This Is A Good Take Mostly

This is a good take Mostly™️

My one qualm is I feel like maybe either I or OP don’t grasp the same concept of system accountability

To me this means taking account for when shit hits the fan

With singlets I imagine this to be like not being sober and saying something unintentionally hurtful or doing something and regretting it later after realizing you were just hungry/tired/depressed

With systems it’s “hey I know objectively *I* didn’t do a shitty thing but I know (or may not know but know it happened that) *alter* did and since we share a body it is still *my* responsibility to apologize/try and reconcile for hurting someone”

At least to us, again I could be wrong, but system accountability isn’t like, “CONTROL YOUR ALTERS!” “THAT ALTER SPECIFICALLY HAS TO APOLOGIZE!”

Because yeah like OP said it’s not always that clean cut.

Everything else though, 10/10

TLDR; agree with OP but want to add mental illness isn’t an excuse to be a shitty person/ not try and reconcile for the hurt the body may have caused

Here’s some possibly harsher truths about systems/trauma survivors that people need to think about (like, I’m begging you guys, holy hell)!

System accountability is actually not the most important concern that it’s being made out to be. And, lack of system accountability is not a red flag or indicator of someone being a generally bad person (as parts or as a “whole”). I know this seems to be hard for a lot of people to grasp, but it’s true. A system is a system due to barriers and lack of cohesion between parts.

Not being able to control all your parts and do things such as fully grasp system accountability is much more normal than people here will have you believe. As is it having different meaning to different people.

Seriously, go learn about some DID/OSDD systems away from tumblr. Go spend some time with another really traumatized person in real life. Go read about systems who didn’t learn about themselves until later on in life. Anything that will help you understand how much more complicated it is.

There are people who don’t fully understand being “parts of a whole” and still view themselves as multiple/separate people. This also is not inherently bad, a red flag, a sign of not wanting to get better, etc. This is normal of a covert mental illness that is literally meant to hide things from you.

It’s very unrealistic to expect anyone to know and/or understand enough about their system to truly understand all their parts, why they behave the way they do, and how to handle it. Especially if you are young, newly discovered, have a very large system, have “more severe” trauma, etc.

It is very unrealistic to expect people with brains damaged by childhood trauma to be able to show up to some of the standards people try to enforce here. It is called a mental disability for a reason - your brain is literally disabled and incorrectly developed.

People showing their less palatable symptoms needs to be more accepted. I don’t care if it’s not pretty, or hard to see, it’s the fucking truth of being a trauma survivor. Trauma is not pretty, and neither is what comes out of it. It is ugly, chaotic, harsh, painful, etc. And being able to show and embrace that fact is not only okay, but honestly even healthy.

Sometimes it’s not only about healing and recovery. Sometimes it’s about the bad days, alters with negative thoughts and views, mistakes and flaws and accepting that you went through trauma and it did indeed fuck you up.

Stop trying to make fucking trauma survivors hide themselves and their flaws even in the one safe space they have.

It really is wild how people who don't understand what consent is really do not understand what consent is. The idea that they're supposed to know how someone wants to be treated, and err to the side of caution or even ask if they aren't sure is absurd when you genuinely do not understand the concept.

"What, you need consent for everything these days?" Literally yes. And not just these days, but always have and always will.

"Do I need consent to kiss my wife in the morning? Do I need consent to shake someone's hand after a business meeting? Do I need CoNsEnT to braid my daughter's hair?"

Yes, yes and yes. A neurotypical person of reasonably passable social skill should have the ability to either instinctively understand when their touch is welcome, or logically conclude when their touch is socially expected. If you truly, literally, genuinely cannot tell whether your own child delights in you playing with her hair or merely endures it, then yeah, maybe you shouldn't touch anyone at all, ever, before you learn how to do that.

"Do I need consent to make eye contact with strangers on the street? Do I need consent from everyone on board before I get on the bus?"

Okay now you're just throwing a tantrum because someone told you 'no'.

I think the root of the whole “internet pathology problem” really is just people with mental or physical illnesses either accidentally attributing normal human behavior or problems to ones caused by illness(es) or that the genuine human problem is greatly amplified by their illness(es)

For example sometimes I genuinely do not know if my joints are aching because I’ve just overdone it or if it’s because of my EDS

On our main I’ll often ask questions and tag them with DID tags because I THINK that it’s the root cause and it may not be at all

I’m not sure there’s anythingthat necessarily needs to be done about these things, I think we’re all not sure of most things because every new moment is somewhere we haven’t yet been and that’s okay

not in the mood for this (everything)

when your stuffies fall off the bed D:

“embrace ugliness” sure but why are women’s neutral traits considered ugliness in the first place