Roseblueclouds - Nidhi - Tumblr Blog
Fuck all romances except the one of the dreamy booknerd lady, the sarcastic welsh and the soft violist boy
Was it out of comfort that we stayed together? Because when I think back to us, I only remember a sense of warmth, of not having to think before I speak or worry about what you’d think of me. I can’t think of the reasons I loved you or the reasons you loved me. ‘Best friends’ – the two words that kept us tied together but separated by a line. A line drawn in the sand near the waves; a line we might have unknowingly crossed countless times. Maybe during the five-hour phone calls at midnight or a heart emoji at the end of a text, one that meant a lot more than it should have. But at 16, you were the only love I knew. At 19, you slip into my mind sometimes, and I smile back at the years that have passed. I sometimes think of what could have been, but she’s made my life a lot easier. You’re with her now, and the line is a firm one, carved into wood, and a boundary clearly established. A line that has reduced us to old friends who keep in touch.
death by a thousand cuts
a slight sting is all i feel
when your words fall like darts
against the piece of my soul
that i bared to you
you turn another blind eye to me
and i make another excuse for you
another brick on the wall of defense
i've built around your name
should i beg for your love?
get down on my knees
and ask you, "please?"
please love me
like i love the sky
in all its hues and shades
please accept me
with my deformed clouds
and flashes of rain
but all i get are safety pins
piercing my skin
over and over again
you hurt me in ways
i can't seem to name
we seem to be doing just fine
until we're not
and you say our end came out of nowhere
but it was death by a thousand cuts
you’re everything I never wanted to feel, until summer became a time only the rain spoke of kissing. yesterday is just a heartbeat away, but forever has your name on it. Silence has a softer voice when you’re loved, yet nothing is emptier than a room you just walked out of. I smile about you, but I really wish I was smiling at you. If I were to unlove you, it would take all of my heart and more.. so I’m going to start being really good in this life, and maybe I’ll end up with you in the next one.
you left me with feelings I never knew I had.
how could you be empty and still carry the whole universe inside of you? you beat inside my ribcage like the soft throb of waves on the seashore, yet every day is a prayer to a summer of shadows we still sing under. everyone leaves an echo - darling, you’re the warmth my heart needed to survive. the more I love you, the more alive I feel. don't want you to become a chapter in my life, I want us to write this book together.
This is my favorite time in history because you’re alive right now.
"i have so much to do :///" my brother in christ you are still scrolling
i'm starting to run out of fingers
to count the amount of times
you've made my heart flutter in its cage.
a gentle brush of shoulders
or an insult mixed in with smiles
when you grab my arm
to stop me from doing something stupid
or you shake my hand
and hold it for a second too long.
the sound of my name from your lips
carries with it more weight
than the two syllables ever held
and i can't help but want to know you
to travel the paths that led you here
to read the map which points
towards the mountains you've climbed
and the rivers you've swam across.
i want to know what you've left behind
and the secrets you're hiding
i want to know
if you prefer moonlight
to bright yellow sunshine.
dogs or cats? pink or blue?
an endless list of questions
i want more
and more
like a book whose pages are yet to be filled
and i'll wait for you to write down your stories
until we run out of paper and ink
Sylvia Plath
To me you're the morning; you woke me up.
내겐 넌 아침이란 걸 you woke me up
-BTS, '"Her"
ON PURPOSE, I'M GOING TO LOVE YOU ON PURPOSE
Jenny Slate // Casey McQuiston, Red, White & Royal Blue // Pleiades, Anne Carson // Taylor Jenkins Reid, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo // @oriley42 and @earth167 (and a half) on Tumblr // Jodi Picoult from The Book Of Two Ways // The Night Vale, Episode 100, The Toast // Adam Melchor, I Choose You // Kierston White, The Chaos of Stars
And If I Had One Wish
If I had a wish granted,
Dreams of happiness ever implanted,
I'd ask for the best for you,
Your skies fo'ver the prettiest indigo blue.
For you a smile never faded,
A chance you forget reasons to be jaded,
I'd beg some god for you to love,
A wish I couldn't have shared, never spoke of.
i am aching
for a life that is impossible
filled with only the best parts
of books and movies
of green fields and blue skies
of stolen kisses and whispered secrets
i want the pretty rain and soft snow
to return home to a lover's embrace
and food on the table
i want purple clouds and silver stars,
yellow trees and golden air.
i want the world to be rose-tinted and
tinged with summer
the smell of books mixed with that of the rain
white fluffy sheets and hot chocolate
glowing hair and swollen lips
happiness and that's all.
So well written :')
I never knew rock bottom had so many levels, and though today I’m half empty, the other half is love. I don’t know how to swallow all the words I never said, how to keep your name from dragging old loves back into my vocabulary. I never wanted to fix you. I just wanted to hold you until you didn’t care if you thought you were whole or broken anymore. How many nightmares have I woken up from looking at my hands to see if the blood stains are still there? sometimes you have to close a door. Not to keep the bad things out, but to keep the bad things in.
I loved you when there was nothing left to love except these shadows.
ghost of you
a lingering touch on my arm
a quick hug against your side.
gently, you interlace your fingers with mine
just as gently, you press a kiss to my temple.
your thumbs catch the tears on my cheek
and your arms hold me tight against your chest.
your sweet words bring a smile to my face
and your low voice brings an ache to my stomach.
i miss you
deeply, terribly, painfully.
i miss you, yet i don't even know you.
maybe one day i'll meet you
or someone like you,
and i can finally tell them the words
i so desperately wish to say to you.
Lately my home has been nothing but two arms holding me tight when I’m feeling tired, and maybe love is when you allow someone to change you without having to change who you are. your heart is a love letter drenched in the sea, and all I want to do is drown in your existence always.
The closest I get to me is you.
don’t bother them they’re reading
From thoughts to paper, things get lost in translation
“Some things are hard to write about. After something happens to you, you go to write it down, and either you over dramatize it, or underplay it, exaggerate the wrong parts or ignore the important ones. At any rate, you never write it quite the way you want to.”
— Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
Mary Oliver, ‘north country’