System Struggles - Tumblr Posts
This is a good take Mostly™️
My one qualm is I feel like maybe either I or OP don’t grasp the same concept of system accountability
To me this means taking account for when shit hits the fan
With singlets I imagine this to be like not being sober and saying something unintentionally hurtful or doing something and regretting it later after realizing you were just hungry/tired/depressed
With systems it’s “hey I know objectively *I* didn’t do a shitty thing but I know (or may not know but know it happened that) *alter* did and since we share a body it is still *my* responsibility to apologize/try and reconcile for hurting someone”
At least to us, again I could be wrong, but system accountability isn’t like, “CONTROL YOUR ALTERS!” “THAT ALTER SPECIFICALLY HAS TO APOLOGIZE!”
Because yeah like OP said it’s not always that clean cut.
Everything else though, 10/10
TLDR; agree with OP but want to add mental illness isn’t an excuse to be a shitty person/ not try and reconcile for the hurt the body may have caused
Here’s some possibly harsher truths about systems/trauma survivors that people need to think about (like, I’m begging you guys, holy hell)!
System accountability is actually not the most important concern that it’s being made out to be. And, lack of system accountability is not a red flag or indicator of someone being a generally bad person (as parts or as a “whole”). I know this seems to be hard for a lot of people to grasp, but it’s true. A system is a system due to barriers and lack of cohesion between parts.
Not being able to control all your parts and do things such as fully grasp system accountability is much more normal than people here will have you believe. As is it having different meaning to different people.
Seriously, go learn about some DID/OSDD systems away from tumblr. Go spend some time with another really traumatized person in real life. Go read about systems who didn’t learn about themselves until later on in life. Anything that will help you understand how much more complicated it is.
There are people who don’t fully understand being “parts of a whole” and still view themselves as multiple/separate people. This also is not inherently bad, a red flag, a sign of not wanting to get better, etc. This is normal of a covert mental illness that is literally meant to hide things from you.
It’s very unrealistic to expect anyone to know and/or understand enough about their system to truly understand all their parts, why they behave the way they do, and how to handle it. Especially if you are young, newly discovered, have a very large system, have “more severe” trauma, etc.
It is very unrealistic to expect people with brains damaged by childhood trauma to be able to show up to some of the standards people try to enforce here. It is called a mental disability for a reason - your brain is literally disabled and incorrectly developed.
People showing their less palatable symptoms needs to be more accepted. I don’t care if it’s not pretty, or hard to see, it’s the fucking truth of being a trauma survivor. Trauma is not pretty, and neither is what comes out of it. It is ugly, chaotic, harsh, painful, etc. And being able to show and embrace that fact is not only okay, but honestly even healthy.
Sometimes it’s not only about healing and recovery. Sometimes it’s about the bad days, alters with negative thoughts and views, mistakes and flaws and accepting that you went through trauma and it did indeed fuck you up.
Stop trying to make fucking trauma survivors hide themselves and their flaws even in the one safe space they have.
That awkward system moment when you discover a Hidden part of headspace and find who knows how many new alters that you weren't aware of and now you have to spend hours figuring out who they are and making them profiles on simply plural 😭😭😭
-invader zim
Is there an app that allows systems to talk to other systems but in a way that all alters can use their own separate account(?) to text other alters? Like Alter 1 from my system can message Alter A from my friends system, without having to specifically identify themselves every time?