This Week Im Gonna Get Out And Be Social Again! Im Gonna Make New Friends And Smile At Passersby And

“This week I’m gonna get out and be social again! I’m gonna make new friends and smile at passersby and chat up my friends and be a ray of sunshine to everyone!”

the other six days of the week: “Shut up with all the noise, leave me alone”

What happens when I run out of social energy

what they say: "Hi, how are you?" what I hear: "HI HOW ARE YOU?? TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW" what it feels like: thousands of tiny needles poking my eardrums what they say: *distant chattering of others* what I hear: stnd*iat gchanteitr oxf st*heor what it feels like: turning the shower up too hot what they say: "Why won't you talk to me?" what they mean: "Are you okay?" what I hear: "Wow you are so rude for ignoring me!" what it feels like: getting punched in the gut what I say: "Can you leave me alone for a while?" what I mean: "Just for an hour tops, I'll probably feel better then, no hard feelings but I can't social right now" what they hear: "I hate you and I never want to see you or hear you again! Go wither away for the rest of your pathetic life!" what they say: "Wow you really are just rude! What did I ever do to you?" what I feel: shame what I tell myself: "Look what you did now, you jerk! Go hide in your room for eternity, you can't even be a good friend to anyone."

friends: *discussing music*

me: I've never heard of half this stuff, so I shouldn't say anything... besides, they probably aren't interested in what I listen to anyway

friends: So what kind of music do you like?

me: I'M GLAD YOU ASKED *produces phone and auxiliary cord from pocket*

Some days I wonder what it would be like to get inside someone's head, to see things from their point of view and in the way they understand.

Other days I remember how little of myself I actually show people, and the things I don't want them to see; and then I know it would be a terrible idea.

The simultaneous "yes"

I didn't participate in a lot of events at my gifted school, mostly because they involved being "social," or "leaving" my room. I remember the dances were the most fun to stay back in the dorms for, because everyone was gone and that meant WAY better internet.

There was, however, one event I always loved to participate in: the Gold Rush, known one year as the Gem Hunt. It was organized annually (or occasionally semi-annually) by a student life advisor named Jim. He was an outdoors-y kind of person, and this was his attempt at getting us students unfused from our keyboards and into the sunshine.

He went out and hid colored rocks around the campus for the students to find. These could be traded for fancy prizes like snacks and stuff. There were a few bigger rocks that were worth a lot more, but they were much more deviously hidden; I remember one up in the nook of a tree, hidden by the leaves. But the best prize was the giant rock, which was always the central focus of the hunt - whoever found it would be granted anything - within reason, of course, which usually meant either worth ~$15, or some sort of service like "a private fire in the back for me and my significant other." In sum, it was kind of like a high-stakes Easter egg hunt.

Our campus was located on top of a college campus, and there were four major routes: two paths from each dorm to the school building, a path between the two dorms, and a path out by the lake. Each time the hunt was on, I went up and down those about ten times each looking for the rocks. Of course, I was always most interested in the big rock, because I could feasibly get a game with it.

The year of the gem hunt (the last one before I went to college), I had made my routes up and down the dorm paths, but hadn't gone out to the lake yet, so I invited one of my closest friends, Eric, to come with me. We agreed that if we found it, we'd split the prize.

The lake path is the longest by far - about half a mile. It's popular with the college students as an exercise path, both for the length and the scenic route. We started at one end and combed the whole path, finding bunches of little rocks that most others had missed. We even found some in pieces of trash, like old chip bags. But there were no large rocks, and the number of small rocks seemed to be fewer towards the end of the path. Moreover, we didn't find the largest rock.

So I convinced Eric to look with me another couple of times. All we found was more trash. I was certain it was somewhere near the lake, as I had already scoured the other paths without success. Finally, after maybe the fifth pass (without finding any more rocks), I conceded and we went back. To give an idea of the time, we started at 3PM and didn't go back until 6.

After eating dinner (and convincing ourselves someone else found it), we went to talk to Jim. I turned in my haul for some snacks and casually mentioned the large rock.

"Yeah, no one found it this time," he said. "I'm pretty proud of where I hid it." "Really?" Eric chimed in. "Can you tell us?" "It's late enough that no one's going to find it, so I suppose... Do you guys remember seeing a crushed styrofoam cup?"

What followed could have come straight out of a movie. Eric and I both turned to each other with shocked realization, then turned back and, with perfect timing, deadpanned:

"Yes."

Because out of all the litter lining the lake, there was only one small styrofoam cup, located near the beginning of the path at the lake's edge. And we had both ruled it out, because the large rock definitely couldn't fit. How could that possibly have worked out?

"There's a small gold rock in there," he explained. "I tied some fishing line to it. On the other end is a plastic bag with the big rock in it. I dropped that into the lake itself. So when someone found the small rock, they would find the large rock."

We all got a good laugh out of it. Although I was mostly laughing at the mind-reading Eric and I did. Secretly, I was screaming at Jim.

Internet grammar

The way we use the Internet has fundamentally changed the way we use language. That's a pretty obvious observation, sure, but there's subtleties that some people may not pick up on.

If you were to give any formal writer a deep look into these kinds of changes, there would probably be lots of cringing involved. But if there were a person who could catalog the new ways people have shaped language, it would actually help in being a much more effective writer. It would be especially useful for things like public relations, advertising, or blogging. I'm not just saying this to help people attract the "young, hip" crowd - I'm bringing this up because it seems no one else has extensively looked at these trends.

Consider the following example. I'm writing an IM to someone I know. This person just sent me a picture that I don't get, so I inquire:

"What is that?"

There's a few different ways this can be altered by looking at just punctuation and capitalization, and they really change the way someone might read it.

"What is that?" - most inquisitive, mildly serious, a touch formal "What is that" - almost matter-of-factly stated "what is that" - muffled, least serious, monotone

These are the ways I read it, and it may be different from others, but the subtleties are there among everyone's writing styles. Other, more deviant variants include:

"wat" - joking, possibly sarcastic "What." - joking but still heavily inquisitive "What is THAT." - most serious, threatening tone "What is that...?" - trailing, most confused

I could go on and on about each particular part of the variations, how they play off each other, where they apply to more formal instances... but I think the point is pretty clear.

These are fairly recent phenomena for the most part, so it's possible that people haven't had the time to really look at them. However, I think that it would be a huge benefit to do so, even if different people may use them slightly differently. If nothing else, it'd make for an interesting study.