Me???? Tired???? Sleepy???? Yes Constantly

me???? tired???? sleepy???? yes constantly

Time

more time

more time

more time

greedily grabbing it

just to throw it away

i need more time

i don't have time

things are piling up

i look the other way

just runnin' away

runnin' again

what's your address

i'm just up in my head

my eyes follow the blaring screens

noise drowning my thoughts

before they can breathe

the music's loud

i don't even understand it

avoiding my language

so the lyrics don't get to me

i don't wanna feel

anything; it's too much

my eyes are glazing over

my mind's gonna explode

it's all too much

so I shut it off

shut it off

just get stuff done

but off I go

cause I've found another one

another distraction

it's pulling me in

everything's great in my head

the real world briefly flashes

before my eyes

until I face another screen

and pay it no mind

complaining about time

till I have none of it left

now the consequences

of my actions

they're chasing me

but I'm runnin' again

runnin' away.

did i know you?

i still think of you

a passing thought in my mind's traffic.

i pay no attention,

"ignore it and it'll go away"

most days, it works.

but some days, in the dead of the night

when the darkness engulfs

both me and my musings,

it does not work.

it does not work and I reach out,

clutching that thought,

clinging to it

the idea of you.

the you I've built in my head.

the you who's soft as the petals of a rose,

comforting like a cup of warm chocolate.

but it isn't real,

it never was.

the real you pricks me

like the thorns of that very rose;

the real you is cold, indifferent.

or maybe,

i don't know you.

my mind deceives me,

there is no black and white,

only a grey haze.

as my fingers hover over your name on my phone,

i pull them back.

maybe I know you, maybe I don't.

maybe I miss you, but it's not enough.

your thorns have pricked me more than once.

so I still think of you,

but I'll never let you know.

too much

is there such a thing as

too much love?

can you love someone too much?

to the point where it's overflowing.

it grows until there's no more space;

until you can't breathe.

the love,

it consumes you.

it consumes your thoughts,

your time,

your emotions,

your entire being.

it twists and turns,

growing and changing,

until you don't recognize it anymore.

until you don't recognize yourself.

it doesn't matter though,

because you'll love every moment of it.

even the parts you hate

you'll love;

you've got too much of it anyway.

trying

they say you’ll know

when someone loves you.

but I love you,

yet you don't know it

i fail to tell you

over and over.

the words are at the tip of my tongue,

threatening to pour out,

but what comes out instead

is venom that scalds your skin.

i swear im trying

my best; this beast

is terrifying. More so

than the thought of you

disappearing. It appears

that im just afraid

to admit it–

to you, to myself.

and I'm hoping,

that your love

will be sustenance enough

for you and me both.

thinking about the casual intimacy of showing someone you love an unfinished work of art, the underlying message saying, i trust you with my unpolished heart