Jaune: Ruby, It's Alright. Your... Assets Simply Lie Elsewhere.

Jaune: Ruby, it's alright. Your... assets simply lie elsewhere.

Ruby: Oh yeah? Where?! *Hits table in frustration, causing a plate of cookies to fall over*

Ruby: Ah nuts! *Quickly turns and bends over to pick them up*

Jaune: 😳

*Thump!*

Yang: Hm? Did you just bump the table with your leg?

Jaune: You could say that, yes.

The Bigger Win

Yang: Ha! I win~!

Ruby: Grrrr! So what I have small boobs! Jaune doesn’t like me because I have a big boobs; He likes me for my adorable personality~!

Yang: True, but I can get him hard in a minute without touching him with these girls. Can you do that?

Ruby: …

Ruby: Jaune, that’s not true is it?!

Jaune: Let’s just say I’m sitting down, behind this table for a reason. Okay?

Yang: Ha, that’s one for me~!

Ruby: Ahh nuts…

Neptune: Come on! They have one female servicing a large group of males. That implies a species that lays eggs!

Sun: Oh my god, you're crazy! They are so obviously mammals!

Neptune: Oh please, she'd be in estrus 24/7 if she didn't lay eggs!

Sun: Smurfs don't lay eggs! I won't tell you this again! Papa Smurf has a fucking beard! THEY'RE MAMMALS!!!

Whitley: So here’s what I’m thinking. I speak a little Portuguese from that time I opened a school in the favelas of Mistral-

Weiss: Ugh, barf.

Whitley: What?

Weiss: I said barf. I can’t deal with your bragging anymore.

Whitley: How is that bragging? I said I speak a little Portuguese, when I’m actually fluent, orbrigado.

Weiss: Oh shut up!

Whitley: I get it, you’re jealous. I’d be jealous, too, if someone was better than me at everything they’re whole life.

Jaune: Oh no.

Weiss: *Scoffs* Not everything! I have more allergies than you!

Jaune: Not the best brag...

Whitley: I have so many allergies, I just found out I’m allergic to chia seeds!

Jaune: But apparently effective.

Weiss: I’m allergic to chia and acai berries!

Whitley: Yeah? My throat gets scratchy when I eat stone fruit!

Hm... What about a double lancaster? Jaune x (female)Ruby and (male)Ruby

(wanted to try an outlandish one and came up with this)

Are these twins Rubes? Is one Ruby from a parallel world?

Might as well do the inverse, right?

A whole mess of'em

Jaune: *Wakes up at a table, handcuffed*

???: *Out of speaker in front of Jaune* Hello Jaune.

Jaune: W-Why am I in handcuffs?!

???: You've been randomly accepted to be part of, sort of... a game show.

Jaune: ... A game show?

???: Yes. You could call it a game show.

Jaune: Lets gooo! I love game shows, lets get it! I'm ready!

???: ... We appreciate your enthusiasm. We'll see how long that lasts. Lets go over the #1 rule. The rule is: If you die... you lose.

Jaune: Ahh, okay. So just life then.

???: What?

Jaune: That's literally just life, right? Like, you wanna NOT die?

???: Okay, but the difference is... we're trying to kill you.

Jaune: Ahh, got it.

???: Good. For your first tas-

Jaune: So basically, it's just like how 90% of nature is towards humans.

???: Shut the fuck up! Or we'll just go in there and shoot you.

Jaune: Shutting the fuck up.

???: For your first task, you will answer a set of questions.

Jaune: Oh imma dog at trivia, hit me.

???: Question - What word becomes shorter when you add two letters?

Jaune: Short.

???: Quick, but wrong. For your punishment y-... Wait, what was your answer?

Jaune: The word's short. It becomes shorter when you add 'E' 'R' to it, that's two letters. It's short.

???: ... Very good. I'm used to people getting that wrong. But that's an easy one.

Jaune: Wait, do I get points, or money, each correct answer?

???: You get to NOT DIE.

Jaune: Oh right, the theme. This is so crazy!

???: Next question - 4 cars stop at a 4 way intersection, all at the same time, and all coming from different directions. They can't decide who got there first, so they all go at once at the same speed, but no one ran into each other. How?

Jaune: Hm, they all made right turns.

(In a separate room)

Adam: Does he have his scroll under the table or something?!

Ilia: I took his scroll.

Adam: Okay but, where are you getting these questions?

Ilia: We made them!

Adam: Right!? Like, these aren't just known questions! (To Jaune) How many fingers am I holding up?! *Holds up 2 fingers*

Jaune: Two.

Adam: *Holds up 5 fingers*

Jaune: No five! It's five.

Adam: *Slams fist against table in frustration*

Adam: I got 2 buttons in front of me. Button #1 kills 100,000 people, at random. Button #2 kills the 2 most important people to you, in your life specifically! Which button do I press? You have 30 seconds.

Jaune: Ohh, that's a hard one-Button 1, press it.

Adam: Button #1? The 100,000 people one?

Jaune: Yup, hit it!

Adam: You didn't even think about it, think about it first! Are you crazy!

Jaune: I thought about it.

Adam: You're gonna kill 100,000 people, instead of just 2?

Jaune: Is that... not the right answer?

Adam: No that's not the right-There is no right answer! It's supposed to be a hard choice!

Jaune: Well... it wasn't. I don't know what to tell you.

Adam: Well, you just killed 100,000 people. Congratulations.

Jaune: No I didn't.

Adam: Yes you did! You picked option 1!

Jaune: Yeah, I did, but I didn't push a button. All I did was answer questions while handcuffed and trapped in a room. If this was real, you would be the perpetrator.

Adam: IT IS RE- *Takes a second to breath and relax*

Adam: On your table, there are 2 cups. One is poison, the other-

Jaune: *Immediately grabs a glass and drinks it*

Adam: Okay you can just go. I unlocked the door. Leave.

Jaune: What? I lost?

Adam: GET OUT!

Jaune: I drank the fake poison?

Adam: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH

Jaune: *Leaving Yangs House* Alright, see you later, Alligator.

Yang: *Chuckles* After a while, Crocadile.

Jaune: *Also chuckles* Okie-dokie Artachokie.

Yang: *Keeps chuckling* Alright, time to go, Buffalo.

Jaune: *Chuckles harder* I'm out the door, Dinosaur.

Yang: Hang loose, Mongoose.

Jaune: ...

Yang: You know what I mean, Jelly-bean?

Jaune: ...

Yang: *Smirks and turns to walk away*

Jaune: Take care... Teddy-bear.

Yang: *Glares* Bye bye, Butterfly.

Jaune: Too-da-loo, Kangaroo.

Yang: Hit the road, Jaune.

Jaune: Oh, that one doesn't rhyme!

Yang: No, Jaune. I'm telling you to get out of my house.

Jaune: Oh, okay.