It's Funny Just Howpowerful A Few Words Are.

It's funny just how powerful a few words are.

In real life social situations, I'm able to get away with silence. Just being with a group, whether I talk much or not, begins to open them up to me somehow. I've always sort of used that to my advantage (being shy and all), and strangely enough, it's served me well - I have a few lifelong friends just from existing in a location near these people. It's also helped me feel like I'm part of the group I'm with, that they know I'm part of them too.

On the Internet, that don't fly. If you want to be noticed, you have to speak up. And for the longest time, I never got the memo.

When I started out here on the web, I spoke briefly and went back to lurking. I thought people would notice my presence the "normal" way; that if I hung out long enough, I would be accepted more. But I didn't say enough, and even when I did, I never truly felt like I was part of the discussion. As a result, I've been pretty invisible.

Just recently I figured it out - if I don't say anything, how will people notice me? They won't. On the internet, you are displayed when you post something; if you don't post, you don't show up, simple as that. When I learned that, it hit me pretty hard, but then I realized just how obvious that should have been.

And then, just yesterday, I realized how easy it is to say something: just reply to other people. Original content can be hard/time-consuming (look how many posts I've made! hurr durr), but with a reply, the conversation is already started! And it's not hard in the slightest - I've always been one for situational conversation, just letting it flow while I comment here and there.

Not only am I putting myself out there, but more importantly, I'm also spreading joy. I always get super excited when someone replies to my tweets/posts/etc., so why not do that for other people? I'm happy, they're happy... it makes perfect sense!

I'm just surprised it took me this long to figure out.

Whoa, it's an update!

Hi there! Just wanted to check in, I've been pretty busy lately!

I know I don't exactly update regularly, but the past few weeks have been especially distracting for me, and that's been reflecting in my post schedule. I'm hoping to change that and start updating more regularly. Maybe even daily!... Okay fine, I couldn't type that with a straight face. But I will try to post regularly enough to seem like I'm not dead half the time, even if it's just a single post on Twitter. This goes for the music blog too, which has been dormant for several months now; I'm hoping to have a new song up by the end of the day.

Secondly, I'd like to get back into my hobbies again. I haven't been so busy that I don't have time to enjoy them, but I've been falling out of my hobbies in favor of other kinds of time-wasting. I'd like to change that, but I can't seem to get myself back into it, so I'm going to try something new: I'm going to start doing Let's Plays and streams in the future. It's something I've been wanting to try for a while now, and hopefully it'll refocus my attention on games and level design, rather than refreshing the same eight websites over and over. I'm certainly not starting this today or anything, but hopefully I'll start sometime next month.

Finally, as an update on the paranoia/depression posts, I started seeing a counselor about my issues. We're working through finding the root of all the problems I outlined, and it's going quite well. If nothing else, it's good to rant about my problems and mental musings to someone every week.

Thanks for reading my blog! You're why I keep writing. ^_^

My friends are my family.

I was born an only child, but my family adopted my cousin (who is now my brother) when I was ten. My family on my father's side are across the country, and we've never been keen on visiting them. My family on my mother's side don't like us, for the most part; my grandparents on her side are the only real family I have outside of the household.

That's it. Six people at best, and I haven't seen my grandparents all that often. I'm not here to complain about it; this is just the life I've known.

I've heard stories about other people's families. Stories about great uncles and second cousins, three sisters, great grandparents who are still holding on. Visiting the grandparents for Thanksgiving, sleepovers at the aunt's and uncle's, being an uncle at twelve years old. Family newsletters. I might envy it if it didn't sound so foreign to me.

So instead of these things, I made friends. Friends at church, friends in the neighborhood. There were no friends at school, because I was homeschooled. We moved about every three or four years, so I lost these friends on a consistent basis. And to make matters worse, we didn't have internet access, so I didn't know I could keep up with them. After a while I just stopped trying too hard, because there was really no point.

Then I went to high school, gifted school. I made friends that actually stuck. I messed around on the internet and made friends here too. There's a few people I still talk to despite being out of high school for a year now. I'm much more comfortable making and keeping friends; now they fill the void where my "extended family" would be. I may not have many friends, but I love each and every one.

If you're reading this and you'd like a new friend, shoot me an ask or something! I'd love to chat. Just because I don't go and ask people myself or start conversations, doesn't mean I'm not willing to do so... I'm just a little shy a lot of the time. This goes for my friends too, just because we don't talk all the time doesn't mean I don't think about you.

One last thing: I am fiercely loyal to my friends family. You can insult and attack me all you want to, but do not so much as look at them the wrong way or I will make your life miserable.

Custom tracks in Mario Kart 8.

It's happening.

I'd like to take the next few minutes to point out the absurdity of Ikea packaging.

My roommate and I just got a package from them in the mail. We weren't expecting the package for another week. Upon its untimely arrival we opened the package to find a white board wrapped in green bubble wrap.

First: the board. This is the table itself. There's no legs in the packaging. My roommate double-checked the order and indeed, we ordered a full table, but over the next few days we're expecting to receive the legs... in four different shipments.

Next: the bubble wrap. Actually, I can't call it that. It's some sacrilegious knockoff.

Please excuse the poor photography.

It's green. And square. That should've been my warning. But I gave it the benefit of the doubt and tried to pop it.

It squished, only to reform when I let go.

It literally just goes back to normal.

Even squishing large sections of it doesn't work; the air is shared between rows of the bubbles. Stomping it isn't as effective as it should be either; it's nigh-unpoppable. Poking holes in it is the only effective solution.

The result of poking holes in the "bubble wrap."

But since they share all the air, it deflates large swaths of bubbles.

Whatever this voodoo is, it's certainly not bubble wrap. Somehow they managed to take all the fun out of it. It's square, it doesn't pop, and it's connected in series. Who the heck does this?

...oh. The same people who send a table in five shipments.

how the hell do i talk to people