Spilled Poem - Tumblr Posts

Sinking, slipping Why do I always plop right down into what sucks me up and absorbs any remnant of joy? My bed is a monster, it eats me up every day It pulls me down like a magnet, I can’t resist it like iron can’t resist metal I’m sick of it, hate it, wish I could burn it Never need it again But why do I choose it over everything every time? When I’m driving I’m flying But the whole time I’m looking forward to the sweet, sweet relief of my bed I don’t need to try anymore, there’s nothing I need to give It’s a problem, a compulsion, an addiction I riddle my mind with tasks so the dependency is less important Who cares if you’re creating, if you’re producing? But I know it’s not normal to be horizontal more often than straight I need to toughen up, strengthen up, get a stronger back, thicker skin But I cozy up in my bed with the promise of another day Another time I try But it’s haunted, my bed My thoughts are never worse than when I’m in its sheets Coaxed into my personal hell I’m sick of it, sick of it forever It needs to be burned, exorcised From every nightmare, every ghost That plagues my thoughts and jeers at my passions I just want a reset. A point where I don’t have to feel. A place where I don’t have to exist. But it turns out not existing is painful and exhausting. I must keep existing, keep doing, all day, every day. I must keep moving. Faster and faster. I have to stay ahead.

we can be in our own world escape within each others bodies just innocent, with gentle fear no tainted lust all of my past lovers don’t measure up and when i think of them i cringe but you and i will start something new something pure you will love me as the mess i am and i will find that all that i need is within you and we can float away on our own little island and every person who said it couldn’t be done will preen and pry desperate for a look at what we’d created and will it be healthy? well, it’ll be love

masculinity is the same thing that hurt me and that will protect me

it splintered off bone and it’s what will piece me back together 

it’s what tattered my envelope and what will hide me in the rain

because the wrong men hurt me, the wrong men cut me

but the right men heal me, the right men love me

the right men shelter me

like i never could

and i am safe 

in their arms

With the great love that I had for you.

Loved you beyond measures,

That I failed to survive on my own,

But with the help of a CPR & a nebuliser,

That made me make it alive again,

And you're fighting for it by coming back,

That's when I swore to hate you with great passion,

You didn't deserve me nor my love back then,

It's when you are realising how sweet my love was,

Forget not that I'm ♈ Aries ruled by Mars,

So you better guess the answer, Ciao Bella!!

Love’s Demise

In your gaze, my reflection lies,

When did our love freeze, when did it die?

I never fathomed it'd come to this,

The void in your eyes, a love's abyss.

Two souls ablaze, now drenched in tears,

Who knew our passion would drown in fears?

When did our flames turn to icy blue,

In your eyes, I see, our love withdrew.

Love

In love's vast puzzle, we each hold a piece,

Yearning for connection, longing for release.

But forcing the fit, a fruitless endeavor,

For love cannot be coerced, no matter how clever.

Like puzzle pieces, unique in design,

Love finds its match in its own due time.

We search and we seek, hoping to find,

The missing piece to ease the heart and mind.

Yet patience is key, as we wait and we learn,

That love's true beauty will eventually discern.

Forcing pieces together only brings strife,

But letting love unfold is the essence of life.

So trust in the process, let fate take its course,

For love cannot be forced, like puzzle pieces, of course.

Decree of Devotion

In love's grand theater, a choice is made,

Not fleeting fancy, nor whims that fade.

Commitment's vow, a sacred decree,

Beyond mere passion, it's loyalty we see.

Not settling for scraps, nor second-best,

Love's quest demands the heart's true test.

No backup plan, no shadowed guise,

In love's grasp, no hidden lies.

To be someone's secret, a silent plea,

But love demands transparency to set hearts free.

In open arms, true devotion lies,

No clandestine whispers, no veiled disguise.

For love is a decision, resolute and true,

Not just a feeling, but actions imbue.

With courage and honor, we take our stand,

For love and commitment, hand in hand.

Squaddlebum

In the depths of a forest, where shadows loom tall,

Lives a creature unseen, yet known to all.

The squaddlebum, with its feathers of gold,

In the moon's soft glow, its secrets unfold.

With eyes like stars, and a mischievous grin,

It roams the woods, where the wild begins.

With a hop and a skip, it dances through trees,

A creature of wonder, as elusive as the breeze.

Its laughter rings out, like bells in the night,

A symphony of joy, a pure delight.

With wings of silk, it flutters and flies,

Through the midnight sky, where dreams arise.

But beware, dear traveler, in the squaddlebum's lair,

For its tricks and pranks are beyond compare.

Yet if you're kind and pure of heart,

It may share its secrets, and never depart.

So let us marvel at this creature so rare,

With its golden feathers and playful air.

For in the heart of the forest, where dreams succumb,

Lives the enchanting spirit of the squaddlebum.

The Narcissist's Masquerade

In love's twisted labyrinth, shadows conspire,

A false Cupid, cloaked in dark attire.

With whispers sweet and arrows of black,

He ensnares hearts, never looking back.

Beneath his mask of angelic guise,

Lurks a soul consumed by cunning lies.

His words, like daggers, cut deep and cold,

Leaving wounds that never grow old.

He weaves a web of manipulation's art,

Playing with emotions, tearing souls apart.

Each vow of love, a twisted refrain,

Leading lovers to sorrow, to endless pain.

His arrows pierce, not with love's sweet kiss,

But with venomous poison, leaving hearts amiss.

He twists and turns, with deceitful grace,

Leaving behind a bitter, empty space.

Beware the Cupid with wings of night,

For his love is but a poisonous blight.

In his embrace, there's only despair,

A haunting echo of a love unfair.

Emotionally Unavailable

In the fortress of my soul, I dwell alone,

Emotionally distant, carved from stone.

A fortress built with walls so high,

To guard the heart, to hide the why.

In the silence of my solitude, I roam,

A prisoner of my own emotional home.

Beneath the surface, a tempest rages,

Locked away in hidden cages.

Unreachable, untouched, I stand,

A solitary figure in a barren land.

For love's embrace, I cannot receive,

In the shadows where I grieve.

Yet in the depths, a whisper calls,

Breaking through the fortress walls.

A glimmer of hope, a flicker of light,

Guiding me through the endless night.

For even in my guarded state,

Love's gentle touch can penetrate.

And though I may be emotionally unavailable,

I yearn to break free, to be vulnerable.

BACK TO PRISON

Tried to tell you when you leave imma be lost

Well here I am just like I said, staring at a fucking wall

I told you that you’d be gone

My mind is wandering & I have nobody to call

Soon I’ll just be numb to everything & I hope I never care at all

I did this to myself tho, I knew I was gonna break my own heart

You said you’d catch me if I fall

How could you give me everything I ever wanted

Just to turn around and let them take it all

Try to take it day by day, you tell me to stay strong

But I’m not as strong as you think I am, and just like my tears I fall

I don’t know anymore, I just sit where you once were and wonder where you are

I’ll never not think of you, and I’m always hoping that you call

08.28.2023

2:43 P.M.

⛓️

THE LAST TIME

People tell me to stay away from you

I tell them to fuck off

“Tatt my name on you so I know it’s real”

& that’s what I plan to do

And we already got matching mugshots

I was just naked in your bed, I miss you

How’d we end up so far apart?

The mirror beside us was my favorite thing to watch

The last time we had sex, you were asleep in my car

You were mad at me, so I let you doze off

Two hours later, I leaned over & kissed your neck real soft

Like “hey wake up, I want you to take my panties off”

10.26.2023

3:02 A.M.

It’s late so obviously it’s time to have some Big Feelings

Sometimes I am too loud

And I put my foot in my mouth

I say something stupid

Play it off as a joke, it’s okay

But there is one thing that I have always had trouble saying

I’m not sure when I last said “I love you”

I think it, easily, and I feel it

But I can never form the words in a way that others can know

I’m sure I could write it if I tried

But it never feels right

I think the last time I said it

Was as a closing statement to a phone call

But I don’t think it counts

It’s too quick, too perfunctory

Half the time it isn’t even heard

Said too late to matter

I don’t know why I have such trouble with it

I want to but I can’t

So I don’t

And it’s upsetting, to me alone, sure

But I have enough frustration

To make up for for their lack

There are plenty of ways to show love

To make it known

So I employ those instead

Actions often speak louder than words

But even still

Words can be plenty loud on their own

I call myself a poet

Someone who can paint with metaphors

Weave rhymes to make a tapestry of syllables

And yet three little words allude me

Stuck on the tip of my tongue

The edge of my pen

I’ll blame it on the autism

The moon

And the stars

Tried their best,

But I couldn't

Look away

From you. ❤️

The atoms of me

And the atoms of you,

Will be ink one day,

And paper and pen,

And then, at last,

We will be a poem,

A love song;

Some immortal verse.

Let's run away together,

Away from city lights,

Where no-one knows our names yet,

We’ll camp out in the open,

Warming cold skin by the fire,

Tell each other hopes and dreams,

And all of our desires,

We’ll own nothing more than we need,

Watch sunrises color the sky,

Learn what we’re really here for,

Away from society’s eyes,

This journey will be scary,

But we’ll leave without a plan,

And I know it will be alright,

As long as your holding my hand

♡

It appears I am afraid of my success, the supposed inevitability of it. A piece of me finds comfort in the version of myself that settles into practicality. Why must I grow to achieve?

- @annetries-towrite

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Perhaps, to you, this remains insignificant. To me, it is everything. It has to be. I am all I have left.

- @annetries-towrite

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May you attract someone who understands your language.. so you don't have to spend a lifetime to translate your soul..