It Feels Like Life Is Always Leaving Me Behind.

It feels like life is always leaving me behind.

All my friends are with their lifetime partners. Some are family planning with their spouses.

And here I am, still searching for my person.

“The best kind of people are the ones who come into your life, and make you see the sun where you once saw clouds. The people who believe in you so much, you start to believe in you too. The people who love you, simply for being you.”

— Unknown

One day

I'll listen to music and not think of you.

I'll pass you in the hall without feeling my stomach drop

I'll see your first name without automatically thinking of you,

and I'll look around a room full of people without searching for you.

“She watched the stars collapse knowing that like her, they held onto their light for as long as they could.”

— Wilder

“I have learned that when sadness comes to visit me, all I can do is say “I see you.” I spend some time with it, get up, and say goodbye. I don’t push it away. I own it. And because I own it, I let it go.”

— Carolina Zacaria

Seeing you used to make me feel warm.

But today, the thought of seeing you sent me into a dysregulated panic. I trembled uncontrollably and felt like I was going to pass out or throw up.

I don't feel safe around you anymore.