: '

𝐅𝐲𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫 𝐃𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐞𝐯𝐬𝐤𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐂𝐢𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐚𝐥

Bill Cipher, “the Book of Bill”:

"... I don't need anyone, I NEVER HAVE, and I DON'T MISS ANY OF THEM! I'M FINE!".

Fyodor Dostoevsky, “Character card letter”:

“I'm always alone. And this is fine by me. Has been, and always will be”.

Yes, they're both “fine”. Only Bill screams into the void, and Fyodor becomes one.

So what do we have here? Two infinity-old almost-immortal demons, who destroy themselves just to prove they can be alone forever.

Spoiler alert: they can't. And they despise the vulnerability that's still left inside of them.

Well, at least Bill's in therapy. But he is also at the point of breaking. Fyodor is still holding on, I guess? But barely.

𝗗𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗲𝘃𝘀𝗸𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁𝘀 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗚𝗼𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘁𝘆

Dostoevsky hates having feelings. They remind Fyodor about his own humanity. So how does he cope? He projects his feelings onto God.

Every time he experiences an emotion, either positive or negative, he pretends that it's some kind of “God's message”.

Fyodor believes that all of his emotions belong to God or come from him. Demon assumes: all that he feels is reflection of God's will.

“My ability hurt me and made me feel wrong. Of course, God wants to remove all the abilities in the world!” — something like that.

Dostoevsky can't allow himself to be angry, sad, bitter, or jealous. He sees emotions as excessive and would never acknowledge the simple fact that he has them.

But what If something upsets God? Then, Fyodor has to act. It's not for him, it's not selfish, it's for the sake of Creator.

And coincidentally, almost magically, everything that Fyodor hates, displeases God too. Everything that causes Fyodor pain, well, God wants it gone as well.

And every person who Fyodor likes, hates or simply can't save? God welcomes them in Heaven. In his Godly rehabilitation center.

Pretty convenient, yes?

You can see how Fyodor's faith isn't meant to restrict him. It's a system of beliefs he uses to enable and redirect everything he can't accept in himself. Every feeling, thought and compulsion Dostoevsky doesn't want to take responsibility for – they all come from God.

All Fyodor's love is for God.

All of his anger is for God's sake.

All his sins are God's responsibility, already predestined and included in God's plan.

This way Demon can't be held accountable for his actions or emotions. Because all Dostoevsky's feelings aren't his. They belong to God.

It's His will speaking through Fyodor's heart strings.

Since Dostoevsky can't have human emotions. Even all of his impulses are controlled by God and Him alone.

If likes or hates someone, it's not his personal preferences. It's Higher power sending him a signal.

Therefore Fyodor doesn't have to see or evaluate himself as an individual, but only as a continuation of God's will.

This way no shame, anger, or guilt can ever apply to him.

This what Dostoevsky tells himself.

People don't hate Fyodor – they hate God's will. Therefore, they are sinners. And will be treated accordingly. None of their words ever apply to Fyodor as a person.

So he'll do his best not to care at all.

Nikolai's favourite medicine

Gogol: It hurts, it hurts so much! Ahaha!

Sigma: What the... What's so funny?

Gogol: My brain converts pain into laughter. It's the best medicine and it's free.

Sigma: You've been stabbed! Repeatedly.

Gogol: Hahahaha...

Sigma: I'm calling the ambulance. Now.

Gogol: I know another good medicine. Show me your beautiful smile...

Sigma: Stop flirting with me, you're dying!

Fyolai: they can't be normal, even when they try

Nikolai: I feel less invisible when people laugh at me. I am not an empty space if I can make someone giggle until their stomach aches. So where did you bury your funny bone, Fedya? Tell me!

Fyodor: At the end of the world. When reality splits in half, so does my scull and I smile. The apocalypse is the only thing I find truly funny. People pray, beg, fight… Still in the end it's worth nothing.

Nikolai: Ok, let me try again. Quiz time! Where is Fyodor's funny bone? It's in his ribs, of course!!

(Two pair of hands appear in the air and tickle Fyodor mercilessly until he giggles in the uncannily light tone).

Nikolai: Fedya, do you think, people will smile with relief when we disappear? Will they celebrate the moment we are gone?

Fyodor: Not that we would know.

(I know they will, of course).

New leaks for the chapter 117 look wild!

But I'm glad to see the whole ADA gang together again! Seems even some mafia members joined them. The reunion turns out to be epic!

Can't wait for the entire chapter.

(What if everyone will become bubbles,

And then go pop! Will they be able to recover? I need to know now)

𝗙𝘆𝗼𝗱𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗡𝗶𝗸𝗼𝗹𝗮𝗶: 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗱𝘆𝘀𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝘄𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿

Fyodor can't function without God the same way Nikolai can't function without freedom.

Their personalities are so off-balanced and incompatible with reality, they need something outside of it to feel whole.

Eventually, their immense need to rely on Freedom/God distorts the very source of their comfort.

Freedom gets bloody, and God becomes hungry for the sacrifice.

But it isn't that freedom or God have fundamentally changed. What changed were their brains of those perceiving them and their motivations.

Gogol and Dostoevsky needed an ideal that would inspire them to live, no matter how disappointed they are with their own existence.

Both Clown and Demon also looked for a justification, a place onto which they could project their hidden pain, without directly interacting with it.

Fyodor and Nikolai were pretty angry at what happened to them in the past. Whatever it was, it hurt. And still does.

But neither Dostoevsky, not Gogol can't acknowledge that. If they would ever do so, these two would have to admit: they still care about people and the way people treat them.

So each of the duo says that they're hurting others, not for the personal gain or out of a desperate attempt to feel better. No, they're doing for the ideal: be it “Freedom” or the “God”.

It allows both Fyodor and Nikolai to keep lashing out, while keeping their self-images intact.

They keep saying to themselves: “I hurt others because of how inhuman I am”. While in reality the opposite is accurate.

They both became criminals because of their humanity, albeit flawed one.

Of course, Gogol's idea of freedom is almost broken or at least showing cracks. But Dostoevsky's obsession with God's is as strong as ever.

It'll only grow stronger, the closer Fyodor gets to the end of his goal.

Dostoevsky rushes towards it with all of his might because despite all his prayers and hopes, living with his version of God is still unbearable.

It kinda hurts.

And he wants it to stop.