about yourself. They are not waste of time either. Fantasies tell you have a creative bone that is urging to express outside. Most of the times fantasies are when we are really bored stressed unsatisfied lonely insecure in life. Fantasies can be a way to quickly satiate unfulfilled desires.

But somewhere fantasies create unrealistic expectations that are almost impossible for the life we currently actually have. And that is a pretty shitty way to live. To be always living in glamour of fantasies, anticipating it and hightened expectations. Not to forget that for every 1 successful person there are 100s of those who do not succeed. "Just try harder", "Good luck next time", "You probably didnt work the right strategy" but the real answer is "I dont know why you did not succeed". I personally dont believe in law of attraction because it did not work for me. So I instead chose to go with the flow of the tao and let fate bring whatever result it wants.

Jeff Bezos once said "When a company comes up with an idea, it's a messy process--There's no 'aha' moment." What it means is that rather than panicking for the final result, try to solve the mess that the process is. As an 8th houser, my life + my parents' life (both 8th housers) have been very unpredictable; just when we thought things were stable something would create ripples and disturb the calm waters. From one extreme to the other, we were all affected by each other's fate and ups downs. Being a child, I would get neurotic thinking "why is my life not carefree like others", "why cant i be stable for one day", "does everyone have such rollercoaster life"? Then I would think "perhaps if we get through this life would calm down", "perhaps this is the last challenge", "just this time then i will enjoy life". Little did I know that 8th house is highly karmic and fated. Same for Saturn/Saturn in 8th house/Pluto placements. When life feels fated, you have no choice but to surrender to the forces. Because the more you consciously push the more life resists your movement. Problems of 8th house are not going to mild, we just learned to be calm in emergency, control our panic, calmly take logical decision and manage our life as much as possible. The lesson for these people was "to choose their emotional reaction".

"However simple an impulse appears to be, every nuance of its particular character, its strength and direction, its course, its timing, its aim, all depend on special psychic conditions, in other words on an attitude. And the attitude consists of a constellation of contents so numerous that they cannot be counted" - Carl Jung. My current life attitude is somewhere between cynicism, hopeful pessimism, taoism and stoicism. A mix of all these work for me. What it means is that instead of obsessing over things not under my conscious control (like result of an exam, behaviour of other people, fate of a relationship), I only focus on things under my control that is effort, reason and mind.

It is not passivity or defeatism. It is a life lesson for people who have faced many misfortunes to be prepared for the future and to make peace with the past.

Self development series: learning to handle life.

For 8th housers, scorpio placements - stretch to cancer, pisces placements and risings.

*knocks* Hello, astro world, it's me.. look at my birth chart please and tell me what's wrong with me? Why is my life a mess..? Why do I attract such narcissistic, controlling, manipulative people in my life? Why do i feel like I dont exist and am constantly transforming..? I have a weird relationship with my family.. I have so much trauma... I just want answers...

Just a regular day in the life of natives with vulnerable placements. Until they heal their trauma (which can take years), they would not know how to handle their life. How to not fuck up their relationships, mood, reactions, career, body, mind. The hidden gift of these natives is to be in touch with their insticts and emotional life. They do not just exist but are in tune with their emotional states. When unevolved, they act on their impulses, feelings, imagination, thoughts mindlessly.

When evolved, they have a conscious control over their impulses, feelings, imagination and fantasies. This is a gradual process, not overnight, and one filled with many trials, challenges and fallings. Contrary to the stereotypes, these natives are not doomed to be crybabies/crazy all their lives. They certainly can handle their life, depending upon the whole chart, timing of planets and the luck.

The trick is to know when to be rational and when to let loose. The trick is to change your lifestyle in such a way as accommodates things you can control. For eg, do not buy tubs of ice cream if you know you binge eat in maniac state. The trick is to live in the flow, be in the flow of life, mindfulness comes naturally to you when you are not giving in to every self destructive impulse. The trick is to set values for yourself. For eg, do not do casual hookup if you know you will get attached and obsessive. The trick is to hold yourself to higher standards of behaviour. The trick is to find fellow similar/compatible placement natives who will make your life a little easier. The trick is to become aware of your own inner narcissist and stop feeding him/her what they crave, instead choose the opposite action.

There is a thin line between chaos and order, that these natives know very well of. Sometimes they feel like they do not belong to this world, they are misfits, as if they want to go back to home. As if they daily life is very harsh and tiresome to them. Beware not to fall into the grips of substance abuse and/or criminal gangs. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your life. You have to live anyway, so why not make it worthwhile?

"Everything of which I know, but of which I am not at the moment thinking; everything of which I was once conscious but have now forgotten; every thing perceived by my senses, but not noted by my conscious mind; and everything which, involuntarily and without paying attention to it, I feel, think, remember, want, and do; all the future things that are taking shape in me and will sometime come to consciousness: all this is the content of the unconscious." - On the Nature of the Psyche, The Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche, CW 8, par. 382.

Self development series: "I am so bad at judging people".

For 7th, 8th, 12th housers, scorpio, cancer, pisces risings and placements. Also for airy signs placements.

You were born, you had family friends neighbours, you watched TV movies, you find a boyfriend/girlfriend, graduate get a job get married, have kids and life goes on. But who are you? And how do you know who the people in your life are? How do you identify others, how do you judge who is who? There is something called "projection" that happens when two people meet, or even watch a celebrity on TV, or even read something in a letter or on a website. How would you know what I am like from my posts? You will project, assume, judge.

Projection is a psychic process, it happens automatically and spontaneously, it is not under our will power to control our projection. Just like you breath to survive, you have to project to live in the society. No, you cannot be a hermit for too long. You have to go out, work, date, marry, buy grocery - projection is a necessity.

Everybody is not the same. People are different from each other - some qualities are dominant in them and some are sleeping. You project your own dominant (good or bad) qualities on others. For example, if you have jealousy in you, you will easily spot it in others too.

It is especially for those who are more irrational and impulse driven. They would think that just because they are honest, somebody else is honest too because both are just the same, especially if that somebody says the right things like "yeah I want to connect deeply with you". How we judge others, react to them depends on our projections. But how exactly do I judge someone else? In archetypes. Archetypes are images, emotions, factors and motifs that arrange the psychic elements into certain images. Carl Jung observed in his practice that similar patterns repeated in every patient assisted by similar meanings - he called these patterns motifs and proposed that the archetypes are universal in nature, reside in the collective unconsious and are inherited by each generation. How a person reacts to a situation in 2023 is how a person reacted in 1723 - patterns are the same.

Archetypes are not singular but a combination of many elements. For example, have you watched any typical romance movie? You see a silly lover boy and a next door girl, falling in love, going through made up scenarios and end up together. These kind of characters are simplified and basic levels of archetype. Reality is 10× more complicated than fairytales.

So when a scorpio girl falls in "love" with the boy she met last week, she is actually projecting and seeing archetypes in him that may not be there. She falls for the inner image of the ideal boy, her own masculine part animus and is driven by her feelings. I see a handsome/rich/funny/intelligent/top college graduate boy? "He must be a good man, he must be what I think he is". Did he just say he loves me even though we met in a chatroom 2 days back? "Of course, I know this is love". I swear if water placements dont tell the funniest "love stories", I will eat my hat. Madam/sir, this is projection, not love. Though I would not advice against making mistakes. You learn from your mistakes. Make 100 mistakes but in the end you will learn to judge people's character the right way.

I read something interesting about projection so i will share. We are all energy. The way we project is believed to be godly or divine process. Projection happens from the background of the psyche, that is the autonomous inner inages that come and go on their own happen from the very bottom of our psyche. Therefore, those who are gifted in astrology are the ones who project very consciously. In fact, the most accurate astrologers are those who are the most watery/most in touch with their unconscious life. This is why 8th house is called the house of occult and also signifies the unconscious.

Joseph Campbell has said, "The psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight". An evolved native is a good judge of character because he/she knows his/her own inner life, corners of personality, sleeping qualities, spends a lot of time exploring their own inner world and self reflection. This is why water people make detective type because they can really read the energy, tone of voice, pattern of behaviour, body language, expressions and intentions of people. Though, do not be too caught up in assumptions - projection is after all a means to understand yourself, your own individuation and identity.

Surviving Rock Bottom

🌼 For inner planets in 8th house natives; after crisis - before transformation = the stage of neuroses.

🌼 Before every transformation for 8th house natives, they are trapped by neuroses; they shed their skin after neuroses to reborn - this is almost constant in their life, but also happens at least one major rock bottom stage that they must learn to handle. Whatever may be the trigger, these natives face intense emotional crisis. Their life begins to get out of control - heart break, job loss, divorce etc. They fall into a downward spiral of ruminations, before they are consciously aware of it, they spend hours everyday thinking about the past with painful emotional outbursts. Ruminations are repetitive thoughts revisiting the same events from past. As we all know that 8th house placements are hallmark of intergenerational trauma, this crisis is the call for healing. This stage of life is called neuroses; it was also called hysteria in old days.

🌼 Carl Jung has said "in all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order, in all caprice a fixed law for everything that works is grounded on its opposite". The natives are yet to know the reason behind their suffering. Unfortunately, if they are lonely, it can take years for them in rock bottom, spending each passing day in the insanity. It is not so simple to get out of this obsessive rumination for the natives - otherwise they would do it already. They cannot just "choose to not think these thoughts" - this is what makes the rumination so powerful, this is what feels like fate, a doom, a curse.

🌼 The reason why these natives fall into this spiral is the heightened negative feelings. As we know that the 8th house signifies the territory everything that is hidden and unknown. This uncertainty of who they are (lack of sense of self) and where they are going (life path) compels them to seek certainty in life. 8th house placements are unfortunately not gifted with a "sense of self", they feel like invisible energy, like a jellyfish they feel transparent and attach themselves to people, things, interests, addictions and make it their whole personality. When in relationship, they mirror and depend on their "favourite person" for the validation of their existence. This relationship must break at some point in their life because they are also prone to invest themselves in wrong type of people, ignoring red flags and being irrational rather than logical about life choices.

🌼 Apart from astrological view, in the words of science, they are genetically predisposed to such neuroses states. In addition to this, their parents also create disturbing environmental influences for them to develop chronic emotional illnesses. These disorders are inherited - what we call "ancestral karma". 

🌼 When the child never learned emotional regulation from their parents and also genetically prone to neuroses, they recall the negative material, negative "autobiographical memories" of the past and negative emotional state all the time.  Gradually they fall into depressive states, ruminating about the events of childhood and fixating on negative emotions. If you are an 8th house native, you know exactly what it feels like - no words can describe what is only experienced by the fallen hero.

🌼 Some symptoms of this spiritual crisis are 1. Obsessive rumination 2. Compulsive behaviours as a routine 3. Depression 4. Apathy towards life (Nihilism and hopelessness) 5. Negative intrusive thoughts 5. Phobias 6. Perpetual anxiety state.

🌼 Lots of natives go to therapy and hospital in emergency to protect against suicidal ideation, self harm and self destructive addictions. Indeed in such cases, pills and medicines are necessary to rescue the natives from their crisis. However, Carl Jung writes that this crisis is the harbinger of soul transformation. He writes that anxiety is the attempt by psyche to self cure the trauma. He writes to 1. Experience the trauma rather than numb the symptoms with pills; 2. Identify the meaning of neuroses; 3. Understand what the neuroses is trying to tell/teach you; 4. Identify the purpose of neuroses in your life; 5. To go from infantile attitude to psychological development. 

🌼 Unfortunately, I have seen natives with these placements never being able to cure their neuroses and instead fall into lifelong alcohol addiction problems that spoiled their family life and caused many miseries like road accident and early death. This shows how powerful and strong the anxiety is. If they belong to below middle class sections in society, they can even end up homeless and helpless (though 8th house is also connected with other people's money  so they could be supported by spouse income or parental income).

🌼 There are some reasons why natives fail to get out of neuroses or delay it: 1. Laziness; 2. Lack the courage to face the challenge of life; 3. Lack of awareness or support system; 4. Fear of change. Though this is not a definite list. Never underestimate the power of neuroses; 8th house transformation doesn't always mean "something beautiful is born out of the mess". A lot of natives simply "transform for the worse" - they do not improve, they do not actualize, they just remain there in self destructive cycles. It is that scary. It is survivorship bias to assume that all 8th house planets will become spiritual and awakened - a lot of them do not and we never hear their story. So, if you are one of those who find themselves near self awakening, please grab the opportunity and get your life on track.

🌼 Therefore, it is crucial to understand that this neuroses is the urge to develop your own personality. It is a call to change your attitude towards life, to change your way of life, to not conform to the herd mentality, to focus your energy on living in the world rather than in your head, to attain psychological independence from your parents, to contribute to community as a responsible worker, to find a purpose in life. It is the call to do self actualization and attain self knowledge, although it is dressed like a nightmare with a hidden gift.

🌼 Do not waste anymore of your energy on internal conflicts, reliving the past memories and processing the trauma that happened to you. There is only one choice in life - to move forward or to regress to the immature and infantile mode again. Your are intuitive, you KNOW the answers in your heart. I always read about the "transformations" of 8th house natives but never really found an answer for what exactly transformation means? Is it magic?  Or is it some legitimate process? I finally found the answer.

This video describes the concept:

Here is quotes from the video:

“What direction the patient’s life should take in the future is not ours to judge. We must not imagine that we know better than his own nature, or we would prove ourselves educators of the worst kind…It is better to renounce any attempt to give direction, and simply to try to throw into relief everything that the analysis brings to light, so that the patient can see it clearly and be able to draw suitable conclusions. Anything he has not acquired himself he will not believe in the long run, and what he takes over from authority merely keeps him infantile. He should rather be put in the position to take his own life in hand.” - Carl Jung, Some Crucial Points in Psychoanalysis

“Only boldness can deliver from fear. And if the risk is not taken, the meaning of life is somehow violated, and the whole future is condemned to hopeless staleness.” - Carl Jung, Symbols of Transformation

This transformation can take years and this is the rebirth of the Phoenix. Rising from the ashes into a new life. Starting from scratch. Shedding old skin. Burning bridges. Reborn. So many names.