It's Another Day, Time For More Attempts At Poetry

it's another day, time for more attempts at poetry

More embarrassing seventeen-syllable poetry.

-O-o-O-

Blue eyes in the dark.

Moonlight flashes off his charm.

The green eyes open.

-O-o-O-

Such arches, such balls.

Finely sculpted toes and heels.

"Must lick James's feet."

-O-o-O-

The cat wants to play.

Tonight, Jessie is away.

"Ay, James, want sum fucc?"

a piece of media that is bad: mundane. effectless

a piece of media that is bad but had the potential to be so so good: unbearable. agonizing. soul crushing even

Character is a cowboy. He’s settled in a cabin after finding out he’s pregnant, when someone from his past has found out where he lives.

I love abusive ships, probably a bit too much, but do you know what I also love??

Where you'd think a ship would be abusive as fuck and its actually healthy. Like, the two most toxic blorbos you know get together and everyone is expecting the nasty divorce. It never comes. Instead, the two of them start a cult/mlm scheme together.

The Sad Saga of James Morgan and Company: The Trouble Is Made Double

In which James loses his blood innocence (first kill drama) but gains a doppelganger.

This fic contains: Colorful language; possible out-of-character moments for James and Meowth; convoluted occult lore; murderous, occult-powered Jessiebelle; ellipses abuse; original characters; blood and violence (including sexual violence); Jessiebelle slut-shames James a lot; Jessie is still dead; Jesus Hades Christ eleven!me tortured James (and Meowth!) a lot in fic (and then I decided one James wasn't enough); James still has magical powers

-O-o-O-o-O-

*Jessiebelle kidnaps James again. Meowth meets Lenny and they both follow.

*At the dungeon, Jessiebelle has a new guard named Tyrel, who looks down at James mockingly.

Jessiebelle: Tyrel, help me find a way to punish this strumpet. James: I'm no strumpet! I'm still a virgin! Jessiebelle: I would've thought you'd sin with Tylas or Lucian. James: Don't you say their names. Tyrel: If you want, I could dig them up for you. James: I will beat the piss out of you. Tyrel: I'd like to see you try, whore-lock.

*James starts punching and kicking Tyrel. Tyrel is bigger than him, so his fighting doesn't do anything.

Tyrel: You're so soft. Will you love me like the other guards?

*Tyrel grabs James's ass and pulls him down. James bites Tyrel on his dick.

Tyrel: Get this crazy ho off my fuckin' dick!

*Meowth and Lenny come in. Jessiebelle whips James.

Meowth: He fights good, in a dirty way.

*Jessiebelle pulls James off Tyrel's dick. Meowth and Lenny get James out of there.

Meowth: That was weird. James: He grabbed my arse and called me a whore. Meowth: Now I see why you did that.

*Suddenly, a trap closes around James's leg. He shrieks.

Meowth: What's wrong? James: I think Jessiebelle set a trap and I fell into it.

*Meowth and Lenny pry the trap open and get James's leg out, somehow managing to avoid the powder smeared on it. James looks relieved until he sees the powder seeping into his skin. His eyes widen.

Meowth: What's wrong? James: It has poison on it. (winces) I'm starting to think the universe has something against me. Meowth: You and me both.

*James continues to put antidote on the poison.

James: (sighs) I'm just a bad luck charm. If life was a test, I'd get an "F." You're probably better off without me. Meowth: Don't say that. (grabs James's hands) We're stronger as a team. I will not leave you behind.

*They manage to keep away from Jessiebelle and Tyrel for a while.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Tyrel made James so mad, he did an awful thing.

*James, Meowth, and Lenny are walking through the woods. Tyrel kidnaps James. Meowth and Lenny follow them (as usual). Tyrel does everything to torture James. Jessiebelle just stands by watching and smiling at the whole scene. Tyrel grabs James's nether areas. James tries to kick Tyrel. Tyrel pushes James against a wall with his foot. James gets away from the wall and punches Tyrel. Tyrel grabs James.

Tyrel: You are a disgrace and dishonorable for refusing to marry Jessiebelle. You must be punished! James: Let go of me!

*James starts fighting like mad. He grabs the pure death knife and stabs Tyrel three times. Tyrel is dead.

James: What have I done? Jessiebelle: (smirking) Congratulations, James. Your first kill.

*James just whimpers.

Jessiebelle: You should be happy. You didn't even like him. James: I drew blood. I killed someone. Jessiebelle: And the really funny part is, I controlled you and made you kill him. (laughs)

*James snarls and glares at Jessiebelle.

James: Leave me alone.

*Meowth and Lenny drag him out of there. James is pale.

Meowth: Are you okay? James: No.

*James begins to cry quietly.

James: I hate Tyrel. And I hate Jessiebelle. (sobs) Meowth: I know how you feel.

*Meowth puts his arms around James. James hugs Meowth. They stay like that for a long time. Neither of them are thinking about Jessiebelle's newest guard.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Jessiebelle got a new guard. This guard really surprises James and Meowth.

*Their day starts out just like any other. Walking along, minding their own business, trying to avoid death. Then Jessiebelle grabs James inconspicuously. Meowth and Lenny follow. Jessiebelle takes James to her dungeon.

James: What more could you possibly want to do to me? Jessiebelle: Don't you want to meet my new guard? James: I'd rather not. Jessiebelle: Well, you're going to see him anyway. Evander, you can come out now. Evander: Is he here?

*Evander's voice sounds very familiar to James, but with a different accent.

Jessiebelle: Don't be shy. Come meet your target.

*A black-clad boy comes out of the shadows. James gasps. The boy looks exactly like James. The same hair, the same body type, the same face. And he's smirking evilly and James is staring at him, horrified.

Evander: What are you staring at, James? James: You have my face.

*Evander looks straight into James's eyes. His eyes are an icy shade of pale green, much colder than James's emerald green eyes.

Evander: Not exactly. I have the same Pokémon, too. James: No, you don't. You can't. Evander: You're right. Koffing and Weepinbel aren't the same as Weezing and Victreebel.

*James faints from the shock and from staring into Evander's eyes.

Meowth: What have you done to him?! Evander: He can't handle my Glare.

*Evander pimp slaps James. James wakes up, covered in sweat.

Evander: Did you have a nice nap?

*James just snarls and scowls at him in a very undignified way.

Jessiebelle: Good boy, Evander. Evander: Thank you, Master.

*Jessiebelle pats Evander on the head. Evander smiles like a dog getting patted on the head.

James: If you're so obedient, why don't you marry Jessiebelle? Evander: Because I'm helping her marry you. And I'm not suited to become the sacrifice. Jessiebelle: Leave Team Rocket. Marry me. James: No. I won't leave Meowth. Evander: Come now, the Temple Witch told you you're no good at it. James: That Temple was a trap! You disrespected Tylas's spirit!

*Evander hits James across the face.

Evander: Don't you tell us about disrespect, trollop!

*Evander takes out a Pokéball and releases a Persian.

Evander: Persian, fury swipes!

*Persian scratches James. He cries out in pain. Evander calls out an Arcanine.

Evander: His name is Archie. James: Copycat. Evander: Archie, bite him!

*Archie bites James. James screams. Evander calls back Archie and Persian. He starts beating James himself. He continues to whip James even after he's unconscious.

Meowth: Get away from James!

*Meowth slashes his way in and fights off Evander. He and Lenny get James out of there. He's covered in blood. Meowth collects some of the blood, cleans James up, and takes care of his wounds. James wakes up.

James: Is he gone? Meowth: Don't worry. He's not here.

*James begins to cry silently.

James: Why did she have to get a guard that looks exactly like me? Why did I have to kill that other guard? Meowth: It was self defense. James: That was my first kill ever. Meowth: I hate to say it, but you might have to do it again.

*James looks at Meowth, horrified.

Meowth: You have to kill Evander. James: No! I couldn't! Meowth: But if you don't kill him, he'll kill you!

*James shakes his head.

James: I'm not killing anymore. Tyrel will be my first and last kill. I can't kill Evander. Meowth: Then what are we going to do? James: I don't know. But there has to be another way.

*To be continued….

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: If you keep saying "Make it double," one day a fic writer will actually take you up on it.

while trying to summon the haiku bot, i got inspired

So now you get haiku-ish arrangements of words about blueshipping.

-O-o-O-

Meowth, the charmed cat.

James, his quirky human queen.

Sailing the blue ship.

-O-o-O-

He did it again.

Went and fell for a rich kid.

Who needs Meowzie?

-O-o-O-

The lovers blast off.

"Get a room," Jessie tells them.

A tent is fine, too.

-O-o-O-

A tryst in the woods.

"What's that rustling in the bush?"

Oh, shit. It's the twerps.

-O-o-O-

A breeze up his skirt.

The tom cat fondles his queen.

"Oh, my, that tickles!"

-O-o-O-

This is not Professor Oak's poetry.