Chronically Exhausted - Tumblr Posts
Slept last night from maybe 10:45pm to 1am. Couldn't sleep again after that. Was horrendously exhausted during the morning. Passed out (unexpectedly again) around 11am? Partner woke me up about 5pm because he was exhausted too from picking up my slack during my mini coma. Did evening routine then simply rested consciously the whole evening. Talked to some friends in discord. Then did night routine.
Got set up on a new game I'm playing tomorrow with friends, so that's exciting. (Got my bestie to download it too so she'll meet my discord pals in chat for the first time)
It's 1am and I'm unable to get settled to sleep again. This is exhausting.
I hate waking up and being ready to just go back to sleep again. No matter the amount of sleep.
30 minutes
3 hours
13 hours
I've even pulled a 30+ before (that was due to medication mixup and was scary but anyway)
Doesn't matter. Always exhausted. Always ready to hunker down for nap/sleep. Years and years of fatigue. I barely remember what it was like to be hyper and energetic and bouncing around ready for adventures.
Now I'm only ever mentally pining for adventures knowing full well my body wouldn't let me go and if I went anyway it'd be the last anyone saw of me.
I need to interrupt this pitiful whining with the observation that my youngest's silhouette right at this moment looks like shinchan standing on the dining room chair particularly his head-cheek shape and well that's all carryon
My chronically ill, always in pain ass, just got two toddlers and myself, showered. Husband helped during wiggly moments. While I'm now in physical HELL..... I still feel accomplished.
My entire back/shoulders are shot with pain. My chest is scratched up either because of the hair clip my youngest held as a distraction, or his nails I forgot to trim before the shower vs after.
Siiiigggghhhhhh
That's it. That is our/my activity of the day. There will be no more. We are relaxing the rest of the evening.
Only thing I'm not looking forward to is laying in bed. We lost most of our sheets when we moved, somehow, so we have 2 sheet sets. One has gone missing recently. The other is on the bed and currently nearing needing washed. The only sheets that don't agitate my skin are like $54 here 🫠🫠
Another thing I think a lot of people take for granted. Not having to have specific bedding that doesn't agitate their skin.
I cannot keep myself awake today. I keep passing out on the couch. First when lying down so I forced myself to sit upright, but kept passing out still.
Thankfully my husband will wake up and take over when our eldest wakes up from his nap here in a bit and I can get some actual rest vs my body force-shutting down in the living room. Well, as close to actual rest as I can get.
I hate how today is going. I had tasks to complete plus I wanted to be more involved today with the kiddos but it just doesn't seem to be my day today. (Not that any day is my day when chronically fatigued but anywayyyyy)
I wish rest was.... restful. I wish it was refreshing. I wish sleeping 13 hours didnt feel the same as 13 minutes. Never rejuvenated. Always perpetually drained. Shit sucks. My hands have been mean today especially too. All my joints inflamed. All muscles/tendons/whatever, aching terribly.
I'm so tired. So so tired....