Jaune: I'm The Hunts-Man, You Lunatic. Anyway, You Guys Got Any 'shrooms?

Jaune: I'm the Hunts-Man, you lunatic. Anyway, you guys got any 'shrooms?

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Bystander: Are you... An angel!?

Jaune: Yeah, sure, whatever... You got any ketamine?

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Jaune: I know you're here, Roman, you big fucking nerd. Where's my goddamn money?

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Grunt #1: Be careful, man. I hear Hunts-Man attacks with all sorts of random bullshit.

Grunt #2: Please. I got him dead to rights. Now to-

Jaune: *Throws something* Random bullshit GO!!!

Grunt #1: Damn you Hunts-Man!

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Jaune: I am the god of light. Hand over your wallet and your ketamine or Remnant is doomed.

Marrow: Fuck off, Hunts-Man. I'm not falling for that one again.

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Jaune: ... Why do I hear Eminem all of a sudden?

Hound: *Looming over him*

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Clover: Someone's hacking the system, but who? Hunts-Man!

Jaune: Where's my goddamn money!?

Harriet: No-one here owes you money, you drunk, crazy asshole. Roman isn't even on the Ace-Ops, so stop calling here.

Jaune: Wait... Roman isn't an Ace-Op?

Jaune: That lying fuck.

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Jaune: You know who I really want to fight? Junior.

Elm: Wait, the asparagus from VeggieTales? Or the crime lord?

Jaune: ... Yes.

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Jaune: Honestly? At this point, I don't even remember why Roman owes me money. But a guy's got to live by a code, you know?

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Vine: It's over, Hunts-Man! I have the high ground!

Jaune: Impossible. Do you even know how many drugs I'm on right now?

Vine: That's not what I-

Jaune: Less talk, more VENGEANCE!!

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Nora: Dammit, Jauney, let someone else have a turn for once!

Jaune: No! Ren is my homie... Only I get to give him a goodnight kiss!

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Jaune: Using my Marine Corps training, I can turn ANYTHING into a weapon! Even this rifle!

Watts: Uh, isn't a rifle already a weapon?

Jaune: *Snaps rifle in half and smacks him across the face* Semper Fi, bitch!

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Jaune: God of Darkness, you fucking nerd! Where's my... Uhhh what are you doing?

G.o.D: Don't let her get me. I didn't mean to look at those lewd hieroglyphics! Forget if gods can bleed. Can a god simp?!

Jaune: What the fuck are you talki-

G.o.D: *Grabs him* I was horny, Jaune Arc. And now, Salem is going to quantum bonk me!

Jaune: Who is going to what now??

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Roman: *Half dead inside of grimm* What? It's impossible. It can't be... A way out! And... the Hunts-Man!?

Jaune: That's right, bitch! Now where's my goddamn money? Don't make me come down there and waterboard you, shitheel.

Ruby: *Hand smacks nothing but air*

Ruby: Wha? B-But how? *Feels an intense presence behind her*

Jaune: Oh, sweet, naïve Ruby...

Jaune: *Raises an aura enhanced hand* Dat ass compels me with power beyond your comprehension.

Ruby: *Walking down a path* Ooh, look at those pretty flowers. *bends over to pick them*

Jaune: ...

Ruby: *Wearing a skirt that's a bit too small, giving Jaune a great view of the Rubooty.*

Jaune: *thinking* Must not slap Ruby's butt.

Ruby: *sways a bit from side to side, giving her butt a nice little jiggle*

Jaune: Please forgive me Ruby. *Raises hand* Becaus I know Yang won't.

SMACK!!!

Jaune: *Wakes up at a table, handcuffed*

???: *Out of speaker in front of Jaune* Hello Jaune.

Jaune: W-Why am I in handcuffs?!

???: You've been randomly accepted to be part of, sort of... a game show.

Jaune: ... A game show?

???: Yes. You could call it a game show.

Jaune: Lets gooo! I love game shows, lets get it! I'm ready!

???: ... We appreciate your enthusiasm. We'll see how long that lasts. Lets go over the #1 rule. The rule is: If you die... you lose.

Jaune: Ahh, okay. So just life then.

???: What?

Jaune: That's literally just life, right? Like, you wanna NOT die?

???: Okay, but the difference is... we're trying to kill you.

Jaune: Ahh, got it.

???: Good. For your first tas-

Jaune: So basically, it's just like how 90% of nature is towards humans.

???: Shut the fuck up! Or we'll just go in there and shoot you.

Jaune: Shutting the fuck up.

???: For your first task, you will answer a set of questions.

Jaune: Oh imma dog at trivia, hit me.

???: Question - What word becomes shorter when you add two letters?

Jaune: Short.

???: Quick, but wrong. For your punishment y-... Wait, what was your answer?

Jaune: The word's short. It becomes shorter when you add 'E' 'R' to it, that's two letters. It's short.

???: ... Very good. I'm used to people getting that wrong. But that's an easy one.

Jaune: Wait, do I get points, or money, each correct answer?

???: You get to NOT DIE.

Jaune: Oh right, the theme. This is so crazy!

???: Next question - 4 cars stop at a 4 way intersection, all at the same time, and all coming from different directions. They can't decide who got there first, so they all go at once at the same speed, but no one ran into each other. How?

Jaune: Hm, they all made right turns.

(In a separate room)

Adam: Does he have his scroll under the table or something?!

Ilia: I took his scroll.

Adam: Okay but, where are you getting these questions?

Ilia: We made them!

Adam: Right!? Like, these aren't just known questions! (To Jaune) How many fingers am I holding up?! *Holds up 2 fingers*

Jaune: Two.

Adam: *Holds up 5 fingers*

Jaune: No five! It's five.

Adam: *Slams fist against table in frustration*

Adam: I got 2 buttons in front of me. Button #1 kills 100,000 people, at random. Button #2 kills the 2 most important people to you, in your life specifically! Which button do I press? You have 30 seconds.

Jaune: Ohh, that's a hard one-Button 1, press it.

Adam: Button #1? The 100,000 people one?

Jaune: Yup, hit it!

Adam: You didn't even think about it, think about it first! Are you crazy!

Jaune: I thought about it.

Adam: You're gonna kill 100,000 people, instead of just 2?

Jaune: Is that... not the right answer?

Adam: No that's not the right-There is no right answer! It's supposed to be a hard choice!

Jaune: Well... it wasn't. I don't know what to tell you.

Adam: Well, you just killed 100,000 people. Congratulations.

Jaune: No I didn't.

Adam: Yes you did! You picked option 1!

Jaune: Yeah, I did, but I didn't push a button. All I did was answer questions while handcuffed and trapped in a room. If this was real, you would be the perpetrator.

Adam: IT IS RE- *Takes a second to breath and relax*

Adam: On your table, there are 2 cups. One is poison, the other-

Jaune: *Immediately grabs a glass and drinks it*

Adam: Okay you can just go. I unlocked the door. Leave.

Jaune: What? I lost?

Adam: GET OUT!

Jaune: I drank the fake poison?

Adam: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH

Hm... What about a double lancaster? Jaune x (female)Ruby and (male)Ruby

(wanted to try an outlandish one and came up with this)

Are these twins Rubes? Is one Ruby from a parallel world?

Might as well do the inverse, right?

A whole mess of'em

Why does Ochaco like Bakugo?

Like actually. Why does she treat Bakugo friendly? Why does she say she thinks he’s cool? Why does she use the insult he gave her best friend, the name she was expressly told was an insult, as a nickname for said friend? Why does she have nothing negative to say to the guy who demeans, insults, and assaults her best friend on a constant basis?

Why do fans see this and immediately want her to cuck Izuku for Bakugo while he watches?

Questions like this make me slowly regret checking out the show and giving it a chance when I did more and more with each day. As well as a large assortment of other things that would take me hours to even get through half.

Nurse: Please excuse the doctor. He was given a rather sudden call. He should be with you in just a bit to proceed with the surgery. *Leaves*

Jaune: Great... Good to hear...

Tai: In that case, I should head on out then to give ya at least some dignity before they take it away from ya. Good luck kid! *Leaves*

Jaune: *Whimpers*

Doctor: *Walks in behind him* Well then, Mr. Arc, 'bout time we get to those balls, yeah?

Jaune: *Ignores their strangely fake sounding deep voice* Listen, doc, is there any way we could maybe... not do this?

Doctor: Hm, I'm not sure. Da-Mr. Xio Long has paid quite a bit, and cashed in a few favors, to ensure this surgery happens.

Jaune: *Sighs in defeat* I guess it's inevitable then...

Doctor: ... Although, perhaps instead of snipping off those (stuffed) balls of yours, we could go a different route.

Jaune: *Face brightens slightly* Oh, yeah? You mean like a vasectomy or-

Doctor: Not quite. *Locks the door* I was thinking of something a bit more... fun~

Jaune: Uh... doc? *Watches the back of the doctor nervously as they walk past him to grab some gloves*

Doctor: Rather than removing them, I'd say it's better to drain them completely. *Snaps gloves onto her hands* Til you've got nothing left.

Jaune: *Gulps nervously* D-Doctor... You're starting to s-scare me.

Doctor: Oh Jaune... There's nothing here for you to be afraid of. Afterall... *Turns around*

Jaune: *Eyes widen in fear as he starts wildly thrashing against his restraints, but they refuse to give*

Ruby: *Wearing nothing besides a doctors coat, licks her lips as she looked at him with barely held back lust* You can trust me. I'm a doctor~

(Outside the room)

Tai: *Whistling as he reads a magazine*

Jaune: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Tai: Damn, almost feel sorry for the lanky bastard.

Tai: Almost.

Tai Finally Getting Jaune Fixed.

Intercom: *ping* Mr. Xiao Long the Doctor is here to see you and your Jaune for surgery.

Tai: *Rolling Jaune inside the doctor office*

Well look at it this way kid. Think of these as me preemptively saving you from paying all those future child supports from you banging half the woman in remnant (especially my Ruby) and no doubt impregnating them in your first go.

Jaune:

Somewhere Outside

Ruby: *sniff, sniff* Where are you Jaune? I can smell you! I CAN SMELL YOU! SO WHERE ARE YOU!?

I'll find you Jaune. And when I do I will ruin NNN for you! Mua, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!

Oh no I hope someone would come & save Jaune:

You can add more if you want it too...