It's Getting Better . . . Right?

It's getting better . . . right?

Inspired by this fanfic

uploaded on 04/11/21

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Ao3 // Wattpad

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I'm fine

Damian Wayne knew that no one wanted him around. He wasn’t an idiot. He noticed how everyone always seemed to look at him with a bit of distaste and revulsion wherever he went.

It made him feel like he didn’t belong with them. Like he was unwanted.

Didn’t his family notice how hard he was trying?

They never seemed to look past the fact that he was raised by assassins. They all assumed that he was nothing but a cold, bratty, killer.

And in a way, maybe they were right.

After all, the ones he was supposed to call his brothers didn’t even give him a chance.

Even the team he handpicked, hated him.

What was wrong with him?

If everyone seemed to hate him so much, there had to be something wrong with him. Right?

That’s what everyone at school seemed to believe.

Ever since someone leaked his number, his phone would always be filled with dozens of new messages. Not a single one of them was positive.

“KYS smart ass”

“U know that no one actually likes you, right?”

“U might be Bruce Wayne’s child but remember that u were nothing but a mistake”

“No one's going to like u with that attitude. No matter how hot you might be”

“isn’t it sad that no one likes you?”

“Do us all a favor and just kys”

And as if that wasn’t enough, everyone in his vigilante life seemed to always have something negative to say about him.

They didn’t even care that he was within earshot. In fact, he wholeheartedly believed that they wanted him to hear about all their complaints about him and his attitude.

He received their points loud and clear. No one there wanted him.

No matter how hard he tried, it would never be enough. Sometimes, he wanted to take his suit and run away, killing all the criminals that he deemed deserved it. He wanted to fight back and argue against them with the bratty behavior that everyone seemed to believe he was born with.

But.

It would only prove everyone right. It would only prove that he was nothing but a spoiled, worthless, ungrateful brat that doesn’t know how to take no for an answer.

Ever since Damian was given to his father, he has wanted nothing more than to gain his approval. He promised that he would become everything that Batman wanted and more.

Even if it meant that he had to pretend that their comments didn’t hurt him.

Damian stared back at his empty, plain wall.

A few minutes before he got back to the manor, the team had just completed another mission.

Damian was about to apologize because he felt like he was a bit too overbearing and bossy when he heard them complaining and criticizing him.

Again.

He froze, not knowing what to do.

“- Such a brat!” he heard someone growl. “Like how can someone be such a dick?”

The room filled with laughter and Emiko spoke up, “What did the kid do now?”

“He goes and gets mad at me for being incompetent or something. Like it’s not my fault I wasn’t raised by a crazy old hot assassin lady.” Wally snapped.

They were right, of course. Damian was raised in different circumstances. And he knew that he was a bit harsh. But he just didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

“‘If you don’t halt your tongue you useless speedster,” someone mockingly imitated, “You will perish under my sword.” That brought another round of fresh laughter to the tight group.

Not even the two people that Damian could probably call his friends could hold in their laughs.

“Why are you guys so mean to the small man?” Roundhouse asked, making the tense feeling inside Damian’s chest loosen up a bit.

Maybe they didn’t hate him as much as he thought they did.

He heard Emiko snort, “Please, that wanna-be is barely a man.”

He quickly got that foolish thought out of his head.

Wally muttered something that Damian couldn’t hear.

Emiko spoke up again, “You guys wanna know what Roy told me,” Damian assumed that the others nodded and he found himself leaning in as well. “He said that even his own brothers don’t like him. They just put up with him to make their dad happy. Actually, probably even his own father doesn’t want him.”

Damian ignored how tight his chest was getting. They were right after all. No matter how hard he tried, his father would never love him the way he loved Grayson, Todd, and Drake.

Wally laughed, “You’re probably right. I mean, didn’t his mom just force Batman to take him. The guy probably didn’t have a choice.”

“That must be tough.” someone huffed, “Being tossed around like trash.”

“He probably deserved it.”

Damian stood there, suddenly not wanting to face his team. Again, they were right. Maybe he did deserve it. No one wanted him around.

No one loved him.

He noticed that the talking from the room ceased and decided that maybe now would be a good time to quickly leave.

All he had to do was go in, use the zeta tubes, and he would be out of there.

Damian walked in the room, with the utmost confidence he could muster.

“Great!” Wally had an excited grin on his face, “I can’t wait to go-“ his voice trailed off when he spotted Damian walking in.

“Can’t wait for what?” he couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“We’re going to the movies!” Djinn answered for the speedster. “We wanted to do a bit of team bonding.” she gave him a bright smile.

Damian nodded in acceptance, hoping that his eyes didn’t betray the hurt he was feeling. Understanding the fact that no one wanted him around, he muttered a quick “Have fun.” Then left.

He should’ve known better than to know that they would invite him.

They probably just didn’t want him to ruin their bonding experience. It makes sense. Damian ruined everything. And he doesn’t even have to try.

It’s like all he had to do was step into a room and everyone’s mood suddenly spiraled down.

These feelings stirring up inside of him made him feel weak and useless. He was pathetic.

Damian stopped, why should he care about what they think? Their opinions should mean nothing to him.

Because father would want you to get along with them. His mind whispered. And even if you don’t want to admit it, you’ve grown fond of them. That’s why you want them to like you so much.

Damian sighed, deciding to take a shower. It’s not like he had anything better to do.

He left his phone on his bed, barely anyone but Alfred came into his room anyway.

The steaming hot water sprinkled across his brown skin. It hurt at first but Damian got used to it.

He didn’t know how long he stayed in the shower but when he heard the knock at the door, he immediately assumed that it was time for dinner.

“I’ll be there soon Alfred!” he called out, changing as fast as he could. He didn’t want to disappoint his father by showing up late.

“Sorry, but I’m not Alfred.”

“Grayson?” he asked, stepping out of the bathroom. “What are you doing here?”

“Do I need an excuse to visit my brother?” he grinned excitedly.

Damian wanted to nod and say yes. No one talked to him unless they had to. However, Damian stopped himself when he saw the glint of mischief in Grayson’s eyes.

Immediately putting up his guard, knowing nothing good happens when Nightwing himself is up to no good, he sneered. “I’m not up for your silly little games tonight.”

Grayson had the nerve to look hurt and pout. Damian ignored him, “Please Dami.” he begged, “I just want to spend some time with my brother.”

“Well, I don’t want to spend time with you.” Damian snapped, “Now if you excuse me, I have to go do... something.”

Grayson cheerfully grinned, ignoring everything Damian just said. “Since you have nothing better to do, let’s go hang out with your friends.” Before Damian could say that he didn’t have any friends and that Bruce needed to know if he ever went somewhere, Grayson lifted him up. “I already asked Dad. So come on! I want to meet your team.”

“It’s not like I have a choice.” Damian grumbled, “Can you put me down?”

“Nope.”

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When they arrived at the tower, Damian sat on the only empty seat left.

He was confused. Why was everyone here? Did they just bring him here so that they could talk about how bad of a person he was? Cause he honestly didn’t need a reminder.

He had a bad feeling about this meetup.

He soon became aware that everyone was watching him, “Don’t you guys have a movie to watch?”

“It was closed.”

“How would it be closed? It’s barely 10 o’clock.”

Crush looked at Todd and the boy rolled his eyes before speaking up. “Hey, brat. You do-”

“Don’t I get a welcome, Demon?” Drake suddenly interrupted, “Plus, last time I checked, you didn’t know what cinema they were going to, so how would you know what time it would close.”

“Tt, whatever.” he rolled his eyes, concealing how his chest seems to ache at the fact that his brothers they didn’t even care that were humiliating him in front of his team. “Can I go now?” he turned to Grayson, “I just remembered that I had to do something.”

It was an obvious lie. And from the snickers going on around the room, they knew it too. Damian didn’t bother to pretend to care. He needed to get out of here.

Something felt wrong.

Without waiting for Grayson’s answer he stood up and tried to walk towards the exit. However, judging by the fact that someone was blocking the door, it seemed like they didn’t want him to leave.

He turned around. “What do you guys want?” he demanded, hoping that they would get the hint that he didn’t want to stay here.

“I don’t know what they want,” Todd casually said, leaning forward. “But can you try this? Alfred gave me the recipe.”

Damian narrowed his eyes at the drink, running his hands through his dark, damp hair. A habit he only did when he was extremely nervous or when he had a very bad feeling. “And I should care about that because...?” He made his voice trail off.

Why won’t they leave him alone?

Everyone seemed to grit their teeth before Crush looked at him straight in the eye, an eyebrow mockingly raised. “Please don’t tell me that you're scared.”

Damian scoffed at the thought.

Him. Scared of a drink? As if.

He paused, he was wary of it though. Something definitely didn’t feel right. He wanted to leave before this whole thing further escalated.

It was like he was back in school and everyone was surrounding him so that he couldn’t walk away. Then somehow, everyone would make comments about how useless and stupid he was. Then they would push him around. Sometimes, they would even go as fast as going through his backpack and rip his notebooks apart.

It was humiliating.

Is that what they wanted? To humiliate Damian.

He was right. They really did hate him.

The fact that Damian didn’t answer his teammate’s question seemed to boost everyone’s confidence.

Damian noticed that they all had a glint of amusement in their eyes, probably enjoying the fact that he couldn’t leave.

Todd walked up to him, the mug in his hand. Damian couldn’t bring himself to move, he could only stare at the object.

Get out. his head seemed to scream. Get out!

He warily looked around, he couldn’t force himself out of this one. He was trapped and the walls just kept closing in.

“You know,” Emiko taunted. “What would happen if your father heard the fact that you declined a drink that your brother obviously worked hard on just for you?” she suddenly let out a mocking gasp, “Oh! What would the League do?”

“If dad found out,” Drake playfully commented, a hint of delight in his tone. As if he enjoyed how uncomfortable Damian felt. “You would probably be banned from patrol... again.”

Everyone around him laughed and Damian clenched his fists.

This wasn’t fair.

Why should it matter that he didn’t want to try the stupid drink that Drake made?

He tried to look at Grayson for help but he was laughing too. Why would his brother the older kid bring him here just to be made fun of?

He hated it here.

Did all of them hate him so much that they would gang up on him? Threatening him that they’ll snitch to Bruce so that he wouldn’t be able to be Robin anymore?

They couldn’t.

Damian refused to let them take away the only escape he had from his horrible life.

If all they wanted was for him to drink from that stupid mug, then he would.

He snatched the white mug- covered with bats from Todd’s hand. Not even bothering to check what was in it, he drank it all as fast as he could.

Before he could open his mouth to ask if he could leave now, his vision blurred. Dark spots seemed to be dancing around the room.

What was happening?

His head suddenly started to hurt. He tried to walk away but he stumbled, almost falling face-first to the floor when someone caught him.

Damian felt his body being carried and put down somewhere soft.

The last thing he noticed was the fact that everyone seemed to wear matching smirks. The exact smirks that seemed to make chills go down Damian’s spine all evening. Wally took out his phone, angling it to film something.

He heard the voices talking and he felt his mouth open as if answering a question.

His head still hurts.

He wanted the pain to go away.

Why wasn’t it going away?

He wanted to scream for help. It hurts. Everything hurts. But it was like he couldn’t bring the words out of his mouth.

He didn’t know if the reason he couldn’t ask for help was that he didn’t trust them or if he just physically couldn’t do it.

In the end, it didn’t matter. Damian’s small body slumped against the couch and his vision went dark.

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When his green eyes opened, he felt like Superman hit his head with as much strength as he could.

It hurts, the throbbing just wouldn’t stop and his eyes couldn’t focus. Everything was blurry and hazy.

He tried to get up but it was like his body failed him. He couldn’t move.

Suddenly, he felt someone put another blanket over his body. He looked up and noticed that all three of his father’s sons were there, staring at him with worried eyes.

They sat on his bed, “What’s wrong, Dami?” Todd asked in a worried tone.

“Nothing,” he muttered. “Why are you guys here?”

“We’re just worried for you, little bat.” Grayson softly argued, his hands playing with Damian’s dark hair.

“Why?” If he could, Damian would’ve winced at how pathetic he sounded. “ I mean, what happened?”

The older bats exchanged glances before Drake slowly answered his question, “There was a mission.” he faltered, “And you got hurt. Really badly.”

Damian frowned, the pain distracting him from focusing on anything else but the words being said to him. “I don’t remember going on a mission?” His eyes stared at theirs, “What was the mission again, exactly?”

Todd scooted closer to him and Damian wanted to scoot away, will he hurt him? “We’ll tell you everything later. Right now, you need to rest.”

Damian's head throbbed even more, “None of this makes sense. Where’s the team?” When the word team came out of his mouth, something inside Damian seemed to snap, he looked at them, obviously panicking as he asked, “How’s the team? Are they hurt? No one was drastically injured right?”

How could he be so selfish? Why was he focusing on himself so much? He should’ve focused on his team right when he woke up.

No wonder they hated him. He couldn’t even protect them properly.

Were they going to kick him out? Were they going to replace him as their leader? Were they g-

“Your team is fine,” Tim assured him, wrapping his arm around Damian, causing the small child to flinch. Drake quickly removed his arm, muttering a quick “Sorry.”

Noticing that the atmosphere has gotten tense and uncomfortable again, Damian couldn’t help but scold himself. Stupid, he just wanted to help you. Why did you have to flinch?

“They’re worried about you, you know.” Grayson suddenly spoke up.

Damian tilted his head in confusion, “Who?”

“Your team.”

“Why?” he questioned.

“Cause you’re hurt?” Todd supplied, as if it was obvious, exchanging quick glances with the others again.

“I just have a headache.” Damian argued before muttering a quiet, “Plus, they didn’t care before. So why would they care now.”

“They care because you’re their leader” Grayson gently answered.

Damian scrunched his eyebrows, so they didn’t want to replace Damian as the leader. Maybe he wasn’t as useless to the team as he thought. They might not like him but they probably believed he was valuable.

Damian nodded in understanding, “So you’re sure that no one's hurt.” he asked meekly. “Did you make sure that they were all okay?”

They might not like or care about him but Damian cared for them.

“They’re fine.” Todd mumbled, “Now, why don’t you go back to sleep.”

Grayson wrapped Damian around his arms, this time Damian tried his hardest not to flinch. It didn’t work but Grayson didn’t seem to notice or care.

He just didn’t want to turn the pleasant atmosphere into an awkward and sorrowful one.

“You’re never getting hurt again.” he heard Drake vow. “We’ll make sure of it.”

Damian wanted to mention they would not be able to keep that promise. They wouldn’t be there with him at every moment of his life.

Damian chose not to tell them down. As much as they wanted to believe that they knew Damian, they didn’t.

Plus, that promise was doomed from the start. After all, how could they protect Damian from themselves?

He also decided that he wouldn’t mention their strange behavior. He knew that they would go back to hating him tomorrow. Right now, all he wanted was to stay in the older kid’s arms.

For once in his life, Damian felt like he belonged. Like someone cared.

He only wished that this feeling would last forever.

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Note:

So I tried something new. What do you think?

Feel free to comment your thoughts and ideas on what I should add. I love reading them!

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send me writing prompts Jason Todd writing prompts please.

It's getting better . . . right?

A small dive into how Damian’s life at school is.

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Ao3 // Wattpad

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I'm confused (Part 2)

As Damian stepped onto the school grounds, he couldn’t help but feel a small amount of relief.

It was like school was the only place where nothing changed. Everyone treated him the same way they’ve always treated him before.

Even though Damian chose to listen to his heart, he still struggled to accept the fact that people cared for him.

The school was the only place of normalcy he had left.

Suddenly, Damian felt someone push him against a brick wall, driving him down on his knees.

He embraced the pain that he was feeling.

You wanted this.

You deserve this.

His face was forced upwards, causing his eyes to meet his tormentors.

Damian immediately noticed the face of the guy who pushed him.

Max Thornwell.

The guy was Damian’s age, 15 years old, yet he towered over Damian with a few inches.

The guy was adequate-looking. There was nothing special about him, blonde hair, brown eyes, and lean-ish build. But, the guy walked with the confidence of Superman. Like he ruled the school and no one could take the throne away from him.

Damian hated him but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to make the situation worse.

If he did, he would get in trouble again. And his father would send him the disappointed look that made Damian feel worthless. Then someone would make a comment about how he isn’t fit to be Robin anymore.

Damian needed to be Robin.

The feeling of freedom he felt when he put on the costume made him smile with glee.

If Damian believed in Greek mythology, Robin would be the string of his life. Take Robin away from him and he would be gone. Like a turtle retreating in his shell.

Without Robin, Damian would be a nobody with a family of somebodies.

He would be the shadow that no one notices. The one that everyone forgets. They would only realize he was there when they needed something. Or when they had a comment to make that’ll chip away the small amount of confidence he had left.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you, Wayne.” Max’s voice snarled, “Don’t tell me that you’re a pussy as well.” A cruel smirk settled in the blonde’s face as he heard the laughter of his peers echoing around him.

He kicked Damian in the stomach, causing the boy to wheeze in pain in front of the unexpected attack.

The laughter only got louder.

Tears began to form in his eyes but he refused to let them fall.

He would not cry in front of them.

Max leaned in, whispering in Damian’s ear so only he could hear what the boy was saying. “Don’t you think it’s sad that no one is defending you? Never forget the fact that no one likes you. The fact that one loves you.” he roughly shoved Damian’s shoulder, “Remember your place.”

Damian gritted his teeth. His body ached all over and it was like the headache he got a week ago came back.

He forced himself to reach for his backpack, only for someone to grab it right before his hand could even touch it.

His green eyes met cold blue ones.

Michelle Chuxtre.

Damian didn’t know much about her. But he heard many people comment about how “hot” or how “fine” she is. He guessed that she was one of those popular kids, meaning that she was probably there to have her fun at tormenting Damian.

As Damian stared at her, he understood how people could call her pretty. Her features would fit the beauty standard— blue eyes, dirty blonde hair, and a slim figure- but the mocking smirk she wore on her face made Damian feel uneasy.

It didn’t help that her eyes seemed to glint maliciously as she studied him.

She quickly glanced at the dirty backpack she was holding and her smirk only grew wider. “What are you hiding here?” she sarcastically asked, unzipping his backpack.

Damian winced, seeing all of his supplies fall on the ground.

She looked pleased with his reaction, stepping towards him, her shoe landing on one of his notebooks. “You understand why I had to do that right?” her voice was sympathetic as if she was actually sorry for her actions. “I just had to make sure you weren’t going to bomb the school or anything.”

Damian understood the implications of her sentence. She made it obvious enough so that the people around him understood it too.

Once Michelle left, the people around him soon followed. Their entertainment was done for the morning.

Even though Damian admitted that he was relieved at the fact that everything at school stayed the same, he couldn’t help but want to let a few tears fall.

You wanted this, he reminded himself, this is your fault.

As Damian struggled to get up, he noticed someone holding their hand out to him. He studied that hand for a few seconds before realizing that she wanted to help him up.

It’s probably a trick, his head supplied, she’ll probably push you back down.

Damian assumed that his head was right, so he accepted her hand wanting to get everything over with so that he could get to his classes. The girl pulled him up, kneeling and picking up the dropped objects from the ground.

He looked at her with confusion, “What are you doing?”

“Helping you.”

His voice faltered, “But why?”

She froze and turned to him.

It was the first time that Damian saw her face properly. She was new. The girl was no doubt Filipino. She had the trademark dark brown hair that glowed in the sun. Though, he could see that she had blonde highlights as well. Her eyes were the same as her hair. At first glance, you would believe that they were black yet in the sun, they were a beautiful golden color. She also had the same tone of skin as him.

Judging by the uniform she was wearing, she was going to be attending school with him. Meaning that they would be the only two people that weren’t white in the building.

“Because you needed help.” the girl firmly said. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” he winced in pain as he tried to walk, “I’m used to it.”

I asked for it.

“That’s not something you should get used to,” she firmly said, handing him the dirty backpack.

“Thank you.” He muttered softly.

“You’re welcome.” The dark-haired girl gave him a bright smile, “I’m Auda. Auda Arison.”

He returned it with a hesitant smile, “I’m Damian.” he repeated her gesture. “Damian Wayne.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Damian.” she looked around, realizing that there wasn’t another person in sight. “Since there’s no one else here, can you show me where the office is?”

Damian only nodded, walking forward as he gestured for the Filipino to follow him.

As they walked in, eyes seemed to follow them. Damian ignored them, used to people watching and silently critiquing his every move.

His eyes glanced at the girl walking beside him and she seemed deep in thought. She probably wasn’t aware of the eyes watching her.

They walked to the office in comfortable silence.

“Thank you”. she said when they arrived at the front.

“You’re welcome.” With those final words, he walked away, not bothering to give the girl a second glance.

—

Lunch was Damian’s least favorite part of the school day. He had no friends, so he had no one to sit with

And there was always a chance that someone would accidentally spill their food and beverage over him.

Damian wondered how his family would react if they found out what the kids in the school were doing.

Would they care?

Damian likes to think so.

But, his brain told him, they probably don’t.

Why can’t you just shut up for once? His heart complained.

Because you guys are acting stupid. It insisted. They don’t care. And they don’t!

Yes, they do!

No, they don’t.

Yes, they do!

No-

Yes!

His brain sighed, They only act as they care. It’s probably another scheme for them to humiliate and hurt you.

You’re wrong. His heart argued.

I hope so. His head resigned, I really do.

Damian’s back slumped against the wall, unable to focus on the book he was reading.

Did he make the wrong choice when he gave his brothers a chance?

Hopefully not.

He liked hanging out with them. He liked how they included him in things. And he liked how they don’t only talk to each other, so he could get insulted.

Damian felt someone grab the book from his hand.

What the-

Laughter echoed around the room as he felt water drip into his shirt. He shot up from his chair, trying to figure out what just happened.

His eyes analyzed the room. The librarian was gone and a crowd of 6 people was crowding him.

He notices that Max was holding his book, flipping through the pages before throwing it to one of his friends.

“Are you planning on bombing the school or something?” Max taunted him.

Damian rolled his eyes, “No. That book was just in Arabic” he couldn’t help but spit it out.

Max only smirked, “So the little terrorist finally started to talk.”

Damian tried not to flinch.

No fights. He reminded himself. Father will take Robin away.

Damian took a step back, hoping that Max would see it as him giving up.

It worked.

The boy’s face stretched into a victorious grin. “For a Wayne, you sure are pathetic.”

Someone held Damian’s arms so that he couldn’t run as Max walked slowly forward.

Like a predator stalking his prey.

Damian didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t just break away from his peer’s grip. But if he stayed, he would be left at Max’s mercy.

He scared Damian in a way that no villain ever could.

When Damian fought a criminal, he usually knew what the outcome would be. He would either live or he would die.

And he was fine with that.

But socializing?

It wasn’t his territory.

Damian was created to be a perfect clone of Batman. He was raised to be a warrior. He was raised to fight.

To kill.

Damian didn’t know how to interact with people properly. He only somewhat understands social cues when it comes to manipulation. But when he opens his mouth, he would have no filter.

And why should he?

That’s how he was raised.

And he was trying so hard to change.

In galas, he could put on the act that people wanted to see.

He would be Damian Wayne, the adorable, intelligent, charming, heartthrob son of Bruce Wayne.

He would play it nice, entertain the ones older than him with his vibrant eyes and appealing smiles. Ignoring how they seemed to eye his skin with distaste.

He would pretend that he didn’t hear whispers of how he would be the perfect Wayne if it wasn’t for his skin color.

He would pretend that it didn’t hurt because they didn’t say it right to his face.

But at school?

People didn’t try to hide what they thought of it.

They acted like everything they did to him was justified.

It didn’t help that Damian never tried to fit in with them. He distanced himself, speaking coldly to anyone that approached him.

The students began to dislike him pretty quickly. In their eyes, Damian should’ve felt lucky that they had even given him a chance.

In Damian’s eyes, they were racist. It wasn't that hard to tell. Everyone at the school was white— teachers, students, janitors— you name it. And from how they treated Damian on his first few days, they also had a white-savior mentality.

Growing up, Damian was taught the stereotypes people had regarding their race.

It wasn’t pretty.

Damian remembered staying up late in the small space he called home, wondering how people could assume such horrible things towards a group of people because of another man’s crime.

It wasn’t fair.

But even at his young age, Damian knew that nothing in life was fair.

And he accepted that.

So Damian stayed, pretending that he couldn’t break out of his peer’s grip. Max’s brown eyes met him maliciously.

He held his hand out and someone handed him Damian’s book.

“How much do you like this book?”

Damian refused to answer.

“Answer me, brat.”

“That book does not hold any value to me.” Damian spat out.

“I don’t believe you.”

Couldn’t he just get it over with?

Max glared at Damian, unsatisfied with his reaction. He threw the book on the ground as he stormed out, his goons quickly following.

Damian let out a sigh of relief as soon as they were out of sight. He picked up his book, inspecting it carefully.

He needed to make sure that the book was unharmed. It was the one thing that his mom had given him before she quickly tossed Damian away like trash.

Stupid. He scolded himself, you should’ve known better than to bring a prized possession to school.

The bell rang and he quickly hid the book in his backpack, not noticing how a girl pocketed her phone with narrowed eyes.

—

Damian would like to say that no one else bothered him for the rest of the day. But that would be a lie.

His lockers were filled with more sickening messages and everywhere he went, glares and whispers seemed to follow him.

He just wanted to go home.

He wanted to be Robin.

No, he needed to be Robin.

He just wanted to get away from the school.

He didn’t think that he bothered anyone today. All he did was defend himself against Max.

Was that so bad?

Everything we do seems to be bad. His heart couldn't help but whisper.

His brain didn’t argue.

I don’t think you guys understand just how much I hate Jason’s quote.

Jason was killed because he heard one of the only adults he trusted say that he would turn out just like his father. That was the reason that he ran away.

And even then, it wasn’t his fault that he got killed. He was killed because his mom tricked him. All Jason wanted was for someone to love him.

Plus, I don’t think that Jason ever saw being Robin as “just a game”. He grew up on the streets. He knows just how much crap all the people that live there go through. Could you blame him for breaking more bones than necessary??

They deserved it. And can we please talk about how fucked it up it was for DC to have Jason beat up a bunch of rapists and murderers (people who- like I said- deserved it) only to have people from the superhero community comment on him being too rough on them? Like no.

Fuck all of you and your hypocrisy.

— Batman. 

It's getting better . . . right?

A small dive into how Damian’s life at school is.

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Ao3 // Wattpad

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I'm confused (Part 2)

As Damian stepped onto the school grounds, he couldn’t help but feel a small amount of relief.

It was like school was the only place where nothing changed. Everyone treated him the same way they’ve always treated him before.

Even though Damian chose to listen to his heart, he still struggled to accept the fact that people cared for him.

The school was the only place of normalcy he had left.

Suddenly, Damian felt someone push him against a brick wall, driving him down on his knees.

He embraced the pain that he was feeling.

You wanted this.

You deserve this.

His face was forced upwards, causing his eyes to meet his tormentors.

Damian immediately noticed the face of the guy who pushed him.

Max Thornwell.

The guy was Damian’s age, 15 years old, yet he towered over Damian with a few inches.

The guy was adequate-looking. There was nothing special about him, blonde hair, brown eyes, and lean-ish build. But, the guy walked with the confidence of Superman. Like he ruled the school and no one could take the throne away from him.

Damian hated him but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to make the situation worse.

If he did, he would get in trouble again. And his father would send him the disappointed look that made Damian feel worthless. Then someone would make a comment about how he isn’t fit to be Robin anymore.

Damian needed to be Robin.

The feeling of freedom he felt when he put on the costume made him smile with glee.

If Damian believed in Greek mythology, Robin would be the string of his life. Take Robin away from him and he would be gone. Like a turtle retreating in his shell.

Without Robin, Damian would be a nobody with a family of somebodies.

He would be the shadow that no one notices. The one that everyone forgets. They would only realize he was there when they needed something. Or when they had a comment to make that’ll chip away the small amount of confidence he had left.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you, Wayne.” Max’s voice snarled, “Don’t tell me that you’re a pussy as well.” A cruel smirk settled in the blonde’s face as he heard the laughter of his peers echoing around him.

He kicked Damian in the stomach, causing the boy to wheeze in pain in front of the unexpected attack.

The laughter only got louder.

Tears began to form in his eyes but he refused to let them fall.

He would not cry in front of them.

Max leaned in, whispering in Damian’s ear so only he could hear what the boy was saying. “Don’t you think it’s sad that no one is defending you? Never forget the fact that no one likes you. The fact that one loves you.” he roughly shoved Damian’s shoulder, “Remember your place.”

Damian gritted his teeth. His body ached all over and it was like the headache he got a week ago came back.

He forced himself to reach for his backpack, only for someone to grab it right before his hand could even touch it.

His green eyes met cold blue ones.

Michelle Chuxtre.

Damian didn’t know much about her. But he heard many people comment about how “hot” or how “fine” she is. He guessed that she was one of those popular kids, meaning that she was probably there to have her fun at tormenting Damian.

As Damian stared at her, he understood how people could call her pretty. Her features would fit the beauty standard— blue eyes, dirty blonde hair, and a slim figure- but the mocking smirk she wore on her face made Damian feel uneasy.

It didn’t help that her eyes seemed to glint maliciously as she studied him.

She quickly glanced at the dirty backpack she was holding and her smirk only grew wider. “What are you hiding here?” she sarcastically asked, unzipping his backpack.

Damian winced, seeing all of his supplies fall on the ground.

She looked pleased with his reaction, stepping towards him, her shoe landing on one of his notebooks. “You understand why I had to do that right?” her voice was sympathetic as if she was actually sorry for her actions. “I just had to make sure you weren’t going to bomb the school or anything.”

Damian understood the implications of her sentence. She made it obvious enough so that the people around him understood it too.

Once Michelle left, the people around him soon followed. Their entertainment was done for the morning.

Even though Damian admitted that he was relieved at the fact that everything at school stayed the same, he couldn’t help but want to let a few tears fall.

You wanted this, he reminded himself, this is your fault.

As Damian struggled to get up, he noticed someone holding their hand out to him. He studied that hand for a few seconds before realizing that she wanted to help him up.

It’s probably a trick, his head supplied, she’ll probably push you back down.

Damian assumed that his head was right, so he accepted her hand wanting to get everything over with so that he could get to his classes. The girl pulled him up, kneeling and picking up the dropped objects from the ground.

He looked at her with confusion, “What are you doing?”

“Helping you.”

His voice faltered, “But why?”

She froze and turned to him.

It was the first time that Damian saw her face properly. She was new. The girl was no doubt Filipino. She had the trademark dark brown hair that glowed in the sun. Though, he could see that she had blonde highlights as well. Her eyes were the same as her hair. At first glance, you would believe that they were black yet in the sun, they were a beautiful golden color. She also had the same tone of skin as him.

Judging by the uniform she was wearing, she was going to be attending school with him. Meaning that they would be the only two people that weren’t white in the building.

“Because you needed help.” the girl firmly said. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” he winced in pain as he tried to walk, “I’m used to it.”

I asked for it.

“That’s not something you should get used to,” she firmly said, handing him the dirty backpack.

“Thank you.” He muttered softly.

“You’re welcome.” The dark-haired girl gave him a bright smile, “I’m Auda. Auda Arison.”

He returned it with a hesitant smile, “I’m Damian.” he repeated her gesture. “Damian Wayne.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Damian.” she looked around, realizing that there wasn’t another person in sight. “Since there’s no one else here, can you show me where the office is?”

Damian only nodded, walking forward as he gestured for the Filipino to follow him.

As they walked in, eyes seemed to follow them. Damian ignored them, used to people watching and silently critiquing his every move.

His eyes glanced at the girl walking beside him and she seemed deep in thought. She probably wasn’t aware of the eyes watching her.

They walked to the office in comfortable silence.

“Thank you”. she said when they arrived at the front.

“You’re welcome.” With those final words, he walked away, not bothering to give the girl a second glance.

—

Lunch was Damian’s least favorite part of the school day. He had no friends, so he had no one to sit with

And there was always a chance that someone would accidentally spill their food and beverage over him.

Damian wondered how his family would react if they found out what the kids in the school were doing.

Would they care?

Damian likes to think so.

But, his brain told him, they probably don’t.

Why can’t you just shut up for once? His heart complained.

Because you guys are acting stupid. It insisted. They don’t care. And they don’t!

Yes, they do!

No, they don’t.

Yes, they do!

No-

Yes!

His brain sighed, They only act as they care. It’s probably another scheme for them to humiliate and hurt you.

You’re wrong. His heart argued.

I hope so. His head resigned, I really do.

Damian’s back slumped against the wall, unable to focus on the book he was reading.

Did he make the wrong choice when he gave his brothers a chance?

Hopefully not.

He liked hanging out with them. He liked how they included him in things. And he liked how they don’t only talk to each other, so he could get insulted.

Damian felt someone grab the book from his hand.

What the-

Laughter echoed around the room as he felt water drip into his shirt. He shot up from his chair, trying to figure out what just happened.

His eyes analyzed the room. The librarian was gone and a crowd of 6 people was crowding him.

He notices that Max was holding his book, flipping through the pages before throwing it to one of his friends.

“Are you planning on bombing the school or something?” Max taunted him.

Damian rolled his eyes, “No. That book was just in Arabic” he couldn’t help but spit it out.

Max only smirked, “So the little terrorist finally started to talk.”

Damian tried not to flinch.

No fights. He reminded himself. Father will take Robin away.

Damian took a step back, hoping that Max would see it as him giving up.

It worked.

The boy’s face stretched into a victorious grin. “For a Wayne, you sure are pathetic.”

Someone held Damian’s arms so that he couldn’t run as Max walked slowly forward.

Like a predator stalking his prey.

Damian didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t just break away from his peer’s grip. But if he stayed, he would be left at Max’s mercy.

He scared Damian in a way that no villain ever could.

When Damian fought a criminal, he usually knew what the outcome would be. He would either live or he would die.

And he was fine with that.

But socializing?

It wasn’t his territory.

Damian was created to be a perfect clone of Batman. He was raised to be a warrior. He was raised to fight.

To kill.

Damian didn’t know how to interact with people properly. He only somewhat understands social cues when it comes to manipulation. But when he opens his mouth, he would have no filter.

And why should he?

That’s how he was raised.

And he was trying so hard to change.

In galas, he could put on the act that people wanted to see.

He would be Damian Wayne, the adorable, intelligent, charming, heartthrob son of Bruce Wayne.

He would play it nice, entertain the ones older than him with his vibrant eyes and appealing smiles. Ignoring how they seemed to eye his skin with distaste.

He would pretend that he didn’t hear whispers of how he would be the perfect Wayne if it wasn’t for his skin color.

He would pretend that it didn’t hurt because they didn’t say it right to his face.

But at school?

People didn’t try to hide what they thought of it.

They acted like everything they did to him was justified.

It didn’t help that Damian never tried to fit in with them. He distanced himself, speaking coldly to anyone that approached him.

The students began to dislike him pretty quickly. In their eyes, Damian should’ve felt lucky that they had even given him a chance.

In Damian’s eyes, they were racist. It wasn't that hard to tell. Everyone at the school was white— teachers, students, janitors— you name it. And from how they treated Damian on his first few days, they also had a white-savior mentality.

Growing up, Damian was taught the stereotypes people had regarding their race.

It wasn’t pretty.

Damian remembered staying up late in the small space he called home, wondering how people could assume such horrible things towards a group of people because of another man’s crime.

It wasn’t fair.

But even at his young age, Damian knew that nothing in life was fair.

And he accepted that.

So Damian stayed, pretending that he couldn’t break out of his peer’s grip. Max’s brown eyes met him maliciously.

He held his hand out and someone handed him Damian’s book.

“How much do you like this book?”

Damian refused to answer.

“Answer me, brat.”

“That book does not hold any value to me.” Damian spat out.

“I don’t believe you.”

Couldn’t he just get it over with?

Max glared at Damian, unsatisfied with his reaction. He threw the book on the ground as he stormed out, his goons quickly following.

Damian let out a sigh of relief as soon as they were out of sight. He picked up his book, inspecting it carefully.

He needed to make sure that the book was unharmed. It was the one thing that his mom had given him before she quickly tossed Damian away like trash.

Stupid. He scolded himself, you should’ve known better than to bring a prized possession to school.

The bell rang and he quickly hid the book in his backpack, not noticing how a girl pocketed her phone with narrowed eyes.

—

Damian would like to say that no one else bothered him for the rest of the day. But that would be a lie.

His lockers were filled with more sickening messages and everywhere he went, glares and whispers seemed to follow him.

He just wanted to go home.

He wanted to be Robin.

No, he needed to be Robin.

He just wanted to get away from the school.

He didn’t think that he bothered anyone today. All he did was defend himself against Max.

Was that so bad?

Everything we do seems to be bad. His heart couldn't help but whisper.

His brain didn’t argue.

XY’s Muse

The date is finally here

uploaded on 04/10/21

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Ao3 // Wattpad

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Chapter 10

Waiting for Marinette in front of her parents’ bakery made XY feel nervous. He felt like a thousand red ants were crawling all over him and they were ready to bite him as soon as he messed something up.

He shook that thought out of his head. He was not going to mess this up. He did not have a breakdown over this date for nothing.

I got this, he repeated in his head, I got this

I will not mess this up.

I am XY, one of the most popular musicians in all of France. A small date with a gorgeous girl should not make me this nervous.

I got this.

I got this.

I got th-

XY gulped. He does not “got this”.

In front of him was Marinette in all her glory. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Marinette was wearing an off-shoulder black and white polka-dot dress that went just right above her knees. Her hair was down and wavy. She looked like Aphrodite in disguise.

“Woah” he managed to say, “You look great.”

“Thank you.” Marinette gave him a soft, pretty smile. “You look amazing as well.”

“Did you make that dress yourself?” He couldn’t help but ask curiously.

She gave him a shy nod, “Yeah. I did. A small friend of mine actually helped me pick this.” Her dark blue eyes twinkled with delight, “I was really nervous that you would think that I looked bad.”

He stared at her in shock. “You could never look bad in anything.” He sincerely said, before smirking at her red face. XY liked it when he made the pretty dark-haired girl blush. “After all, you’re the only person I know who can pull off pigtails.”

Marinette pouted, making XY’s heartbeat beat a little faster. How can someone be this adorable? She playfully hit his arm. “So, where are we going today? Xavier.”

He turned away from her so that she couldn’t see his face heating up. She knew the effect she has on him and the way she says his name proves it. But XY knew he had the same effect on her. The blush that was on her face a few minutes ago proved it. He narrowed his eyes and smirked, their blue eyes meeting. Two can play at that game. “Follow me, princess.”

He gently grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the bakery, not bothering to look at her face. From the random noises she was making, he knew that she was flustered. It was one of his favorite traits about her.

XY ignored the people staring at them. He would normally be annoyed but this time he understood why they were all staring. Marinette looked absolutely breathtaking. He honestly didn’t know whether to smack the boys in her class or thank them.

How could anyone let a beauty like her stay single? He mentally scoffed, I guess Adrien isn’t the only blind person at that school.

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Whenever Marinette was nervous or flustered, she couldn’t form words correctly. It was like there were a million things that she wanted to say but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. It made her jumble up her words, making the things that came out of her mouth as ‘nonsense.’

She didn't know whether she felt relieved or annoyed when Xavier let go of her arm. Marinette was glad that she could get her mind to calm down so that she could speak properly but she missed the feeling of his hand on her body. It made her feel warm. It made her feel safe.

“So,” she heard Xavier ask nervously. “What do you think?”

Marinette was confused. “What do you me-” She glanced at their surroundings and it was like she forgot how to speak. It was beautiful. “Woah. This is- Woah.”

Xavier let out a small laugh that made Marinette’s stomach fill up with butterflies. “I’m guessing you like it?”

Marinette nodded in excitement. “I love it!”

Xavier led Marinette to a beautiful garden. There was a small stream flowing through the side and there were bushes covered with roses. White butterflies were flying around and landed on the flowers. It was absolutely breathtaking.

“I’m glad you like it.” he sheepishly said. “After everything you told me about the drama that you’ve had to deal with, I felt like you needed a peaceful getaway.”

Marinette’s face started to heat up. “You didn’t have to do all of this, you know. A simple movie date would’ve been fine.”

He sent her a bright smile that would have made any girl's knees buckle, “I know.” he said. “But I wanted to. You deserve nothing but the best after all.”

He held out his hand and she gladly took it. Xavier led her to a casual red and white checkered picnic blanket with a basket in the middle.

The date hasn’t even started and Marinette already wanted to kiss him.

Instead, she looked around. Noticing the lack of people, she couldn’t help but ask “Where is everyone? A beautiful place like this should have more than two people in it.”

“Oh, yeah,” Xavier said casually. “I paid the owners of this garden to make sure that no unwelcome guests arrive.”  

Marinette wasn’t sure whether she wanted to hit him for wasting his money on her or hug him because it’s the sweetest thing that anyone’s ever done for her. So, she let out a small “Oh.” instead.

That caused her date to pause. “Is it too much?”

“No!” Marinette panicked, not wanting him to think that she hated it. “It’s perfect. I just wish you didn’t spend this much money on this date.”

“Oh,” Xavier said in realization. “If it helps, maybe you could think of it as me not wanting the paparazzi to interrupt my date with a beautiful girl.” He patted on the empty space next to him. “Now come on. If we wait any longer, then the food will get cold.”

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XY had no idea how long his date with Marinette lasted. In his opinion, it wasn’t long enough. He could spend all day listening to her ramble about anything.

He liked her so much. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt like this. It was like he could fly and touch the clouds. There was something about Marinette that just pulled him towards her. He felt like they instantly clicked.

He was walking Marinette home and he couldn’t help but notice the way she glowed underneath the moonlight. She was absolutely breathtaking.

He loved how they could never run out of anything to talk about. It was a breath of fresh air from the usual arguments XY always got himself into.

Whenever he was around her, he felt at balance. He didn’t know how to explain it. It was like she was good luck to his bad luck.

Marinette stopped walking and looked at him with her bluebell eyes. “We're here.”

“Yeah,” he muttered, a bit disappointed that he couldn’t spend any more time with her.

“I had a lot of fun today. Can we maybe do it again?”

His eyes suddenly met hers and he grinned. “Yeah!” he said excitedly. “Whenever you're free. I would love to hang out with you again.”

She sent him a bright smile before she leaned forward, kissing his cheek. “Great.” she hurriedly said, her face bright red. “I think I hear my parents calling me. I-better-go!” she rushed inside as XY stayed frozen in shock.

He hesitantly touched the cheek that she kissed. “Best day of my life.” he couldn’t help but whisper.

Deleted scene:

Marinette stared at Tikki, she was about to open her mouth when her kwami interrupted her. “No Marinette,” Tikki sighed in annoyance. “XY is not Chat Noir.”

“How do you know?”

“Cause I literally know who Chat Noir is.”

“Exactly!” Marinette exclaimed. “You could be lying.”

Tikki glared at Marinette, crossing her tiny arms. “For kwami’s sake, Marinette. You’ve been asking me this ever since your date ended with Prince Charming.” Before Marinette could reply, Tikki yelled. “Just let me eat my cookies in peace!”

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