My Chronically Ill, Always In Pain Ass, Just Got Two Toddlers And Myself, Showered. Husband Helped During

My chronically ill, always in pain ass, just got two toddlers and myself, showered. Husband helped during wiggly moments. While I'm now in physical HELL..... I still feel accomplished.

My entire back/shoulders are shot with pain. My chest is scratched up either because of the hair clip my youngest held as a distraction, or his nails I forgot to trim before the shower vs after.

Siiiigggghhhhhh

That's it. That is our/my activity of the day. There will be no more. We are relaxing the rest of the evening.

Only thing I'm not looking forward to is laying in bed. We lost most of our sheets when we moved, somehow, so we have 2 sheet sets. One has gone missing recently. The other is on the bed and currently nearing needing washed. The only sheets that don't agitate my skin are like $54 here 🫠🫠

Another thing I think a lot of people take for granted. Not having to have specific bedding that doesn't agitate their skin.

happy ides of March

Toddler: *burps, and looks at me in absolute horror*

"What was THAT?!?!"

Me: "A burp?"

Toddler: *100% relaxed again* "okay"

I'm....... very hesitantly optimistic....

My mother and I had a surprisingly open conversation about my eldest being autistic, me being audhd, and basically the entire family being autistic/adhd/both. (Touched base on pots again too)

This coming from the woman who prior to this chat, habitually rejected such things/diagnosis. Who would get manic and mean about her thoughts and frustrations with ND folks, especially family. (Unless it was her own offspring. In which case we weren't ND we were just 'hella weird' and needed correcting/shamed to become 'normal'.)

Even going so far as to suggest the entire family should get together for an important meeting. To hash things out. From childhood to present day.

While this all sounds amazing.... I am so scared to believe that this is genuine. I'm scared to believe she suddenly very recently turned her whole belief/attitude around and is trying to have the entire family make amends.

She hurt me so deeply, especially within the last 5 years. She broke my trust, and our entire relationship. I've been distant but polite these last few years. Unable to work myself up to confronting her about the hurt, and what she has said behind my back to other family members.

I don't know what to expect with this family meeting scheduled for sometime in the coming months..... but I have a gut feeling this big conversation is going to drastically change the dynamic of the entire family and I'm unsure if it'll be for the better or not.

I know damn well feelings are going to get hurt.... because raw emotions are going to burst forth from at least half of us. This chat has been a long time coming. I'm just anxiously awaiting to find out the intention behind her change. The intention behind this suggestion.

I want to believe she has changed for the better. So bad. But last time I thought that, I was stabbed in the back and couldn't trust a 2nd time. I just couldn't. So we will see what all happens. It'll probably be when we all meet for the holidays tbh.

Having a rough day and my husband brought me a little boat of chips that taste like mid-autumn smoke and I'm utterly delighted and feeling a bit better.

(I triggered a pots flareup cleaning my kids' rooms. Then stubbed a toe, splitting the nail, ow. Then my eldest's impulse won and he headbutted me right in the eye socket. I'm having a day.)

Ok really though these chips are phenomenal.

Okay! Looks like the surgeon thinks it's okay to wait and monitor symptoms before going ahead with surgery. I'm relieved, for now. Hopefully the pain doesn't hit me again for another prolonged period of time.