Rwby Dragonslayer - Tumblr Posts

(once again I arrive to be a impatient dumbass. But just wow to be honest this is good. Now I pray I don't fuck this up)

Weiss eyes went wide as victor began to continue.

Victor: after Salem's death there was a brief moment of silence. But silence was soon broken. Soon artificial grimm began flooding the world. And soon every huntsmen was needed to stop the onslaught. One of those was my father.

He stared at jaune as we flash back to a younger victor as he was following a older Jaune.

Victor: father! Father where are you going?

Soon the older Jaune stopped and turned to his son before kneeling down as he ruffled his sons pale golden locks.

Jaune: don't worry kiddo. I'll be back. Just some business as usual.

Victor soon had a wide smile completely unaware of anything. Jaune- The flashback ended abruptly as a cascade of fire was heading straight towards Victor.

???: A JUMP TO THE SKY TURNS TO A BLAZING RIDER KICK!

Out of the flames emerged a man with black hair and burning Azure eyes as he wore a dark red jacket the resemble a cape as he had a black t-shirt with a logo of a flaming rabbit on it as he wore cargo pants and... Was he wearing sandals?!

???: Apologies gentlemen. Was late to the party.

Everyone just stood there their eyes wide before Victor suddenly shouted.

Victor: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!

The man dusted off his hair and shoulders as he pulled a pair of red sunglasses. He turned his back to victor and squatted down as he tapped two buttons on the straps of his sandals as they turned into combat boots.

Rouge: names rouge ice prince. Rouge rose-arc. I'll be the party guy of this occasion. Also sup old man!

Rouge stood as he waved to jaune as he was just confused.

Scarlett: hi bro!

Suddenly rouge turned to see his sister and his mother. A huge stupid grin appeared as he rocketed towards the two before bear hugging them.

Rouge: Scarlett! Mum! So great to see you two after SO long! How you been sis?!

Rouge released the two as Ruby was somewhat confused before it finally clicked that, this was her son.

Scarlett: I've been great! How's beacon been?!

Suddenly in a comical fashion rouge fell to the ground clutching his gut as he groaned out.

Rouge: beacon... Never again.

Victor: Ahem. Are we forgetting SOMETHING?

Rouge suddenly shot up before grabbing what seem like crocea mors but now.. It had an exhaust sticking out of the sheath.

Rouge: sorry about that. Family comes first, that's just a rule for us rose-arcs. Now. Prepared to get wash like my dirty laundry.

Victor: was that supposed to be a quip?

Rouge: OFCOURSE IT WAS! IM THE QUIP GUY IM SUPPOSED TO MAKE QUIPS! y'know what fuck it somebody announce we're fighting, AGAIN.

Aurum: now then everyone. Back to saving madam Weiss!

Victor just sighed as he stabbed myrtenaster into the ground as his eye were engulfed in white flames.

Victor: enough of this. FENRIR COME FORTH!

Suddenly a large glyph appeared on the floor as a giant paw shot up from it before pulling itself out revealing a giant monstrous flaming white dog.

Aurum: that. Is impressive.

Victor: fenrir. Do what you do best.

The dog howled before bolting towards aurum and yang. The two looked at each other before aurum bowed.

Aurum: ladies first.

Yang: aw thanks kiddo. Now time to let loose.

Yang brought her fist together as her eyes turned red, she shot straight towards the dog as her left behind a trail of golden flames. Suddenly she shot up and landed a clean punch straight to the dogs snout sending it back but it didn't look like it took any day. Suddenly we see aurum appear right before the beast as he slice through using prominence flame as it was covered in blue fire.

As The clash of flames soon ended we see the wolf holding the prominence flame in its teeth with a vice grip.

Rouge: HEY MUTT BREATH! LOOK. UP.

The wolf stared as we see a cascade of flames and rose petals heading straight towards the dog. Suddenly they disappeared as we see rouge, scarlet, and ruby soaring as they prepare their weapons.

Rouge: SPECIAL MOVE!

Scarlett: family attack!

Ruby: Rose triad!

The three sliced through the giant wolf as it was up in flames. Victor just scowled as Weiss let out a soft chuckle as victor turned to his mother only to be met with a clean SLUG TO THE FACE as he was sent on his ass.

Weiss: gotta thank Yang for the boxing training. Now I'll be taking this.

Weiss grabbed victors myrtenaster as she pointed it at him.

Weiss: your surrounded. Your giant mutt just got set up in flames by the dunces, yangs, and the morons children. Your out numbered, out gunned. And I have the advantage.

Weiss has a smug grin on her face as victor just scowled.

Weiss: if you are my kid then you have enough brain power to understand your thoroughly screwed. So quiet while your still living.

Victor:.. I guess that means the timeline your from is my timeline. Because you act EXACTLY like my mother.

Weiss just rolled her eyes as later we see victor tied up on he grumbled in annoyance. We also see Blake holding dusk as they were in a corner cuddling. It was surprising seeing Blake be that affectionate. But regardless, we see everyone either rest, or chatting. We see aurum sitting infront of rouge as he was taking about his adventures in beacon.

Rouge: and so there was this Winchester chump who was just the actual worst and you know what I did once he Started trashtalking my family?

Aurum: hmm do tell what did you do little brother?

Rouge: well first I grabbed him by his stupid chest piece before throwing him into the ground as I begin stumping his nuts into the Finley made FLOOR.

Aurum: that's.. Exceedingly violent.

Rouge: eh what can I say? I got a short fuse when it comes to family.

Foot steps are heard as we see a exhausted jaune walk up to his children as he sat down with them as he groaned.

Rouge: you good old man?

Aurum: I take it landing on your face wasn't a part of the plan of saving weiss was it?

Jaune: nope. I was going to do it superhero landing but... I didn't expect me to be going so fast.

Aurum: apologies father sometimes I just don't know My own strength.

Jaune: ah your fine. Tis but a scratch!

Dusk: papa has three broken bones.

Every single one of Jaune's children just stare at him.

Jaune: oh come on I'm trying to save face here.

Victor: father of I may, your always terrible at taking care of yourself.

Jaune:.... I hate life. Hey yang can I borrow ember Celica?

Yang: no can do VB. You have no idea how to use these things.

(and that's all for this... I didn't really have an idea for an ending so.. yeah... I have no doubt the actual part 3 is going to be a lot better than this. Anyway hope y'all motherfuckers enjoyed.)

(also fun fact while I debuted rogue in the Rose reaper and her shining dork knight, this was the first post to where I had an idea for him, and originally he was going to jaune and cinders kid. But then I kind of realized that wouldn't make any sense in terms of personality. But I thought It be funny. Anyway apologies for keeping y'all mofos here.)

Sorry It took this long I forgot to save my file so I have to rewrite it again but I decided to make it longer as an apology. But here it is finally.

Part 2...

Everyone was in awe seeing the incredibly large dragon Grimm he just summoned. Behind the dragon guarding the summoner. Weiss is currently being held hostage by him. Her sword the Myrtenaster has been taken away from her and her hand bound by some sort of bind made out of ice.

Ruby: Let Go Of Weiss!!! 😫

??? : This is a family matter. Leave us alone or I swear you will wish you haven't intervene.

Jaune: This is your dad speaking if you don't let go of Weiss young man will be grounded for a long time.

??? : Father... Did you seriously think grounding me is going to work?

Weiss: Why on earth do you think that will work?!

Jaune: Look. I'm trying okay!

Weiss: Well try harder you dunce!

??? : *smack* Do I need to remind you that you are a hostage.

Weiss: You hit me?.. How can you hit me I'm your mother!

??? : *punch* 👊 Anything else you like to add. "Mother?"

Everyone: Weiss!!!

Yang: That's it. That SOB is going down... Oops I didn't mean that Weiss!

Blake: Anyway. How do we even get past that Dragon?

Dusk: I'm scared mommy....

Blake: Its okay darling. I'll keep you safe.

Aurum: Allow me... *unsheate sword*

Ruby: Oh that sword looks awesome. 🤤 I mean, have you seen that Dragon. How are you going to go against that? 😵

Aurum: Rest assure Aunt Ruby. My blade the Prominence Flame can cut through anything and there's a reason why I'm called the dragonslayer.

??? : Now that's an arrogance if I say so myself. And I should know. I came from the Schnee's household.

Aurum: You! Tell me your name so I at least know the name of my foe.

??? : Are you stupid or something. Why on earth would I do that? You know what, judging by your getup you probably are one. I mean, golden armor? What kind of thought that goes inside your head to think it's a good idea?

Aurum: My golden armor serves to inspire the men and women under my command. It is symbol of hope, It is a promise that as long as I'm here my ally will have nothing to fear and my enemy will know that I will never be defeated. For I am Aurum Arc. Son of the great Jaune Arc and captain of the Arc Knight. I will say this again tell me your name?

??? : A Knight? How antiquated. Very well since you ask so nicely. My name is Victor Sch... Arc, Victor Arc.

Aurum: Then Victor Arc. Release Weiss Schnee at once this is your last chance.

Victor: Well Sir, Knight unfortunately. I won't. You see dear old mother and me have an unfinished problem. And sir, Knight what if I told you that by killing her you can save countless people in the processes. And what if I told you she will be responsible for numerous atrocities. That I would risk my own existence to try and kill her should be proof of that.

Weiss: ... No, that's not true! That can't possibly be right...

Scarlett: Yeah that's a load of baloney. The Miss Schnee I know is a really nice lady. And she and her husband mister Neptune always treat me to ice cream whenever I come to visit. 😫

Aurum: And the Weiss Schnee I knew married Ruby Rose. So she can't possibly have a son.

Ruby: Wait what!? I mean I don't swing that way, maybe I just don't know it yet and I kinda think some women are nice to look at... I mean no. I only like Jaune okay!!! 😖

Blake: Wait could it be that Jaune didn't actually have children with everyone of us in the future. Maybe all the childrens are from different timeline.

Yang: Wait so Jaune didn't really going to knock us up in the future? Phewww! I'm glad I didn't smash Jaune's family jewels. I mean the idea of Jaune having a harem with us is ridiculous.

Jaune: That's what I keep telling you!

Ruby: I knew it! There's no way Jaune would cheat on me! So Victor that means you can let Weiss go. Because she's not your Weiss. 😌

Victor: Oh of course! Here let me let her go... Did you really think it will be that simple. We don't know that for certain. I'm still here meaning that she still able to give birth to me. If there's a different timeline that means there are other Weiss I just need to kill as many as I can until I found the right one. If I get the wrong one at least I will get the satisfaction of killing her.

Ruby: You're insane! Give us back our Weiss! 😩

Victor: That's because you don't know how evil my mother is! Did you know that Ruby Rose died in my world. Under my mother's order I killed her using this same sword I hold now. That should give you an idea why I want her dead. If I can at least prevent another death by killing her I would do it. Even if I have to kill as many Weisses as I can.

Ruby: I died... 😶

Yang: But that's not our Weiss even if she is. That's a different Weiss. And that doesn't give you the right to end her life.

Aurum: Mother do not waste thine breath. He have already made up his mind to kill Weiss. What he's doing now is trying to find justification to do it.

Victor: Oh turns out you are smarter than you look. My offers still stand step aside and let me finish her and I will let you all live. Don't. And I will kill everyone here... I see there's no one here with a common sense. Fafnir, kill 'em all.

The blade then starts to glow brighter and hotter until the heat are fully concentrated in the sword. Aurum then closes in on the Dragon and effortlessly cuts it into multiple pieces. The scene of a knight cutting a dragon with ease looks like something out of a picture book that Ruby used to read as a child.

Victor : What the Fuc*!!! How is that even possible?! Fafnir are among my strongest summoned Grimm.

Scarlett: OMG so awesome 👁️👄👁️

Yang: Wow, so that's my son. Maybe I should consider dating Jaune if my kid can become badasses like him.

Jaune: Weiss is right there's no way he could be my son.

Aurum: I'm still not as strong as my father it seems... Release Weiss Schnee at once. Vile fiend!

Victor : No... She's rather useful to me unfortunately.

Aurum: Hiding behind a hostage. Have you no shame, fiend?!

Victor : It's called strategy dumbfuc* if you think I'm going to give up my only leverage then you are indeed just as dumb as I thought initially.

With a swing of his sword he summons multiple Glyphs on the ground to summoned Grimms. At first it's ten, then tens of ten then hundreds and finally thousands. The Grimm he summoned looks like a smaller version of an Arma Gigas with different weapons.

Weiss: No, it's impossible... No one can summon this many Grimms without their Aura running out ages ago.

Victor: My personal limit is 10 thousands, right now though I only summoned 2000. I think I can summon more, but I never had to on the account that my enemy tends to be dead before I need to summon more.

Weiss: But how is that even possible?

Victor: You can thanked dear old father for that.

Weiss: And why do you need to summon so many Grimms. There's no war in Remnant?

Victor: ...There's no war in yours, but there's one in mine.

Weiss: What?

Victor: Enough. Stay and watch everyone die. Geisttroopers forward. Infantry at the front and ranged units at the back. Kill everyone on sight but spare Father. He doesn't deserve to die...

Ruby: There's so many of them. 😫

Yang: C'mon Ruby. We can do it. You can take a few hundred over there. I'll take a few hundred over here.

Blake: Get behind me Dusk I'll keep you safe.... Dusk? Where are you Dusk?!

Jaune: Oh no, we're bad parents!

Scarlett: I'm good but even I don't think I can beat this many. Hey bigger bro can you help me beat them? 😉

Aurum: Of course little sister. With us working together nothing can stop us.

Victor: Now watch mother as my troops will finish off your friends... What the Fuc*!

Aurum: Huzzah! *melted through all of the Geisttroopers like it was made of butter*

Scarlett: Hyah! *hack and scythe through the Geisttroopers* 😈

Yang: I guess we don't have to do anything. Geez what do they feed children in the future?

Ruby: Oh! My daughter are so awesome. And look at Scarlett's weapon. Is that an upgraded form of Crescent Rose? 😍

Scarlett: That's right mom. This is Crescent Rose mk. 20. We made this weapon together. It can switch between scythe and voulge. And not only that it can switch between three different gun type. 🤓

Ruby: AHHH!!! My daughter is so awesome! And we share the same interest. 🤯 Jaune when we come back. We better start making her. I won't take no for an answer.

Jaune: Ruby please don't joke around! We need to save Weiss first. And then find Dusk because we can't find her.

Blake: In case you were wondering we didn't lose her. And we're not bad parent.

Ruby: (Who says I'm joking 😏) Oh no that's terrible. Let me cheer you up later Jaune... In my room. 🤫

Victor: How. How!? Each of my Geisttroopers are as strong as a veteran huntsman. There's no way they can be defeated this easily by just the two of them?

Weiss: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...

Victor: Anything you like to say mother?

Weiss: Oh I was wondering how long does it take for you to notice that I'm no longer in bondage.

Weiss shows off her hands to show to him that she's free. Victor then looks for her sword and realizes that her sword is floating in mid air but then it's quickly revealed that the floating sword was merely being held by a faunus child.

Victor: Invisibility Semblance. That's a neat trick there, kid. You must be Blake Belladonna's daughter?

Dusk: Please call off your monsters. Mister that looks like my daddy...

Victor: I'm sorry kid but I can't. I'm sorry. But I will spare you too at least.

Weiss: Yeah, my sentiment exactly. *slash*

Victor: *parry* Oh please, mother do you think I don't see your surprise attack. You're the one that taught me that. "Strike the enemy when they're distracted Victor."

Weiss: Don't call me that I'm not your Mother! And you're not my son!

Victor: Well let put those theory to rest. If I kill you and I disappear then I'm right and if I killl you and I didn't disappear then I will admit I was wrong.

Weiss: I'll still die regardless!

Victor: Oh. What will be, will be.

The two then continue to trade insults and slashes with one another. Myrtenaster and Myrtenaster clash with one another. Mother and her supposed son will battle until one of them die. Their sword fighting left Dusk in awe. Weiss's form are beautiful and elegant while Victor's form are fast and brutal.

Weiss: Hah! Such brutish way of fighting are not what I expected from a Schnee.

Victor: Typical mother, never satisfied with everything I did. Even when I did your bidding. You know you always complained about grandfather but you are just the same as him as it turns out.

Weiss: Don't you dare compares me to my father!!!

Victor: And mother. The reason my swordplay are not as refined as yours is because my sword are not for ballroom dancing but made for actual war. *grabs her hand and slash her through her aura*

Weiss: AHHHH!!!! *slumps on the ground in pain*

Victor: Can't have you die yet. I need to make you understand what you did to me.

Weiss: HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!

Victor: I see you have lost your mind...

Weiss: Ha... No. But I will admit that you are my son. You are just as ruthless, vindictive and cunning as I am. If you were my father's son he would have been proud of you.

Victor: Is there a point to this?

Weiss: But what I will not accept is that you are Jaune's son! Jaune is weak, he is a dunce, he is unreliable, but he is kind to a fault, he always put others before himself, he especially will never say such harmful things to me and hurt me in anyway. And that is why I Love him!!!

Dusk: 😱

Victor: Is that all? Very well... What the heck is that!

Jaune: Move out of the way!!!

Victor sees his father flying or more like thrown his way most likely by the golden giant. He did as his father said and moves slightly off the way of the speeding Jaune and so he crashed near him.

Aurum: Excellent thinking father! By screaming loudly at the enemy you managed to grab his attention so he will leave Weiss alone.

Jaune: *grunt in pain* yep totally was planning that...

Weiss: Jaune I knew you... I mean what took you so long you doofus!!?

Victor: Father! What on earth were you thinking you could have killed yourself!

Jaune: Look. I don't know what happened between you and Weiss. But I'm not going to let you kill her. If there's a problem we can help you. You don't have to hurt her or do it alone.

Aurum: Father is right. Little brother whatever it is we can help you.

Victor: I am not your brother! Fath... No Jaune you don't get to act like a father when my own father were never there and stop my mother!

Jaune: Never there?... I died in your timeline aren't I?

Weiss: No... It can't be.

Everyone: 😯

Victor: How did you know?

Jaune: Because you just said that I was never there. Which only mean two things. Either I left you and Weiss or that I died. And since I will never abandon my family that can only mean that I died.

Weiss: How did it happened?

Victor: I guess everyone deserves to know the truth... Mom the truth is you destroyed the world.

_____________________________________________

And that's the end of part 2 of Jaune's children AU. Sorry if it end on a cliffhanger but good news Part 3 will be the end and same as usual I will post it if it gain enough traction. Scarlett's brother will also makes an appearance in the next part to help our heroes.

(Oh ... Oh you poor fool. You have no idea what you have just unleashed)

Dragonic: DESTROYER

The scorched air permeated as team RWBY and JRNO were laying on the ground in shambles as a giant flaming dragon Grimm stood as a fain red glow flashed as the relic of destruction, Calibur baron, was pierced into the ground with jaune groaning as he forced himself up as so did yang. The two blonds stared at each other.

Yang: jauney boy, I'mma need your help with a plan I got.

Jaune: ok.. why?

Yang: just shush hun. Now I'mma need that blade. So toss it over VB.

Jaune just sighed and pulled up the relic and chucked it at yang as she stuck out her robotic arm as the relic PIERCED through as yang had a grin as her eyes turned on before being engulfed in flames as everyone watched with jaune praying he didn't just kill his girlfriend.

But suddenly-

Destroyer yang: OH YEAH! HERE WE GO!

Suddenly what seemed like yang shot out from the flames as her body was coated in flames and machine, no... She WAS the flames And machine. She soon land a blow across the dragon face causing its flesh to ripple before it's mask SHATTERED as yang landed hitting a very intentional hero landing.

Destroy yang: YAHAHAHAHA! OH THIS IS JUST WHAT I WANTED!

Yang bumped her fist together as jaune looked on amazed as he noticed a flaming cowboy hat materialize in her head as yang turned to jaune.

Destroyer yang: you called sir?

Jaune: uh... Yeah... Just, kill that thing

Destroyer yang: sure thing vomit man.

Yang turned back as the dragon immediately chomped down as it swallowed her whole.

Jaune felt his body freeze... No... No no no no! NO- suddenly the dragons face turned red and in a cartoon fashion had steam coming from its ear and nostrils as it pointed itself to the sky and opened its mouth only for a well of flames to shoot out a yang sat on it like a geyser as she was just laughing.

Destroyer yang: what's wrong ya over grown lizard can't handle my "fire" cooking?

The dragon soon stopped vomiting out the flames of yang as she shot up into the sky as everyone saw a yellow BURNING STAR.

Destroyer yang: hmm what to call this move? Oh I KNOW!

Yang stopped as she then turned around and rocketed towards the dragon as a flaming smile was flashed across the sky as yang shouted from her very soul.

Destroyer yang: BIG SUNNY SMILE! EAT MY SHIT MONSTER!

Yang crashed into the dragon as we hear a loud and prominent BOOM. And soon after the dust settled yang stood as her normal self as she stained Calibur baron into the ground. Everybody was just in awe of the sheer insanity that just played out.

Yang: now. Who else is starving?

Jaune: you.. you just.. HOW?!

Ruby: who cares how, THAT WAS SO COOL!

Yang: aw thanks rubes. Now seriously. I'm starving. I'm want some nice steak and waffles.

And that was how yang gained a temporary power boost. No one will ever know why. Because neither does yang.

Found this image and Now I can't stop thinking about Yang:

I dare anyone to try and make something out of this with Jaune or Blake, I want to see what you guys come up with.

Law and order: special victims (featuring jaune arc!)

(this is joke for fun because duh. Please do not take this as my actual view of jaune or any character I might have pop up)

[DUH DUN]

We see nothing but darkness before jaune popped up out of nowhere as he wore a nice white suit.he adjusted his tie as he cleared his throat.

Jaune: hello there! I'm jaune arc professional lawyer for victims of "losing rights to their ass cheeks". Why am I in this position because I was victim aswell. You see for those who don't understand I am a part of a sub species of human called "submissiveus manass". My subspecies are men who don't mind either taking it from behind or just simply being beneath our significant others. But "ass" all species do. We have ourselves a predator. "Femalius fatalis" are a sub species of women who manage to pin men like me and get in our heads into essentially worshipping them and becoming a man wife. This is commonly shown by either the woman being more passively dominant in the less severe cases. Or grabbing their significant others ass cheeks and squeezing them. Now I'm here to tell you, you can finally take back your poor ass cheeks because now with the new constitution-

Ren: uh jaune... we have a bit of a problem?

Jaune: what's wrong Ren?

Pounding on a door is heard as jaunes face. Went. FUCKING. PALE.

Jaune: Ren we gotta hi-

The door busts open revealing-

(feel free to continue on with this)

So it's been a bit since I've wrote anything rwby shipping related.

what ships do you want me to cover

My very bad takes on rwby ships (the well known ones atleast. And yes most are jaune)

(i do not represent anyone except myself so do not judge others based on me because if you do. That's YOUR problem. Not the peoples you think I represent)

Hoi! I think its time I get crucified. Kidding obviously. This community isn't completely toxic, that much is obvious. Now let's get the obvious ones out the way

Bmblb.

Ok... time for the one I don't wanna touch because I don't have nice things to say.

Ok first. I don't mind this ship. Wanna get that out of the way because unlike most would assume. I don't hate or love this ship.

BUT. I got problems with how it was made fucking cannon. First off, fuck you rt and your "from the beeginning". I don't fuckin care how much you try to cover your incompetent asses. If the pants don't fuckin fit. Don't fuckin wear them!

Second. There was no real build up (you can argue there was. But it wasn't good. Anyone could have done a better job than rt). The only real thing that could "prove" this was planned was that yang "flirted" with Blake. Now you might be saying-

"oh but she explained her trauma to Blake that clearly means shes interested in her" in which. NO. Yes this moment is VERY good basis to build off these twos dynamic. And if rt kept building onto this by having yang slowly break down Blake's wall before eventually getting her to open up, I would be applauding rt for it, hell I would be a fan of it probably because for these two, it fuckin works! Blake clearly is alot more reserved and is rather prickly meanwhile yang is the rambunctious, ass-whooping, badass, and overall awesome ball of joy (sounds weird saying especially since yang is my favorite character). yet rt dropped the fuckin ball the moment sun showed up. Now I love sun and i enjoy black sun. But for the love of GOD if this shit is from the beginning than this clearly proves it was fucking not!

After volume three who did blake spend most of the time with in menagerie and rt was clearly trying to push? Not bmblb! BLACK-FUCKING-SUN. Let's give a round of applause to RT for making the dumbest decision of saying bmblb was planned from the start because bitch it was not.

And what did we get for yang. Oh only her trauma from one losing an arm and the fact she has PTSD from it. Oh yeah let's not forget the fact yang had ABANDONMENT ISSUES. Yet the moment her and Blake meet back up suddenly it doesn't fuckin matter because Weiss managed to somehow fix it by telling yang that Blake had suffered as well (i know that's not exactly what happened but point is I fuckin HATE the scene where Blake rejoins the team and yang is just "OK! I totally still don't have problems with the fact you left me and the team at both my and our teams lowest moment." Personally fuck you rt)

.....where was I again? Oh yeah rwby ships. So before I fuckin lose it at rt's incompetence at story telling, developing a romance and character building- let's move on to..... whiterose.... SON OF A BIT-

Whiterose

Look does the fact I don't care for BB and the fact I hate white rose with such a burning passion make me look like a misogynistic homophobic asshole a bad thing? Yes. But I just can't enjoy this damn ship because I just find it so FUCKING BORING!

I get it, it's "opposites attract". But I just don't care because this is so boring and basic that I can't even be glad a gay ship is actually popular instead of the same boring straight pairings.

I don't care if ruby could help Weiss be less of a bitch. Because that troop has been done to fucking DEATH.

There's not even the fact that it be a middle finger to Weisses dad because guess what he's already got his comupance and is also you know, FUCKIN DEAD. There's no satisfaction from any of this ship for me. Is it a bad ship? Fuck no we aren't even going to cover THAT!

But do I like this ship and hope it'll be cannon? No. And if it is? I won't care and I'm not even gonna celebrate it. You can take a fat piss on my grave before I say whiterose becoming cannon is the only option.

Now what ship is next- oh. Oh no. It's the ship everyone enjoys.

Arkos

Look I'm already gonna get fuckin crucified for my opinion of WR and BB. I don't feel like pissing off even MORE people!

... ok fine I'm saying my opinion.

I don't care for this ship. I don't care for pyrrha and I'm actively glad she is dead.

I won't even elaborate because this ship is dead and will gladly piss on its grave.

Rest in piss arkos. Overrated as fuck!

Next up is... rose garden. Finally a ship I dont mind supporting... but also... one thats gonna be hard to say

Rose garden

Look... their just fuckin cinnamon rolls and I love it!

"but you hated arkos yet both jaune and pyrrha were cinna-"

Uhp! No! None of your bullshit. But I will explain.

I don't care for arkos because I don't care for the fact pyrrha has no development. Not even a personality. She was always "the one girl that has feelings for jaune" which don't get me wrong, jaunes one of my favorite characters but I prefer the character he would be shipped with are actually characters and not... cardboard.

Now thankfully Oscar does not suffer the same fate. He's not infatuated with ruby, he is just a "kid" who just found a wizard stuck in his head and now he's off into a war he never knew about. He was timid (batshit terrified even) and yet when he sees the courage shown by the cast he slowly tries to be like them. with the moment between ruby and Oscar being a moment I fuckin love. Oscar is being honest and asking ruby why, why does she keep fighting? Keep marching into a unknown war that could very well kill her. And ruby simply answers by admitting she Is aware she might die, she even lost good people during the fall of beacon but she kept going because she wanted to be a huntress, she wanted to HELP people.

One of the many reasons I love rose garden is because these two fuckin dorks grow WITH each other instead of the simple "oh I'm the love interest of the main character I'm gonna be a cardboard cutout of the character I should be!".

I can't put it into proper words but I just love rose garden.

Whiteknight

Wait... are we actually talking about white knight and not another ship that I probably don't care about and get crucified because of them?

FUCK YEAH!

Gentlemen and ladies. I am proud to say I am whiteknight trash because damnit I love this ship.

I will say it now this ship is the shit that gives my Tumblr account LIFE. And like rose garden I can't even find words to describe how this ship makes me my brain go up with dopamine. This ship is just my favorite ship. Weiss and jaune have had so much buildup. Starting with jaune being a idiot and trying to flirt with a very much more cold Weiss (HA) To Weiss laughing at jaunes reaction to his voice after the high of depression that was V9! The little smile jaune had as he heard Weiss giggle. To the mother fuckin mature scene that has skyrocketed to memehood! I just love this ship because it is just everything I want out of a romance subplot!

Knightshade

Oh... oh we already at some.... unpopular ships.

Now this isn't exactly ship related as pyrrha was to arkos but I just don't like Blake, so you might be thinking "oh then you must hate knightshade". Well..

You.

Are.

WRONG!

I don't know why I like it I just like knightshade. It's cute, it's got enough crack to make it a crack ship, and the memes! The. Fuckin. MEMES.

God I love knightshade.

Knightfall

So... how do I say this?

I love this ship. Not joking I love this. I'd be peeved if this became cannon but as syndrome once said

"OH COME ON! YOU GOTTA ADMIT THIS IS COOL!" (Man was a salty man and died like a BITCH)

As to why?

The

Fuckin

ANGST!

I could write an entire fanfic of jaune and cinder fighting each other for days on end until jaune fucking loses but instead of killing him cinder just lets him live. To continue to fight as she gets some sick enjoyment from the attention.

That's all. (Also cinder please choke me with your thighs-)

[GLITCH HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY BANNED.]

Alright I'll behave. No thirsting, now onto.... Lancaster.... you know I can't tell if I want to be killed or be celebrated as a fuckin gift because this list is bizarre as fu-

Lancaster

.... where do I begin?

Ok I should probably state this now. I love this fuckin ship despite how... cliche it really is. I want these two dorks to be fuckin happy but I just can't say whole hearted this is my otp. It's just not for me, I'm sorry. But as you all know I have written.. some.. Lancaster fanfics (I am absolute jaune shipper trash, you can Bury me before I say any jaune ship is terrible except THAT! Even arkos ain't bad just overrated!)

But... yes I like this ship that why I'm writing fanfics in the first place I like alot of jaune ships (despite how much I hate THAT!) Because we'll most female characters that I pair with jaune have atleast some form of interaction. (Except silent knight. I just like that one because I like the "small murderous and tall gentle" dynamic. But we aren't covering silent knight.)

Now thats all I could say for Lancaster but there's one more sister that I wanna talk about but first.

For runner up on this list. Drum roll please.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Thank you-

.....

Huh I guess that drummer wasn't as dumb-

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Ok fuck you, your fired!

Now for runner up on this list (mainly because I like it but I don't have much to say-)

Martial arcs

(ha bet y'all rat bastards weren't expecting me to list a gay ship that I liked.)

Now all I have to say is.

🎶let them be fucking gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!~

OH YEAH!🎶

Now onto... my favorite one thats not white knight. The one, the only, the truest form of "what the fuck is glitch snorting"-

Dragon slayer

This is the one ship that has continued to be a ship I love dearly.

To me yang and jaune feel like they would be each other's wing(wo)man and would just be an ride to watch.

There wasn't even any evidence in why this ship could happen. But I still love it. Y'all can call it "just a write inserting themselves as jaune" but let me say this.

Dragon slayer is the Pinnacle of the most wholesome moments! Not even Lancaster can compare to the intimacy of this ship and yes! I AM TALKING OUT OF MY ASS BECAUSE I LOVE THIS STUPID SHIP AND AINT NO ONE TELLING ME I SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

....

Ok I think that's enough talking about Rwby ships for one Day because I've caused three things.

1) probably pissed off arkos, BB, and WR shipers.

2) weirded out quite literally everyone with my batshit insanity.

3) probably started a debate on what I mean when I say "THAT!"

Anyway have a great day/night/or what other time it is bitches, bros, and non-binary rat bastards

I'm off to get crucified because OH BOY did I probably poke the bear.

Yet again another poll because im dumb

I like the puff out my chest and act like I have an abnormally huge cock and that I have plans on wtf to do I will admit..

I can't write whiteknight

Which sucks cause I'm very much whiteknight trash.. so once again I come to you people of Tumblr who have to deal with my insistent bullshit.

I wanna write but I need your opinion

Dragonslayer shitpost

(as it says this is a shit post and is not how I actually view the ship or characters)

Also this is LWDE.. kinda, theres no actual sex just suggestions.

[During the beacon dance]

Jaune felt his body unwind as he smiled at the sight of his friends and teammates dancing together as he heard footsteps before one yang xiao long sat down Next to him.

Yang: sup lady killer, how long have you been slouching here?

Jaune: not long just resting.. so hows your day been so far?

Yang: i feel golden, Blake not being grouchy anymore, ruby is off with penny being as sickly sweet as possible and weiss queen? Well let's just say her and Pyumpkin are letting off steam.

We then cut to locker as it rattled as we hear Weiss moans out Pyrrha's name as we also here a whipping sound.

Back with yang and jaune, jaune just tried to not imagine any scenario between his teammate and Weiss.

Jaune: well I guess then it just leaves us to each other.

Yang: yeah..

Jaune: yeah..

Yang: ... You wanna hear a joke?

Jaune: you know what? Sure I'll bite the bullet.

Yang: knock knock.

Jaune: who's there?

Yang: hundreds.

Jaune: hundreds who?

Yang: there hundreds of people out there.

Suddenly yang sat on his lap as she got VERY close.

Yang: but so far? I'm the only one that wants to fuck you~

(Feel free to continue on with this)

Jaune could feel his face burning as he was probably in deep shit

Yang: you heard me~

Jaune could feel his body shiver as he felt his... "Little" friend peck up as he mentally SCREAMED in embarrassment.

Jaune: OHGODSOHGODSOHGODSOHGODSOHGODS- WHY?! ruby I wish you were here because I am in DANGER!

That's when yang began to kiss and suck on his neck as jaune released stifled moans as he tried to move his arms but they refused to obey as yang kept her assault going as jaune felt ashamed of the fact he was liking this, he wished this was a dream, that this embarrassment was just a nightmare but the pleasure kept building as he moaned a little louder before yang suddenly stoped and pulled away.

Yang: I think that's a good mark. Now I believe I have a dance with Blake waiting. I'll see you tomorrow, vomit-man~

Yang got up and soon walked away as jaune panted as he took out his scroll and put it on camera to see what yang left and he saw it, a LARGE very obvious and dark hickey that not even his suit could cover. Add that with yangs flirting and the changing of nicknames from "vomit-boy" to "vomit-man". One thing was clear.

Jaune: I'm owned by yang now aren't I..

TO BE CONTINUED?

Dragonslayer shitpost

(as it says this is a shit post and is not how I actually view the ship or characters)

Also this is LWDE.. kinda, theres no actual sex just suggestions.

[During the beacon dance]

Jaune felt his body unwind as he smiled at the sight of his friends and teammates dancing together as he heard footsteps before one yang xiao long sat down Next to him.

Yang: sup lady killer, how long have you been slouching here?

Jaune: not long just resting.. so hows your day been so far?

Yang: i feel golden, Blake not being grouchy anymore, ruby is off with penny being as sickly sweet as possible and weiss queen? Well let's just say her and Pyumpkin are letting off steam.

We then cut to locker as it rattled as we hear Weiss moans out Pyrrha's name as we also here a whipping sound.

Back with yang and jaune, jaune just tried to not imagine any scenario between his teammate and Weiss.

Jaune: well I guess then it just leaves us to each other.

Yang: yeah..

Jaune: yeah..

Yang: ... You wanna hear a joke?

Jaune: you know what? Sure I'll bite the bullet.

Yang: knock knock.

Jaune: who's there?

Yang: hundreds.

Jaune: hundreds who?

Yang: there hundreds of people out there.

Suddenly yang sat on his lap as she got VERY close.

Yang: but so far? I'm the only one that wants to fuck you~

(Feel free to continue on with this)

Jaune could feel his face burning as he was probably in deep shit

Heart on fire: spark.

Yang woke up as stretched before hoping out of bed and noticed... Her teams form was empty. Guess she probably overslept. She soon got dressed and made her way down to the mess hall as she saw something not surprising. Jaune frozen in a block of ice as a very frustrated Weiss was eating her eggs.

Yang: what VB do this time?

Thats when yang noticed a box of chocolates that ruby was devouring. With Weiss glaring at the red reaper.

Weiss: you have no idea if bad timing do you dolt?

Ruby: what? Jaune spent L50 on this for you. And I don't feel like having good things go to waste. You want some pyrrha?

Pyrrha: o-oh thank you ruby but I'll have to decline and also Weiss I wanna ask you something.

Weiss raised an eyebrow as pyrrha whispered into her ear before Weiss went red in the face.

Weiss: t-thats very bold of you pyrrha. Let's discuss this in my teams dorm.

Weiss got up as her pyrrha left with yang just sitting at the table.

Yang: Blake how much you wanna bet-

Blake: oh their already doing it.

Yang: oh right you can hear em.

yang then stared at the still frozen jaune as she sighed.

Yang: VB probably is gonna have the shock of his life

Ren: he's still conscious. So he just saw everything.

Nora: yep. Atleast now he's not gonna be frozen in ice anymore... Hopefully.

Yang: well look on the bright side next time he'll keep his c-

Blake: yang. Don't even finish that joke.

Yang: oh come on it's funny.

Ruby: yang. No offense sis but I think you can hold off on the jokes for today

Yang: you sure? Alright then. and tell vb good luck with the reveal

Yang got up and began walking as Blake perked up and looked at her questioningly

Blake: and what leads you to say that?

Yang just shrugged as she continued walking

Soon the lewd moaning of Weiss was heard and gauging from the height the sound was coming from. They were doing it on Ruby's bed... Lovely.

To describe how jaune felt could be summed up In one word... Humiliated. he felt so stupid for all the attempts he made for Weiss. Jaune wanted to just bury his face in the dirt as he groaned into his hands. That's before a knock was heard on his teams door as he got up and opened it and was immediately met with a bag being handed to him... Well more of.. thrown at him.

As he caught it he saw one familiar yang xiao long.

Jaune: oh hey yang. Uh what do you need? And why did you throw a bag-

Yang: we're training lady killer. So pack a towel and extra clothes because I'm gonna make you sweat.

Jaune went wide eyed as yang had a grin on her face before jaune responded with a smile on his face as he nodded.

(feel free to continue this if you want everyone.)

(and sorry my writing is probably shit, really tired at the moment)

You make me feel...

(apologies for the lackluster post)

Jaune with his ships:

////

Lancaster:

Jaune looked at Ruby as the two stood in a hill together.

Jaune: ruby, you make me feel so so happy, you've been my rock through all of this... Your my best friend- and girlfriend- and I love you for that!

////

Whiteknight:

Jaune and Weiss were at weiss' temporary apartment as jaune held a bouquet of flowers as he was mildly embarrassed.

Jaune: Weiss... You make me feel so.. so lucky to be able to know someone like you, your a great friend, an incredible huntress, and overall a person anyone would be lucky to have.. I know you probably don't feel the same but I wanna take one last chance, and to show how I truly feel about you.. Weiss i love you.. i love you for the way you care for your friends, i love you for the way you fight for what you Believe in, i love every aspect of you, and all.. so would you like to go out?

////

(no knightshade unfortunately because I can't think of shit)

Dragon Slayer:

Jaune had found found himself fighting alongside yang as they stood before a horde of Grimm now dead at their feet. With jaune taking a deep breath before exhaling and turning to yang.

Jaune: yang I'll be honest. You make me feel a lot. You make me laugh with your pun, you make me feel like I can fight an army with you by my side. You make me feel, unstoppable...so one thank you, for all of this, and two.. I would like to know if you uh, wanted to go out for a date.

////

Arkos (wait wtf this is new):

Jaune sighed softly as he took a seat. he was much older as his hair was tied into a wolf tail, and he had a 5:00 shadow.

Jaune: Pyrrha.. you made me feel.. so.. so small.. but also so, so, loved. Despite how much better of a leader any of you could be all of you.. had faith and trust in me, especially you! You trusted me to lead you, you let me be honest, I told you a lot of my secrets.. you made me... No, you make me feel like I can always get better. You were incredible Pyrrha. And... I'm sorry I couldn't accept you.. I'm sorry i couldn't fight by you.

Jaune looked up at the metal statue of the great woman he grew to call his closest friend.

Jaune: i loved you Pyrrha... I'm sorry I couldn't realize that sooner.

You know what pisses me off? No Dragonslayer angst because I'm sorry I'm dragonslayer garbage and outright refuse to allow a single jaune ship go without having me write a depressing moment.

So imma fix that... Enjoy balling your eyes out @epic-arc and @spahhzy .. that is if either of you ship dragonslayer.. otherwise I'll just come up with something to prove why i stand as the depressing MF because I stand on big busi-

Dragons heart.. slain.

Yang found herself and her team getting ready for a mission as she heard footsteps. She turned to see jaune as he had a large smile on his face.

Yang would feel a smile crawl up her face as the two embraced eachother.

Yang: didn't expect you to be in a hugging mood. What's up vb?

The two parted as jaune was beaming.

Jaune: nothing really. Just wanted to check in on you.. you know before we both gotta head out for our missions.

Jaune frowned a bit as yang softly cusped his chin before wrapping an arm around him.

Yang: aw don't be so glum vb. When we're done we can spar some more.

Jaune: well. That's not everything-

Ruby: yang! We gotta get going soon! You might wanna make sure your stuff is packed!

Yang: I'll be there soon sis! Alright really sorry vb but I gotta go-

As yang turned to go jaune grasped her hand.

Jaune: wait..

It almost seemed like time stopped when jaune grabbed her. Yang looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"I.. yang I.. I need to tell you something, something important" Jaune spoke as yang was a little confused before motioning him to continue.

"I- yang we've been friends for a long time.. you helped me a lot, so did everyone else but primarily you. and then I started to think and.. yang I.. I'm in love with you" Jaune spoke as yang looked at him, feeling her face heat up.

Now it definitely seemed like time had stopped. As jaune let go. "I, I wanted to tell you for a long time. So just in case something bad happens to either of us, you know how I feel about you" jaune continued as yang looked at him, her face red before without thinking she kissed him. Their lips colliding together as Jaune's face turned crimson before he kissed back.

In that moment, nothing else mattered. Not to Jaune, or Yang. Before finally they parted as jaune could feel his heart race. with Yang pointing at him

"we'll discuss what will happen after we get back.. so don't worry about me kicking the bucket. I'm not gonna be dying so soon after that!" Yang said as jaune simply nodded, a smile on his face as yang ran off towards her team and her sister. As Jaune stood there before he finally exhaled

"i finally did it! Yes!" Jaune cheered before he heard his team calling him, he swore under his breath as he ran towards their direction.

Five weeks later.

Yang sat there looking at a hologram of jaune, as it rested atop a gravestone. Yang felt her eyes trying to release tears but none came as we see tear lines running down Yang's face as she read the gravestone.

Jaune Arc.

February 29th 1971 A.G - August 3rd 1991 A.G

Yang felt a pit in her stomach as she only had one thought.

Why him?

Like a Pro

Yang: We gotta be on our best behavior with my father.

Jaune: Right.

Yang: So no sexy puns.

Jaune: Wait what?  I love our couple innuendos.

Yang: You know I do too, but I just know it’ll set Dad on fire.

Jaune: Like I set you on fire oooor..?

Yang: *cheeks go slightly pink* Jaune...

Jaune: You love it.

Yang: *clears throat* I really do, but I don’t want him going primal on your ass.

Jaune: Hmm yeah I’d prefer you being the only one going primal on my-

Yang: JAUNE! *face fully red now*

Jaune: Haha oh don’t worry Yang, I’ll be good.

Yang: Promise?

Jaune: On my honor as an Arc.

Yang: *sigh* thank goodness.  I might be rubbing off too much on your.

Jaune: Yeah, make sure you behave too.

Yang: Ha! Babe, please.  Pros know when to keep it in check.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tai: So I hear you two spar a lot?  Boy, that takes me back.

Jaune: I’m not sure I’d call it sparring, and more acting like Yang’s sandbag.

Yang: Hey you do fine.

Tai: Yeah Yang can overdo it sometimes.

Yang: Wow, thanks Dad.

Tai: All with love, kiddo.  It doesn’t seem to bother your boy either.

Jaune: Well I’d be lying if I said getting pounded in training doesn’t get tiring.

Yang: Ok don’t get down on yourself Jaune.  We both know you do all the pounding when it’s 1 on 1.

Jaune:

Tai:

Yang: ...guys?

Jaune: Nice pro move

Yang: What are you talkin-oh. OH

Tai: Yang Xiao Long.

Yang: Eep!

Jaune: *sigh*

Tai: Did you just imply doing “that”?

Yang: Um-

Tai: And you just started going out.

Yang: Actually it’s been a few mon-

Tai: You promised me you’d wait until marriage.

Yang: I did, but-

Tai: I don’t recall getting a wedding announcement.

Yang: Daddy please-

Tai: Go yo your room young lady.  Jake and I need to have a “talk”.

Jaune: : It’s Jaune.

Tai: Shut up George.

Yang: No! Jaune’s done nothing wrong!  And I am too old to be-

Tai: ROOM! NOW!

Yang:

Yang zooms off, leaving Tai, Jaune, and the uncomfortable tension between them in the kitchen.

Tai: Well?  What do you have to say for yourself?

Jaune: Before you attempt to murder me, I just want you to know: Yang does NOT call me daddy.

Tai:

Jaune: I figured it might put you at ease.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Based on this post by @idrownfishes0

https://idrownfishes0.tumblr.com/post/673307225388974080/jaune-and-yang-keep-talking-in-innuendo-without

Jaune: Nora, sit down.

Nora: Hold on, I'm taking the picture~

Yang: A picture doesn't take 20 minutes.

Nora: This one does!

Jaune legs crossed to hold it in: You're doing that meme thing, aren't you?  Hurry up so I can use the bathroom.

Nora: You want me to spoil the "morbin time" part?  I will.

Jaune: You cannot be serious.

Yang: Whatever you're doing, quit it and sit down before the movie starts.

Nora: Fine, in the third act when Morbius has to fight-

Jaune: Stop!  Yang, how must time until the movie starts?

Yang: 5 more minutes of ads.  You still need the bathroom?

Jaune:  What can I do to hurry this, Nora?

Nora: Smile and lean more into Yang.

Jaune: There.

Yang, lips tug upward: Lean in a little more, cutie.

Jaune, cheeks dusted red: Yang...

Yang, grinning now: Relax, I won’t bite just yet.

Nora: Yang, don't smile at all.

Yang, confused but complying: Uh, why?

Nora: Don’t worry, don’t worry.  Oh!  Jaune, your smile needs to be teethy

Jaune: Damnit, Nora.

Yang: 4 minutes, Jaune.

Jaune through a gritted-tooth smile: I'll get you for this.

Nora: Aaaannd done.  Was that so ba-

Jaune: Nora, sit in the back with Ren.

Nora: Yes, Mr. Cranky.

Jaune makes a beeline for auditorium exit as Nora walks back to meet Ren.  As she sits down, she brings up the photo of her team leader with the blonde member of their sister team.  When Ren looks over to see what she’s doing, his shoulders sag, mouth curling down in disapproval.

Ren: Nora, Jaune isn’t going to like that.

Nora: I’m sure he won’t mind~

They're watching Morbius 😙

Jaune: Ruby, it's alright. Your... assets simply lie elsewhere.

Ruby: Oh yeah? Where?! *Hits table in frustration, causing a plate of cookies to fall over*

Ruby: Ah nuts! *Quickly turns and bends over to pick them up*

Jaune: 😳

*Thump!*

Yang: Hm? Did you just bump the table with your leg?

Jaune: You could say that, yes.

The Bigger Win

Yang: Ha! I win~!

Ruby: Grrrr! So what I have small boobs! Jaune doesn’t like me because I have a big boobs; He likes me for my adorable personality~!

Yang: True, but I can get him hard in a minute without touching him with these girls. Can you do that?

Ruby: …

Ruby: Jaune, that’s not true is it?!

Jaune: Let’s just say I’m sitting down, behind this table for a reason. Okay?

Yang: Ha, that’s one for me~!

Ruby: Ahh nuts…