18. Queer muslim trying to heal
11 posts
She-is-trying-to-heal - Zainab - Tumblr Blog
How can you say that you've moved on ?
I no longer include her in my future planning. She has no place in my life anymore. No role to fill, no house to share, no kids to raise. Nothing.
No, you don't still love her.
No, she isn't the one.
No, it wasn't just bad timing.
No, giving it another try won't work.
No. No. No.
I'm sorry love, she just isn't the one for you and I know you love her so much but she's not worth it.
The idealised version of her that you have created in your mind deserves your love. Her true self doesn't deserve it in the slightest.
Currently 2 and 3
I have like only three moods:
1) I’m god
2) I’m a failure
3) I’m horny
I am okay without you..
For months.. I prayed, sobbed, and pleaded with any and all deity to make me feel okay without you and now I am actually okay without you.
It feels strange. I know that in the morning there will be no 'good morning' text and that doesn't hurt me anymore. I am able to have a good day even without you. I rarely think of you. It's so strange...I spent so much time building you up in my mind and now you're still in my life but somehow it doesn't affect me anymore. I thought this would feel good but it doesn't. it doesn't feel bad either, just strange. Life is just strange without you and I like it. Thank you for leaving, it was needed.
Help my family to get out and search for what is left of life. The war is devastating. Death is approaching every person and destruction is everywhere. We hope that there is hope before it is too late.
Your support is a lifeline of hope. A few days ago, the area where my family's tents were was bombed, and the situation was very dangerous now. There is no water for thirst everywhere, and there is no food. Food is very expensive. If they want to eat, for example, a simple meal, they need a hundred euros, consisting of vegetables and simple things. If they want fruit, which is not available, the fruits they have not seen for months, and if they find their prices are exorbitant, they live now. I hope you support them and help them get out.
Mohammed Hilles @hmzamahamed3 / fundraiser / #176 on the Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser List / €26,859/€37,000
I would bow down to her.
"Besides, she was the Wraith – the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too." Six of Crows
Motivating myself by looking at my gold so I can accomplish my goal.
Please laugh at the rhyme, a levels is killing me.
I don't believe that God has a physical form.
As a Muslim, we know that God doesn't have a physical form that we can see or touch yet. But while I lay here with a dull ache in my heart, I tried imagining being held in someone's arms. Something to soothe that ache. But then I got this image in my head. A warm blanket of light, of noor, being wrapped around me. I felt a warm feeling spread inside of my body.
That's the same feeling that I used to have whenever I prayed Tahajjud.
God will find a way back into your life and no matter what, you will always end up appreciating it.
I don't know who wrote this. That's the whole point of the unsent project but I resonate with it so much. The person that changed my views on life, on love, on myself, her name starts with a G. The thing is I could lay here in my bed and keep typing and typing about her but I am not gonna do that.
There is a saying, where attention goes, energy flows. This person doesn't deserve my energy anymore. I genuinely wish her the best now but I will not allow myself to be consumed by someone who isn't mine anymore. I would like to think that some part of her is still mine, that maybe in the future we'll make it right and love again but truth is that is just my delusions talking.
To whoever is reading this right now, if you are hung up on someone, please know that at the end of the day all they are is a person, an individual, a human. We have 8 billons of those on this earth. I know that when we love someone, they become everything. They are everything to us but please remember that without your attention, that person isn't actually special. The only thing making them special is your fixation on them. If you wanna heal. Let that fixation go. Let those day dreams go. It sucks. But it works and it's worth it.
Love gets recycled.
To my anxiously attached people, that is me. The love that you poured into another individual will get recycled. You will love again. You will love again. The ache will get dull over time, I promise. If you went through a break-up recently and you were a very crafty person, trust that you will be able to go back to your crafts without thinking about them. One day you will actually stop thinking about them and trust me when I say this, it will feel so weird. It will be another type of ache but it is much better than the ache of heart break.
