Harry: Life Have A Premium Deal, A Gold Package Of Giving Me Problems.

Harry: life have a premium deal, a gold package of giving me problems.

Draco: I- babe what?

You loved me first but I loved you last- Draco’s version. 

We were in second year when I vividly remember Pansy said that doing arithmetic was the easiest she ever had to do and I agreed that day but back then I didn't know you, but now I do and now my answer is different. 

Loving you was the easiest thing I ever had to do, ever. 

I wonder most nights, even after you’re gone, why is it that it was so easy to love you? How did I fall for you so easily when I had always been so cautious of my heart, cautious of who I was loving, who I was giving my heart to? But I suppose I know the answer, its because, it was you. Just you. There is nothing that I should add to it or think of it or describe to it because the answer is only 3 letters, one word. Loving you was like the simplest thing in the world because what was there in you that I could not love. Loving you was like learning moon is a satellite, sun is a star and clouds are just water. You were like the most beautiful wave I had ever seen, the only wave I wanted to be drowned in, you were like the most beautiful set of piano played in the world, you were like all the letters written in calligraphy. It was easy to love you because it was so simple to adore you, to fall for you.

I perhaps was unaware of what I was doing when I started falling for you but I think I took a chance in loving you because you said you loved me first and I thought that maybe, because you fell for me first, your feelings would not change. But I was wrong, more wrong than I had ever been in my whole life.  I thought it could never be possible for you to fall out of love with me because of all the words laced with love you said, all the names you gave me, with the ways you adored me, i thought it wasn't possible but I was so wrong.

But I'm rendered speechless everytime I still think of you, you were and are that one thing in my life that reminds me of gravity, you are my gravity that keeps pulling me down and that made it easier to love you. I loved you from the moment you decided that you didn't want to drink coffee at your favourite cafe because they didn't make tea and you knew how much I rather liked tea better. You changed your cafe for me and it made me love you in incomprehensible ways and yet I wonder where did it all go wrong. Where did it go wrong that in this love story we managed to make, I'm the only one standing with my heart in my hand and you're not here, you're not even close anymore. Where did it go wrong that one day you simply said that you couldn't be with me anymore? I wonder if I was never enough for you. I wonder if my love was not enough to make you stay.

I wish that I could have loved you a little longer or maybe you'd had stayed a little longer so I could have put pieces together, so as to understand why you didn't you love me anymore but you didn't stay and I let you go because I think I suffocated you. I just want to know the moment when you realised that I'm not the one you wanted to be with because every lonely night when I stay up and every morning I wake up, I cry in silence with my heart so heavy because all I ever wonder is when did you fall out of love with me? But I thinking faced with reality, I wouldn't be able to confront the reality because if you told me the truth, the moment you fell out of love with me, I think I'd die a little more than I already have.

But I think the problem wasn't you but me, if you could not bare to look at me anymore because just like everyone else, you too got bored of me, you too understood that being with me was nothing but a waste of time and space and love. Perhaps you too realised that loving me would be a dead end, that it's like walking on a lonesome street because nothing stays forever with me and you understood it pretty soon but the part of me who loves you in indescribable ways, it thinks about what if you had stayed with me, for a little longer and how I could had shown you that you were my entire world. You still are.

I always thought that if there was one person I would never need recovery from, that would be you but you are the only person who has hurt me in ways that goes beyond my power of explanation but I would never reverse time to undo whatever happened because being with you, even when you caused me this insufferable pain, I'd never redo a single moment because you are that rare pearl that you find only in the deepest of the ocean. If I had to repeat us altogether, I would do it all again, in a heartbeat, from the beginning till the end only because I know I'll get you for another time, for moments longer than two and I'll love you all the same.

But I would never deny that this pain that you caused me by saying those few simple words, "I'm sorry but I don't love you anymore," those few words were the hardest thing I ever had to listen and I wish I were even deaf but every night these words repeat itself and I cry myself to sleep in the same pillow I have been confessing my tears for a while now. These words shatters my world, breaks my heart, my soul, my existence but I couldn't make you stay, not with my words, not with my love, not with my affection, so perhaps you looked for something more than this and I hope you may find it in someone that isn't me but if time comes when you run out of people, run out of roads to go on, I hope you remember that in the sunset we painted, you're still all the colours in my sunset and you will always be. So one day if you choose to love me back once again, I want you to know that I'll still be there, painting the canvas of our sunset waiting for you to join me.

Because I got a request to write alternative version with Draco on Instagram.

Tagging a few people for boost, you can ignore if you like <3 (don't hesitate to tell me if it's a bother)

@drarrywords @phoebe-delia @chinike @elenaxoxo22 @thecornerofbelu @nv-md @littlebodybigheartttt @lilthislilthat @cissa-bee @cluelesspigeons @missdrarrydawn @harryandginnydeservesbetter @draco-lucious-potter @ravena-wrote @textrovert-01

Always my home

Hurt/comfort.

Love is perhaps like a wave that hits the shore. It's like when you're little and you go towards the wave to catch it but as soon as it comes towards you, you run away, but when you're old and much wiser and much more heart broken you run towards the wave and you wait for it to drown you. Love is perhaps that wave that never comes back and take you to the widest of the ocean to never be reunited with the shore again. You might reach another shore one day, but it's not home. 

Because home isn't a place, it's a person.

He was my home. All my life I thought loving someone would be the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do but he made it so easy, with his wicked jokes, his beautiful smile, his love for the most ultimate romance of all time, his gorgeous eyes and the heart that only ever had so much love to give. I think every time I looked at him, I loved him more and more and even though I never thought i’d be able to love him, I did and in all the time we spent together, I didn’t regret even a single moment even when he gave made that stupid badge just to get my attention. I loved the conversations we had, the intimacy we had, the calls we had, the texts we had- every moment I spent loving him have been the best moments of my life and I’d cherish them for as long as I live, for as long as the sun loves the moon, for as long as there’s a lover sitting by the window confessing their love to the moon, I’d love him with everything in me. Maybe there is a universe where him and I fight all the battles, where maybe we stay on the same side- always, where maybe we sit under the stars every night and dance, where maybe we go to karaoke’s so we sing our hearts out, where we sit across table and discuss our grocery list, where maybe we joke about in martian language in public and freak everyone out, where we hold each other's hand without ever fearing a moment where we don't hold hands, where we say I love you without fearing the world. Maybe there is a universe where we work out and I hoped that it was this universe but I don't think it is.

This perhaps is the universe where we don't work out because we're not the same him and I. We don't belong together, not here at least. We couldn't share our love in the secrecy of forbidden rooms or in the secrecy of notes passed between hallways. We can't be together because I can't have only half of him when I want to love the whole of him. We can't be together because we're not destined to be. I've heard it often that if things are supposed to work out with someone, they will, but apparently, me and him, thing's between us were never supposed to. I see him from a distance and I know one day he'll be someone else's and as much as that pains my wretched heart, I'm glad that someone would be able to love his heart in the ways I could've done all my life but couldn't but even if one day he comes back to me with his heart in the palm of his hand, I'll open mine and make space for his.

I hoped this was our universe, I still hope that it is but even if it isn't, It'll be okay. We'll be fine, both of us, with our heart's with someone else even if I only wanted my heart to be yours and yours to be mine but it'll be okay, I know one day It will be but if I'm sure of one thing, it's that, no matter what, he will always, always be my home.

An altered draft from what was supposed to be a part of ATW.

Tagging a few people for boost, you can ignore if you like <3 (don't hesitate to tell me if it's a bother)

@drarrywords @phoebe-delia @chinike @elenaxoxo22 @thecornerofbelu @nv-md @littlebodybigheartttt @lilthislilthat @cissa-bee @cluelesspigeons @missdrarrydawn @harryandginnydeservesbetter @draco-lucious-potter @ravena-wrote @textrovert-01

Apparently I'm having a class at 10 in the night by @drarrywords

Okay now that I've finally finished heartstopper as a comic and series too and I know I'm definitely Charlie spring then WHERE IS MY NICK NELSON 💀???????

I will do WHATEVER I can do as long as I can wear more rings, even if that means buying more fingers.

She'll buy new fingers to wear more rings, she will do whatever she has to if she can wear more rings.

- daily dose of iconic w rach