Vent (TW)

Vent (TW)

Tw for: SH (self harm), Animal Death, PTSD (vague talk of it), Talk of blood tests (brief)

So, this week has been kinda stressful, I've been waiting almost a month to get my T prescription. I got approved, we did a blood test. We sent it the first time, they sent it back, that's normal. We sent it a second time and they sent it back again, and also wanted a blood test to prove that my current Testosterone levels warranted the T prescription in the first place, so I had to do yet another blood test. And now I'm waiting for the word on that blood test. It's very frustrating honestly. And unfortunately today I got triggered pretty bad so I'm having bad PTSD tonight, and I keep getting freaked out and shaking and just not feeling safe. And on November 2nd my dog, who was my absolute entire world and who made my life better in every single way, was hit and killed by a car. He didn't even get to turn one yet. Losing him has probably been the worst thing ever to happen to me, and every bad thing is a million times worse without him here. And i also relapsed recently, again, so now I've only been clean 15 days, which really sucks. And there's even more stressful stuff but it requires more context than I want to give this little blog.

The masculine urge to go nonverbal and be able to not feel like it's a huge inconvenience to everyone tho

I just kinda want to non-sexually please someone right now, maybe give them a massage or make them a snack or drink, or just curl up beside them because they want me close, or perform any other little task they ask, and recieve some gentle pats to my head and a "You're such a sweet, good boy" as they stroke my hair, y'know?

Here's an introduction post I guess? Just call me Kitten, I'm a transgender man and I use he/him they/them or it/its pronouns. I don't really know what to title this weird little blog of mine but it's mostly just gonna revolve around my fantasies and probably a lot of short story writing pertaining to them. As far as the...audience? I guess? I don't really know what to call anyone who stumbles across this blog to be honest, but I have no preference for who interacts, all I ask is respect of my gender and pronouns and any triggers I may share.

Feeling very dumb puppy right now, just kinda wanna lay on someone's lap and be petted and given headpats and called a good boy

I can't decide whether or not I'm currently wanting to be held gently and praised or fucked mindlessly and degraded a lil bit