You Know, I've Been Writing A Lot Of Fics Where Alphy Absolutely Rails Mono, But I Have A Little Fic

You know, I've been writing a lot of fics where Alphy absolutely rails Mono, but I have a little fic idea tumbling around in my head where it's just him and Saie hanging out in the new manor after Mono finished building it, and being too scared to go into the basement because of an ominous red glow and a horrific noise neither one of them can describe.

"You know, there isn't a zero per cent chance that Mono has a voidsent in there."

It's literally just the boiler.

And later Mono's like, "I'm so glad you two are getting along, but you're both the dumbest people I've ever met. Also, luv, your immigration papers are down there, and I'm not getting them out for you. Good luck, ya baby."

Mono: *Decks the house out with magitek*

Alphy and/or Saie: "WHAT IS THIS?"

There literally isn't anything funnier than them losing their minds over a toaster oven.

Mono likes to sit down outside and stim using nir magic. Usually ne likes to use nir starglobe, because Astrologian spells are peak Autism for nem, and also watching it spin around makes nem go brrrrr, but ne will also build up Requiescat so ne can do a Confiteor/Blade of Faith combo.

Yes, Alisaie often misinterprets nem stimming for training, and Alphinaud often has to tell her, "No, ne isn't training, ne's just doing that because it makes nem happy."

And her impatient arse is always like, "??? What are you talking about?"

Alisaie: "Listen, if Mono spends so much time training, then I have a lot to catch up on."

Mono: "Ooo hoo hoo hoo, pretty colours. 🤩"

Of Trolls and Head Injuries

This is set sometime between 6.0 and 6.1. Mono got seriously injured at the end of Endwalker, so the time between 6.0 and 6.1 is about a year.

I normally read and write very kinky smutfic, so I wanted to try my hand at something else entirely. I want to do more of these types of fics.

Everything you need to know about these two is that Mono is constantly throwing nemself headfirst into literally everything, it doesn't matter what it is, and Alphinaud frets about nem the entire time. And then uses anything as an excuse to baby nem afterwards. They also constantly bumble over each other but that's something else entirely.

Mono uses ne/nem/nir pronouns, but ne also uses they/them, he/him, or she/her, so if you're having a hard time conjugating nir pronouns, you can use one of those.

Enjoy!

You can also find me on Aethy.

>>>Read on AO3<<<

Mono: "I just think that having Ul'dah run by the Syndicate, where membership is dictated entirely by one's economic contributions, means that Ul'dah is going to be shaped by a particular person's very narrow worldview and interests. Ul'dah needs major economic and political reform."

Alphinaud: "I know that's what you think, and we are in agreement."

Mono: "So I am allowed to release Lolorito out into the Carteneau Flats and hunt him for sport?"

Alphinaud: "We've been over this: no."

Alphy has had Mono's blood on his hands on multiple occasions, but it's a different feeling altogether when he was the one who hurt nem.

He'd do literally anything for nem, so when he hurts nem, he does a damn good job of it.

Mono: Hey, I know this is usually something that you don't want to have happen, but it is a thing where you revive dead party members via resurrection magicks. Do you think it'd be hot to, like, stab me in the throat and then pump me full of Egeiro and then Taurochole or whatever?

Alphy, trying to hide his erection: Absolutely not. I'm not doing that. You cannot get me to do that. *Is going to be thinking about that forever now*

Your F/O knows how tired you are after work/school, so they do their best to prepare food and blankets and whatever else you need so you can relax as soon as you get home.