Peter: If You Do This, I Will Kill Everyone You Ever Loved And Burn You Alive Along Side Them. I Will

Peter: If you do this, I will kill everyone you ever loved and burn you alive along side them. I will leave no evidence behind and no one will ever know what happened to you. Don’t test me.

Ned, throwing away the +4 card out of sheer terror:

Peter: *bursts into Tony’s lab with a plate while on three Monster Drinks*

Peter: You’re not a dish *smashes plate on the wall* you’re a mAN!

Tony, frightened: Th-Thank you??

What Tony comes home to find:

Tony: Hey kid. How was your time with Shuri—why is there a giant pool of rice in the middle of the room?

Peter: Oh, h-hey Mr. Stark. So um, I kinda accidentally spilled water on Mr. Vision and he kinda started sputtering and collapsed, so Shuri suggested that we throw rice over him, so um...

Tony: ??????!!!!!!

Peter, verge of panic: i GoT mY hAnDs StUcK iN pRiNgLe CoNtAiNeRs OnCe WhAt Do YoU eXpEcT fRoM mE???

My un Marvel friend after hearing me talk about the sun shining on Loki and Thor:

Thor: Actually no, even if I had died, you will not have been left childless.

Odin: *Looking at Thor confused*

Thor: LOKI???

Peter: What if I were to hit my head really hard with a fire extinguisher and have all my braincells click into place?

Ned, grabbing fire extinguisher: We won’t know until we try!