Joel And Ellie

Joel and Ellie

Quite tired and smelly

Joel is not doing welly

Ellie needs to fill his belly

rode off on Callus, then she felly

woke up with a cannibal locked in a celly

Killed a man and ran through a deli

David sucks, his brain are now jellie

Joel is being a nervous Nellie

gets there too late after she’s been through helly

He calls her baby girl as I cry at my telly

Write Like a Sadist: Tips and Tricks for Torturing Your Ships!

Hello and welcome back to WLAS! The place to be if you want everyone reading your stories to suffer!

Tip 1: Does your ship have issues? Big issues? Such as fundamentally different worldviews or polar opposite ways of thinking? Many ships do, and in a good story that ends in a confrontation that either brings them closer or pushes them to break up, well we hear at WLAS don’t write good stories, we write ‘fuck you’ stories! Have there be a major source of contention that both of your characters tip-toe around and snap at each other about and NEVER resolve it! There should be NO catharsis! DO NOT CATHART!!! Tip 2: Does one of your characters have a significant amount of trauma? I bet they do! One way to make your readers scream at you through the pages of your story is to have that character open up about it to their love interest, only for the love interest to be a massive asshole about it! It may ruin that character and the whole relationship, but as we always say at WLAS, ‘make everyone suck and be awful all the time, no exceptions’.

That’s all for today, folks! And remember, writing isn’t about relationships, it’s about destroying them!

I was scrolling through TLOU tag and I saw a post that just said ‘aaaaand therapy time’ but it wasn’t even part of the tag😂 it just… was there and with 0 notes which means that Tumblr was just like “ah yes, this goes here” and it DOES😭

Fanfic language makes no sense to me but I love it.

whump? Like wtf? Why is the sound of a wet towel hitting the floor used to signify immense pain and tragedy??

Smut? Is it an acronym? A reference? Some of that weird goo that’s in the corner of your dogs’ eyes? I’ll never know

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat? Why would I??? What does it mean??? Why is the dove the harbinger of doom???

Point is… I love fanfic. It’s so cool.

Is there anything better than ‘chaotic kid’ & ‘(outwardly) calm dad’ found family relationships? Romantic relationships are great and all, but no kiss will ever bring me as much joy to watch as ‘father-kid-bonding-time’.

Write all the beautiful monologues you want, there is nothing better than:

“Whoaaaa, this is so cool!”

“OHMYGODDON’TTOUCHTHAT—”

It can’t be beaten, sorry. I love them all to an unhealthy degree.

Do you enjoy writing? Of course you do, it’s frickin’ dope! But, writing can be difficult sometimes, which is why I bring you the best strategy for creating stories, characters, and worlds: WLAS

What is WLAS? Write Like A Sadist! Make the experience as torturous as possible for both your characters, AND your readers! Push the limits! Make people wonder if you’re a genuine psychopath! Make your friends cry! You can do it all with ‘Write Like a Sadist’!

(Side effects may include but are not limited to: guilt, deterioration of mental health, loss of appetite, your SO leaving you because ‘this has gone too far, I can’t even look at you anymore! You spend all day cooped up inside, laughing maniacally, I can’t stand another second! This is an addiction! Get help, Paige, please! What happened to you?’ Proceeded by hysterical sobbing.)

So try out ‘Write Like a Sadist’ today, and remember… character development can go fuck itself, shock value is the best thing to incorporate into a story!