Kaz, Age Thirty, Deciding That The Pice De Rsistance Of The Myths About Him Is That Hes Got A Wife, So

Kaz, age thirty, deciding that the pièce de résistance of the myths about him is that he’s got a wife, so now he uses the mysterious and elusive wife in casual conversation (“Get talking, I promised my wife I’d make it home at a decent hour for supper”). This has the intended effect of being completely fucking confusing because now EVERYONE in the Barrel is working double time to try and figure out which poor sap is unlucky enough to be married to sarcastic little shit Brekker. Like Kaz would just mention his wife so much in conversation just for kicks but all everyone knows about her is 1) she’s radiant 2) she must be a Saint if she can withstand Kaz Brekker Himself enough to literally marry him and 3) Kaz is slightly scared of her

Did it hurt when you shipped two people so perfect for each other but one of them kissed the wrong guy? Yeah.

I say this with the most tender of affection, but I feel like more of you bitches should be on anxiety medication

Leigh calling out all the Mal haters 😂

Fun fact I’m in the audience at tonight’s Hannah Gadsby show

Kaz: There's no 'i' in team, but there is one in pizza.

Jesper: ... so you're not going to share?

Kaz: I'm not going to share.