Lroa46 - One Hit Wonders! - Tumblr Blog

Masterlist

My attempt at a Masterlist not pretty but until I figure that part out here is what I got. ENJOY!!

SHORT STORIES

Worst Day Ever

Belated Birthday

My Girl

Why Just Why

What’s Mine is Yours

SERIES

I'll Be Here Series (COMPLETE)

Steve X Reader

PT 1 - PT 2 - PT 3 - Epilogue

Am I Enough Series (COMPLETE)

Bucky X Reader

PT 1  -  PT 2 - PT 3 - PT 4 - PT 5  - PT 6 - PT 7 - PT 8

PT 9  - PT 10 - PT 11 - PT 12 - PT 13 - PT 14 - PT 15 - PT 16

PT17 - PT 18 - PT 19 - PT 20 - Epilogue

Start of Something New (ongoing hiatus)

Bucky X Reader

Prologue - PT 1 - PT 2 -  PT 3 - PT4 -  PT 5 - PT 6 - PT 7 

Mission Gone Wrong (COMPLETE)

PT 1 - PT 2 - PT 3  PT 4 PT 5

START OF SOMETHING NEW - Prologue

A/N: I’m starting another series not sure how it will be received. A little angst buys mostly a reader learning to love herself and that the universe isn’t out to get her.

Bucky X Plus size!Reader

Warnings: Slow burn, like seriously slow, self-depreciation

You had always wanted to get married. Wanted a family, people to take care of and get care from. There must be something wrong with you though because no one ever looked your way. It never happened to you, no double glances because you looked gorgeous. No one ever flirted with you, maybe you were broken in some fashion.

For a while, you had convinced yourself that it was ok not to have anyone. Every once in a while you had to face it. No one wanted you. It came in the form of an off-handed comment from a friend or when hanging out and people paired up leaving you to shuffle from pair to pair trying not to intrude on them too much.

You couldn’t pinpoint exactly where you fell short. You certainly weren’t fit, round, pudgy, potato impersonator. You weren’t ugly no but you weren’t beautiful. A talent of yours was making people laugh, generally enjoying your presence. But at the end of the day, you had to believe that no one should be forced to deal with you. It was better this way.

It didn’t really help that you were somehow friends with the hottest group of heroes the world had ever seen. You weren’t even sure how it happened in the first place. You work in the Compound but you weren’t an agent. You were a cook in the cafeteria for the rest of the agents. Not the most noticeable, but Tony had found you cooking and cleaning late in the evening. Demanding food, you fed him and like a pigeon he kept coming back looking for more.

It seemed he spread the word because every once in a while another new face would appear seeking the same. You turned into a listening ear as well. A silent partner that would allow them to get everything off a chest and return to their lives.

In essence, you were a support character, not only in everyone’s life but yours as well. You knew though that if that was all you were meant to be then you would be the best support you can. Just because you didn’t get a happy ending doesn’t mean you could help your friends reach theirs, whatever role you had to be.

@justreadingfics @buckyappreciationsociety @veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @marvelous-imagining @metalarmproblems

Am I Enough PT 12

Bucky X Reader

Summary: Things can’t go on like they have it’s time to change some things.

A/N: Hello All, I have had a rough month with writing no real motivation. But as today was my birthday today so I got my butt in gear and write this chapter enjoy. Also get ready for confrontations.

Y/N POV

Getting out of the tower turned out to be the greatest idea ever. Especially when it was with someone that you weren’t mad at. Steve and you spent the day galavanting about the city. You went sightseeing, Steve explained how things were back then, everything had changed of course. There was, of course, some shopping to be done, but it was nic-nacs little souvenirs from today’s travels. Your biggest find was a stuffed plush you had gotten from the aquarium, your favorite sea creature. The best find though was from a little shop that carried Avengers items. You had found it tucked in the back of the shop on the clearance rack. It had Tony wrote all over it, a red and gold mug stating The Stark Truth: Party All Night, Invent All Day, and A Little Love In Between with a picture of Iron Man on the other side. You had giggled the whole time. You couldn’t wait to give it to him when you got back.

It must have been a sightseeing Steve carrying this ginormous stuff you through the main lobby of the Avengers Tower. You had caught a few bug eyes yourself, you merely giggled while pulling Steve along a little faster eager to get home. The elevator ride was animated as you discussed the success of your day. You were both struggling to breathe, you were laughing so hard when the doors opened to the main living room. Clint was lounging with Natasha on the couch flipping through channels. Sam was talking to Wanda while pulling a massive sandwich towards him. He stopped it halfway there when you entered, letting lettuce and tomatoes fall out the back.

“What the heck is that?” Clint flips around on the couch leaning towards it. He is making grabby hands at it.

“This,” you say setting your other bags down to take the stuffy from Steve, keeping it well away from Clint. “This is my new boyfriend, Mr. Snickelfrits.” You pull him in and cuddle your face in the fur.

“Oh, give up on the human race I see, well darn shame. Let me see him. Wanna make sure he’s good enough for my girl.” He reaches out again to inspect the new boyfriend.

You can’t help but giggle handing the plush over. Clint takes the animal and gives it a few squeezes testing his worth. Then he straightens he is to get a good frontal look. “Hmm, good bone structure, clear eyes, don’t see nothing crazy here. Sufficiently lean, for now, might want to keep an eye out on it though. I know his kind.” He thrusts Mr. Snicklefrits down on the coffee table. “Now see here young man, you got yourself a good woman here. I don’t want to hear about any slacking off on your part you hear. I know how your kind works, getting lumpy and popping stitches after so long. Well, I won’t hear of it.”

He continues to educating him while the others laugh. You’re laughing the hardest by far loving every moment. You’re so caught up you don’t see the others gazes meeting around you. It was good to hear that laugh again to see the smile that splits your face. It had been too long for any of them.

You finally catch your breath and save your poor boyfriend from Clint's grasp. “All right leave him alone. He will take perfect care of me. Now if you will excuse me for a moment I need to get him comfy in my room.”

“Wow, at that stage already. Moving pretty quick don’t you think?” Clint called after you. You merely stuck your tongue out at him, continuing to your room.

Mr. Snicklefrits settled you head back to the living room, where you find the group chatting quietly to each other. Natasha sees you first and quickly changes whatever subject they were talking about. You decide to ignore it for now. They had been meddling a lot recently but maybe they were finally catching on that it wasn’t going to end well. Marching up you through yourself onto the couch between them.

“OK weirdos, what are we doing tonight?” You shift your head from side to side searching for answers in their faces. Most looked down looking slightly guilty, some attempting to pull off the innocent look. It was not working, you were, however, going to let it slide for now.

“Hey ho, people,” Tony storms into the room completely missing the atmosphere. “It’s time to get our groove on we to have a game night! Go get ready!” He starts to show people out of the room. They were all more than eager to escape the room with a good excuse to leave.

“Tony!” You get up skittering over to the side table for his gift. “I got you something while we were out.” You thrust the package into his hands as you approached him. You watched him unwrap it while bouncing on your toes, hardly containing the excitement of seeing his reaction.

He pulled out, taking a moment before throwing his head back in a full belly laugh. You couldn’t help but giggle along with him, knowing you hit the jackpot with the gift. He quickly grabs you into a hug, forcing all air out of your lungs. You squeeze him back for a second before tapping his back indicating your need to breathe.

“Well, I totally won that one.” You say with a giant smirk on your face.

“You did indeed! Now, anything you need to make your self more comfortable?” He said morning to your current attire. You nod and head back to your room changing into one of your comfiest pair of yoga pants and a loose t-shirt.

Heading back to the living room you see a giant stack of games has been set on a table along with snacks galore on another. The group was chatting around the bar each grabbing drinks and chatting. Joining them you go to fix yourself a drink when a glass is a slide in front of you already full and rest to go. You send a sidelong glance towards the person to bequeath you the drink. Bucky sends you a small smile, you can see the hope in his eyes silently pleading for you to take the drink as a show of peace for the evening. You pick it up and sip, of course, it is perfect, just like every time before. You nod to him accepting.

Turning you find the majority have sat down and munched on snacks. They had left 2 seats open of course right next to each other. You sigh shaking your head while grabbing a plate of food for yourself. You sit and join the current argument on which games are to be played. Nat and Bucky are arguing for a card game, which came with protests of them being really good at cheating. Bruce and Tony also being able to count cards. Thor was confused and called for the simple games like the Go Fish and Finding the Old Maid with no name.

You laugh at their antics while quietly getting up and choosing a board game. Selecting your favorite you quickly return and set the box down. The others continue to rant while Bucky sends you another smile helping you set up the game and get all the appropriate pieces. They have finally noticed that a game has appeared before them and you and Bucky are quietly chatting over your cards. A little trash talk and a little plan of action.

Noises of agreement go around all once again sharing looks of accomplishment with each other. The game begins and you rotate through your turns. Throughout you find the usual stubborn people are giving in a little too quickly and Bucky is standing up for your choices a little too often. You feel a small twitch growing in your eye.

Games get traded for others, while funny stories get passed around. It’s pretty much how all your game night go. Bucky is practically your butler waiting on you hand and foot. Drink need to be refilled, done. More food, done. Piece or card on the floor, not even a chance to bend over before Bucky has returned it to you. The first twitch goes off after about the 6th time he asks if you need anything in an hour. You merely shake your head at him.

On the 4th game for the night, you’ve noticed a shift in the stories. Most of them containing time when Bucky and yourself were together. Everyone just keeps going, building it up. The twitch gets worse, the sighs more frequent.

It wasn’t that they weren’t good stories but did they have to be so obvious about their plan to get you and Bucky back together. It was the final straw when you got up to pick a new game. You headed to the table glancing at each trying to pick. You heard whispering behind you followed by a scrape from a chair. Bucky had joined you in picking a game.

“Do you need any help?” He whispers. You grip the table while dropping your head to the table in a vain attempt to calm yourself down. Muttering that he was just trying to help and the others were forcing him. You catch him shooting a look back towards the main table.

They must have signaled at him because he followed with, “Are you feeling ok?” You felt the snap, heck Bucky probably heard it. He could see the way your back went ramrod straight and your breathing became heavy.

“Go sit down.” It was more of a mumble really, your last ditch effort to remain calm. Of course, this is not understood by the super soldier. He reaches a hand out placing it on your shoulder. You flip around knocking it off you while turning to the group. Of course, this would have been easier if it wasn’t his metal arm on you. You had swung so fast you were sure a bruise and maybe a cracked bone in your hand now. You clutch your hand to your chest, bouncing on your toes like it would alleviate some of the pain.

Bucky began to fuss, focusing on making the pain go away, eyes panicked with raised eyebrows. His hand flirted about you looking for a place to hold. Since the group had already been blatantly staring anyway they rose to assist.

“Sit down, damn it.” You scream at them, finally coming to a standstill. No one headed your words, still coming towards you. You shuffle backward. “I said sit down, now sit! You as well.” You motion to Bucky. He carefully retreats not wishing to anger you further.

“I know this may come as a surprise to you, but I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I can pick a game out on my own. I am quite good at obtaining my own food. I don’t need to wait on hand and foot. I've not broken anymore.” There was a collective in the draw of air. You shoot all of them a glare freezing any words about to come out. “No, nope don’t even speak right now. I am so frustrated with you all right now.” You point your finger at Bucky staring him down making sure he would understand what you were about to say next. “You best make note of everything I’m about to say cause this is where we stand right now.” You scan over the rest of the group, some were innocent in all this but best get it all out at once to prevent future issues.

“Yes, Bucky and I have broken up. Yes, he did cheat on me with Natasha. Yes, I did run away for a little while. Yes, I was broken and confused on how to go on with my life. It seemed like the best choice at the time. Even though none of you listened to me you still came after me and I thank you for that. Who knows what would be happening right now if you didn’t. That being said I’m doing alright, I’m working through it with the help of you guys keeping me busy and entertained. The meddling has to stop.” There was a chorus of protests going up, but you shushed them. “Yes, you are don’t try to deny it. For a group of superheroes and spys, you aren’t good at hiding this kind of things. You’re so obvious about it, especially tonight. I need you guys to stop now. I need Bucky to show me himself that he is capable of fixing this, whatever this ends up being. Let him prove it on his own.” You glance at the man himself. “I’m not saying you can’t get advice or ideas from them, but I want it to be you. I’m tired of every single meal or event has to be some staged intervention. Tony is a perfect example, forcing Nat and me to go on one of the most awkward lunches ever. I’m not ready for that yet, yes I may need a shove eventually but that is on Natasha and how much she may or may not value our friendship. Just stop please with the plans. It’s their mistake to fix not yours.”

You huff once more before turning back to the table to blink the tears out of your eyes, your hand still throbbing. You loved them all to death, it just killed you that they couldn’t seem to understand how much this hurt you. You feel a hand upon your shoulder, Tony slowly turns you into his chest resting his chin on your head.

“Sorry Kiddo, we didn’t mean to make you feel this way. We’ll stop interfering and let whatever happens to happen. Now can we check out your hand, you’re bleeding.”

You pull your hand up to see the top scrapped up and a blueish purple tint forming. You pull a sheepish smile, nodding in agreement. Bruce and Tony lead you away to the med lab for a quick look. The doctor looks you over and tells you, you’ve cracked the 3 middle fingers in your hand. He gives you some pain. Meds and instructions to properly care for your brace and send you off.

It’s now about 2 am and people are still lounging around playing games. Sam sees you exit the elevator, quickly running over pulling you into a hug.

“Man I knew you were a special kinda stupid but really, though you could beat Bucky’s arm in a slap fight.” Pushing you away to examine the rest of you. You shack tour head with a laugh. One by one they all get a hug followed by an apology, though Thor apologized for no reason other than eating your snacks.

“Alright, I think we’ve had enough excitement for tonight let’s all get to bed. Including you Kiddo.”

You’re left with a squirming Natasha and Bucky. You couldn’t help but fidget as well this was the first time you had been alone with the both of them.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky speaks up first. “I just didn’t want to screw up the chance you're giving me. You’re right though this is my problem and I want to fix it. I shouldn’t have related on them to fix it for me.”

“It’s alright I know why you did it, you know how they like to go overboard with things.” He chuckles and nods. “Bucky,” He lifts his head eager to please you. “I know you can do it, you did it the first time you can do it again.” He nods once more and passes you gently patting your shoulder.

“Oh and Bucky, this” you raise your hand and indicate the bandages, “not your fault. You do have a tendency to take the blame for things that can’t be helped. I shouldn’t have lashed out as I did. My temper got the best of me.” He gives his now signature nod and continues towards his room.

Going back to Nat, you take a small breath. She though beat you to the punch. “Thank you, for giving me another shot, I don’t know why in my ever mind I thought to separate you two was a good idea.” You go to interrupt her. She holds up her hand halting all protests. “Please just let me get this out.” You nod signaling her to continue. “I…I was jealous pure and simple. You had everything I wanted, down to the stupid little problems and I wanted that. Your relationship with Bucky and just complaining about little things from the office. I’ve never been jealous like this before, not with something so pure. I guess I was of you both. Bucky got the perfect relationship, with the normal love. I wanted it so bad it hurt. You had the guy who treated you like you were a Goddess and I wanted that. I’m not trying to reason with you make you forgive me. I want you to know how grateful I am that you still let me in your life and are giving me a chance to prove I was and am your friend and I will do anything to get that back with you. Please just tell me what to do to make it possible.” She had tears building in her eyes, her voice cracking several times while speaking.

Emotion runs through you, you want your best friend back. Every piece that made up its crazy self. From the shopping to the late-night talks with mountains of candy. Heck, you would even take being thrown to the mats a few times. There was this fear though that what happened before would happen again. You couldn’t just throw yourself wholeheartedly in it again.

“Its like I’ve told Bucky and the others, I need time. I can’t go straight back but I’m willing to try taking small steps. Maybe a couple lunches with Wanda or the others. I want my friend back, someone to talk to and gossip with I miss you but I can’t commit right now.”

She nods her head eager just like Bucky to make up. “I’ll do it anything and I’ll do it myself.”

She rushes up to you, pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. “Thank you for the chance.” Letting you go she retreats to her room. Sam comes out a few seconds later wrapping an arm around you.

“That was very brave, few would be willing to give it a shot like you have.” You shift to wrap your arms around his waist pulling yourself close.

“Just tell me I’m not making a mistake with this. I don’t want to hurt again but I want what I had before.”

He runs his hands up and down your back soothing your nerves. “I can’t, but I think you have two people that also want that just as much and are willing to work for it. You can’t take that for granted. It will all work out in the end. Life doesn’t come without pain though I can tell you that.”

Giving your arms a pat he leads you to the couch. Pulling up a movie you both cuddle with each other. You are quick to drift off, pain meds pulling you under quickly. You find yourself stretches out next to Sam, with the opening credits to whatever chosen movie begins to play.

@veronicalei

@ohlookfanfiction

@theassetseyeliner

@bustanut2k17

@luckynumber1213

@owhatshername1

@chipilerendi

@caelestiside

@anbrax5553

@fandom-writers

@boundtomyfate

@annie-are-you-okay

@megs4real

@marvelous-imagining

@mizzzpink

@coffeeismylife28

@yknott81

@chameerah

@smsimoes

@genlovesdcb

@loveyourselfcreateyourself

@winter-in-wakanda

@buckyappreciationsociety

@sammysgirl1997

@unicornqueen05

@sexyashmike

@magpiemischief

@steggy4ever

@greeneyedgirls4

@melconnor2007

@iamwarrenspeace

@justreadingfics

@buckyismyaesthetic

@gondorgirl01

@winterbuttmunch

@s7sense

@kjs-s

@couchpotato24-7

@saysay125

@magellan-88

@sweetlittlepieandberrycustard  

Shout out!!

I don't usually do this but I wanted to lift up a new friend of mine. They are a precious angel that writes some of the most awesome things in the world! The feels let me tell you it just never ends. I go from crying one second to smiling like a mad man the next! @sanjariti is the name and writing is their game!

My Girl

Bucky X Reader

Summary: It takes but a moment to truly appreciate everything about his favorite girl. It’s the little things that add up to make one amazing woman.

A/N: This is based off one of my favorite songs “My Girl” by Dylan Scott.

It was another one of Tony’s party. There were people everywhere, the place was almost bursting at the seams. Everyone was dressed in their finest, gathered together in groups. Laughter and memories were shared throughout. The music was pounding away, overwhelming to some.

In all this, there stood a man at the end of the bar. The party seemed to flow around him, no one paid him much attention, there was nothing off about him. He was dressed in a black on a black ensemble that made his eyes look like stained glass held to the light. It was the atmosphere he held about him. The intense focus he held, his gaze piercing through the crowded room. He was in no way angry or upset, instead, there was adoration adorning his face.

His eyes following a single woman, taking in all her ways. In a room with so many, he saw only her in all her glory, like the sun drawing him in and never letting him go. Even with the countless gorgeous women, the societal version on perfection and all he could see was her.

She waltzed among the groups, laughing with some, dancing and singing to the music with the next. Each movement she made brought back a memory for him.

They were at her family reunion, in the middle of the country. She had worn a pair of faded jeans and a loose top. Her hair out of her face and a backward ball cap. Even though she wore no makeup, she was radiant to him. Her face filled with the joy of being surrounded by family. It wasn’t often that they got together. One is so far away from them, second, the job kept them pretty busy, mission after mission keeping them constantly on their toes.

Now though she was in her element, surrounded by family and friends. She had left Bucky after brief introductions with her family. He was currently sitting at the table with the female hierarchy in her family. Mother, grandmother, and a couple aunts. They were grilling him on his life choices, making sure he was treating their baby right. Even though he was sweating bullets and fidgeting with every question, it only took her to laugh being pulled on the wind to turn his head. He could be mid-answer when his head would spin around and focus in on her. Taking her in, one moment snatching her cousins baby.

At that moment, he could see a future with him. All the anxiety left him and he realized how much he truly loved her. He got up from the table leaving a smiling group of women, sharing knowing looks, he joined her. Wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her forehead.

He gets pulled back, like always hearing her laugh, he grabs her drink and saunters over to her. He slips his arms over her shoulders passing her drink to her.

He leans over murmuring in her ear, asking her if she was ready to go. They had a late night ride to go see her parents. She nods, she’s just as eager to get into the truck and go. Waving goodbye and hugging their friends as they went. The men were teasing him, telling him he was so in loved and wrapped around her finger.

He would always reply the same way. “You just wish you were me, cause that’s My Girl.”

@justreadingfics @buckyappreciationsociety @veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @marvelous-imagining @metalarmproblems

Am I Enough PT 11

Bucky X Reader

Summary: It different working for Tony. This leads through to a very awkward situation over lunch.

A/N: Hey guys! Here it is Part 11 can’t really believe I made it this far. I hope you enjoy. Just forewarning it’s about to get pretty awkward in this chapter.

Warnings: awkward situations.

Y/N POV

Working with Tony was quite the experience. Yes, it kept you busy, but it also kept you on your toes. You never could figure out when he would ask for some random things. Or send you on “missions”, these were mostly you spying in people and getting gossip. At the end of the day though you couldn’t complain. You had asked for any kind of work and this was it.

Today’s task was to sit by the door and tell everyone that ventured near that no they couldn’t come in. That Tony was having a stroke of genius. He had you doing some paperwork as well to pass time.

It had been 3 days since you had breakfast in bed. Nothing as dramatic had happened since but the sweet gestures had continued. Post it notes could be found on various surfaces, all stating how gorgeous you looked, how hard you worked, and the ever constant presence you had in his life. You had to admit it made you blush when reading them. A few would have a single flower laying next to them. You collect them and place them in a cup reminding you of him still.

This particular day had a steaming cup of hot cocoa, with whip cream and chocolate shavings, it was sitting on your “desk” waiting when you arrived at the lab. Picking it up you see the chicken scratch scribble on the note, you know who it’s from.

Your day continues fending off any who venture neat and making good headway in the large stack of papers. You're not quite sure what caught your attention, but suddenly you look up locking eyes with none other than Natasha. You stare at each other for a moment before hers drop to the desk.

“Tony asked to see me.” She mumbles slightly as if the statement might insult you or hurt.

“Oh, let me check with him. He’s told me to ward off all people from the lab. Something along the line of having a breakthrough.” You stand and turn towards the door. You quickly turn back once you realized how that sounded. “Not that I don’t trust that he called you bit usually he lets me know.” You were your hands a bit to clear the misunderstanding.

“That’s fine no problem.” She shrugs letting you go on.

You quickly enter. Spotting Tony rummaging through a large bin. It appears as though wires are creeping up his arms and oil spreads over his cheeks and forehead.

“Hey Tony, Nat is here to see you.”

He doesn’t even look up merely dives deeper into the box. “Nope not right now, I’ve almost got it. Tell her after lunch maybe. In fact, why don’t you go as well.”

You freeze. Lunch alone with Nat. You hadn’t even been in a room alone with her since you got back.

“I…”

“Nope, don’t want to hear it. Go have lunch with her. Talk, eat, discuss ladies panties for all I care. Just don’t come back for at least an hour.” He dismisses you once more by turning his back on you for another bin.

You exit the lab and face Nat. “So he doesn’t want to see you until after lunch.”

“Gah, he told me to rush up here cause it was important.” She sighs before her head snaps up to look at you. “He wouldn’t. That arrogant son of a …” She pushes her hands through her hair.

“He said we were to go to lunch together. As he put it talk, eat, or discuss panties.” You cock your head and look at her expectantly.

“Really that what he went for that. Subtle.” She chuckles before looking up at you once more. “So wanna grab lunch then?”

It takes but a moment to decide. This could be a potentially good thing for you both. Of course, there was that big helping of doubt, the i-don't-know-if-I-can-go-there feeling, all this happened in about 2.4 seconds before you found yourself nodding your head in agreement.

You can see Natasha’ s shoulders raise. There is not in her eyes as she nods her head as well. She must really think she had no chance to make up with you. “Yes, you wanna go to that little cafe down the street that we like?”

“Yeah, I haven’t had them in forever.”

You head out. At this point, it grows a little awkward. Too much to be said, and no idea where to start. Nat never one to shy from a challenge starts with the innocent.

“How’s working with Tony? Must be a hassle most days.”

You chuckle, you couldn’t help but agree with her. “Yeah, mostly it’s just random things he wants me to do. Like you saw today, guard the door. One time he literally made me just sit in the lab and talk to him.”

She chuckles, “So not really working at all.”

“Nope. I don’t even know how to put it down on a resume when I update mine.”

“You could put Assistant I guess, or personal servant down. But the perks can’t be all that bad working for Tony?”

“No, not at all. He sends me home early most times. I don’t know we will see how this goes, but for now, I’m not looking for much else right now.”

She merely nods her head, sensing a dangerous line of thought ahead. “Well good, the best part has to be traveling 2 floors to get to work though.”

“I know right, I could wake up 5 minutes before if I wanted and still make it. I have to say the rooms are pretty obnoxious size wise. I think it’s bigger than all the apartments I’ve had combined.” Your both laughing at this.

Upon reaching your destination the conversation lulls and you are quickly seated with menus. Even though you had just gotten there, there was a pleasant feeling settling over you. You had missed this, your ability to go out with your best friend and enjoy a meal.

Your orders were quickly taken, leaving you two to stare at each other. You shift a little trying to think of another topic.

She takes the leap, no more like full hurtle. “Hey (Y/N), I know you hate me right now but I wanted to say I’m sorry for what I did.”

You bristle, she thought she could just slide this in now. That just cause you were out with meant you forgave her in any sense. You raise your hand cutting her off. “Stop right now, I certainly don’t want to do this now and especially hear. I don’t want your excuses or any other crap you wanna spill out. I’m here to have lunch maybe have a decent chat. But don’t think for a second that I’ve forgotten or forgave you for what you did. Are we clear?”

She merely nods her head, breaking all eye contact. To say it got even more awkward after that. Neither of you would look the other in the eye. Both tried to make idle chit-chat but it all tempered out quickly. The only saving grace was the food arriving. You both could appreciate the food. It was amazing, they made all their bread fresh in-house every morning, meats roasted the night before sliced to order. You both hum in appreciation to the meal.

The rest of the meal consists of food appreciation and talk of work. Soon your finished and paid to head out once more to the tower. You both board the elevator and ride to your respective floors. You exit first, Nat quickly follows.

“(Y/N), I meant what I said. I am sorry and I want to explain even if not now but eventually. I miss my best friend.” She pleads to try to make you understand.

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you started sleeping with my boyfriend. From where I am it seems like you could care less if I’m around. Like I said not now and not here.” With that you flip around stomping back to the lab, leaving a distraught Nat in your wake.

Upon entering the lab you make your way to Tony. With him being hunched over his worktop he didn’t see you coming. Your hand flew slapping him over the back of the head.

“Ow!” He yelps rubbing the spot. “What was that for?”

“For forcing me to have one of the weirdest, awkward lunches I have ever experienced!! That’s what.” You are fuming at him pushing your hands through your hair and pacing around the lab. “You know what she did? She had the audacity to think that apologizing in the middle of a restaurant was a good idea. I mean really?! Right there so everyone could see our dirty laundry. The nerve!”

Tony can only stare at you. He thought it had been a good idea. It gave you both an excuse to talk, to see how much you needed each other. Unfortunately, it seemed to have backfired rather badly. Of course no he had a very angry lady to console.

“I’m sure she meant the best. It is the first time you’ve been alone. She wants to make up. What’s wrong with that?”

“What’s wrong? The fact that she chose then and there to do it. Just because I went out with her doesn’t mean I’m forgiving her yet. She’s never said anything before now. As far as I know, she still wants him and just wants my approval. She’s made no effort to make up with me. What am I supposed to think?”

“Woah, hold up Sparky! I’ll have you know movie night last week was Nat’ s idea. She just wants you to make up with Bucky. She knows she screwed up, you just need to give her a shot. Just like Bucky is getting one.”

“She just… I just… I don’t know anymore. I need to think. I need to get out, space something. Gah, why is this so hard?”

“Well, you are free to go if you want. Go grab somebody and go adventuring or whatever you call it.” He waves his hand at you.

“Thanks, Tony!” You scramble for the door.

“Yeah yeah, beats getting smacked again.” Dismissing you for his work.

You head out searching for a free soul to go adventuring with. You find yourself bumping into a very free looking Steve.

“What are you doing?” You ask strutting up to him with determination to get out.

“Nothing, why?” He looks confused by the situation.

“Well let’s go!” You sweep around him and continue to the elevator.

“Go? Go where?” Still lost in the situation.

“Adventuring, duh!” Wasn’t it obvious?

He picks up the pace and follows you as the doors shut you both inside.

“Oh, I guess that works?”

@veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @bustanut2k17 @luckynumber1213 @owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @caelestiside @anbrax5553 @fandom-writes @boundtomyfate @annie-are-you-okay @megs4real @marvelous-imagining @mizzzpink @coffeeismylife28 @yknott81 @chameerah @stevette60  @genlovesdcb @loveyourselfcreateyourself @winter-in-wakanda @buckyappreciationsociety   @sammysgirl1997 @unicornqueen05 @sexyashmike @magpiemischief @steggy4ever  @greeneyedgirls4 @melconnor2007 @iamwarrenspeace @justreadingfics @buckyismyaesthetic @gondorgirl01 @winterbuttmunch @s7sense @kjs-s @couchpotato24-7 @saysay125 @magellan-88 @sweetlittlepieandberrycustard

Am I Enough PT 10

Bucky X Reader

Summary: It’s movie night! And the start of Operation Happy Ending.

warnings: little fluff, little angst

A/N: A thousand apologies for the delay. I started working more and I’m pretty sure the heat here is melting my brain making me unable to function. Anyway, I am doing my best to write these chapters but not make them crap. Patience is always appreciated. Thank you for reading.

Side Note: I have had a couple questions about a MASTERLIST. I have no idea how to make one. Also, I do all my work on my phone so if it seems weird or what not let me know I will try to fix it. Also if someone would be willing to teach me how to make said master list I would appreciate it!

Bucky POV

It’s all set up ready to go, the first phase of Operation Happy Ending is a go. The room has been set up to make a moviegoers dream. All (Y/N)’s favorite movies and snacks are laid out. He has commandeered her blanket and pillow setting up her own personal viewing spot, or throne as Tony is calling it. Everyone gets settled waiting for her arrival, Bucky is antsy hoping she likes what she sees.

Finally strolling in, clad in her most comfy pajamas, she takes in the area. Bucky jumps up and rushes her. He stops a couple feet before making sure to give her space.

“Hi, um… Thanks for coming.” He mentally slaps himself, really that’s what he’s going with. “I got your favorites, also I kinda stole… no took your blanket you can sit here, or you know wherever you want, you don’t have to sit here. Oh and your pillow as well, wanted you to be comfortable.” He could just die of embarrassment now, stuttering and make a downright fool of himself.

“Thanks, Bucky.” She can’t help the smile that creeps to her face with how awkward Bucky is being. “I think though that I picked last time so why don’t you pick. But nothing too sappy Ok?” He nods his head vigorously, practically giving himself whiplash while doing it.

He shuffles to the movies, he panics not knowing what to pick. He swings his eyes to the group trying to figure it out. Sam comes to the rescue starting a debate on what to watch. They go back and forth until Die Hard comes out on top.

“I hope you all don’t expect me to eat all this. I know I like these but there is a lot here.” As if on cue everyone lunges forward plucking up snacks.

Bucky turns back from the Bluray player and pauses unsure now of where to sit. Seeing his dilemma (Y/N) gently pats the spot next to her. He sits but not too close to cause discomfort, but not too far to seem like he didn’t want to be there.

As the movie starts he is as stiff as a board. Not moving in case he upsets you in some way. He doesn’t reach for any snacks either. Hearing a faint chuckle from her his head turns questioning what was going on. She leans over to him.

“If you wanna prove we can work, you might want to relax a little. It kind of seems like you don’t want to be here.” She moves back. Releasing the breath he didn’t know he was holding he sinks into the couch. Telling himself to chill out, be cool. He lays his arm across the back of the love seat.

As the movie goes on she starts to stretch out, her feet inching closer and closer to him. By the halfway point they are in his lap his other arm slung over top. Every once in a while she would glance at him indicating she wanted another treat. He is more than happy to oblige.

When the movie is over the light fade up. She tense as the others look around and stretch in their seats. Quickly removing her feet and sitting up. She doesn’t make eye contact with him simply standing and muttering a quiet Thank you and good night. He sits confused as to what happened. It went well she even let him sit next to her.

“Give it time Barnes. This was a good start, she probably just felt like it was rushed. That’s the one thing both of you can’t afford to do.” Tony pats his shoulder as he exits. Bucky nods even though no one can see and begins to clean up the room.

He is met with a pair of hands helping him. He looks up seeing Nat collecting open bags of food. She smiles timidly. Jerking his hands back her smile fades. He couldn’t be alone with her that would send the wrong message.

“I want to help. I need my best friend back as much as you want your girl back. I promise nothing more.” She holds her hands up still full of things and shakes her head.

He eyes her for a moment before he nods. No more words are shared between them. Just another silent truce with each other. With the room looking spotless they nod to each other before parting ways.

He continued to his room, thinking over the evening and what happened. For the most part, it went well, she seemed to have enjoyed herself. Why though had she pulled away when the lights come up? Tony had some truth I what he said of course. He was just going to have to be careful around her. Maybe he needed to do more. Suddenly it came to him, the perfect idea something not too big but showed how much he appreciated her willingness to go with his crazy ideas.

He left his room once more in search of supplies.

(Y/N) POV

Sunlight streamed through your window, falling directly over your eyes. For a moment you wanted to be grumpy. The darn sun always waking people up! You turn to burrow your face into your pillow. Suddenly the details of the evening before come back. It forms a small smile on your face.

You had a blast last night, in all honesty, it was the first time you had truly been relaxed since you got back. This whole time you had been focused on putting up this appearance like everything was ok. That everything that happened, yes made you mad but otherwise didn’t affect you. To have that weight lifted, no matter how temporary, was amazing.

You sit up stretching, taking a couple deep breaths. It was going to be a good morning. You walk to your door heading out for breakfast when you pause to see a balloon staring at you. It was plain nothing in it just a vivid (Y/F/C). You follow it down to see a breakfast tray, it is filled with really anything you could possibly imagine wanting for breakfast. On the side though is a small vase with a single (Y/F/F). Leaning against it is a card with your name on it. You bend to pick up the tray bringing it to the bed before you settle in. Opening the envelope you gently pull the card. The outside simply says “Thank You”. You had a feeling who it was from and the thought made you quickly pry open the letter. There is his handwriting, scratchy but much better than his usual writing.

Dear (Y/N),

Thank you for joining me last night for a movie and snacks. I really enjoyed your company. It was a pleasure to sit next to you and also enjoy your treats together. I hope I wasn’t to forward with you at the end of the movie. I was just very excited to be able to spend time with you again. As you can see I have made you a quite a selection of breakfast for you. Please enjoy and rest easy for the morning. I would also like to take this time to invite you on a shopping adventure with me and whomever you would like to tag along as well. It doesn’t have to be today, just let me know and I’ll be ready.

Yours Truly,

James Barnes

If someone had walked in they would have seen a radiant smile splitting your face. He was just so awkward and sweet all at the same time. Writing a thank you card just for a movie night. It was different but so him at the same time. You wondered how many cards had been tossed till he got the right words down.

Thinking back though you had been cold to him after the movie. You got so caught up in the movie that you forgot for a moment the things that had passed between you. Your smile fades, in a way it kind of felt like he was trying to buy you back. Bribe you with your favorites and his knowledge of things you liked to do. You close the card, it wasn’t going to be that simple. You pace your room, fuming at his audacity thinking to win you over this way, he was a fool. He hadn’t even explained why everything happened yet, let alone give you answers for anything you asked during your fights. You flip the card over onto the tray as it flutters you see more writing on the back.

P.S.

I know I upset you yesterday and I’m not trying to win you back by merely giving you your favorite things. I just lack the words to tell you, to explain how badly I screwed up. I want to show you that even though you may never forgive me, that you may move on, I’ll still be your Bucky, willing to do whatever it takes to get you back no matter how long that takes.”

You shake your head, he always did seem to know what you were thinking and how you would react. Also, it would be a shame to let this breakfast go to waste. You hunker down again chowing down into the breakfast.

A knock sounds at your door, you tell them to enter. Sam’s head pops out, taking in the scene before strolling all the way in plopping himself onto your bed.

“Well good morning sunshine. Didn’t see you for breakfast got concerned. But here you are with a small stash all for yourself. Greedy much?” He leans over and snatches a grape.

“Woah hands off, pal. Bucky happened to make this for me.” You attempt to shoo him away though it didn’t work as he grabs a couple more things from the tray.

He raises an eyebrow at you. “Oh really?” You nod and pass over the note. He reads quickly, “I wonder how much paper he went through to get this?”

“That’s what I said! It’s so proper and polite. Definitely not like him.”

“He probably looked it up on the internet. Though it sounds like he is trying to win you back by spending time and doing everything you love.”

You pull the card from him flipping it around so he could see the other side.

“Scratch that he does know you inside and out, but it’s good to know that’s not what he intended. Have you guys talked yet?” You shake your head. “Of course you haven’t. Well, I think the only thing that will help is talking. Get everything out there.”

“I just, I get so angry and sad when I see him. I really just want to punch him and call him names. I don’t know how to do it.” You shake your head the whole thing seems like a lost cause to you.

“Well this is your olive branch from him, you’re going to be spending time together, you’ll know what to do when the time comes.” He rises from the bed snatching a whole plate of goodies as he goes.

“Oh way to be cryptic, thanks for that Buddha. Stop stealing my food!!” You lunge after him.

“Nope this is your consultation fee, I the great Falcon do not come free.” He laughs and quickly leaves devouring the food as he went.

You throw your head back against the pillows, huffing. Well, no time like the present. Cleaning up you exit your room and head to the kitchen. Wanda is the only one present at the moment, quietly sipping on her orange juice.

“Hey Wanda, good morning.”

“Hello (Y/N), you're up late today.”

“Yeah, Bucky made me a humongous breakfast this morning.”

“Oh?” She raises her eyebrow, exactly like Sam in fact.

“Yeah it was good,” you switch topics not wanting the exact same thing said to you again. “ So speaking of him, Bucky invited me to go shopping, I was wondering if you would mind joining us?” You peak up at her from where you are washing your dishes. You try not to look too desperate for someone to join you.

She is studying you, “You think that’s a good idea? I mean only yesterday you were yelling at each other. Practically threatening to scratch his eyes out.”

“Well yeah, he wants a second chance and I figured I could at least try, maybe be friends with him again. That’s also why I want you there, make sure he’s not pulling anything over on me. I mean I was going to see if anyone else wanted to join us as well.”

She keeps looking at you. You’re not sure if she’s trying to decide if she wants to go or if you have gone completely insane overnight.

“I don’t want to seem like a naysayer, I just want you to be careful. We all saw how much it hurt you when he made you leave. I can’t watch you go through that again. This could just be a phase, maybe seeing you back he regrets it now but what about down the line. Also, Natasha and he haven’t spoken or interacted since you got back what happens when they do?”

You pause what you're doing she had valid points, as far as you knew this was just temporary. “Your right and I don’t want to get hurt like that again. Maybe that’s part of why I pulled back last night. But I want this to work. I want him back I do. Since I left and especially this morning, he knows me almost too well. I was reminded of all the good times and when he was there for me when I needed him. He knows everything the when, where, and how much. I feel like if I don’t let him try it’s throwing all that away. I need to give him this chance. I just want to believe he loves me and always has.”

You were crying bearing your soul to her. You wanted so bad for this to work out. For him to realize the mistake he made and never let you go again. You didn’t want to hurt and no more tears. You wanted to be someone’s true love again, to have that person that completes you so seamlessly.

Wanda swiftly moves around the counter taking you in her arms. Letting you cry out all the pain and anguish of the love you had lost. Guiding you to the couch she rocks you, gently rubbing her hands up and down your back. You fall into the occasional whimper and sniffle.

Still holding you, “Why don’t we try this? Next month is your birthday so we need to find you an outfit. We can go shopping next weekend. This way Bucky has more time to adjust to you being here. We can see if he goes running off to Natasha or if he is serious. That and you can start building your relationship from the bottom, spend time don’t just leave when he is in the room. Have those needed conversations. Then next Saturday we all go out and have some fun. We can even take Nat.” You jerk slightly at the idea. “Yes, you will have to deal with her eventually. I can tell you though that she is truly sorry and wants to make it up to you.”

You nod your head taking it all in. “Good! Now let’s move on with our day. I believe Tony wanted your assistance in the lab. Something about needing a guinea pig slash evil sidekick.”

Wiping your tears, you draw Wanda in hugging her tight. “Thank you. It’s probably the latter. Tony was finding a job for me, I think mostly to keep me close but I also I need something to do.”

“Perfect, go get changed because your whole look right now does not scream evil side kick right now.” She chuckles and pushes you toward your room.

“You’re right, this reads more lazy assistant. Oh wait, I should let Bucky know about next Saturday.”

“I got it, plus I’m headed to the gym anyway. That’s where the most likely is.”

Rushing to your room you dress and hustle to the lab. With each step, you grow a little more confident in your future. Everything would work out in the end and your friends would be there to help you through it all.

Entering the lab you are greeted, “Come pinky, it is time to take over the Wolrd!”

@veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @bustanut2k17 @luckynumber1213 @owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @caelestiside @anbrax5553 @fandom-writes @boundtomyfate @annie-are-you-okay @megs4real @marvelous-imagining @mizzzpink @coffeeismylife28 @yknott81 @chameerah @stevette60 @genlovesdcb @loveyourselfcreateyourself @winter-in-wakanda @buckyappreciationsociety @sammysgirl1997 @unicornqueen05 @sexyashmike @magpiemischief @steggy4ever @greeneyedgirls4 @melconnor2007 @iamwarrenspeace @justreadingfics @buckyismyaesthetic @gondorgirl01 @winterbuttmunch @s7sense @kjs-s @couchpotato24-7 @saysay125 @magellan-88 @sweetlittlepieandberrycustard

An open note to readers of fanfic

Sometimes I stare at the computer screen when the words don’t want to come and I think, “Fuck, who am I kidding? This is terrible writing, and this story is shit, and no one cares, anyway.“  And I close the window and go do something else.

But every now and then I get an amazing, heartfelt, beautiful comment from someone who loved something I wrote, and it reminds me that, at least for that one person, I did write something worthwhile. And so I open the window again and I write one sentence, and then another, and then I start to find my way again.

So on behalf of all fanfic writers everywhere, I want to say thank you, thank you so much, to all of the readers who take the time to leave a comment and tell us that something we wrote mattered to you, that it brightened your day or made you laugh or cry or get horny or whatever.

Please don’t think we’re ever bothered by your comment, or that we don’t want to hear it, or that what you have to say isn’t important enough. It means so, so much. And on some days, it’s what keeps us going.

Am I Enough PT 9

Bucky X Reader

Warnings: angst, fight fight FIGHT!!!

Summary: So what happened in the Gym and ho2 will Bucky react

A/N: I am sooooo sorry I got caught up in the holidays and wasn’t inspired like I usually was. But here it is. Also, I do enjoy reading all my comments they brighten my day, so even a one-word comment is always welcome.

“I’ve always noticed the looks between you, but I shrugged it off. You chose me but did you ever really pick me. I can’t compete against that. She’s perfection, and I actually thought you would be OK with having something like me. Like I could ever be enough for you. I shouldn’t have tried, you must have always known you were settling for less than you deserved. Why did you ever entertain my selfishness? She has everything, the looks, the skills, the charm, and the support you need. Why didn’t you leave me sooner?”

Y/N POV

You stormed away from the pair looking for Sam. You were so angry you didn’t even think to ask FRIDAY for a location. Going from place to place you finally find yourself in the gym. Sam is alone and currently doing pull-ups. You pause and take in the situation, why was it you always ran to Sam?

He was always there for you, lending a listening ear, even before this whole drama started. He chose to stay with you, instead of going with the team to save people. You can’t help but realize that Sam was the greatest friend you could ever ask for. Never once letting you down. You go back to all the late night movies and talks. The laughs over jokes and fun times.

“What was that like 2?” You call out knowing that he had done at least 8 since you came in.

“Haha, very funny. Don’t be jealous just cause you can’t do any.” He chuckles wandering over to you.

“I can take you any day, Ma'am.”

“Oh, it’s on!” He starts stalking towards your eyes locked on you. You take off running around the room. You both weave in and out of the equipment. Finally, you sprint across the room making a break for the door. He tackles you, on the sparring mat. You flip over attempting to block the tickles that are falling upon you.

“Uncle, uncle I give. Stop. Please.” You were, trying to get more air into your lungs. He stops and stands up. He leans over offering his hand to you. You grab it and hoist yourself up, finding yourself alarmingly close to Sam. You look up suddenly meeting his eyes, it was like the world and all your troubles meant nothing anymore. You had never quite noticed how pretty his eyes were. How they seemed to draw you in and make it seem like everything was going to be just fine.

Suddenly he was leaning in, slowly bringing his hand up to cup your jaw. For the life of you, you couldn’t find the will to stop him, even more so you didn’t want him to. He guided you gently toward his lips, he didn’t force it even allowing you to pull back if you wanted to. You could try at least, your lips met pressing together in a tentative kiss. You both pull away, making eye contact you both react at the same time. Faces scrunched, you both wipe your lips.

“Not to be rude but nope not doing that again,” Sam says after a moment.

“Totally agree with you there, kind of like kissing my brother or something.” You nod back at him.

“You have been totally friend-zoned now. You never come out of there.” He laughs at you, you soon join in. That had been a mistake but now that you had made it you felt lighter almost like a decision had been made from it.

“You know, I only came in here to talk to you about what just happened with Bucky and Nat, but I have to say I’m glad we that out of the way.”

“So, what happened?” He says putting his arm around your shoulders pulling you in.

“Let me tell you, but first why don’t we grab something to eat first and maybe you can shower, because no offense but you smell something fierce.”

“Whatever you love me. But I like that idea.”

You both turn and head out to the kitchen both now firmly on the same page.

Heading into the kitchen, you are murmuring to each other trying to figure out a plan. The team is gathered around in various places chatting together. You notice Bucky off to the side, Steve is talking to him but you can tell he isn’t paying attention. His hand is tightly gripping a cup and you can see the cracks forming on the cup. His eyes snap up to meet yours, you draw closer to Sam with the anger you see. It left you confused, he had no right to be angry with you. It should be the other way around. The glass breaks in is hand, you freeze watching him. React to the situation.

For the life of you, you can’t figure out what has set him off. So you huff at him and begin to ignore him. If he wanted to act like an infant than so be it but see if you gave 2 cares.

“Sam, what would you like to eat?” You face Sam, ignoring the stunned look on his face. You raise an eyebrow trying to encourage him to make a decision.

“Uh, just get me a sandwich, and maybe some chips,” Sam says looking around the room. You couldn’t see it but everyone was looking at you like you had lost your mind. He shrugs at them.

“Coming right up.” You begin to assume le the requested items.

“Hey, uh (Y/N) You feeling alright?” Tony asks handing you turkey from the fridge.

“Yeah, I’m doing just dandy. How about you Tony? Everything good with you?” You smile up at him, head slightly tilted to the side questioning his question silently.

“Oh, I’m good a little confused though? Usually, you go to help when you see… Well, anytime something breaks you always…” He falls quiet not quite sure how to explain what should be obvious to you, what he thought was in your nature really.

“Not when the reason for it is a grown man acting like a 2-year-old throwing a tantrum. Then no I don’t feel the need to help him clean up his own stupid mess.” With that, you turn around and begin to march out.

“Excuse me?! You want to repeat that?” Bucky is absolutely fuming when you turn around. His face is red and his chest is puffed out.

You turn around to confront him. Slowly you hand the plate to Sam. “I think you heard me just fine, but let me repeat it for you. I don’t help a GROWN man, who is throwing a TANTRUM, like a TWO-year-old, clean up his mess.” You cross your arms and stare him down. You could feel your own blood beginning to boil at this point.

“You dare call me that when you’re over here pretending to be a victim. When the only thing you want is attention.” He takes a step forward and Steve jumps in front of him holding him back.

You meet him head-on. “Don’t talk to me like that you prick, unlike you I didn’t have to jump into someone else’s pants to get it.” You’re yelling at him. Sam has placed the plate down and is now holding you back as well. “Let me go, Sam, I’m going to knock him into next week.” You strain against him trying to get a punch in.

“Yeah try to get past him. You couldn’t knock me anywhere. You’re so weak and pathetic. I’m almost surprised you didn’t ask Sammy boy here to do it for you.” Bucky chuckles darkly.

“Don’t you dare bring him into this. Jerk, you think just cause you’re an avenger you can do and say whatever you want. Well, you can’t. I could take you down a couple notches. You just have your head so far up your butt, you can’t even see what an arrogant douche you’ve become. Maybe when you’ve removed your head we can have a talk like normal adults, but I’m not going to stand here and listen to you insult me or anyone else any longer.” You turn and walk out leaving Sam to scramble after you.

Bucky POV

He was clenching his fists and panting with how angry he was at her still. Just strolling in here pretending that she hadn’t just been lip-locked with Sam.

“What’s the matter with you, jerk?” Steve finally releases him staring him down. He’s not the only one, the rest of the team is staring at him as well.

Bucky shook his head, they didn’t know. He wasn’t going to be the one to tell them either.

“If you thought that was going to help you get her back you are seriously demented,” Steve said. “You said you wanted her back. You certainly didn’t seem like you wanted that just now.”

Bucky pulled his glare to Steve, but it died quickly. He knew Steve only meant the best even if it didn’t seem like it. He pulled in a breath and counted. When he released it, it was shaky. He screwed up again.

“Why do I do this? It seems like the only thing I’m capable of doing is hurting her. Maybe I should just let her go. She doesn’t deserve someone like me, constantly making mistakes.” He’s looking at the floor and his shoulders begin hunching up more. From his tone, they can all tell he’s more trying to convince himself than anyone. How does he give up the greatest thing that has ever happened to him? Heck, how did he manage it the first time?

“Oh no, you don’t just get to dip out when it gets hard, Tin Man.” Tony pulls in front of him. “You said you were willing to do anything to get her back. Now prove it! We all make mistakes, I’m King of those things, as much as I hate to admit it. Take it from me, don’t you dare let her go. You can show her that you can be everything she wants and needs.”

Bucky is staring at him. They never had a great relationship, when he started dating (Y/N) Tony had not so subtly told him he would pay if he hurt her. So the fact that he was helping him absolutely floored him. His mouth fell open.

“Shut it, man, I know what I told you before, but I know for a fact that the one way to stop her hurting is to get you back together. You may not see it but the rest of us do. The lingering stares between you, the going out of the way to get advice on how to handle things. The only thing that hasn’t happened is a confrontation to get it all out.”

He continued to stare, that was some dang good advice. “How do I fix this? I’ve fallen so far I don’t see a way out anymore. This probably screwed any chance I had.”

“Well, the good thing about the bottom the only way to go is up. To start you might just want to take her advice and get your head out your rear. She wants a genuine apology and to show her that she is worth everything you have to give. Let’s start with small things for now. She. Never was a big bang kinda girl she prefers subtle. So we start with….” Tony is going off now, full of ideas.

Bucky though grabs on to them drinking them in. The others throw in ideas and pitch out the crazies, yo which there are quite a few. The girls, yes even Nat comes to help. They are all wary of her words but after a while her words ring true, calling a halt to any hate towards her. In fact, most of what she says is put into play.

An hour or so later they have a plan. It’s derived from only the best intentions and everyone’s sole focus to make (Y/N) happy. They are calling it Operation Happy Ending. Syncing their watches they break and head out each with an assigned task. Bucky’s is by far the hardest as it begins with an apology.

He approaches her room, each step heavier than the last. Finally, he knocks on your door, praying silently that Sam wouldn’t answer and wasn’t there. To his relief he wasn’t, she’s now dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Her face falls slightly at see him at the door. Obviously not who she expected.

“Can I help you?” Her voice is cold and holds a slight disdain for him, she is definitely still upset with him.

He drops his face down, not meeting her eyes. This was getting harder by the second. Not the apology but the outcome. What if she didn’t forgive him? Shut the door in his face? Wanted to never see him again?

“I…. I wan… I wanted to apologize for for…… for what I said back there. About you just wanting attention and playing a victim. It’s not true, but you know that I know that, everyone knows that. I… just got jealous seeing you and Sam together. Being friends, not that any of that is new.” He is tripping over his words forming a stutter he never had before. “What I mean is, I can’t believe I ever said something so wrong about you. You have every right to be mad at me and hate me forever. I was wondering though if you would let me make it up to you. You don’t have to forgive me, just maybe give me a chance to show you how sorry I am about everything?”

He finally looks up at her, heart in his eyes. Shirt balled in his hands from where he has been pulling on the material during his spiel. He wanted nothing more than to run but he needed her to say yes.

“I don’t know, I don't think I’m ready to…” She is searching for an answer trying to better explain how she feels.

“I don’t want anything big promise maybe just a movie or game night with the team. A day out shopping, just let me show you how much you mean to me and how sorry I am.” He was desperate at this point begging her to see, and willing to give anything for it. “Sam can come to, anyone can whatever make you comfortable. Really anything just gives me one more chance, I won’t mess this up. I promise.” He gently grabs one of her hands holding on almost trying to make her feel how desperate he is.

“Alright, a game night and a day of shopping don’t sound bad.” She nods, Bucky releases the breath he was holding. “But one more chance, I don’t think I can handle anything else.”

“Ok, thank you, thank you. You won’t regret this I promise things will be better.”

She giggles softly at him and how desperate he is. He jerks his head again to meet your eyes. This time the hope was clear as day in his eyes. He had a chance now to make this alright with her.

@veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @bustanut2k17 @luckynumber1213 @owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @caelestiside @anbrax5553 @fandom-writes @boundtomyfate @annie-are-you-okay @megs4real @marvelous-imagining @mizzzpink @coffeeismylife28 @yknott81 @chameerah @stevette60 @genlovesdcb @loveyourselfcreateyourself @winter-in-wakanda @buckyappreciationsociety @sammysgirl1997 @unicornqueen05 @sexyashmike @magpiemischief @steggy4ever @greeneyedgirls4 @melconnor2007 @iamwarrenspeace @justreadingfics @buckyismyaesthetic @gondorgirl01 @winterbuttmunch @s7sense @kjs-s @couchpotato24-7

Am I Enough PT 8

Summary: A successful return. Now how will they handle being confronted daily with their fears?

Warnings: Bringing back the angst!

A/N: Don’t hate me too much. Also not as long as it usually is. I apologize for the delay. I got super busy. Thoughts and comments always welcome.

“This whole situation is toxic. How can you, for one moment, even think of doing something like this? What started this in the first place? No, never mind I don’t want to know. Don’t tell me. I might do something unforgivable.”

Y/N POV

One would think after such a great reunion with everyone, you would be ok living in the same vicinity as Bucky. You pulled it off so well, something must have happened at movie night. For days you would catch your friends giving you side eyes, checking to see if you were ok, how you slept even. There was this undertone, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on buying it was there. You’d figure it out eventually.

Being as you were back in the city you called up your boss letting her know all had been resolved. She was brief with you, never really staying on topic as you talked. By the end, she told you they had replaced you and you would have to find other employment. She was soooo sorry, as she put it. The temp they hired just worked out a little too well. This left you without a job and without a home for the foreseeable future.

For once you buried your pride and approached Tony, he could help. You went to his workshop, knocking but knowing nothing could be heard over his rock. You slide the door open and stepped in. He was wearing a white tank top and covered in grease. He jammed around the place throwing holograms from place to place. Just watching made you dizzy and confused.

Finally, the song ended, “Hey, Tony.” You raised your voice to ensure he heard as the next song belted out of the speakers.

“Ah, munchkin. What brings you to my lair?”

“I..” You swallow, just say it, you reprimanded yourself. “I need your help. You see I lost my job and I really have no idea what to do now.”

“Well, you’ve come to the right place! I have plenty to offer you, even if you want to try something out first. Just know you don’t have to work to stay here. Even if you need shopping money I’m here.” He had grabbed your shoulders, shaking you to emphasize how serious he was.

“Alright, let me know. I think I’ll take some time off first. I haven’t had real downtime in forever.”

“Perfect, I’ll have FRIDAY send you potentials let her know which you like.”

You gave him a quick hug and skipped away. You were coming down the hall toward the living room when you turned the corner. This landed you face to face with a certain redhead. You both froze staring at each other. Besides dinner that night you hadn’t seen her, she was good at what she does but here she was. You stared at her taking her in., her cheeks hollow, her eyes had bags so deep in color it looked almost painted on, even her hair that flaming red seemed dull hanging limply around her face.

Sadness sweeps over you again, she looked so small now. This person was a complete opposite of what you had grown to know. It was then that anger, courses through. She should be suffering, how could she not? What she did to you, she deserved it. You shudder this wasn’t like you, this strong hate. She was your friend at one point, she shouldn’t be wasting away like this. It was still there though the anger, the pain.

Nat saw the shudder and the residual anger on your face. Taking a step back from you, she assessed the situation trying to find the quickest way out. She tilted to make her retreat when she paused.

“(Y/N), I… I can’t… I’m sorry. It should have never happened and I know you may never be able to forgive me but I am truly sorry.” She hiccups eyes filled with tears. For the moment you let the anger take over.

“It still happened, you let it happen. You choose this, you went behind my back and slept with my boyfriend. I told you everything about him and us. All the problems, the tears, and struggles. Everything! So no I can’t forgive you and a part never wants to. You lied to my face multiple times went behind my back. Heck, you're probably still sleeping with him still. But I get, you one, you got the guy. Just don’t expect me to be happy for you either.”

You were yelling at her by the end. Trying to show her just a glimpse of the pain you felt and the anger. “We aren’t together, we broke it off I can’t even look at him. Knowing what I did to you. Please, we want to make it better, I promise nothing is going on between us.”

“Your promises mean nothing to me now. I don’t think you fully know how much it hurt to not only lose both my best friend but to find I lost my boyfriend to her. I lost everything now because you two decided to go behind my back and pretend that what we had was real.”

You were so confused, she had gotten what she wanted. Bucky was her’ s and as far as you were concerned she could have him. Then why did you want to believe her? No, crave to believe it.

“I can’t do this with you any more Nat, just leave me alone.” With that, you shoved passed her.

You were fuming when you walked into the main room as your luck would have there sat Bucky at the kitchen counter. You almost went back the way you came, only you saw Nat still down the hall. You were quite literally between a rock and a hard place. You sigh and resign yourself to your fate of having two not needed conversations.

You head to the fridge pulling it open. Bucky’s head jerks up and stares at you rummaging through the food.

“Oh, hey (Y/N), I.. um.” You ignore him it clear he had heard your conversation with Nat. You tense, but you are actually kind of glad. He knew how you felt now, where he stood with you. Maybe he wouldn’t try anything now. It wasn’t meant to be as he clears his throat.

“You know what she said is true we haven’t done anything since you left. We are barely able to stay in the same room now.”

You bang the fridge door closed, your appetite now gone. “I don’t care Bucky, I’m sure you heard and I’ll repeat you won. You got what you wanted, nothing is holding you back from her. I don’t want to talk to you anymore either.”

“I need to talk to you though. I messed up, but I want to fix it. Please, I’ll do anything, just tell me what to do, doll.”

“Don’t call me that, I’m no longer your doll. Based on how this conversation is going I won’t be your doll ever again.” The name that once made butterflies erupt now left a foul taste in your mouth. You spin and march out of the room, huffing. You weren’t going to entertain them, they can’t just walk back in expect everything to go back. All because they finally understood how much pain they had caused. How much of a ‘mistake’ they had made.

You needed a distraction and fast, so you turned to the one person that had done so so far.

Bucky POV

She practically ran away from him. He drops his head into his hands. Why was this so hard? He opened up to her, admitted he was wrong. Sam was right, as much as he hated to admit it, this was going to be the hardest thing he was going to do.

Steve walked in to see his friends head laid low. He can up behind him clapping him on the back.

“Hey man, everything alright?” He takes a seat next to him.

“No, everything is not alright, I don’t know what to do Steve. She was just here, I apologized to her but she said it meant nothing.” He could wrap his head around it all. This wasn’t like her, this wasn’t in any way like (Y/N). She was the most caring, selfless person, no matter what happened she was always there for him. No, that she wasn’t he didn’t know what to do about it anymore.

“Bucky, I know it may seem helpless right now, but see it from her point of view. She has lost everything that she holds dear. She can’t just trust you again because you say you’re sorry. How many times did you lie to her? Go behind her back? I’m not saying you won’t ever be forgiving, but it will take time a lot of time. She has to learn to trust you again. I know Sam told you this but this is work and it’s hard, but I know you can do it. I’ll be here to help.”

Bucky blinked at him, after everything that he had done, no one would blame Steve for not trusting him. He wrapped his arms around Steve pulling him in close.

“Thank you, for believing me. You didn’t have to but you do.” He had tears on his face. Not letting Steve go.

“You were stupid but I know you can do better and will. This is your last chance, jerk I can’t help you if you screw it up again.”

“Punk, I’m not letting her go ever again.” They pounded the others back and let go.

“Don’t push Bucky, let her come to you that’s the only way this is ever going to work.” He nods and wipes his tears before anyone could see.

“Ok, I can do that. I need…. I need to talk to Sam. He has ideas, I’m sure he can help me.”

“He can, this is going to work out I promise. I like what you did with the dinner, I think she liked it too.”

Again Bucky nods. Leaving Steve he goes to find Sam. He just needs to talk get this all off his chest. He had kept up talking to Sam but instead of over the phone now it was just in person. Having come to rely on it, it was a little harder with (Y/N) around though. It seemed like Sam and she were attached at the hip. One could hardly find one without the other, whispering between each other and laughing at private jokes between them. They seemed to be getting awfully close.

FRIDAY informed him of Sams location in the gym. Moving quickly he headed down. Just as he was reaching the door though he heard voices.

“Sam, thanks for always helping me.” Bucky knows that voice, it’s (Y/N). He stops trying to listen in through the closed door.

They must have retreated farther into the room and with Tony’s impressive sound blocking all the rest of the conversation. He crept closer trying to see in without being seen. The only perk of his Winter training, observing without being seen.

What he saw though made his heart stop. There they were standing close to each other, not an inch between them, suddenly he sees Sam’s hand come up and cradle the back of her neck. He tilts his head and their lips collide.

Bucky jerks away. He’s lost her and he’s lost her to the man that said he was going to help him.

@veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @bustanut2k17 @luckynumber1213 @owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @caelestiside @anbrax5553 @fandom-writes @boundtomyfate @annie-are-you-okay @megs4real @marvelous-imagining @mizzzpink @coffeeismylife28 @yknott81 @chameerah @stevette60 @genlovesdcb @loveyourselfcreateyourself @winter-in-wakanda @buckyappreciationsociety @sammysgirl1997 @unicornqueen05 @sexyashmike @magpiemischief @steggy4ever @greeneyedgirls4 @melconnor2007 @iamwarrenspeace @justreadingfics @buckyismyaesthetic @gondorgirl01 @winterbuttmunch @s7sense @kjs-s

Am I Enough PT 7

Bucky X Reader

Summary: A fire brings the group back together. How will things play out with Bucky and will his feelings hold strong?

Warnings: Fluff, overstimulated avengers, little angst.

A/N: SUPRISE!! I finished it early. This is a little long so beware. Also, I hope it isn’t repetitive I wanted to display both sides of the story, so let me know if it worked.

“You’re a jerk you know that? You make me feel all these things for you and then rip it away from me. Tell me, did you enjoy it? Enjoy leading me on, was it some sick game to you two? ‘Oh look, let’s see how long I can string her along before she realizes it all means nothing.’ Well, I’m happy I could entertain you. Gah, I was so stupid for believing any of it. I can barely look at you now.”

Bucky POV

After the call came in he started to freak out a little. She was coming back, how was he supposed to act. He knew he had to prove himself to the others and her but… but what? Did he go meet her at the hanger? Should he try to apologize? Maybe he should just stay out of the way?

He decided that staying away would be best, when the next call came, announcing she was about to land, everyone practically ran to the elevator. Each trying to be the first to see her. He stayed back, he had decided maybe the subtle way, was the best way. So dinner for the group it was. Pulling out the necessary equipment he got to work. Choosing what to make was relatively easy, he remembered always catch a small smile and an obvious twinkle in (Y/N)’s eyes when people announced pasta for dinner. She had a weakness for warm bread and (Y/F/S).

He had just put the water on when he heard the clamor from the living room, all of them practically tumbling out the elevator, one talking over the others. They craved her attention, she had a goofy smile on her face as they each tried to one-up the other with their stories. Suddenly she glances over, eyes connecting with his. She pauses in her step, briefly taking him in. Man, he wants to go over there to hug her but before he can, she simply sends him a small nod before proceeding to the couch with the others.

He blinks what had just happened, there was no way she should be acknowledging his presence. He thought she wouldn’t even want to see him, ignore he even existed. Feeling his blood begin to boil he pauses dinner, maybe she wasn’t as upset about the breakup. She had made it seem like it was this big deal this irreparable harm to her and she was smiling at him.

Wait no, he shakes his head, she has to be putting up a front. Trying not to ruin her reunion with her friends. He sighs to himself, how can he believe she didn’t care anymore? Why was he so angry right now? She just got back he was trying to fix all of this. Focusing back on dinner he didn’t hear Sam walk into the kitchen.

“What’s going through that head of yours?” Sam asks leaning against one of the counters arms folded.

“Too much.” Bucky is surprised by how open he is with Sam nowadays. Usually, he would go to his automatic reply, nothing. He turns to Sam studying him, what was it that made him open up to this guy so easily.

“What I got something on my face?” He runs his hands over it trying to wipe away whatever was there. Bucky simply shakes his head. “We can talk about it later if you want? I was just seeing if I could help you with dinner.”

He has a knowing grin on his face. Revealing that he knew exactly why Bucky was doing all of this. He nods and directs him to the bread, garlic bread was high on her list of favorites. They work in silent tandem, each knowing what the other was doing and moving on to the next task without asking. Every once in a while Bucky would look up, making sure she was still there, fearing she changed her mind and fled once more. He couldn’t help the pause in his actions at moments when she would let out a laugh, one that practically split her face. They listened to the team continue to yammer away, it made both of them smile knowing how much (Y/N) was loved here in the group.

With the table set up and dinner is placed on the table, everyone files in. There is a brief scuffle on who is sitting next to (Y/N) and across from her. Everyone eventually gets settled except Sam, Bucky, and Nat. Bucky brings the last of the food placing the bread directly in front of her. While he is leaning over (Y/N), Nat shuffles in, both of them tense taking the other in. Nat drops her head and took a seat as far away for her as she could.

There was a moment of silence before, “Dibs!!” Sam shouted grabbing the pasta. The rest dived in filling their plates. Bucky couldn’t help but take in the group. This is how it should be, what it always should have been. A family together, enjoying a meal. The meal continues, no one acknowledges the underlining tension between the team members.

After wrapping up they decide to reconvene in the living room for a movie night. They went to their separate quarters to get pajamas, blankets, and pillows. Bucky retreated, quickly changing and grabbing his favorite blanket, (Y/N) had picked it out of course but he had grown even more attached to it of late.

Swinging out of his door, he ran smack into someone. They bounced off and he instinctively reached out pulling them against him to steady them both. He looked down, he was met with (Y/E/C) eyes. It wasn’t just anyone it was (Y/N).

Y/N POV

The flight had been quick, you didn’t have much left after the fire was put out. The whole ride had you twitching though. The closer you got the more the twitch became more prominent. Sam at one point reached over and started to stroke your hand holding it still.

When you got off the plane you were bombarded with people and hugs. Each trying to squeeze there way into your arms. Man, you had missed them. You hadn’t quite realized how much until they were here. You were home. They pulled you toward the elevator, not wanting to be left out they all crammed in. When you exited, you were laughing at a story the Thor had just told. You cracked up, he had such a never could quite grasp Earth’s ways. As you looked up to take in the place you are met with those steel blue eyes. You freeze. Not ready, not ready, NOT READY. You were here though.

‘Focus, don’t let him see the pain (Y/N)’ you pep talked your self. You shoot him a small smile. ‘Nailed It’ you give yourself a mental fist bump. You could do this.

Your friend continues to fight for your attention all the way until dinner is called. They even fought over who was sitting closest to you. As they settled the final few struggled in that when you saw her. She was pale and her hair stood out even more against her. Her eyes were rimmed in red and the bags beneath her eyes suggested she hadn’t been sleeping well at all. You felt a twinge of sadness, you had never seen her like this. She was the strong one of the group. Heck, she had gotten what, no who she wanted. She drops her eyes and sits.

It was the perfect meal back. You knew Bucky had made it with you in mind. You had caught a few of the looks he sent you while preparing the meal. Drenching your pasta in the sauce. The bread almost made you moan, there was a slight eye flutter at the first bite.

When the meal was done and the movie night called you waited for the room to clear. You pulled Sam back, “I don’t know if I can do this.” You whispered to him, pulling on his arm as you tried to pull yourself together. “I don’t know how to act, how do I not fall apart while he is in the room?”

Sam chuckles shaking his head at you, “I think you're doing just fine if anything I should be asking you how you are managing it. You pulled off being ok better than anyone I have ever seen. As for now, Bucky is trying to make amends just keep that in mind alright?” You nod before turning toward your room.

You speed up not wanting anyone to wait on you. Not paying attention you run straight into a brick wall or so it felt like. When the walls arms came and wrapped around you gripping you close your eyes shot up meeting his. Well, crap!

“You alright?” He says after a moment of you two taking each other in. For some reason, you can’t take your eyes off each other. He searches your face looking for answers and reactions to the situation.

You give a small nod, “Yeah, sorry about that. Too excited for the movie night.”

“Oh yeah been a while since we had one. I just hope it’s a better movie than last time.”

“Hey! Volcanos in New York wasn’t that bad. It could happen here.” You have the smile on your face now remember that last movie. Cheesy to the extreme.

You both chuckle at the memory. You can't help but take in his face and the joy on it. You missed it. As soon as that thought ran through your head, you both realize what is happening and an awkwardness settles over you. You clear your throat and step away.

“I…I better get going before they send a search squad.” He only dips his head in acknowledgment. Turning your head away from him. “Oh and Bucky?” You swing your head back, he hadn’t moved just lifted his head up to look at you. “Thank you for dinner it was perfect.” You jog away. Leaving a very confused and shaken Bucky in your wake.

You enter the living room to find everyone present surprisingly. You find Sam on the love seat and almost by automatic response plop down next to him swinging your legs over his. He starts to rub your calves while you get comfy. You start to converse with Sam chatting and laughing when you noticed an odd silence about you.

You turn to the group, they all had eyes on the two of you. You cock your head to the side, asking a silent question of what’s going on.

“Aren’t you two lovebirds getting cozy.” Tony wiggled his eyebrows at you and you start to blush. Sam lets out a laugh. He pulls your legs into him.

“She’s mine now, shouldn’t have left me all alone with her. But really I just like these legs. So pretty, so soft. My precious.” He strokes your leg whole channeling his inner Smegal. There are snickers throughout. “Nah, nothing going on here, we just got used to our late night talks is all.”

The group nods, “So what are we watching?” You ask to get the subject off of you.

“I think, you should pick, but since it is you it will be (Y/F/M).” You nod. Gotcha there, you tend to be predictable when it came to movies. The movie begins and the room goes quiet. Even if it was your favorite, you feel your eyes grow heavy. Soon you're nodding off snuggling even closer to Sam. No one noticed until the whispers started. You shifted in your seat, settling for the moment. A couple minutes later you do it again but with tears dropping down. Sam quickly gathers you up, pulling you in close to him.

“Ahhh, shh I gotcha baby girl, calm down it’s just a dream.” He’s running his hands along your back and legs, gripping you close. After a moment you go limp and slumber again.

He casts his eyes up taking in the team. The heartbreak is evident, a few guilty, some for witnessing it others being the cause of it. “Hey everyone relaxes, it happens. We all get them. She doesn’t have as many now but they pop up. We are working on them. Right now she just needs support and not too many questions.”

The group nods. Seeing their affirmation he stands up with you taking you to your room. He tucks you in and smoothes your hair back. You would be ok. You were strong and so freaking stubborn. Either way, you would make it and he would be there to help.

@veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @bustanut2k17 @luckynumber1213 @owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @caelestiside @anbrax5553 @fandom-writes @boundtomyfate @annie-are-you-okay @megs4real @marvelous-imagining @mizzzpink @coffeeismylife28 @yknott81 @chameerah @stevette60 @genlovesdcb @loveyourselfcreateyourself @winter-in-wakanda @buckyappreciationsociety @sammysgirl1997 @unicornqueen05 @sexyashmike @magpiemischief @steggy4ever @greeneyedgirls4 @melconnor2007 @iamwarrenspeace @justreadingfics @buckyismyaesthetic @gondorgirl01 @winterbuttmunch

200 Followers!!!

Man I can't even begin to express how much I am grateful for each of you. Thank you so much for following. It was only about a month ago I had 7 and I was cool with that. My mind is blown!!

Am I Enough PT 6

Am I Enough PT 6

Bucky X Reader

Summary: The team gets called back for a mission, but Sam stays back. Not only to keep an eye on you but also try to convince you back.

Warnings: angst fluff and Sam freaking Wilson!

A/N: Hello All! This chapter may seem a little rushed wanted to move the story along to the good stuff. Also, Sam Wilson never gets enough love in stories so I’m loving up on him. Thanks again for all the comments and messages I’m really enjoying reading them.

“What do I do now?”

Y/N POV

It seemed to be a blur of events after your announcement, Tony was calling the jet getting it ready to go. Steve had a blank stare on his face, trying to convince himself that what he just heard wasn’t true. Sam and Wanda were attempting to talk them down and focus, snapping their fingers in their faces. Thor was hugging you close telling you that everything would be OK, that he would avenge your honor. Vision was standing around taking the group is not really helping or hindering anyone.

It seemed to wind down when all their phones began to ring and vibrate. Tony quickly accessed his phone and read the message. “Looks like we have a mission guy, trouble in Europe again.” He rolls his eyes and puts his phone away. “This mission is on hold until we get back. Sam you’re staying here, don’t want this one,” he is waving his hand directly at you. “Wandering off or convincing herself that she is staying in this disconnected from humanity town.”

Sam merely nods his head. “Woah, hold on I don’t need some babysitter.” You protest, turning to Tony, glaring at Sam as well, shaking your finger at him. “I’m happy you all came to check up on me but you have a mission to do, don’t just leave Sam behind because you think I’m not coming back.”

Tony is no longer listening to you. Instead, he is on the phone again checking on trip details. You sigh looking around for someone to back you up. Of course, they all agree with Tony, nods go around at the apparent sound decision. It’s part of the reason that they were here.

“Give it up kiddo,” Clint finally speaks up, you had forgotten he was here, “just let him have this, he was pretty torn up when you left.” You can only nod and turn to Sam.

“I guess you are bunking with me, I hope you don’t mind sleeping on the floor.”

He chuckles and swings an arm around your shoulder. “Yes, finally a roommate I don’t mind having. Also the prettiest one I think I have ever had.”

You giggle and wrap your arm around his waist. “Let's see them off and then find you some things to do while I work, I certainly don’t have anything for you now.”

Seeing them off was a tearful event, they each had their own fears of you not coming back. More so that this might be the last chance to convince you to come back. To say there was a lot of pressure on Sam was an understatement. Each one drew him away to talk and each time he merely clapped them on the shoulder and sent them on their way. They all have you gone crushing hugs, each one lingering as they whispered encouragement and love into your ear.

Tony was the last to come up, he didn’t reach for you but begins to lecture you making sure you took care of yourself. You roll your eyes and cut him off by pulling him in. It takes him a moment but he returns the hug, pulling you as close as he can.

“Thank you, Tony, for looking out for me. I know you are worried I’m not coming back but I will, in my own time, granted. I can’t just leave you alone for too long, you’ll get into trouble.”

He chuckles, “Too late for that sweetheart, why do you think I’m here.” He sneaks his hand in your pocket trying to slide his credit card in. You stop his hand. “Please just let me have this,” he whispers, getting slightly choked up, “I want to at least know that if anything happens you’ll have enough to come back to me. My last bit of taking care of you?” You release him to continue. You squeeze him once more before letting him go.

You both have tears in your eyes. He wipes them away quickly, “Darn this fresh air, I need some smog-clogged streets, making my eyes water.” You shake your head and smile. With that you see them fly off once again to save the day.

You turn to Sam and head to the car. The car ride is fun, you have cranked the music up and rolled the window down. Singing at the top of your lungs. This was your favorite thing about Sam, his ability to make you feel that everything was alright and that no matter what you wanted to do, you could do it and he was more than up for it.

You head for the mall, it had just about everything you could ask for. You make a game out of your time, a scavenger hunt of sorts. Find the tallest heel ended with Sam strutting down the aisle in a pair of 8-inch yellow stilettos. Find the biggest TV, you grabbed the popcorn and a bean bag chair watching the aquarium on the screen. The last was the most unhealthy snack you could find, you shared a triple chocolate chunk fudge ice cream sandwich. It was so sweet you both only got about 4 bites in each that you had to stop.

The best part was, Tony, footed the bill for everything. You ended up with a trunk full of stuff, a TV with a game console with any and every game Sam could possibly play. He had movies galore and you even talked him into a few books for educational purposes, as you called it. To finish it off you bought another blowup bed with all bed necessities.

Dragging it all home you set everything up while waiting for the pizza to arrive. This had been the best day ever, it was rare you got to spend this much time with Sam.you started to wonder why that was when you had so much in common. You could do this all the time with him. When the pizza arrived you both sat on the floor each with a remote control in your hand.

“Sam?” You glance at him while playing COD together, he grunts in question. “Thanks.”

Again he grunts, before shifting his eyes. “Thanks? For what?”

“For being here. I know I haven’t been the most pleasant person to be around. You haven’t even asked what happened yet. You know the who and what but not all the details.”

Sam pauses the game setting his controller down. “You don’t have to thank me for that. I’ll always be here for you. What do you think friends are for?”

“I know that and that’s why I’m thanking you. I mean I cry myself to sleep every night, I get lost in my head during conversations, you shouldn’t have to put up with that. The fact that you do means a lot to me. I’ll get better I promise.” You’re sniffling by the end, wondering why you ended up with such a great friend.

“Ok, ok, you’re welcome. Like I said I’ll always be here for you. As for everything else, we’ll work through it. Everything will get better. You’re hurt and scared but I’m not leaving you anytime soon. If you need to cry, go for it. Drift all you want, I’ll draw you back in, but never forget I’m right here.” He pulls you into a hug kissing your forehead.

He pulls back and you both share a smile. “Now, pick up that remote and let me kick your butt.”

“Oh, you’re so on!”

The night continued on with fun and laughter and barely a thought towards Bucky. It was perfect and for the first time since this, all started you slept peacefully not a tear escaped you.

The next few days formed a pattern, work and coming home to dinner and movies or games. You started to relax in your new environment, Sam made it easier as well, talking late into the night about what was happening. The one thing you did avoid was Bucky and anything to do with him. You would tense up and change the subject when brought up. Sam seemed to catch on rather quickly and soon you weren’t talking about him at all.

The team hadn’t called since they left, but as the week went by you started to miss them. It was enough to make you want to go back. Though a bonus would be if he wasn’t there of course. All in all, you were still up in the air, Sam never commenting directly, just mentioning the places and things he missed in New York.

As if the universe got tired of you flip-flopping, it decided to make the choice for you. You had gone out to dinner, a nice little pizza joint, while you were strolling back you saw 2 fire trucks fly by. You don’t think much of it until you drew closer to your apartment. Flames engulfed the 3rd floor just above your apartment. You stop staring at the building praying it wasn’t so that maybe you had gotten your building confused. This was not the case. The flames shot high into the sky blasting out the windows.

Sam turns you away from the scene burying your face into his chest. Tears began to form and choking sobs escape you. Your arms shakily wrap around him, attempting to pull yourself closer to him. It wasn’t so much the loss of your stuff or the home but the mere thought of having to go back now. You weren’t ready yet. You still had a month, you were supposed to have a whole month left. This was happening too quick. Your old apartment was still unavailable to you, meaning you didn’t have a place to stay, all you could think of thought was going back to him.

Sam pulls his phone out dialing Tony, “Hey, some things happened. It looks like your getting your wish we’re coming back.”

Bucky POV

After getting off the phone with Sam, Bucky started to pace the floor. He had made the call. He made the right choice. He just had to wait now. Of course, he was either going to die from his friends beating him or something worse.

Soon he was interrupted by a phone call. Mission meeting in 2 hours when the rest of the team came back. A door down the hall opens, Nat staggers out.

“You get the call as well?”

“Yes, all hands on deck I guess.” She is practically whispering it. She won’t meet his eyes.

“Ok, I called Sam. I’m going to make this right I promise.” She snorts at this finally looking at him.

“Good luck.”

“They know.” She stiffens. This was going to be awkward, to say the least. She nods and goes on her way to prep for the mission.

Knowing he couldn’t do anything till Sam arrived he went as well to suit up. FRIDAY informed him of the team arriving. He pulls himself together, heading towards the landing platform. He arrives at the hatch. Tony is the first to exit, heading directly toward Bucky. He braces himself seeing the first coming but knowing he deserves it. He takes the hit, letting his head swing with the punch.

“I ought to do much worse than that, Tin Man.” Tony is fuming but already feeling a little better after the one hit. Bucky sees Steve come towards them. Waving him off he looks back at Tony.

“I deserved that. I know what I did was wrong and I’m going to fix this. I need to I never should have done what I did.”

“You’re darn right about that. Unfortunately, you're going to have to prove that to us before you ever get near her. You understand?” He’s waving his finger in his face. He stops and turns around storming off.

“I will,” he yells after Tony. “Where is Sam? I need his help.”

“He’s not here. Stayed back with (Y/N)” Steve answers. Bucky can tell he’s angry with him, no more frustrated. He doesn’t understand still, how is the best friend could break a girls heart so bad. Steve doesn’t meet his eyes for long want to look elsewhere but still be there for his best friend.

He nods, well maybe he can just call for now. First came the mission though. After a brief debrief they all piled into the quinjet and headed out. It was a hard mission, every time it seemed they were making headway they got pushed back.

By the end, all were covered in bruises scrapes and a few cuts all around. They were grateful to be back at the compound. It was harder than normal considering the tension between the members. Nat had gotten glares and snarky remakes from each. Everyone trying to pretend that they both hadn’t played a part in destroying one of their best friends.

At the end of the day though, they each just wanted things to go back to the way things were. When they were a family.

Going to their separate quarters, Bucky grabbed his phone quickly dialed up Sam. When he answered Bucky quickly starts talking, “I need your help. I want you to help me make things right with her. I just don’t know what I need to do? Please? Please help me.”

“Woah slow down there. I can help but did you think about what I said?”

“Yes.”

“Good, now you're going to call me every day, for now, tells me about how your feeling. I’m guessing Tony wanted you to prove yourself to them and I agree but this is a good start. I want to know what is going on in that head of yours. I mean everything any doubts, fears, or wild ideas that pop up.”

Bucky is nodding into the phone. He wants to be certain. He wants to bring his family back together, but most importantly he wants you to come back.

“Is that a Yes?”

“Yes, yes I understand.” He was desperate to make them all understand. He needs to show them all how serious he was. This caused him to almost shout his answer.

“Good now, (Y/N) usually is at work from 9-4 so call me anytime between then and I can guarantee that I’ll pick up. After that, I will be with her so I may not answer so leave me a message and I’ll call you back when I get a chance.”

“Alright”

“Good, now I have to go she’s back.”

“Ok take good care of her.”

“Always do.” Bucky hangs up. He felt better already. He was headed in the right direction.

Over the next week, he calls, Sam never once failing to pick up, in fact, most days Bucky calls 2 or 3 times a day. About 2 weeks later, there was a change, instead of Bucky calling Sam, Sam called him. Bucky picked up afraid that something had happened to her. She could be hurt by anything.

It turned out they were coming back. Now it was time to put his feelings to the test.

@veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @bustanut2k17 @luckynumber1213 @owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @caelestiside @anbrax5553 @fandom-writes @boundtomyfate @annie-are-you-okay @megs4real @marvelous-imagining @mizzzpink @coffeeismylife28 @yknott81 @chameerah @stevette60 @genlovesdcb @loveyourselfcreateyourself @winter-in-wakanda @buckyappreciationsociety @sammysgirl1997 @unicornqueen05 @sexyashmike @magpiemischief @steggy4ever @greeneyedgirls4 @melconnor2007 @iamwarrenspeace @justreadingfics @buckyismyaesthetic @gondorgirl01 @winterbuttmunch

AM I ENOUGH PT 6 Tomorrow

Hey part 6 will be coming out early tomorrow morning. I am finishing proof reading but considering I have to be up in 4 1/2 hours, I need to go to bed. Can't wait for you all to read it!!!

Am I Enough PT 5

Am I Enough PT 5

Bucky X Reader

Warnings: angst and fluff, Tony being well Tony

Summary: The truth is out but will the rest of the team ever find out and how will it change their decision to bring you back?

A/N: So I thought I’d give you a brief but necessary break from the angst to start the chapter off. Sorry about any delay in posting I just want to make sure each chapter makes sense to you guys. Also, I love all the feedback and comments I’ve gotten makes me smile like a goofball even while at work.

“Why haven’t you said anything? You’re just standing there. Do I mean so little to you that you can’t even come up with some excuse? Unless everything I’ve said is true. I was some kind of a novelty to you, something to help build you back up but you didn’t have to really love? If you knew you loved her why drag whatever this is out? Answer me!!! You have a mouth use it. Never mind, I give up alright, that’s what you want I’ll go.”

Y/N POV

Your alarm startled you both awake, jerking up you proceeded to flop around looking for your phone. Finally hitting it you lay back, sighing, with everything that had gone on you had forgotten you had work this morning. Rolling over you push yourself up and head to the bathroom. You can hear Wanda shuffling around. When you exit she is at the stove cooking, you didn’t have much in the way of food so you wander over peering into the pan.

“Whatcha making there Wandaroo?” You slip your hands around her placing your head on her shoulder.

“Well you didn’t really have anything but I made you a breakfast sandwich of sorts.” You raise your eyebrow. How on earth did she manage that? There was toast on the plate with some of your leftover lunch turkey which was now seared off, she proceeded to slide some eggs with melted cheese on to the plate. Flipping the top price of toast on she handed it to you.

“Holy Cow, I should give up men altogether and just date you.” She chuckles and hands you a cup of coffee.

“I don’t know how well Vision would take that?” You nod in agreement. They had such an interesting relationship.

Finishing up you lean over and give her a peck on the cheek. “Well thank you, darling, for the food, but I must be off.”

Wanda chuckles at you and pushed you out the door. “You so dumb, off with you. Let me know when you’re done and we can meet up.”

“Will do.” Walking down the stairs you hear the chatter coming up the stairs. Suddenly your face to face with the guys, well most of them Tony is not present but you can guess where he is.

“As, perfect timing. Would you and Wanda like to join us for breakfast?” Steve asks drawing you into a hug.

“Unfortunately, I have work. These bills aren’t going to pay themselves. Also, the new love of my life has made me the most wonderful breakfast a girl could ask for.” You pull away and greet the other giving each their own tight squeeze while you work your way down the stairs. “Wanda though, I’m sure would be happy to go with you.”

With that, you turn and hop down the remaining steps. You head into work with a little spring in your step. This is the first day that you truly felt like everything was going to be ok. This traveled over into your work and even to your boss. So when your ever eager and meddling friends showed up.

“Oh wow, that’s so cute.”

“You like it let me get it for you.”

Your head whips around the corner. There in the store is was every single one of your friends. Shuffling around looking at everything but also trying not to hit anything. Wanda has picked up a few things and Tony is glancing and making comments on the quality and the “sellability” of the products.

You come out and wave your hands stopping the most movement from them. “What are you doing here?” You try to keep it down so your boss doesn’t come out. “I told you I would meet up with you after work.”

“We got bored and wanted to see this new work location. I must say it’s pretty decent. Good products. Hey Wanda what do you think about this for Pepper?” Tony got distracted looking at something in the jewelry case. “May I see this piece here?” You shuffle behind the case. Pulling out the one he wanted and set it on the top.

“Excellent, now would you recommend a matching necklace for this?” He continued to shop taking you throughout the store. Finally, he was done and you wrapped up his purchases throwing Wanda’s in as well. While your back was turned he began to seduce your boss. By the time you were done, she told you-you could leave early. You sigh no point in arguing now. You rush to the back gathering your things and head out. You practically had to push them out each intrigued by different things in the store.

“Ok now that I’m free who’s hungry?” Some groans of approval went around. The group chatted while wondering for a place to eat. Deciding to take it all to go and enjoy the outdoors you continue your trek to the nearest park.

Dinner was great until by some twist of fate Bucky and yourself came up again. You tensed shooting a glance at Wanda.

“I’m just saying (Y/N), it’s not a bad place to work and live but you have to come back,” Tony says.

“Yeah, this isn’t where you should be.” Steve nods in agreement.

“Guys I’m not staying here forever just a little while so I can heal. I could never leave you guys.” You hang your head. Hopefully, they would let it go. Of course, they didn’t.

“It can’t be all bad what he did. You shouldn’t just give up your life because he broke up with you.” You see Wanda tense, just as you were. Steve was trying to help you knew that but it made you angry. They were friends and he had picked you but it wasn’t that simple.

“It's not something that I can just forgive and forget, Steve.”

“We can work this out, as much as I don’t like Metal Arm we can fix this,” Tony interjected.

“Tony please don’t push it.” Wanda urged. It didn’t work because they both continued.

“What was so bad that you left?”

“I can make it better just tell me what you need.”

They pushed until you snapped shooting up. “Stop!” They both shut up. “Bucky cheated on me alright, he cheated on me with Natasha. Ok?!”

They stared at you mouths open. You passed away and came back. “He left me, told me to get my things and not come back. I just did what he wanted me to do.” Again you walked away running your hands through your hair. So much for a good day. You feel the tears build up again. Letting out a choked sob, you feel a pair of arms come around you pulling you in close. “Thanks, Sam.”

You glance up to see his eyes filled with tears. He forced your head against him. “I didn’t know, we shouldn’t have pushed you.” You hug him back nodding into his chest.

You glance at Tony, his face filled with rage. “I’m going to kill him.”

Bucky POV

He knew something up when he hadn’t heard anything from the team in a few days. Steve was still pretty clingy, he liked to check up on him. So far he hadn’t heard a peep from him in a couple days. He made his way to the kitchen to find Natasha hunched over in a kitchen chair. Her head in her hands. She hadn’t spoken to him since that night. He knew she was torn up.

“Hey, you alright?” He tried to place his hand on her shoulder only to have it rolled off.

“I’m fine.” She muttered.

“Oh ok, have you heard anything from the team. It’s unusual to not hear anything from them by now.”

“They're not on a mission.” She stands up and drifts toward the hallway back to her room.

“What? Where are they then?” He asks following her.

“Can’t you tell? They went to go get her. Did you honestly think they would just let her go like that? She is as much their friend as she is ours? Or was.” She continued down the hall no longer able to look at him. She paused once more. “I can’t do this anymore, Bucky. It was wrong and I think you know this but it was and always will be her that you need. You need to go get her back.” She walks away.

He stares after her. He knows she’s right. Ever since (Y/N) had been gone he had noticed everything he loved about her. The way she would snuggle up in her sleep one foot out because otherwise, it got to warm. Or the way she left her things in random places and then forget. He could always count on it bringing a smile to his face when she huffed around looking for whatever it was only to have him point it out in 3 seconds.

Even with all those things he couldn’t help but think why. Why had he gone and slept with Natalia? She was perfect. In every way and in everything. He didn’t have to rush around with her to find things. Didn’t ever hear her complain about what she should and shouldn’t eat to avoid getting pudgy. She was simple to be around, he didn’t need to think about anything.

He growled in frustration. Why was this happening? It should be easy to pick, it was sound logic to pick Natasha but something was holding him back something told him that it just wasn’t the right choice. He ran his hands through his hair entirely to annoyed with what was happening. With a grunt, he headed off the to the gym. Maybe beating on something would clear his mind.

After 2 hours of beating the sandbag, breaking 3 and the last hanging by a thread, he still was pent-up and frustrated. He began to pace the gym trying to release any bit of the anger or frustration. Finally, he snapped and let out a yell. All the emotion came out, each second granting him a little more clarity than the last moment.

Digging into his pocket he pulled out his phone. Swiping through he found the one name that he never called but maybe just maybe he would be the one to help. Dialing the phone ran just as it was to go to voicemail he picked up.

“Man, you have terrible timing you know that?” The voice said sounding slightly agitated.

“What? Sam I…. I need….. I need your help.” He felt sick just asking but knew that if this was ever going to be right he needed him.

“Well, that might be hard because Tony and the rest just found out what happened and it looks like the only help you’ll need is planning your funeral buddy.”

“Oh, crap!”

@veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @bustanut2k17 @luckynumber1213 @owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @caelestiside @anbrax5553 @fandom-writes @boundtomyfate @annie-are-you-okay @megs4real @marvelous-imagining @mizzzpink @coffeeismylife28 @yknott81 @chameerah @stevette60 @genlovesdcb @loveyourselfcreateyourself @winter-in-wakanda @buckyappreciationsociety @sammysgirl1997 @unicornqueen05 @sexyashmike @magpiemischief @steggy4ever @greeneyedgirls4 @melconnor2007 @iamwarrenspeace @justreadingfics @buckyismyaesthetic @gondorgirl01 @winterbuttmunch

Am I Enough PT 4

Am I Enough PT 4

Bucky X Reader

Summary: Their plan didn’t quite work the way they wanted. The fight that ended it all comes out and details revealed.

Warnings: as always angst, self-doubt, Bucky is a naive jerk.

A/N: So I thought it was time that we knew where this whole debacle started and who Bucky’s partner in passion is. Though you’re all smart cookies and probably figured it out already. Be prepared for the hurt. As always feedback is appreciated!!

“Can you tell me what I did to drive you away? And don’t pull that ‘you have to distance yourself to keep me safe’ crap. It didn’t work before it certainly won’t work now. I know I’m not the best-looking person in the world. Hey, I can even understand why you would look elsewhere. You always did deserve better. I’m just normal, right? You must have realized that normal wasn’t good enough. Just a phase. Easily replaced with someone better. Gah, why? I shouldn’t have fallen, everyone told me it was too good to be true. It felt so good though, so right. Did you ever once feel the same? Or was it nothing but pity? Did my little sob story strike a cord so you dated me to make me feel like the world wasn’t as hopeless as it really is? I get it, alright, people like me don’t ever get the guy.”

Y/N POV

You went to dinner with the team, it was like nothing had ever happened. You laughed and shared stories. Tony, of course, insisted that he pay the bill swinging his card at the star-struck staff. They had been recognized almost instantly, granted they hadn’t really even tried to go incognito. The place had gone out of its way to set up a more private area so you could eat in peace. The occasional die-hard fan coming for an autograph. Overall though, it was like you were home.

You parted ways after dinner, they couldn’t all fit in your apartment. They refused to leave though until you were for sure coming back to them. Sam had a brief talk, explaining where you were at and asking them to respect your decision. They begrudgingly agreed they all understood because they would ask the same for themselves. You grabbed Wanda silently telling to stay but loudly saying “Can’t stay with a bunch of stupid boys”

You both got ready for bed. There was a slight awkwardness to the air, Wanda obviously wanted to ask you about what happened, but at the same time not push you to talk. Once you were both tucked in you let out a sigh, “Go ahead Wanda ask away, I can feel your questions eating at me already.”

“That obvious?” Wanda chuckled. You nod, a slight chuckle leaving you as well. “Ok, I don’t know what to ask first? But what happened? I mean what really happened?”

“Just going to jump right in I see.” You take a deep breath “There’s not much to say, he doesn’t love me anymore at least not as much as I thought. He … I … I caught him cheating on me. I kinda knew deep down that he was slipping away from me but I thought it would get better. I wish he,” your throat was closing up and tears were filling your eyes “I wish he had just broken up with me not just …” You couldn’t keep going. It was too soon, too fresh.

“Stop,” Wanda begged to pull you into her and stroking your head. “Stop defending him, he had no right to do what he did. He was a coward for doing it.”

“I know, but I can’t help feeling that I deserved it. I must have done something wrong and pushed him over the edge. I mean look at her and look at me it’s no competition who he would pick.”

“Who? No one knows who it was. How did you find out?” Wanda shook her head. She was confused, they knew it was Bucky that cheated but who the woman was. There were rumors of course, but no one quite knew the full story.

You were pulled back to that day all too easily. The team had just gotten back from a week-long mission just the night before. Bucky had told you not to come that night as they would be getting back late. So after reluctantly agreeing you decided to head there in the morning to make him and the team a surprise breakfast.

You got everything you needed for a giant pancake feast. From bacon to juice you had it all. After setting the table up you asked FRIDAY to send everyone down. They slowly trickled in one by one, for the most part, they had all made it in. You decided to wake up Bucky and bring him down. He was never a morning person so he was probably still snoring away, you creep up to the door. You turn the knob carefully and push the door not making a noise. What you are met with is a very awake Bucky, he was supported on his elbows, butt naked, and lips locked with the woman beneath him.

You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. You waited to hope that you would wake up. They flip over changing positions. All you take in is the color at first, that striking fire color. From there you took in every curve, every slope, the perfect figure, but it was mostly how perfectly they seemed to fit together. Each movement seemed to blend and seemed so in sync with each other. It wasn’t till they started whispering sweet nothings that you felt anything. The names tore into you, each one a little dagger that ripped your heart out. Just as they finished together, you must have made a noise because both their heads whipped around to face you.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t…. I… surprise… never…. never mind.” You back away, trying to wipe the whole scene away. You drop your eyes to the floor not wanting to see it. There’s a buzz in your ear growing louder with each passing second. Bolting out of the room, you stumble back into the living room. There are no tears just shock, on your face, the others look up to see you.

“Hey what’s the matter?” Steve asks rising slightly. You straighten, you couldn’t tell then it was too embarrassing and it might hurt the dynamic. You should have seen this coming, for all you knew everyone already knew and was waiting for you to catch on. You shake your head trying to clear it.

“Nothing just saw something I don’t want to see again.” You start packing your things intent on getting out.

“What about Bucky?”

“He’ll be right down. I gotta go. To work, yeah to work.” You shove a few more things in your bag, before swinging it onto your back. The sound of pounding feet coming down the hallway made you hurry. You didn’t make it, Bucky swung around the corner.

“(Y/N), please wait let me explain. Stop please.” He begged to grab your elbow. You turn to look at him, looking over toward the group to see the stares. You nod and pull him away, leading him to a spare room.

You remember the fight but it was mostly the silence from his end, he didn’t say anything after trying to explain. He loved her, there was a connection that he didn’t get with you. Of course, he did, any guy would have it and from what you had seen it was true. You should have seen it, in what far-out world did you ever think that this ended with your happy ending.

It was nothing but tears and a raised voice from you, saying anything and doubting everything in your relationship. He just looked away, never trying to stop you. He never once told you-you were wrong, that what you had was special. No, it was all a lie a wonderful, blissful lie. When you were done he simply stood up and told you to be gone, that he didn’t want anything to do with you. He was revoking your rights to the tower after your stuff was gone. Lucky for you he had said that they were leaving on another mission in a couple days.

You stumbled out and headed for the back stairs, not wanting to see anyone. Two days later you packed your stuff and left.

Wanda looked down at you, “Nat…Nat slept with Bucky?” You nod confirming. “But you guys were like best friends, the three of you attached at the hip.” She couldn’t believe it. Natasha wouldn’t do that, not to you and not with him. You two had bonded so well. You were almost sister, if there was shopping to be done you could be seen attached at the hip heading out the door together.

“Yes, but he loves her so why wouldn’t he. I mean they have a ‘connection’, a past together, why wouldn’t he love her.” You could feel the tears working back up choking you. “I thought for once, I could be enough for someone. I know I’m not gorgeous or even pretty, but he” you taking a shuddering breath in. “He told me he loved how normal I am, that I brought him peace. That I made him believe he could have a future one day. I guess I thought it would be our future together. That I wasn’t some placeholder to fill up the time.” You could barely breathe, you broke again.

It was the first time you had spoken about what happened. You hadn’t just lost a boyfriend, you lost one of your best friends. It tore your heart even further apart, you weren’t sure there was much left at this point. Let alone if you could ever put it back together again, but maybe it was better this way. You could stop getting your hopes up and save yourself some tears.

You clutch onto Wanda in some desperate hope that she could hold you together while you were crumbling apart.

Bucky POV

He looked down at her while she slept curled away from him. Her eyes were still rimmed in red and a small sniffle escaping between the murmurs. Nat had come in crying, he had been reading on the bed and to see this strong woman out of character he immediately rose taking her in his arms. She had cried, great sobs that wracked her body. When they had finally calmed he led her to the bed stroking her back gently.

“I can’t do this. I shouldn’t have done this to her. She was my best friend.” She sniffles tears beginning again. “How could I?”

Bucky held her thinking about what she was saying. He hadn’t thought about Natasha in this whole situation. He had started to really notice her while (Y/N) and she was hanging out. Bucky had practically been the third wheel on those adventures.

It came as a shock to him how close the group of them had gotten. The three had enjoyed movies and New York food adventures that took them to the best and shadiest parts of New York. Through it all, they became friends seeing each other weaknesses and strengths. As he had learned about (Y/N) he had gotten to better understand Natasha.

It had started with lingering gazes while (Y/N) was grabbing something or had her back turned. It turned to touches that trailed up and down arms and legs, making it seem like a mere accident but prolonging it as much as possible.

The first kiss happened after movie night, they had been trading looks over (Y/N) shoulder as she nestled into Bucky’s side. His fingers running through her hair sent her to sleep about half way through the movie. As they started up the next she had awakened and shuffled her way back to the room with promises that Bucky would be there shortly.

Natasha had scooted closer and as she entered his reach, his arms wrapping around her pulling her closer. Their eyes clicked and suddenly they lurched toward each other lips tangling together in the heat of the moment. As they separated, they were panting staring at each other debating if this was a good idea or would ruin everything.

It had grown from there each stealing moments from the other in till that fateful day. It had been a late mission and having successfully diverting you from coming to see him, he spent the night with Natasha in his arms. That morning he had woken up to her stretching on top of him. It had been so heated he missed the door opening and (Y/N) stepping in.

It was a strangled gasp that grabbed both of them whipping their heads around. When they looked at the door the dread that built was spiked when he saw (Y/N) standing there. He hadn’t seen a more broken-hearted look on someone’s face since he had been the Solider. She had tears gathered in her eyes and but it was the emotion he found there that made him start to regret all his decisions with Natasha. As soon as she bolted he got up looking for clothes before chasing her.

He prayed (Y/N) hadn’t left yet. He needs to tell her what happened. Why he did what he did. But it was mostly to get that look off her face. How could he be the one to put that look there, after all the late night talks they had about her looks and her insecurities about never being good enough for him. He went and did the one thing that would make all of that seem true. Even when he knew better than anyone that they weren’t.

He caught her in the kitchen, not seeing anything else he grabbed her elbow pulling her back, begging her not to leave. He dragged him to another room before she turned on him. “(Y/N), please let me explain.” He was pleading, no begging her to listen. He needed to make it right. He explained it to her everything he felt. He was finally open about how he felt about Natasha. When he looked up what he got was even worse than before. There was an understanding look but it was so twisted. It had anger and sadness but most of all it was defeat. He stepped forward, it was obvious he hadn’t explained enough to make her understand. She raised her hands to block him from moving any farther.

“You love her, and you love me but you don’t love me as much as you love her. Right? So why didn’t you just break it off then? You promised you would stay with me. That nothing on Earth could stop you from breaking that promise. What did I Do?”

He looked down. He didn’t know what to say but with each word she spoke a dagger could be felt digging into him. She continued on questioning and berating him. Wondering where she went wrong, how she had managed to screw up so bad that he sought another. She kept going never once letting him explain. So he got angry, she had the whole thing figured out, did she? He couldn’t stand the looks anymore, he was trying to make it right. Natasha was the better choice, wasn’t she?

When she fell silent he tensed waiting for a moment to see if she had more to say. “Are you done?” She nodded. “Good then get out I don’t want to see you again, all you junk needs to be gone when I get back from this mission understand. As for your Tower privileges as soon as you leave consider them revoked.”

He couldn’t stop himself, there was this burning in his gut. It was eating at him nagging his every move and it wouldn’t go away. She simply nodded and left. He turned, a small part waiting for her to come back so he could apologize for his words his tone. Instead, he left and went back to the kitchen to pretend that he hadn’t just lost his best friend.

He focused back on Nat sleeping, that feeling hadn’t gone away yet. He had to fix this. Nat had been right how could they? He turned away from her a settled into his own restless dreams, ones of tears and a broken-hearted girl.

@veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @bustanut2k17 @luckynumber1213 @owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @caelestiside @anbrax5553 @fandom-writes @boundtomyfate @annie-are-you-okay @megs4real @marvelous-imagining @mizzzpink @coffeeismylife28 @yknott81 @chameerah @stevette60 @genlovesdcb @loveyourselfcreateyourself @winter-in-wakanda @buckyappreciationsociety @sammysgirl1997 @unicornqueen05 @sexyashmike @magpiemischief @steggy4ever

Am I Enough PT 3

Bucky X Reader

Summary: Bucky has hurt you, so you run away. Seeing no other option but the team can’t just give you up. It’s time for an intervention.

Warnings: angst but now fluff

A/N: Apologizes for the long wait. I was lacking words and didn’t want the story to fall flat. We finally get a back from the angst. Some fluff for you. Enjoy!

“Who knew? Did anyone know about this? Or did everyone know and just not say anything? No, they would have told me. I don’t understand, any of this. I love you and you still did all of it. No one forced you to do it, did my love mean so little to you that… No I don’t care it’s been done and from the looks of it, it’s been done many, many times. So why couldn’t you just end it either me or her. Did you really think you would get away with it? Be able to be with  both of us until you figured out which one you wanted the most?“ 

BUCKY POV

The team had been whispering to each other, making plans, when Bucky entered a room they hush up and send him glares. Not that he could blame them, he had screwed up. In fact he wasn’t sure how he could fix it. They had left this morning stating they had mission to go on, but he wasn’t allowed to come. He watched them leave turning back to the now near empty living quarters. 

He had taken Sam’s advice seriously, and from what he could see, was only (Y/N). Every place he sat and went was a memory of them or her. The bench in the park as he went on his run. She had been sitting there when he had gotten distracted and tripped landing face first in front of her. He remembered the snort that came out of her mouth quickly followed by her hand covering her mouth, before she quickly got up and offered him a hand up. He got pulled into the memory of their first meeting.

“Sir, are you alright?” She offered her hand to him, pulling him up. He brushed himself off. “Oh dear you’ve scrapped your knees let me find you a bandaid." 

While she turned he took her in, she wasn’t anything special to look at. Her (Y/H/C) hair fell in her face as she scrounged through her bag looking. From the brief glimpse as she pulled him up, her eyes were a nice shade of (Y/E/C). She was dressed causally nothing too fitted but not baggy, she looked comfy. 

 She started to pull things out of her bag still digging. Finally pulling out a bag she forced him to sit. Insisting she help him. If only she knew who she was talking to, a freaking soldier, and assassin that had always had to fix himself up. You had him patched and quickly packed you bag. Scurrung away from him, only leaving him with a view of your backpack. 

That darn bag it was almost attached to her, he remembered. The bag would change from time to time but you were seldom without it. She always said "You never know when you’re going to need something." 

More times than not she had something to help everyone. Tissues, wipes, and even a few games for when they got stuck somewhere. The team had quickly started to rely on her for the things you needed. (Y/N) became an essential for all Avenger outings, he recounted the many ways she worked to become each person’s friend. Creating something unique for each one, something that was strictly between the two. 

Bucky had tried to keep her a secret at first not really wanting to share his new friend with the team. She was something so normal and yet so perfect, the way she handled the things he told her, to treating him like everyone else. He was just another person, another friend she could have. 

So where had he got wrong where had he messed up and thought he could use you like he did? 

(Y/N) POV

You stretched, sore from sleeping in a slightly awkward position. Suddenly you felt arms around you tightening from you stirring. You crack your eyes open, heavy from the crying and itchy from dryness, your gaze is met by Steve. 

"Hey you’re awake." 

You nod moving to sit up. It’s then that there is a subtle noise filling your apartment. Turning your head you are met with the team stuffed in your room. Sam is even half in the bathroom to make room. You widen your eyes trying to take them in. You turn back to Steve checking that what you really see is true and not just a figment. Though from how each is behaving they are without a doubt real. 

They turn to look at you taking you in. "Not that I didn’t miss you guys but what are you all doing in my house?" 

"We’re on a mission!” Tony states stepping forward. 

“Huh, what kind of mission?” You ask, you didn’t think there was a Hydra base around here, but wouldn’t put it past them. 

“A really important mission. We are calling it Operation: Get (Y/N) Back and Beat Barnes Up For What He Did.” He states proudly. The rest if the team is shaking their heads obviously they hadn’t agreed to the name or all the details in the plan. 

You really had nothing to say to that. You couldn’t help but feel joy at the fact that they had come to get you, choosing you over Bucky. Steve presses on your shoulder turning your attention back to him. 

“Excluding what Tony said, you are our friend and we are here to help you. I know Bucky hurt you, I’m not condoning any of his actions but you didn’t have to leave like you did. Do you know how worried we were to suddenly find you had disappeared? You took all your things and left. I get you didn’t want to stay but you could’ve at least told us you were going.” He has put on his Captain America voice and firmly holding you so you don’t look away. By the end all you can do is nod, no you shouldn’t have done it. But there was a part of you that was glad you did. 

Tony claps his hands, drawing attention once again to himself. “Now that that’s all settled let’s get you packed up and back to New York.” The team starts to move, collecting items near them. 

“Whoa,” you stand holding up your hands to cease all further movement. “Who said I was going anywhere, I happen to have a two month lease and right now I don’t really feel like going back to New York. This is where I live now." 

They stare at you like you had grown a third head, "But the operation, we came to get you.” Tony says swinging his hands to indicate the team. 

“I know and I’m glad you did but,” you hold up you’re hand to stop Tony from speaking, “What he did to me doesn’t go away that quickly. He meant everything to me every single spot in Manhattan, heck all of New York City reminds me of him. I can’t just go back, let alone see him." 

Sam comes forward now, making Tony back up. "We aren’t asking for you to forgive him, we just hate to see you separate yourself and give up your life because of what he did.” He can see you getting agitated shaking your head. You couldn’t go back not yet. “(Y/N) let’s take a walk. Alright? It’s getting a little crowded and warm in here.”

You nod, taking the hand he has offered you. You head out walking to a park. You come to a bench sit down, Sam next to you. Quiet settles over the two of you, until you remember first meeting Bucky. 

“You know,” Sam perks up leaning toward you slightly. “Bucky and I first met in a park like this. I was sitting on a bench, I had a random day off and decided to take in a little nature. So there I am reading when he comes and trips over himself landing right in front of me. You should have seen him, faceplant right there, so of course I laughed. I felt bad and had to cover it up. When I pulled him up, man, the sun hit his eyes just right and it took my breath away." 

You got drawn into the memory, but continue to speak, forgetting for a moment everything that has happened since. 

"He was handsome, drop dead gorgeous, and I remember thinking that this must be some sort of prank because this doesn’t happen to girls like me. It happens in the movies or to the pretty girls. I had to look down, didn’t want to get caught up in something that could never happen. Huh, I should have kept to that thinking shouldn’t I?” She chuckled to herself before continuing. “I noticed he was bleeding so I went to my bag for bandaids. As luck would have it I couldn’t find them. So there I was embarrassing myself with this gorgeous man because I couldn’t find a stupid box of bandaids.

Sam laughs at this, this was so different from the way Bucky told the story. From his account you had saved his life single handedly with that bag of your. 

"I finally found them, had to make him sit down before I could put them on. He was stubborn wanted to do it himself. He didn’t quite know that I’m just as stubborn as he is. After I fixed him up I patted his leg and told him all good to go. It was then I realized I had put on princess bandaids. Man, if a person could die of embarrassment I would have then. I packed my bag up and scurried away before he noticed." 

Sam is laughing, your version was so much better than Bucky’s. He remembered that day, heck he was the one that pointed them out. He had complimented him on his taste in first aid bandages. He had just looked down saying someone had helped him. He went on to wear them for the rest of the day not caring about any other comments. 

You grew quite after your heart clenching painfully as you see how far you had come. This time it was Sam that broke the air. "I can’t possibly understand what you’re going through, but I’m here to help. I need you to believe that and to let me. Bucky wasn’t right in any fashion for what he did. Everyone knows that, but the reason they came here is because they didn’t want to lose you. They have lost so much, after knowing you and you becoming a friend to each of us, we aren’t going to just give you up. We are going to fight to make this right. You belong back with us. If you need time they will respect that, they may not agree but they will understand why.” He looks at you gauging your reaction to his words before continuing. 

“When you left it felt like we had lost someone all over again. That is hard, especially when in the business we are in one of may not come back. It is almost an unspoken rule to not get attached to anything or anyone outside of what we do. But you were an exception. You didn’t really give us an option for it either. I can’t count the number of times you have been there for me personally. Every hard mission, every life event you were a phone call or less away. I can’t thank you enough. I won’t lose that with you. I want … no need you to come back. I am though willing to wait for you because you mean that much to me." 

He leans over taking you into his arms, you realize that your crying. When you had left you hadn’t thought about how it would effect your friends. You needed them just as much as they needed you. You really didn’t have as close as friends as them anywhere else. 

"I’m sorry.” You sob to him clinging to his form. 

“Hey none of that you cry I’m going to cry. You don’t want to see me cry.” He rubs your back, gently shushing you. You relax in his grip as the tears slow but you don’t let go, not yet. You needed his comfort and his understanding. 

Time passes and you separate taking a deep breath. You look at him seeing his smile and triggering one of your own. 

“There’s my girl. Now let’s get you home and kick all these people out and grab some grub.” You chuckle and nod in agreement. 

Heading back to your apartment with Sam beside you, arm wrapped over your shoulder you knew you would be OK it would just take time. The best part was though was the friends you would have beside you. 

@veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @bustanut2k17 @luckynumber1213 @owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @caelestiside @anbrax5553 @fandom-writes @boundtomyfate @annie-are-you-okay @megs4real @marvelous-imagining @mizzzpink @coffeeismylife28 @yknott81 @chameerah @stevette60 @genlovesdcb @loveyourselfcreateyourself @winter-in-wakanda @buckyappreciationsociety

I'll be Here Epilogue

Steve X Reader

Summary: The end how did Steve and you end up what will happen now?!

A/N: Thank you all for reading my very first series. I hope you all enjoyed it.

Warnings: Fluff nothing but Fluff now

@veronicalei

2 Months Later

The past months had been hard, the treatment had worked but it had taken time to reverse the damage. You had been seizure free now for 2 weeks. All signs that you had under gone any torture remaind in lost weight, which if you were being honest wasn’t bad at all you looked good a few pounds down. The only other difference left was lack of strength, running was a big no no and sometimes long walks. Each day though, Steve and yourself would make a point to make it further in the jungle gardens of Wakanda. You began to mark how far you had gotten and every day you passed it you would shout in joy and mark the point. Steve would pick you up and carry you back to your room or the nearest bench.

Now though was your first real dare with Steve. He had stuck by your side through everything. With that being said you had both agreed to wait until you were better. This didn’t stop you from having movie nights and dinner together. You had gotten to know each other so much better and if either of you had any doubts you didn’t any more. Like to puzzle piece you locked together mixing perfectly. Being confined you still had your moments of arguing but you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Wanda was helping you dress for tonight pinning your hair into something suitable and cute. Your makeup was natural nothing to extravagant. Your dress was a little play on a 20s dress in your favorite color. With kitty heals on you twist and turn, making sure every crease and angle looked good. Without a flaw in sight you turn to Wanda who raises her hands up in a pair of thumbs up.

“You look gorgeous, going to make that old man have a heart attack just looking at you.” She gushes at you.

You blush, “Thank you Wanada, for everything I couldn’t have done it without you.” You two had grown close in your hiding out, when Steve had been busy she had stated and helped you with physical therapy. Urging and cheering you on every step of the way. Of course she had helped you pick out tonight’s outfit carefully picking out picture after picture until you both decide on the dress. You were close before the fallout but now you considered her your sister.

A knock sounds on the door, you freeze suddenly nervous. Your eyes lock on to Wanada who gives you a reassuring smile and turns you to face the door pushing you towards it. Opening the door you are greeted by Steve looking down at a bouquet of (Y/F/F). You smile he looks so nervous, a small giggle escapes and his head jerks up locking eyes with you.

“He… Hey, how are you?” He stutters clearing his throat.

“I’m good, how are you?” You keep smiling it’s nice to see him so nervous like this it’s cute.

“I’m… I’m good, thes.. these are for you!” He jerks the flowers out to you placing them in your hands while blushing like a school girl. You start to laugh, bending over slightly.

“Steve its just me, relax a little bit.” You grab his shoulder shaking him slightly. “Thank you for the flowers, I can’t believe you found them here.”

“I may have a connection or two.” He admits. He keeps getting redder, your laugh is sending butterflies through his stomach making him even more nervous. You turn around handing the flowers to Wanda to put in water. Turning back you hold your arm out for him to take.

“Where to soldier, I’m ready for whatever.”

“Well ma'am I hope you are. I have many things planned if you are up to it. I thought we could work out appetites up by taking a stroll first, then dinner.” He gains courage as he plays along finally ready to take you out. Hooking arms with a nod of your head, you head out.

The weather has cooled slightly this evening making it a perfect evening to stroll. You keep passing all your markers, each one bring a memory back and you chat the whole way. Finally you reach a little alcove with a long wooden table set up candles all around and soft music playing in the back ground. You squeeze his arm getting excited, at the dinner to come. When you reach the table you notice that there are multiple place settings and there is way more food than just two people can eat even if one is a super solider. You glance up at Steve with a confused look on your face one eyebrow raised demanding an explanation.

Steve is chuckling at your expressions, without a word he turns you around. There behind you in the path you had just come from is the team. Not just Steve’s side but everyone. Tony with a smug grin, Natasha with her knowing look, all of them. You burst into tears and run towards them, you practically tackle Tony to get your arms around him. He chuckles pulling you in close.

“I thought you said she was getting better but still weak. That was a full on linebackers tackle. How could you Steve?” The team laughs. You are passed between them all each getting a hug as tight as you can manage. After finally releasing Vision you step back and swing to face Steve.

“What is this I thought this was a date? What are they all doing here?”

Steve rubs the back of his neck, “It is a date with a family break in the middle.” You smile had to be the best care ever.

“Excuse me love birds, I don’t know about you but after a 10 hour flight I am famished.” Natasha interrupts, festering to the table. With another laugh you all sit down and share a meal. Through out the night you would pause and just watch everyone interact with each other. People that had been enemies just months ago sharing conversation and even laughing.

A special moment came when Tony and Bucky shook hands and shared a laugh over Steve’s radical behavior on missions. You sigh in contentment, you realize everything is going to be alright. Yeah the team hit some bumps but without a doubt they would come back and they would come back even stronger.

Steve grabs your hand under the table stroking his thumb once again along your knuckles. It had become a habit of his, you think it was mostly to reassure himself that you were still here. You two share a look and as quietly as you can extract yourselves from the table. The others have noticed but don’t say anything after all the two of you were on a date.

You continue on your stroll until you come to an opening in the path that shows the stars above you. You hadn’t realized how dark it had gotten until just then. You stare up in wonder trying to take them all in. Steve in the other hand us looking at you, he didn’t need to look up to see the stars because he could find them right here in your eyes.

“I can feel you staring.” You say not taking your eyes off the sky.

“Oh good now I don’t have to pretend to not be. I like looking at you. More beautiful than all the stars up there.” You blush as he says this. Of course he sees this, he wraps his arms around you pulling you into him. Now you are both staring into each other’s eyes.

“Thank you for this evening, it was the most perfect date anyone could have ever given me.”

“I would do this for you a thousand times over, if I got to see all those expressions I saw today with you.” You hold each other in comfortable silence letting the night drift away. Finally Steve breaks it by asking “if you don’t mind would you tell me what you mean when you say, ‘I’ll be here’?”

You chuckle to yourself, “Well it used to mean something different, but now it means that whenever you need me I’ll be her to help you. No matter what it is or how bad it may seem, nothing will ever change. I’ll be right here for you.”

He has no words for this, he looks into your face and the only thing he can think of he does. Cupping your jaw he tilts you head up to him, leaning down he presses his lips to yours putting everything he is into this kiss. You melt into him accepting everything that he is giving you. With a final press you separate. Leaning his head on yours, you start your future together with a “I’ll be here.”

Am I Enough PT 2

Bucky X Reader 

Summary: An unexpected turn in your relationship with Bucky sends you on a journey that will hopefully find you back home one day.

Warnings: angst 

A/N: Hello everyone, I just wanted to start out with how thrilled and honored I was to have all of you read my new story. I am still getting the jitters from it all. Sorry, it took so long but here it is. This chapter is more of a stage-setter for what is to come and no bucky we catch up with where the reader is now.  

“When did this start between you two? How long has it been? Did it gradually come to be or did it just hit you one day? I asked if you had ever thought about the others, in an I-could-possibly-date way. Wait, was that when it all began? You actually thought about it and realized she would be better for you. I shouldn’t have asked, I mean I was so happy that you chose me over them but I brought this on myself didn’t I?“ 

“Can’t you just tell me? Answer me, Dang It! Do I now mean so little you can’t even give me a proper answer? I love you with everything I have in me, but that’s not enough for you is it? I wanted to believe that this would last forever but….“ 

Two weeks that’s how long it had been since you left. The road had taken you out through several states till you stopped at a quaint town. Big enough that you could get confused but small enough for people to know almost everyone and of all things it was called Normal, Illinois, because heavens knew you could use all the normal you could get. You managed to snag a place to stay at least for now and a job as well. Lucky for you the college had just gotten out so you found a room to rent for the next 2 months before school came back. 

It’s funny how in the movies people can just up and run away from their previous lives but not for you. The one plus side was that You could avoid all other text and calls from the team. It also kept your mind off if him. You spent part of your car ride on the phone with your boss telling, well lying that you had a family emergency that would take you away for a while. Luck struck again as she gave you the two months you asked for. The only problem now was your apartment. You couldn’t afford 2 rents. The rent in normal was about half it was in New York but still. This had taken quite a few more phone calls until you found a few friends that wanted to rent it out for a couple weeks at a time. It would be risky especially if they canceled but you had a smidge of faith left that it would work out. 

Now that you were at least for the foreseeable future to remain here, you focus on your new job, mostly because the other option is soul-sucking grief. It was a standard retail job in Uptown Normal, a little boutique that sold nic-nacs. It got you through the day and you made money. You threw yourself into it taking extra shifts and doing whatever necessary for the job. Anything to keep you from going home at night. 

The problem now was the nights, with nothing to occupy your thoughts, no tv or computer, you focused on what had happened. You had thought maybe the whole thing was a misunderstanding that Bucky would chase after you and explain. As each day went by your hope faded piece by piece. You weren’t hiding you still used your credit cards, your driver's license, he could find you, anyone could find you. But no one came, you must have been right in everything you said. You would have at least expected one of the others, Steve or Tony, at least, but you guess that was too good to be the friendship as well. How did this happen you had always prided yourself on being a decent judge in character, but apparently not the people you were those closest to you. 

It turns out it was good you left. You would feel bad forever forcing yourself onto others. When you thought this there was a knock on the door. Your head jerked up, zeroing in on the door, you weren’t expecting anyone. Maybe it was a simple case of wrong door. Again the knock, but this time it was followed up with, ”(Y/N), I know you’re in there please just open up.“ 

Gah, it was Steve. You start to have a mixture of feelings the first was surprised, he had come to get you. You were great friends so why not but you would have thought he would stay with Bucky, support him at this time. This led to sadness, tears pricking your eyes because Bucky couldn’t even come himself, he must have sent Steve. Which then provoked anger, that stupid pompous man couldn’t even take the time to come find you and fix things himself. When that thought hit you, grief ran through you wrapping its way through, making your limbs heavy and your breathing shallow. 

That was it Steve had come to say that Bucky didn’t want you back that you could stay right where you were. Far away from him, he didn’t need some has been hanging around his new girl. Once more the knocking began, "I’m coming in we need to talk." 

With that, he quickly dismantled the lock and stepped in. You stare at him while he approaches, but as he gets closer you get scared you didn’t want to hear it. No, you could move on right now, you could pretend this whole thing never happened. You scoot away from him whimpering slightly and shaking your head. 

"Whoa hey, I just want to talk.” He raises his hands, halting all forward movement. 

“No,” you shudder out, your voice weak. “I know what you want to say and I don’t want to hear it. I get it he doesn’t want me. I’ll stay away I promise.” At this point, your voice has broken and tears run down your face. You keep shaking your head keeping Steve at bay. 

Steve heart breaks, even more, his friend has done a real number on this girl. You were still huddled against the wall but now you had your hands over your ears, refusing anything he had to say. He sighed, kneeling down before you and wrapping his arms around you pulling you to his chest. For a moment, you resisted pushing against him, didn’t work very well as he continued to hold you in place. 

Finally, you fell into him allowing his comfort, you start to cry, sobs that wrenched through your body. For you, it was finally accepting everything that had happened to you. Taking in every feeling that you had held back through this whole thing. All this time you had refused to accept them, that everything that was happening you deserved, so you didn’t have the right to feel emotional about it. You were though, sad, angry the basic but fierce emotions held you. All you could do was cry while Steve held you. 

Eventually, the tears took their toll rendering you exhausted and quickly sliding into sleep. Steve felt you go limp against him. Glancing down he took in the tracks from the tears on your face, carefully wiping a few more away. He couldn’t even imagine what you were going through, he knew in some sense, had seen and talked with you, about how much Bucky had meant. You had discussed hopes and dreams, what the future would look like and how much Bucky had changed you for the better. To have all that taken away would make anyone’s heart shatter. He still didn’t fully understand what would make Bucky do this to you. 

You shiver slightly more from the lingering fear than the cold. He finally took in the apartment while looking for a blanket to wrap you in. It was sparse, to say the least, you hadn’t taken much with you when you left. A small studio, no bed, no dresser just an open suitcase with your clothes spilling out of it. In your haste, you hadn’t taken what you needed just enough to escape. From the info they had gathered they learned about your new situation and from what they could see you didn’t plan on coming back to New York anytime soon. 

He scoops your legs up draping you over him, but still firmly in his grasp. He pulls the blanket from your small blowup bed and wraps you in it. Looking down once more, he knows you intend to stay but not if the team and he have anything to do with it.

Lifting his hand up he whispers, “Guys, we have things to do. Let’s get started." 

@veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @bustanut2k17 @luckynumber1213 @owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @caelestiside @anbrax5553 @fandom-writes @boundtomyfate @annie-are-you-okay @megs4real @marvelous-imagining @mizzzpink @coffeeismylife28 @yknott81 @chameerah @stevette60

I'll Be Here Part 3

Steve X Reader

Summary: after successfully being rescued. You head towards Wakanda. There the doctors work to cure you of all Dr. Keigal’s evil doings. Also maybe finally get the guy.

A/N: So here is part 3 sorry it took so long didn’t quite know how to finish this off. Though if anyone is interested I am willing to do an epilogue for this.

The quinjet finally lands in Wakanda of all places, turns out T'Challa has offered you a place to lay low while this all blows over. Though there is no guarantee that any of this will ever work out in your favor. The rear hatch drops and a team of medical personnel come swarming in. If you hadn’t been asleep you would have been overwhelmed by all the hands reaching for you. Luckily you had Steve to accomplish that for you. He tenses shifting back as far as he can, squeezing you tighter to his chest.

“Whoa, easy there Captain they're just trying to help.” Sam is ushering a few of them back, letting Steve have space and giving him the decision on what happens next.

“They are only trying to help Steve,” T'Challa says still sensing the hesitation in him. “I have personally selected each person for her, she will only get the best care.”

Steve nods at this and carefully places you on the gurney. “Don’t strap her down you’ll only scare her more.”

With that, you are whisked out, the team shouting stats out to each other to be taken down. The rest follow behind a little slower knowing that they could no longer do anything to help you now. Steve quickly heads to his room to change leaving the rest awkwardly with T'Challa, wondering exactly what was going to happen now.

“So cat man, thanks for taking us in I guess,” Sam says glancing his way.

“The least I could do considering I helped put you in this situation”

“Think nothing of it just doing what you thought was right, can’t hold that against you when we are pretty much doing the same thing.”

“Well consider this your home now, I have set up a Villa on the outer edge of the palace for you and your friends to use. You are free to roam and merely ask for anything and if possible it will be provided. Kalal will guide you so you can settle in also if you would provide her with basic measurements we can get a wardrobe started for you.”

Woah, never had one of these before. That’s quite dandy. I could get used to this!“ Scott says in awe of all that’s happening.

The group heads out when Clint turns back "Hey where can we find (Y/N) after we are done?”

“Kalal will guide you to her when you are ready.” With that, he turned away and headed toward the largest of buildings on the ground.

Steve moved with a speed he really didn’t know he possessed, eager to get back to you as soon as he could. When he entered the hospital wing he was directed to the ICU, as he grew closer he heard shouting from within. He does up even more running till he found you the doctors were trying to hold you down but without touching you as again you were admitting a grey fog.

You had woken to an unfamiliar room surrounded by people. You tried to scoot away from them, making yourself as small as possible. You start whimpering and creating a hallucinating fog to keep the strangers at bay. This was the first time in awhile you had been able to do it, but it quickly faded as your strength drained. Suddenly you felt a pair of strong arms collect you and your enveloped in warmth and placed against a firm chest. You still and open your eyes glancing into those familiar blue eyes you loved the most.

“Steve,” you sign melting further into him.

“I got you. It’s all ok, these people are here to help you.” You're shaking your head hard, not again the last doctor that “helped” you had made you like this.

“Please, no. I don’t want to don’t make me.” You are begging him, tears falling down your cheek.

“Ok, alright. I got you. I won’t let them do anything to harm, sweetheart I promise.” He squeezes you tight. Making eye contact with the doctor he signals him to drug you. “Close your eyes, you need to rest, I need you all better.”

You nod slowly your eyes already drifting shut, half from the command Steve gave you, the other from the medicine now coursing through your veins. He carefully lays you back on the bed but continues to hold your hand, stroking the back with his thumb. The doctors get to work drawing blood samples and hooking you up to a few different machines again, each had its own annoying beeping sound. They flat out told Steve to stay put, in case you woke up again. For the next few hours, they ran tests and scans trying to figure out what Dr. Keigal had done and how to reverse it. You had another seizure after a while, and again Steve panicked calling for the doctors while holding you as still as he could. They swarmed around getting readings and more samples before injecting another sedative into you.

As you stilled Steve wiped tears away from his eyes. He couldn’t believe this was happening to you. You had never done anything wrong, yeah you were a feisty one but it was always in defense of your family. Even Tony had been rebuked by your statements when confronting Ross. It was probably one of the main reasons Tony had reached out to Steve to make it alright with you. Steve had seen all this and admitted to himself that you were more than special to him. He was going to prove it to you when you got better. Even when he kissed Sharon it didn’t feel right. If anything it felt like a past he wanted to let go of. Yeah he had missed his chance with Peggy but a Carter wasn’t the answer, maybe you were.

When your eyes begin to open you so nothing but shadows and muffled noises could be heard. Your hand twitches causing the hand holding it to tighten. “(Y/N)?” You turn your head towards the sound. Steve is grasping your hand in his. “Hey, how you feel?” You try to speak but not much comes out, merely a faint squeak and some air. You lift your hand a little and flutter it horizontally signaling so-so.

You are taking stock of your self and surprisingly you don’t feel all that bad. Your whole body is one big ache but there is no shooting pain no tremors. You get a confused look on your face while you focus on yourself.

“Ha, surprised turned out all we needed was to reintroduce the poisons back into your system. What is a poison for others is a cure for you? Just have to be different, don’t you? The doctors say you’ll make a full recovery no seizures or anything of the sort.” Steve sounds so excited and thrilled that you’re going to get all better. You send him a small smile glad to see his smile once more, it had been a long time since you last saw it. Rolling your head you see the rest team from Steve’s side of the dispute. They all smile at you.

“Trying to give us a scare are you?” Sam questions you with a raised eyebrow, you shake your head. “Don’t do that again you hear?”

The teams laugh and the conversation continues on. You glance back at Steve watching as he takes in his friend’s lighter mood. He seems so much more at peace no than before. The door swings open to reveal T'Challa.

“I see our esteemed guest has awakened I hope everything is going well and suitable to your tastes?” Everyone nods in agreement even you. “Welcome to Wakanda, Miss (Y/N). The doctors were just saying that as long as nothing happens tonight you will be free to join your friends in the villa tomorrow.” Cheers pass through the roo. Even you get excited about shifting in your bed. “For now though, if you would like, the doctor said a nice stroll outside will do you good. Maybe the Captain can take you?”

You nod your head quickly you want to feel the wind on your face again. See the sun and take in fresh air from the outdoors. Steve calls for a wheelchair and places you gently in, he even straps you in though you attempt to swat his hands away from you. He merely cocks his brows and you give in, he had to do this for his own piece of mind. You part ways with the team with promises of meeting tomorrow back at the villa.

As soon as the outer doors open you can feel the wind blowing in your face. A smile that practically cracks your face, comes on. You take deep breaths filling your lungs with as much fresh air as you can. You mean your head back as the sun glint down upon your face. You take it all in every bit of it. Then you laugh, full and loud.

“I.. I didn’t think I would ever get out of there.” You confess to Steve “I was laying on that bed and multiple times I would think this is it. It’s all over for me.”

“You’re here now though and that’s what matters. No one is ever going to put you in a hell hole like that again.” His voice is firm and determined. You nod having complete faith in his promise to you.

Steve rolls you to a little grove in the jungle just outside the parks you near a bench and sits down next to you reaching for your hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to you sooner if I had known…”

“No there was no way you could have ever known.”

“I know that but…”

“No it’s over you came back for me that’s all that matters.”

He nods looking you over. “When we split before the fight, I realized something. But it was more final and completely true when I got you back. When I thought I would never get you back or that they had almost killed you I realized that you mean more to me than anyone ever has. I was willing to abandon Bucky until I got you back that’s how much I need you.”

You can feel tears forming in your eyes, here was the man you had pined over for years hoping one day he would say something like this to you. It was almost to good to be true.

“I need you to know though, I care about you.” Your heart flutter so close to the words. “No I…I love you. There’s no other way to put this. I know it’s bad timing after everything happened but I do. I love you.”

You leap over the arm of his chair crashing into his arms while throwing yours around his neck. You start to laugh and cry all at the same time. A real dream come true.

“I take that to mean you love me too?”

“Yes, I love you! I love you so much. I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited to hear that.” You are nodding and wiping tears off your face.

“Good now let’s get you back inside I know the air is good for you but I need my best gal all rested up so she can come home.”

You nod your head “I’ll be here!”

@veronicalei @annadier

AM I ENOUGH

Bucky X Reader

Summary: he was your everything but apparently you weren’t his. Left with nothing but some memories where will life take you?

Warnings: Super angst right from the first sentence, Sam being awesome

A/N: ok I know I shouldn’t be starting something new when I’m working on something but this can to me and I needed to write it out before it left me. I’m tagging some people that have helped me write and make a better story. I hope I have put all your advice to good work. @annadier @marvelous-imagining and @metalarmproblems And the always amazing @veronicalei

“You promised you would stay with me. That nothing on Earth could stop you from breaking that promise. What did I do? I don’t know what I did wrong, not to make you leave me.”

“I know she’s perfect, she’s everything you deserve but I thought, maybe for once, I could be enough for someone, for you. You said I was everything you could ever need. Did you ever want me though? If you only needed me, you could have needed me and just been my friend. Why drag me through this and give me so much, only to say none of it was real?” Your cries have fallen on deaf ears. His back is now turned from you shutting you out once more.

The words were echoing in your head they were the first moments of everything crumbling down around you. You couldn’t stay here anymore. He wanted you gone.

You hastily scribbled out a note it was written on the back of one of your pictures making it hard to write on and puncturing the photo at times. Your hand was shaky and tears blurred your vision. You were determined however to get this out and send it to him.

“I’m sorry. I should have seen the signs earlier, but then again I guess I did. I was just fooling myself into thinking I could hold on to you longer when that’s probably when I already lost you. I’m sorry I kept you from her, I won’t bother you anymore. I hope one day you’ll forgive me for keeping you from her for so long.“

You write Love before scribbling it out and simply put your name.

You slide it under the door and walk away. He wouldn’t get it for a few days as he was gone on a mission. That left you with enough time to make a clean getaway, not that anyone was going to come after you.

You weren’t a part of the team, didn’t work with them, didn’t technically live with them either. You were just dating one of the members. Well dated one of them. In fact, if he hasn’t said anything they may not notice your absence for awhile thinking you were busy or something.

You had come to collect everything that you had left here. The clothes, the nic-nacs you had collected over time, photos, really anything that could remind him of you. He moved on and didn’t need your junk in the way. Carting it all away you drop most of it down the garbage shoot putting an end to that. You walked into the main lounge and collected a couple more things. With a final look around you said goodbye and the door shut it all from your view.

“FRIDAY, I’m leaving now you can revoke my access privileges as per his request.”

“All right, Miss (Y/L). It has been nice knowing you. Have a pleasant day.”

“I’ll try FRIDAY.”

Stepping out of the building you head out not quite knowing where you were going but knowing it was far away from here.

The team had gotten back from a grueling mission, they were all banged up and suffering from an arrangement of injuries but none needed professional medical help. A couple band-aids would do the trick and a hot shower for everything else. They filed out of the quinjet; to their surprise, you weren’t waiting there for them. Usually, you would be fidgeting waiting to see that each one was back and relatively unharmed.

Sam was the first to speak up “Hey man where is (Y/N)?” He asks Bucky. “She knew we were coming back today, yes? You text her?”

Bucky stiffens forgetting that you wouldn’t be here anymore. He shrugs attempting to take the subject off you and more so him.

“Man, I could really use a hug from her right now. You know check over my injuries, berate me for getting injured in the first place.” He jokes with the others. They all chuckle knowing that is exactly what you would do to all of them. Well except Bucky, you would be pampering and nitpicking his every move just to reassure yourself that he was safe.

“Maybe she fell asleep waiting for us. FRIDAY, we’re back, is (Y/N) in the building?” Tony asks you had done that a couple times before because of the lateness of a mission.

“No Sir she is not. She has not been back since two days ago. She collected some of her stuff and hasn’t been back since.”

“Oh, alright I’ll just have to text her since other people seem to have forgotten.” He says shooting Bucky a glare. Bucky can’t meet his eyes knowing the true reason to why you weren’t there.

They shuffle to their separate rooms to shower and change. They all eventually drift back to the kitchen when their stomachs announce their need for food. All but Bucky had come down, Steve the concerned friend he always was went to get him. Knocking on the door he found Bucky standing in his room showered but staring at the bed. It was nicely made the grey comforter pulled up and the pillows tucked under and plumped. The room was perfectly squared away not a thing out if the place it seemed odd but Steve shrugged it off and continued into the room.

He places a hand on Bucky’s shoulder causing him to jump at the touch. “Hey just wanted to let you know that there is dinner in the kitchen everyone is waiting for you. Have you heard anything from (Y/N) yet?” Bucky shakes his head. “Hey what’s up with you you’ve been weird for this whole mission and even now?”

“Its nothing Steve, I have just been dying to sleep in my own bed now.”

He rolls his shoulder pushing Steve’s hand off of him. He heads out leaving Steve behind, Steve takes a deep breath and drops his head. He was only trying to help. A picture on the ground catches his eyes, he stoops down to pick it up. It’s the picture from one of your days on the beach together. Bucky and You had romped along the beach all day playing in the water and building numerous sandcastles only to have the other knock it down. Here though you both had laid down tired from the day, your head was on his chest, his arm wrapped around you both sleeping under an umbrella. It was one of your favorites, flipping it over he reads your words.

His heart breaks, suddenly everything makes sense. Bucky’s attitude, he wouldn’t focus to save his life missing quite a few easy shots during the mission; the room, he looks up none of your personal things could be seen, there was nothing scattered about like you usually have. So that's what happened, he whips around and chases Bucky down. He starts waving the photo as he sees him sitting at the kitchen counter, not fully taking in his surroundings.

“What the heck is this?” Shoving it in his face. Bucky grabs it and looks at the photo before turning it over. He reads the words but doesn’t quite comprehend it all, so he sits and stares trying to make it say something else. He thought he wanted to move on from you that you weren’t enough but now, he wasn’t so sure. He hadn’t cared while you had screamed at him and begged him to explain.

“Answer me Bucky what happened between you and (Y/N)? Why isn’t she coming back?” You could hear a pin drop it was so silent in the room all gaping at Bucky.

“That’s why she is not here?“ Tony half standing now from where he had been sitting on the couch.

“Tell me!” Steve snaps. Taking Bucky by the collar and forcing him to look him in the eye.

“I….I broke up with her.” He whispers, “Right before the mission.” His voice keeps getting smaller.

“Why? Why would you ever want to do that?” Steve pleads. “She was your everything. You couldn’t stop talking about her when she wasn’t with you and when she was you were attached at the hip. She’s your best friend, a kind of friend I can never be.”

“I thought…” He trails off not wanting to phrase the next part wrong . “I thought I wanted something else… someone else.”

“You arrogant son of a… Did you cheat on her?” Tony growls.

“No, I couldn’t do that. Not to her.”

“But you could break up with her out of the blue after she gave you everything!”

“Hey whoa back up, now let’s calm down and talk it out” Sam is standing pulling Tony back by the shoulder trying to meditate before tensions could rise further. “Sit down Tony this isn’t going to help anything.”

Tony sits with a huff. Sam faces Bucky meeting his eyes. “Bucky I’m guessing you’re regretting breaking up with her now. Why?”

“I walked in the room and nothing felt right it wasn’t home, I looked for anything to hold on to buts all gone. She took everything of hers is gone even out here. The book she kept on the side table. The blankets, even the pillows every single one is gone. She disappeared and it like I’m missing a part of myself. I don’t know what to do.“

“And this person you were leaving her for, she doesn’t make you feel this way? Does she make you happy? Maybe you just need to get used to the idea that (Y/N) is gone.”

Protests were heard all around. Sam held up his hands shushing them as he went to explain himself. Bucky was looking even more confused staring now down at his hands like they held the answer.

“All I’m saying is I don’t want you trying to get her back just because you are used to her being there. She was a constant but you drifted away from her for a reason. I want you to decide whether she is everything you could ever want and need now and forever. That she is going to be the only one always. Or you can let her go and you both move on with your lives. You need to know she is not just going to let you back in after what you did to her. You are going to have to fight to get her back. It may take a long while longer than either of you may like but you have left a very broken girl in your wake. I want you to be absolutely certain you love her with all you have.”

Now everyone is staring at Sam. They tend to forget he is a councilor for the VA so everything that he just said made so much sense and very true. Now the question was he willing to fight for you?

To be continued……

@metalarmproblems

and @veronicalei

I'll Be Here Part 2

Steve X Reader

Warnings: angst and little fluff, super long because I can’t help myself

A/N: So this thing here is going to have 3 parts I believe and as stated this us part 2.I have learned not to rush posting something especially when I'm tired. Thank you again so much for reading these it is a great confidence booster and I am really enjoying myself. As always feedback is appreciated. Oh and thank you to my very first asked to be tagged person @veronicalei Part 1 has been updated.

Summary: After splitting up with Steve to let him get away with Bucky you are captured and with it comes to some consequences you didn’t expect to face. Will you ever escape your prison?

They had swarmed the building, guns pointed and threats made you paralyzed some putting up no real fight because at the end of the day you had done your crime and now you had to pay for it. This would keep everyone safe as well, and not just from Secretary Ross but from yourself as well. 

When they had surrounded you, you put your hands up behind your head and sunk to your knees letting them approach you. It didn’t really help because they still threw you to the ground and forcibly cuffed you. When you were subdued they call him in. He stalked towards you a smug grin on his face as he looked down upon you. 

“Oh, I’m going to get such pleasure from putting you away in the little hidey hole that I have planned. You will never see the light of day again.” He was practically cackling at the thought. 

You don’t speak merely stare at him, unnerving him with you uninterested glare. He could do his worse, there wasn’t exactly anything out here to come back to anyway. While they loaded you into an armored truck you glanced around one last time. Hoping that maybe Steve or someone had stuck around to see you carted off. That he would know to come to rescue you, but why would he when you specifically told Sam not to let him.

The doors shut with a bang they have surrounded you with four guards even though you have no intention of going anywhere, not that they knew that but still. After about 10 minutes into your journey, the guard on your left suddenly shifts, taking his baton out and striking you hard in the stomach. You told in half with the pain.

“That was for Mac, you crazy animal.” He hisses. The others have drawn closet as well, each of them taking their hits but never where you couldn’t cover it up. You guess this wi be a normal thing now, you draw into yourself hoping the pain will lessen but they continue each strike causing more pain. Your grunts and whimpers are the only vocal sound in the truck. Finally, the trucks slow to a stop, the guards all sit back with grins on their faces while you attempt to straighten yourself gulping in as much air as you can.

The doors swing open and the first two get out, they escort you to a nearby jet and you all are soon on your way out over the sea. Ross’s voice can be heard talking to the guards, “I know you were upset, but couldn’t you have waited till we were on the Raft to do this? I want him to see her original state and then do whatever else he has planned.“ 

You shudder half from the pain, half the thought of what this person could possibly have planned. They leave you alone for the remainder of the trip, this being a few hours. Upon landing they cart you out dragging you inside a large hanger. You can see several runs of water coming down from the ceiling it was either raining or you were in a submersible you decide. Not good if it was the later. You are quickly escorted and handed over to another set of guards who proceed to file you through a check-in process. They strip you of everything you own, your clothes are gone and replaced with a hospital gown. Weapons and everything else confiscated. Instead, they hand you another set of standard inmate uniform.

They then lead you to the next station where a collar is fitted around your neck. They then explain that this was for special inmates like yourself and whenever you did something out of line they would emit an electric pulse through you. They then added that they also did it when just looking at you pissed them off, like right now. They hit the switch and you spasmed falling to your knees as it courses through you. They all had a good laugh at your expense. 

You took too long getting up so they hooked their arms under yours and lifted you to what seemed to be a doctor’s office. The doctor tapped on his pad pulling up a new patient file with your name on it. He read over the slim notes before getting to work inputting your data. Blood samples were taken and you were escorted to your new cell, your home for the next eternity as they put it. 

You curled in the bed and shut the world out. This was you state for the next couple days, you never really moved you certainly never are or drank anything just laid there.

You cell opened and two guards came in forcing you up. You were still pretty sore from your last encounter so again they drag you back to the doctor’s office. You were laid down on a bed your hands and feet then strapped down. You start to panic unsure of what will happen next. The doctor walks up with a small tray of instruments, most of them being needles of various sizes.

"Welcome Miss (Y/L/N), my name is Dr. Krieger, we are going to try to cure you then we may be able to release you to a normal facility. But for now your my guest for a while. I have to say you have the most interesting blood I’ve seen in a while. Oh, what you must have gone through to get this.” He chuckles darkly while moving around you. “Well, no matter let’s get started.” He claps his hand and reaches for the first syringe. “We are going to try and cure each individual toxin and see how that goes.”

He takes the first and injects it into you. It feels like fire burning through your veins. It spreads through your body causing you to spasm and groan at the pain. “Interesting.” You hear him mutter. This goes on for a long time, how long you’re not sure, he continues with the same one injecting it every few hours you would say.

After an eternity, he takes one more sample of blood and dismisses you from the room. You are carried to your cell and locked in. This goes one for a couple days, the same routine hours of pain and back to your cell. The doctor has made note of the changes in you, your skin has a blueish tint, your eyes are still purple but a yellow-grey fog now surrounds them. The “cures” aren’t doing anything at all, in fact, they seem to be killing you instead. 

On day three, about halfway through you are dismissed by the doctor to go welcome some guests. Taken back you are propped up against the wall nearest the glass door. Once you are sealed inside, the main door opens and Sam, Wanda, Clint, and a man you’ve come to know as Scott, are marched in with Secretary Ross leading them.

“Look who’s here to see you!” He exclaims to you waving his arm back motioning to the others. “I’ve almost got the complete set. Though now from the looks of you I might be down one soon. I will have to speak to the doctor. Not so high and mighty now are we.” He sneers at you and lets everyone see you. 

They all gasp, you didn’t know what you looked like but from the response, it must not have been good. You can’t even raise your hand you are so weak. Wanda tears up, even though she is the one with a collar like you and a straight jacket. 

You hear Sam whisper “No” then he and Clint lunges forward toward Ross, the guards hold them back. “This, this is your great plan to lock us up for not doing what you say. To torture us till we comply. You’re no better than Hydra. Heck, I would take them over you any day." 

"Well lucky for you, you’re stuck with me for a very long time.” Ross snickers and turns away heading out the door. 

“You won’t get away with this. He will come and everyone will know what you really are.”

Ross simply waves a hand at Sam, the door closes. Each person is escorted and locked into their cages. Sam presses himself against the glass trying to get a better look at you. You head had fallen down now leaning against the door.

“Hey, (Y/N) Look at me. What did they do? What did these freaks do to you?”

You couldn’t reply as much as you wanted to. The guards eventually came back and took you to Dr. Keigal to complete your session with him. Not that it had ever gone right, but this time something really went wrong with the treatment, you had just gotten back when you started to convulse on the bed. Sam screams your name and calls for the guards. By the time anyone got there it had died out but a small trail of blood could be seen from the corner of your mouth. The guards called Dr. Kreiger, he determined nothing could be done gave you a mild sedative and left. 

Falling into an uneasy slumber, you had no real control over your body. While you were out you started to mumble, “I’ll be here, I will be here.”

You had always said this to Steve, no one really knows why but you did and now that Steve wasn’t here it broke their hearts, you were calling for him. Sam signed he couldn’t look at you without feeling the tears build up. Clint laid down looking at the ceiling trying to control his rage. No one should go through this not ever.

The main door slide open revealing a beat up, Tony. Clint started to clap waking you from you light slumber. Your eyes peeled open, your heart stuttered see how bad of shape he was in not only physically but even in his body language you see an exhausted beaten man. You can’t quite make out their words yet you hear having yet to fully come back. It slowly fades in though. 

“You need anything?" 

Sam gives him a sneer. "Why don’t you ask the girls that?!” Tony turns first seeing Wanda he takes her in, when he turns towards you first he is surprised. Probably didn’t even know you were here, then his face falls taking you in. 

“What happened, how… Why is she like this?”

“You happened that’s what, you and that butt buddy Ross of yours, she was brought here before us when we got here she was already this bad." 

You see Tony’s face fell even more, you reach out your hand it shakes so much and is so heavy that you drop it almost immediately. Tony lurches forward slightly, Sam chuckles. 

"You don’t get the right to care what happens to her not anymore. You chose your side and now she pays the consequent for them. We are nothing but the enemy now." 

You try to shake your head but can’t you see the black swarming the edge of your vision pulling you in. To other, it looks like your shaking and then your eyes flutter close. They all sigh it’s the first real rest you had gotten. You again start to mumble a little, the same phrase "I’ll be here.”

“She’s waiting for him. You know she only says it to him.” Sam whispers. 

“Where is he?" 

When you next awaken Tony is gone and the others breathe a sigh of relief when you wake up. You had been out for several hours that they were unsure if you would ever wake up. You have gotten a bit of your strength back when you are next taken to Dr. Keigal he didn’t go about it his usual way. He seemed to be stuck. 

"It appears the cures are not working, in fact, it is killing you slowly. The cure has now become the poison in this case. We shall just have to find another way. You are so interesting my dear. This will be the most compelling thing I have ever done. I may even get published.” He starts to whistle, grabbing different things not really paying you any mind. He collects some samples and sends you on your way.

Dropped on the bed you turn to look at Sam, he is examining you trying to see if anything changed, not seeing anything he meets your gaze. 

“Wha… what.. what happened?” Your voice is sore from disuse. It comes out rust and shallows a mere whisper. It is so far removed from how you usually talk that it takes Sam a moment to collect himself. He starts with right where you left the picture. 

You listen to his story, the others input things as he goes in, completing the story. They even shared a smile when you learned that Steve had gotten up the courage to kiss Sharon. Your heart skips a little when you hear this. You meet Sams eyes after this and you can tell he knows what he said had hurt you.

“He’s going to come (Y/N) I promise.”

“I don’t doubt it, but I’ll stay here.” He tries to interrupt you, you shake your head. “No Sam we had a deal when he comes you make him leave me here. Not worth the risk to you guys I can barely move as it is. And…” You are choking up you remember what he had told you before you parted ways. “Steve knows what I am, I’ll just screw everything up again if I go.”

“You know he didn’t mean it like that, don’t give up please (Y/N).”

“Monsters belong in cages, heroes need to be free." 

Everyone looked at each other having absolutely no idea how to make you see that you were a hero, in more ways than one. If anything it was you that deserved to be out there the most. Sitting in silence, you all look at your present situation. Each was thinking of what they would do when they got out. You had nodded off again, once more muttering your phrase. 

"Why does she say that?” Scott asked. 

Clint responded, “She’s done that since I picked her up years ago, at first it was because she wanted people to know that she existed. She was kept by this mercenary group, stashed in a little closet all day. I think she did it to remind herself that she wasn’t going anywhere and she did, in fact, exist to others.”

Sam continued “it’s changed over the years though, we became family. She didn’t need to reassure her self as much anymore. She only says it to Steve now, but when I think about it its always as he’s leaving or during a mission.”

“What does it mean now?" 

You had awakened to hear Sam’s explanation. You turn to your side looking out "It meant I was there, I would be there to help whenever he needed me or how he needed me. Even if it meant getting captured or staying out of the way and not screwing up his plans." 

Sam and Clint looked at you in your bed torn to pieces both physically and mentally, there wasn’t much left of the person you used to be.  You had more convulsions through the night, no one ever came leaving you to ride them all through. Your skin was stretched and sunken into your face. The one that needed put the most was you.

Your heads all swung to the door when a cart could be heard rattling in. In stepped Dr. Kreigal. You tense up, the others start to growl. 

"Well hello my friends, I thought I would bring the fun to you. See what it is we do every day together. (Y/N), I hope you're ready I had time to go over your data and I want to try something new. I’m sure this will work.”

He rolls the cart into your cell and guards that came with strapped you down to your bed. The others were now shouting and banging against the glass, threatening him with anything they could imagine. Sam turns to grab something hoping to break the glass so he can get to you. Turning back around he finds Steve walking in, he rushes to the window pointing toward your open cell. He looks around to see the doctor uncaping the needle to start. Steve flew into action, pulling the doctor on away from you and into the wall.

The doctor let out an outraged scream, surging forward toward Steve. He tries to pry him away while Steve was undoing the straps around your legs. He twists and lands a punch once again sending the doctor back, but this time he doesn’t get back up, having been rendered unconscious. He goes back to finish loosening all the straps, once free he keeps you there while he liberates the others. Sam runs over to you and lifts you into his arms. You try a feeble attempt to push him back. Silently pleading with him to leave you here.

Sam doesn’t budge, “Hey you said Steve couldn’t save you, you never said I couldn’t. Let’s get you out of here." 

They all trudge out and into a waiting jet, a number of them are surprised to see T'Challa sitting in the pilot seat. Sam placed you down on a bench and began to strap you down for taking off. 

"No, please no.” You whimpered, flinching when he lifted the strap.

“We need to secure you for taking off then they can go. I promise no one will hurt you.”

You shake your head curling in on yourself to make it harder to strap you down. Seeing thus Steve walks over and picks you up, cradling you against his chest. He sits back down and straps himself in keep your firmly to his chest. “I got her.” Sam nods and walks away to find his own seat.

Take off is smooth and soon enough the plane levels out. Steve has started to stroke your thigh. The feeling relaxes you, so much you practically melt into him. Silence descends on the plane, the low grumble of the engine sending you to sleep. Steve feels the final bit of tension drain from you when he looks down, seeing your eyes closed in slumber.

He pulls you a little closer, he is having a hard time comprehending that he almost lost you. Even now looking at how frail you looked there was still a chance. He glances up to look at Sam the question already in his eyes.

“What happened to her?” He keeps his voice low, not wanting to wake you.

Sam looks down at you, “I don’t really know, she didn’t exactly tell us, but that quack doctor was pumping her full of something. It’s making her break down, she had convulsions all last night off and on wouldn’t be surprised if another one was on the way.”

He continues to tell him all the things that happened while they were in jail. After a moment of silence, Steve told them everything that had happened after their capture, even how Bucky was involved in Tony’s parents’ death. They were a little surprised but overall it wasn’t that unthinkable.

About halfway to their destination, your arm started to twitch. At first, Steve thought you were waking up, but the shake seemed to travel up your arm and spread through your body. He looks up panicked, “Sam what’s happening how do I stop this?”

“You don’t, just let it happen, hold her tight so she doesn’t hurt herself.” Steve immediately squeezes you, not that you could get any closer but he could try. It lasts about a minute, you quiet down and Steve loosens his arms just a little scared that you may begin again. He tears up how much pain you had gone through while you weren’t with him. 

“I’ll be here” you’ve mumbled as per usual now. “I’ll be here.” You shift closer to him. Gripping on to him, feeling his warmth and how solid he was you begin to wake up.

Very slowly you lift your eyelids and see a broad chest. You trail your eyes up to meet clear blue eyes above you. You start to tear up, he’s here, right in front of you. You can feel him, your not making him up. He’s back with you, tears make their way down your cheeks.

“I know I’m here,” h3 seems to read your thoughts exactly. “I’m not going anywhere. Please don’t cry I hate when you cry. Makes me want to cry.” He starts to wipe the tears away. Still telling you that everything was going to be ok. You continue to stare at each other for a while, caught in your own little bubble. Soon though your eyes drift shut with Steve looking down upon you.

“She’s been saying that a lot now in her sleep. I think she’s calling for you most times.” Sam says when he is sure she is asleep.

Steve doesn’t look up, “I know she really only says it to me and I enjoy it. It’s like our own little thing, but I know it means more than what she lets on." 

"You’ll have to ask her when she’s better.” They continue to stare at her in the quiet as they finish this journey. Both keen on protecting her from anything that might come your way. With your phase echoing around them, the plane soared through the air. “I’ll be here.”

@annadier

I'll Be Here

Steve X Reader

Summary: You’ve always had a thing for Steve, since the beginning and like every perfect cliche story everyone but him knows it. From a questionable background with unusual gifts who could blame him for not noticing. Set during CA: CW, with a few changed details.

Warnings: ANGST,

A/N: I seem to have written quite a bit the last 2 weeks but I’ve loved all the responses I have gotten!!!! Thank you so much. Warning to you all this is not happy and ends in a cliffhanger, you have been warned! This is an edited version because I learned not to post when one is really tired and trying to rush things!

Supposedly this meeting was about setting boundaries and rules when it came being the Avengers. Not that that worked ever, waiting for someone to give a say on whether or not the situation was dire enough by a group of pompous and pretentious people was just stupid. This was going to bite them in the butt one day. Hopefully, it was before a whole lot of someones got killed.

You were relatively new to the group having been found by Clint, of course always picking up strays, while on a mission, you brought the destructive aspect to the group.

Having been sold and trained for a little known but dangerous mercenary group, you were eager to get out. Your time with the Devil’s Luck had been torturous. Each day they seemed to have a new way to scare you into submission. The only reason you lasted as long as you had was, you listened. Each week they had taught you a different bomb how to assemble and disarm it. They taught you all the components and at the end of the week you had to perform perfectly or death was the answer.

Clint had been sent in to disassemble the Devil’s. You were lucky to have Clint notice that you weren’t there willingly. It also helped your case that they would chain you every day in the room where they kept their poisons and other volatile explosives. They said it helped remind you of which components were which.

Focusing back to the meeting a new man has entered the room, Secretary Ross, gah even his name made you want to throw up, (he no longer gets a name shall only be known as he) he is staring down each and every one of them.

That is until he comes to you. You meet his glare head-on with one of your own. He shifts a little before looking away, you had won this round. It’s not surprising, due to the exposure of the different compounds, while being locked in your closet, your eyes had shifted from their usual (Y/E/C) to a murky purple, not exactly pretty or pleasant to look at.

He starts to blab on about how the group has “helped” so many people, but then he shifts and starts to blame them for everything ignore the lives saved in every incident.

You begin to feel your temper rising up, you shift in your chair. Looking around you can see everyone just taking it. You had been brought here years ago but had been too dangerous to be around others as Fury had told you. When you started training you had gotten to see them in action and vowed to be part of them.

Now that you were, they had quickly taken you in and treated you like family. You would not stand by while this prick tore into them. They were heroes that risked their lives and save millions more. They didn’t need all these rules or whatever crap this man wanted.

A hand on your thigh stops your internal thoughts and quells you anger a bit. Shooting your gaze over to see Steve; he was shaking his head slightly. Pretty much telling you to chill, then his thumb begins to rub circles in your thigh. Great now you can’t stay mad because you’re focusing on the feeling he is giving you, the butterflies erupt in your stomach.

It is a well-known fact to all you have a big thing for Mr. Steve Rogers. It’s also known that you will never make a move because you feel you are not good enough for him. Instead, you had chosen to become friends, you would take him however you could get him. You don’t often regret that decision mostly being that Steve was the greatest friend you could ask for.

You’re so in the moment that you don’t move until you hear Steve backfiring on Tony, his hand still rests on you but it is tense.

You focus back on the conversation. But don’t last long as you realize that this man had come in here and was now tearing the team apart. He is standing off to the side a bit as they argue, a small smile appearing on his face. He turns and leaves the room, the door gently closing.

You jerk up, making the chair roll hard into the wall startling everyone, you are seething, a low growl building its way up your throat. You head towards the door. “Where are you going?” Tony asks.

“I’m going to kill that man, I’m going to make him feel so much pain he’s going to wish he never even set foot in this building let alone mess with my family.” Still growling you turn back towards the door only to have a couple pair of arms hold you still.

“This won’t help anything if you kill him or threaten him,” Sam says while he and Clint attempt to pull you back into your chair. You were standing firm until another chair sputtered back. All eyes shifted to Steve.

“I have to go.” He quickly leaves. You know something is wrong you can tell just from his words. The men release you and you take the moment to follow Steve out. It wasn’t often that Steve didn’t jump in to help you or defend you so the simple fact that he didn’t prove that he just received the worse kind of news. You hoped it didn’t have to deal with Bucky, he had searched for so long now. Spending months with him and you digging for even the slightest mention of him.

You searched for him for a couple moments till a faint sniffling reached your ears. Opening the door to the stairwell you peak over the edge to Steve in the middle of the flight. You rush down, his shoulders are shaking while he holds his phone out. You glimpse on, ‘She’s gone, in her sleep.’ You gasp taking it in, Peggy was gone no wonder he was in pieces. It was worse than Bucky, not Peggy he had gotten her back.

You both often visited her in the care home. Spending hours talking, you getting all the really good stories to blackmail Steve with. Now she was gone, you wrap your arms around him and he takes advantage by leaning in cause you both to slip to the steps.

A few minutes later he looks up at you, those gorgeous blue eyes are rimmed in red and have a dark shadow in them as his world comes crashing down around him. “I have to go, I need to get packed and go to her. I… I didn’t get to say goodbye. I’ve lost her, again. Why did I lose her again?”

You nod your head, you had no idea why things were working out this way, fate was cruel. “Come on let’s get you home to pack.“ Taking his hand you get him up and lead him up to his room. You sit him down on the bed and pull out his small carry on bag. He glances up, "I can do it, thank you for taking care of me. Maybe you can come with me. I could the support and you were close with her as well.”

“I’ll be here.” You reply quietly to him.

At the funeral, Steve is one of the pallbearers for Peggy. You can see how upset he is even when he sits next to you in the pew. He grabs hold of your thigh again holding on tightly as the service begins. It was a lovely service, even when it came time for the family to speak. You were expecting a lot of tears, what you didn’t expect was the blonde woman, especially Steve’s neighbor to get up to speak. She was introduced as Sharon Carter. You feel Steve straighten and his hand leaves your thigh. You glance up to find his eyes zeroed in on Sharon as she shares about her aunt. Another Carter. He hangs off her words eyes meeting until the end and even still follows her with his eyes after she’s done showing great interest in what she was doing.

Your heart putters at the scene, Sam glanced over at your sharp inhale, checking to see what happened. Steve remained focused on Sharon missing your distress.

You had known he had been through too much to just try to jump into a relationship with. Then you had found out about Peggy and knew that nothing was going to happen for a very long time. You wouldn’t compete with someone you had no chance of winning against. From all the stories you didn’t mind either. Now here comes fate with another interesting Carter at Steve’s feet.

He excuses himself from you and Sam to go talk to her. “You shouldn’t let him go like that,” Sam comments to you.

“He is free to talk to anyone he wants to I’m not going to stop him.” You reply getting uncomfortable with the situation at hand. You wait for Steve to come back glancing over at them while they talk flinching every time he smiles at something she said.

“Yup, you're jealous.”

“Never said I wasn’t; just not going to let it affect my relationship with him.”

“Uh huh whatever you say.”

Sharon walks away only to have Nat walk up and talk to Steve. He gets a little tense talking to her but soon heads over sending you a small smile. “She’s headed to Vienna for the talks. Things are going to get dangerous now.”

“I know. I’ll be here.” You give him a small smile, while you give his hand a quick squeeze.

Steve and yourself had split up after the funeral, you had things that needed to get done in New York. Unfortunately, you should have stayed with him. You knew as soon as you saw the news and heard Bucky’s name you were ready to head right back in the quinjet only to be surrounded by men in black tactical gear. Their weapons were pointed straight at you no chance of escape. Then he came sauntering up an evil grin on his face. “Bring her with us, she’s a good bargaining chip for him”. They cuffed her and forced her onto the jet but strapped her down tightly.

Upon landing you are carted into a foreign building and kept under lock and key. Constant eyes watching you. It's rather boring just waiting around waiting for something to happen. Lucky for you they didn’t have a full understanding of your powers. While you were stuck in your prison with the Devil’s Luck, not only had your eyes changed but so had your very DNA. The strange combination of compounds mixed further and mutated your blood enabling you to use any poison or other toxins at will.

It was one of the reasons you never told Steve your true feelings. There was a lot you still didn’t know about your powers making you almost a ticking time bomb when your emotions got high enough you would leak fumes around you. This included the meeting before this whole mess. Steve was one of the few people able to calm you down almost instantly, dissipating anything in the air.

The other reason was Steve had been dealt a sad hand of cards in life, he deserved something normal including a normal love interest. It was why you weren’t exactly angry when he showed interest in someone. Of course, he could never truly have a normal life, house, kids, and dogs, but it would be better than the “toxic” relationship you would provide. You would never be able to let go fully always worried that you would hurt him. Heck, right now you were in a jail cell waiting to be used as bait against him.

As the guard passes by on his round a perfect opportunity to escape. You start to emit a gas known for bending the will. Perfect for your plan with the lack of appropriate ventilation, your cell was soon open and you walked out. You had the guard escort you all the way to the glass office which now held Steve, Sam, Tony, and Nat. There was another man with regal posture but you paid little head to him as you zeroed in on the man that continued to drive your family apart.

The door slides open and all eyes turned to you. You wave the guard off and stare at the man in front of you. Everyone is slowly rising. They can see the wisps of smoke radiating from you. Your eyes have now crystallized to a royal purple instead. Steve approached you arms raised slightly with his palms open toward you. You let him approach slowly trying to get your breathing and rage under control.

“Calm down, (Y/N). It alright. I promise we are just seeing things differently.”

“No! He is tearing my family apart and will not let him continue to do this.” You are screaming at this point. “He is the one that brought this on why can’t anyone see this. Turning us against each other. Making Wanda feel like everything is wrong with her when it's not. Making Tony take all the blame for the actions of others. I won’t allow it anymore!” The waves pulse out again darker and reaching out toward the man in question. He shirks back, finally grasping just how dangerous you are and what you could do, specifically to him at the moment.

He dares to speak, “Rogers, get the monster under control or I will.”

This made all heads turn towards him. “Excuse me,” the rage and venom could be heard clearly in Steve’s voice.

You heard me. Do something before I have to.”

With that, he takes his chance and leaves the room. They all continue to stare after him. You, on the other hand, were shocked at what he said that everything vanished. He had said the one thing you knew to be true but no one had ever said to you. Hearing it was worse and cut you deep; looking around you saw the angry expressions on their faces you’re not sure if it’s for you or the man that just walked out. Steve let’s out a sigh before turning back to you.

“I told you to calm down. You might have just made things worse. Now, why don’t you sit down and maybe don’t move.” He sounds slightly exasperated as he says this. You feel your heart clench at the tone. You merely nod your head.

“Well great, that fixes nothing,” Tony says glancing now between the two of you. At this point, Sharon comes in letting them know that the interrogation was about to begin. She walks up to Steve and you can see him relax, sending her a small smile. Well, another nail in that coffin. They look good together you notice, almost a perfect match; at least he doesn’t have to worry about her killing anyone. You sink lower in your chair but even with the small movement, you see people tense around you making you go even smaller.

Suddenly the lights flicker and everyone panics, Sharon tells Steve Bucky’s floor and with a quick turn he tells you to follow him closely, this is your escape. You decide to split up Sam and you are on modes of transportation out. Steve would grab Bucky and meet you outside the building.

You hijack a civilian car and go on your way. From your spot, you witness the chopper crash and finally see the guys surface. You hoist them in the car and head out of town to an abandoned warehouse district.

Placing Bucky into a giant vice you wait for him to wake up. You have sat as far away from them as you could with still being able to be seen. Steve eventually comes over and sits next to you.

“You could have killed someone today.” You nod, not trusting yourself to speak and know that nothing can help you now. You pray for a miracle. “It was stupid and reckless. You need to get this under control, you were doing so well before all this happened.” You can tell he is concerned but you fear it is more for others than yourself. You pull your knees to your chest wrapping your arms around them. “Secretary Ross has power, unfortunately, he’s using it against us. But, we will get through it, you can’t get involved though. I can’t trust you at this point, you will only make things worse.”

“I’m sorry.” your voice breaks failing to hold back any tears.

“That’s not going to fix anything,” he huffs frustrated. “If that was enough none of us would be in this situation.”

By this time tears are falling down, you face silently. He’s confirmed everything you’ve feared the most. Your losing control and nothing more than a monster that was going to hurt others. Worse yet, you knew he wasn’t ever going to feel the same way you did. He couldn’t trust you why would he ever think to love you.

Sam approaches, “He’s awake.” You wipe your tears unsuccessfully masking that you had been crying. Sam probably heard it all. Steve rises to his feet going to Bucky’s side. You look out the window searching for suspicious activity. Not daring to turn around and meet anyone’s eyes.

A while later you notice movement on the roof a few blocks down. “We’ve got movement, couple blocks down. We need to move.”

You continue to watch until Steve walks up, pointing out all the boogies to him, you both come to the same conclusion. You're going to need a diversion and a pretty big one. It's then that you come to understand your it. The rest needed to continue; this was the end of your story.

You turn to Steve, “Go, I’ll hold them off. You take Sam and Bucky with you do what you need to do.”

“We can’t just leave you here, who knows what they’ll do.”

“I’ll be fine, I’m stronger than I look. I won’t kill any of them I promise. I can hold off being a monster long enough to get you guys out.“ You tell him firmly, hoping he can trust you just enough not to screw this up.

"You’re not…”

“Stop. Please. Just go.” You don’t need to hear any more lies. You shoo him away, not bothering to say goodbye.

Steve nods once before turning to debrief Bucky. Sam walks up to you, “This is stupid and you know it. They won’t let you go.”

“Maybe that’s what I want.” You glance back at Steve talking quietly with Bucky, “Sam, don’t let him come after me alright? No one can forget I was ever here. Monsters are meant to be locked up so that’s where I’ll go.”

“You’re not a monster, not even close.”

“Please just promise me Sam.” you urge, they need to get out and soon.

“Fine, but promise me you won’t just give yourself up. You get out of here and come back to us.”

“Alright, now go. I can give you guys about 20 minutes head start.”

Steve looks back at you sadness written on his face, “I’ll see you later, alright?”

“I’ll be here.” You whisper with a small smile.

Steve turns and jogs out with the guys close behind him. Turning back toward the front you prepare yourself with each thump of men trying to get in. For the first time you feel like you lied to Steve, you knew you wouldn’t be here.

@annadier

BELATED BIRTHDAY

Bucky X Reader 

Warnings: super long, angst, little self-doubt, and fluff

Summary: What happens when the team forgets your birthday? Including your best friend to have a dinner party to meet his new girl. 

A/N: I was super encouraged by all the love I got on my last story that I thought I would try again. Thank you all for reading these. This one is super long I let my feelings go and this is what can out of it. 

It’s not like you never told anyone your birthday, it was just a weird thing to bring up in conversation. You would also think a group of ex-assassins and superheroes would remember a little thing like that. So for the past week leading up to it, you had been waiting with bated breath for someone to ask if you had plans for that day. Each day rolled by with nothing, maybe they were going to surprise you. Nobody was acting suspiciously though, no talking that stopped when you walked into the room. Thursday rolled around with nothing and with 2 days till your birthday, you were excited when your best friend Bucky came into the living room. 

“Hey lady, you got plans Saturday night?" 

"No, none what so ever!” You had gotten so excited that you had blurted it out rather quickly. Almost shouting at the man. 

He rocked back at your tone surprised at your eagerness.  

“Awesome we’re all going out to dinner wanted to know if you wanted to join us? Just a little something nothing too formal." 

"Sure, yes I’ll be there" 

He nodded and walked back out. You squealed a little, they were doing something. This was going to be great. You got up and practically sprinted to your room. You had to look nice for your party. You laid out a couple different outfits, finally, you set your mind on an (F/C) dress you had been saving. You paired it with some sandals and called it a day. 

Finally, Saturday came and you spent the better part of the afternoon getting ready. When you walked out to join your friends. To say some jaws dropped was an understatement. You were known as the queen of casual; never really putting too much effort into how you looked so when you stepped out in you dress all dolled up, the boys didn’t know what to think and the girls were cheesing so hard their faces might have split in half. 

Sam recovered first. Strolling up to you he said, "Hey pretty lady, can I take you out to dinner?" 

"Ha, sure you can, as long as you can show this girl a good time." 

"Well, then I’m the guy for you.” He held out his arm and you hooked yours through. 

“What’s with the extra effort? You never dress up.” Nat asked curiously. 

“Just wanted to look good for this night.” You say blushing slightly.

Everyone finally headed out except Bucky, he was joining them at the restaurant. They made their way down the street to your favorite little Italian restaurant. Stepping in you’re immediately escorted to a private room for your group. There you see Bucky seated with a blonde bombshell chatting quietly with heads close together. Your heart stutters for a moment, yes Bucky is your best friend but you had always secretly hoped one day it would be more than that. Obviously, that wasn’t happening anytime soon because as soon as he noticed you all he started introducing his date. 

“Hey, guys this is Gabby.” He starts to introduce each one of you and everyone shacks hands with her. 

When he comes to you he says “This is my best friend, (Y/N). This is Gabby, we’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks.” You’re frozen in your spot staring at this girl. He had never mentioned her but from the smile on his face, you can tell it’s pretty serious. You snap out of it and reach your hand out greeting her. Suddenly you get the feeling that tonight had nothing to do with your birthday. 

For the rest of the dinner, you sit quietly, not really talking more just sitting and observing the things going on around you. But you always go back to Bucky and Gabby chatting; he had barely glanced your way the whole night and hadn’t even noticed what you were wearing but why would he when there was a gorgeous woman next to him. It had become very apparent, by the time the check was brought that this wasn’t for you but for the girl next to Bucky. Not a single person had remembered your birthday, but it was too late to say anything now. Glancing around you see all the happy faces of your friends, no one looks back at you all focused on their own discussions.

So you excuse yourself from the table, saying you need to use the restroom, but instead of heading there you head straight out the front door. If no one remembered you would celebrate on your own. You walk down the street trying to blink back the tears while shooting Sam a quick text letting him know you weren’t feeling well and you were headed back to the Tower. Stopping by a quaint looking bakery you stop in and grab a cupcake your favorite kind.

You finally back at the Tower, you go straight to the balcony on the top floor. You sit with your legs dangling over the edge and focus in the city spread out in front of you. Taking the cupcake out of its box you begin to sing “Happy Birthday” to yourself, tears start to fall about halfway through and your voice cracks then give out toward the end. You sit quietly and finish your cupcake.

A pair of black stilettos appear in the corner of your vision, you glance up to see Nat. She plops down next to you. 

“You like Bucky don’t you?" 

You kind of stare at her she knows that but not your Birthday? "So? Doesn’t matter he’s with Gabby.” You state your not mad, a little jealous but he can date who he wants. Yeah, you wish it was you so bad but who could blame him for picking her over you, a little pudgy vs. drop dead gorgeous. 

“So I think you two would be great together. You are selling yourself short." 

This was perfect; just perfect you were miserable about your missed birthday but now you were adding on Bucky. Each on its own you could deal with but together. Well together seemed a little more dismal.

You felt your heart break in half. Maybe this whole thing was a mistake, you weren’t meant to be a part of this team. Heck, it would definitely cause a rift if Bucky ever found out you liked him. A whole bunch of awkwardness there for sure. The rest of the team couldn’t even remember your birthday. You start to think back on all the times you had thrown a tantrum, when you were so tired your sarcasm came out and you said harsh things to the team. Maybe it was better if you left, you couldn’t hurt anyone that way. 

You knew in your head most of the things you were saying were false but it rang so true right now that you couldn’t help but believe it. You focus back on Nat coming to a final decision about everything.

"I know. Call it a coping mechanism or whatever; one learns quickly the way the world works. Him and I, never going to work out. He can never know though. Promise you won’t tell him?!.” You add some finality to your voice to emphasize your point to her. 

She merely nodded her head in agreement. Standing up you brushed off your dress and picked up the remains of your cupcake. 

“Now enough of my pity party. It’s time for bed and start a new day tomorrow.” You pull Nat up beside you and walk back inside. Before you part ways she gives you a hard hug. You make your way to your room scrolling through your phone looking for a certain email. Upon finding it you email Fury asking if the position was still open and that you were interested in taking it. Once done you stripped and showered then cuddled into bed to start a new day and a new life tomorrow. 

The next morning you wake up to a message from Fury saying the position was still open and that he would start the process to get your transfer ready. He did say that it might take a week or two to get it done and for you to move. Closing the email you get ready for your day. This changes things you look around your room you would have to start packing but secretively so they didn’t think anything suspicious was going on. You asked FRIDAY for some boxes to be delivered. If asked you could always say you were donating it. 

You head out to grab some food, telling yourself not to annoy anyone while you were there. You were walking on thin ice with the group already no need to leave on an even more negative note. Right before you enter you hear a giggle. Oh, Gabby must have stayed over last night. No need to keep her a secret when the whole team knows now. You make a beeline for the fridge, avoiding making eye contact with anyone. 

“Hey, (Y/N). Good morning”  Bucky calls cheerfully. You raise your hand above the door of the fridge and wave back. “She’s not much of a morning person, tends to be rather grumpy most of the time.” He explains laughing slightly. Though from his tone you can tell he is slightly embarrassed by your behavior in front of her. Dang, you’ve screwed up again, but it would be over they wouldn’t have to deal with you soon enough.

You exit the room but pause when Gabby asks “What does she do? Like her role on the team?”  

There’s a moment of silence you can’t tell what their faces look like whether it is shocked or confused, but the answer that follows tells it all. 

“She’s like a jack of all trades,” Tony answers hesitantly “she…. how do I explain this? She does what we need her to. She isn’t great at any one thing." 

Your breathing stops, that’s what they thought. You could hear grunts of agreement. You feel tears start to build again. No, not again, she wouldn’t start crying again. You raced off just after hearing Steve say, "Yeah that’s what she is a jack of all trades, master of none." 

What you didn’t hear was Bucky saying "But she’s the glue that holds us all together, the one that will become anything you need her to be. In a way, she’s the perfect friend, the perfect Avenger in a way." 

ONE WEEK LATER  

You had avoided everyone as much as you could the past week. Didn’t want to get in their way or piss them off if you could help it. No one seemed to miss you anyway. There was no one checking up or asking for you. So when Fury came by to confirm your transfer and ask some questions you were out doing other things. 

"Where is (Y/N)? I need her to finish this paperwork.” Fury stated to the group. 

“She’s out, I don’t think she won’t be back till later. Why? What kind of paperwork? Maybe we can help.” Nat strolls over to him glancing at the papers. 

“I need some basic information from her like her birthday, social, and a couple more things. Though now that I think of it I could just ask FRIDAY. Pull up all general info on (Y/N) (Y/L/N) for me including social and forwarding address if available." 

It popped up on the TV screen and Sam blurted out "Wait, a forwarding address, where is she going?” Starting to panic. 

“She is taking a position in England that we offered her a while ago she will be in charge of train agents in the European offices; getting them in the first-rate condition. She declined at first but changed her mind last week; she let me know she wanted to take it." 

 They all shake their heads there was no way you would do this not without telling them. Bucky is the first to jump up furious at what he was just told. 

"What do you mean, transfer, she belongs here with us. No way is she leaving.”  He is shaking with how upset he is. 

Fury really isn’t paying attention to the upset heroes instead he is filling in your information on the sheet he has. “Oh look at that she’s a year older, that will get confusing I’ve always hated right after a birthday you have to remember that someone’s older than they were. But I guess that’s how it works. I need to get her something maybe one of you could pick it out for me? I bet Tony here threw a wonderful party for her birthday? Huh." 

Again the team freezes, "Wait her birthday passed? When?” Steve asks confused as to how any of them could have missed it.

“(Y/B/D) it was on a Saturday this year the perfect time to do something.” He jokes but looking at their faces knows something is very wrong. “You forgot?! All of you Earth’s Mightiest Heroes forgot a team members birthday! What did you do?" 

Sam answers hesitantly "We meat Bucky’s new girl that night. That's why she had gotten all dressed up. Not to meet Gabby just her birthday.” He smacks his forehead with his palm. 

“She probably thought that we were going to celebrate her birthday. She didn’t do it for Bucky, she did it for herself.” Nat says. 

Bucky blinks “What do you mean for Me? Why would she do something like that for me?" 

Tony signs "Obviously because she likes you. Not that you noticed you were too wrapped up in Miss Prissy to notice how decked out she was." 

Unbeknownst to the team, you were traveling up the elevator and the door opened to the living room just as Bucky was saying ”(Y/N) likes me?“

You froze, he wasn’t supposed to know, he was never to find out. All eyes turned to the elevator as it dinged above you. Your eyes shoot to Nat asking for an explanation. She merely shook her head indicating it wasn’t her that had told him. You don’t want to know the look on Bucky’s face whether it was pity or disappointment. Instead, you shift it to Fury, walking up to him and grabbing the papers. 

"I’m assuming you just need a signature and then I’m all ready to go, Yes?” You quickly take the papers and sign them finalizing the deal. You hand everything back to Fury while still ignoring the group that stared at you. 

“Thank you. I’ll get this all taken care of. Oh, by the way, Happy Birthday. I hope you had a wonderful day." 

"I did thank you so much.” You smile slightly at him. Walking up you kiss his cheek. Now if jaws could drop even further they would because this groups would all be on the floor by now. Never before had they seen someone kiss Fury let alone get close enough without being stopped. You turn around and head for the staircase towards your room, Fury calls out “Don’t need to lie to me, sweetheart." 

You turn back to face him a sad but knowing smile on your face. "It was a good day, I got to spend the day relaxing and then went to dinner with my family. We had a good time I got to meet someone dear to my friend we are laughed and talked. No my life wasn’t celebrated and there was no cake, but I got myself the best cupcake a girl could ask for then celebrated on the balcony overlooking the city. Did all my dreams come true? No. Did I get the guy? Never going to happen. Am I happy for him? Of course, he deserves the best in the world, even when it's not me. I still got to celebrate even if it was just me. But sometimes the only person needed to have a celebration is yourself.” You turn back around and continue on your way to your room. 

Fury glances back to the group. They now had somber looks, “You all really screwed up this time, you're going to lose her because you couldn’t see something that was right in front of you. Even worse I’m losing her. You all best make it right. That’s my girl, and I will make your life miserable if she moves. I’m going to go lose these for a while, you best have it fixed before I find it again, you hear?" 

"Yes, Sir!” Comes the unanimous and frightened reply. 

“Heroes my foot, trying to drive my favorite away. Always screwing around with my plans and my people.” He's muttering as he exits the room into the elevator. 

They end up looking at each other no one quite knowing what to do. They had messed up before but all this seemed to pale in comparison. They had driven away one of their own. Wanda was the one to speak up first. 

“Bucky, how do you feel about her? I mean really? I’m not saying that what you feel for Gabby is fake but there has always been a deep connection between the two of you something that not even some married couples achieve. I’m also not going to force you to chose her either if Gabby makes you happy go for it. She is a sweet girl. Please though give it some thought." 

Bucky’s forehead wrinkled thinking through all the thing you had done for him from calming him down from his nightmares to just sitting in silence on the couch after a long mission neither of you saying anything you just letting him rest his head against your thigh as you run your fingers through his hair. He thought of the times you made him laugh at some dumb thing you did. He also remembered the way you interacted with everyone.

Each remembers everything you had done and what stood out the most. You made yourself tailored fit to each person. With Bruce, you would make a nice cup of tea before snuggling in With a good book. Asking every once in a while how it was. You were the steadiness that he craved. For Tony, you would fiddle around in his lab handing him tools as he needed them and having late night dance off parties when the guilt and shame of the past prevented him from sleeping. 

Nat was a little difficult since you tended to have opposite tastes but there you were training with her, learning to fight but also to dance. You were never going to be a Ballerina but you liked to think that Nat could see that all that she had learned wasn’t bad she could use it to help others. Of course with Clint, it was nothing but fun and games pranking all that you could find and run away giggling. When Thor was around you would traverse this Midgar and explore the weird traditions, you humans had, Thor’s words, even if it was simply grocery shopping. At this point, Wanda and Vision were a package deal one was hardly away from the other. With them, you spent your days cooking and coming up with new recipes. But also trying to outsmart Vision the best you could. 

Sam was your go-to buddy, watching movies, playing video games, or even just chatting about how life was going. Hanging with Steve was always interesting, you had appointed yourself list completer. You did just about everything on the list with Steve and if you couldn’t you set it up for him, the where, when, and even sometimes the who. 

Bucky though, it was everything, every day he could think of a memory with you. A rock was how he would describe you; a constant person that whenever he needed something you were there to provide. Your random adventures out into the world with no real destination in mind. Now just the thought that he wouldn’t see you for even more than one day was terrifying. He pulls himself from his thoughts to see the group looking at him. 

"I can’t lose her. I don’t know what I would do without her.” His voice is trembling with fear of what may happen. 

“Then you need to go talk to her after we need to talk to her, so get her down here. We need to apologize and make her see that she is beyond needed here.” Wanda is firm, making it clear that failure is not an option. 

Bucky nods and begins his way up the stairs, towards your room. When he reaches the door he raises his hand to knock but hesitates, he doesn’t know what to say, how is he going to get you to stay after everything the group has put you through. You could leave, you had every right, they had taken so much from you never giving anything in return always just expecting more. No, not now he would give you anything you wanted. You were going to stay right here, with him. He knocked, this time determined to make you see where you truly belonged. 

The door cracked open, revealing tears traveling down your face and a pair of eyes revealing a shattered heart. You stare at him for a moment taking him in. You turn away leaving the door open knowing that he isn’t going to leave even if you wanted him to. He came into a room of boxes and thing scattered about. His hear restricted again it was real you were leaving. 

“You can’t go.” He blurted almost shouting it.  

You turn towards him. “Why not?" 

You’re tired, exhausted really you had cried yourself to sleep too many times this week. Ready to put the whole thing behind you and move on. So when you spoke it was devoid of emotion. This scared Bucky, even more, you had never spoken to him or anyone else this way. 

"I…we need you here. No, I need you here. You help keep us all together.”

“Funny thing about Jack of All Trades, yeah we may be good at almost anything we do; we are also very replaceable. You’ll find someone else just as good or even better. You think you need me now but just wait a couple of weeks you’ll forget I was even here." 

"No, we won’t. You are much more than that to us. None of could really function without you here. Who do you think keeps all the evil from crushing us. You see us as more than just superheroes. Please don’t go." 

You sign and continue to pack things into the boxes. Fear takes over Bucky as he watches to the point where he walks and tips the box spilling its contents on to the ground. 

"What are you doing!!!” You scream at him. 

“I’m not letting you go. I … I need you here with me. Not anyone else just me. I’m going to unpack everything you do so stop right now." 

"You’re making a mess that’s what you’re doing. You stop.” Exasperated at this fool. You had just finished packing those, but he continues to dump out your boxes. “Knock it off.” He keeps going. He has about two boxes left before he has effectively unpacked everything you have done. “Alright let’s talk, just stop trashing my room." 

He freezes mid tip, a smile grows on his face. He puts the box right side up. You plop down on your bed and pat the space next to you. He sets himself down and angles himself so he is facing you. 

"Why should I stay, and don’t just say cause you need me?" 

"I do need you, but the others need you as well. I didn’t realize how vital you are to me until you were walking away from me. You keep the nightmares at bay. You make me get up in the morning afterward even when I feel like the weight of everything I’ve done will crush me. No one else does that for me." 

"Wha..  what about Gabby, she makes you happy? I’ve never seen you smile like that not even when we are together." 

"That’s because it’s not that real. You aren’t paying enough attention to me when we are together. I can’t smile when we are together. Gabby is sweet but half the time I feel I have to hide part of myself so that I don’t scare her. She’s sweet and caring but she is not you. I know you would go to the ends of the earth for me and kick anyone’s butt that even insinuates that I’m not meant to be here. I don’t get that from you." 

Staring at him now, you can see how much he means with what he is saying. Why had he never said this before? Why Now? 

"I know you think that I might just be saying this because I don’t want you to leave” you not your head, “but I mean it. It’s cliche but I almost list you and I realize that I do care for you. I.. I love you, I can’t live without you. I can see a life without Gabby but without you, I can’t even wrap my head around it." 

He pauses looking at your face to see your reaction. Hoping that it is positive but scared that it’s too late for all this. You sit for a moment taking everything he has just said. 

"I… Why couldn’t you say this earlier. I just signed my transfer. It’s official now. I love you too but.." 

"Well, Fury may have chewed us out and "lost” your paperwork till we made this right with you.“ 

You can’t help it now you let out a laugh, Bucky can’t help but smile at the sound he missed it and even more, he didn’t want to lose it again. He tackled you to the bed, wrapping his body around. You wiggled trying to escape while laughing some more. He then begins to poke you in your side, causing you to laugh even harder. 

"Stop, please I’m staying, I’m staying I promise.” You’re trying to catch your breath while wiping tears away from your face. You snuggle deeper into him, enjoying the warmth and the pleasantness of the embrace. You stay like that for a while just reveling in each other. 

“Good,” he likes where you are at, right here in his arms, “we do need to move sometime. I have been tasked with bringing you downstairs so the others can talk to you. They feel bad for missing your birthday. I feel really bad, I’m your best friend and I couldn’t even remember something that important. Give me a day and I’ll make it up to you, anything you want I’ll do it. It’s your day." 

You merely nod, then unravel from him before standing up to head downstairs. He grips the side of your face taking his thumbs and wipes the remaining tears from your eyes. He kisses your forehead before releasing you to go. You take a deep breath and head out, Bucky lingers pulling out his phone to make things right. 

You head down the stairs to the living room, you go to grab Bucky’s hand for support to find him missing. Looking back around and continue down taking deep breathes. Looking into the living room you see that they are running around setting up balloons and streamers. Tony was trying to dictate where everything went and how everything looked. Wanda and Vision, were of course baking in the kitchen they were assembling the cake decorating it as best they could.

Everyone is so busy they don’t notice you on the stairs. You sit down and continue watching them, wondering how you ever thought you could leave these people. Tony pulls up the security video from the day that Gabby asked what you do. You watch them defend you and what you do, no one had a single thing wrong with you. 

You feel the tears gather again, you feel Bucky come up behind you wrapping his arms around you from the step above. All of a sudden the cake starts to tip over and a cry rings out from Wanda which causes Clint to startle on the ladder sending streamers falling and balloons to start popping. You smack a hand over your mouth to stop from laughing. It doesn’t last long as Tony starts running around before slipping on some decoration boxes he falls on his butt. The cake finally tips and falls across the counter. And Steve stares at everything happening. You can’t help it you busy out laughing bending over in half with a stitch growing in your side. You can feel Bucky behind you cracking up as well. 

  They all look oversee you collapsed on the stairs laughing. One by one they start laughing, each caught up in the moment. They all taper off when they hear a ding from the elevator. Fury steps out and looks around. 

"I don’t need these correct?” He held up your papers. All eyes shot to you. 

“No sir you don’t. They're stuck with me now.” You shake your head as cheers go up. 

Bucky leans in to whisper in your ear “I broke it off with Gabby, I’m all yours.” You shoot a look back at him just to confirm what he said, “Till the end of the line.”  You go back to looking at your friends as they stumble back up. This was the best birthday you could have asked for. 

“Happy Birthday (Y/N)!"