Love Your Analyses! They're Very Nice To Read And Touch A Lot Of Internal Conflicts C:

Love your analyses! They're very nice to read and touch a lot of internal conflicts C: ♡♡♡

Thank you so much! •O• I love dissecting character motives and contradictions within, yet I'm always a bit scared that it's boring to read about. But your words made me feel so happy and proud 😤 Now I feel inspired to write even more stuff!

𝐃𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐞𝐯𝐬𝐤𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭

Fyodor can't love himself through his POV. He can't tolerate his mind from his own perspective. Dostoevsky resents his being, his soul, and thoughts. They're tainted by Fyodor's self-judgement, disappointment in his results, unattainable standards, other inner struggles.

But then he imagines God, it's different. Fyodor takes a look into His higher mind through prayer, and sees light and warmth directed at humanity. That makes Dostoevsky want to be a part of it again.

Not in the present, though, where people are sinful and cruel. In the future. Fyodor will join the renewed, renovated humanity, freed from abilities, living joyfully in heaven. They'll all be loved by God, by each other and even by themselves. Forever. He wants to believe in that.

𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 𝐆𝐨𝐠𝐨𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧: 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬

You know how cats can purr, when they enjoy stuff, but also when they need to sooth their physical suffering? Well, Gogol is the same with smiles. The more pain Nikolai feels, the more “smiley” he gets, until the agony becomes too unbearable and he breaks.

Maybe, Gogol has some subconscious belief that if he keeps smiling, things will turn out to be alright? Or, perhaps, he doesn't want to give another person the satisfaction of seeing his anguish. It all comes down to Nikolai wanting to prove to himself that he can enjoy anything, any kind of pain. That nothing is impossible for him.

Gogol even smiled after hearing that Dostoevsky was going to kill him. The only time he couldn't do it anymore was when he thought Fyodor was gone. It was the only instance, when Nikolai forgot how to do anything: move, laugh, speak or breath.

The mask of a clown was gone and there was nothing underneath, but a frightened kid, watching his friend being killed.

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𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐮𝐭: 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭?

I wounder, how Nikolai felt, when he realized he couldn't choose death. Did he hate himself for wanting a friend so badly, he couldn't do the “right” thing and liberate himself?

Or was Gogol secretly hoping that Fyodor would offer him another way forward, an alternative, without death, pain and torture?

So Nikolai followed Dostoevsky to the end of the earth, hoping to get a response. But Fyodor didn't know it too. His answer was to kill, and kill again. Everyone who opposed him must be eliminated. Gogol could only smile sadly, realizing his friend, too, was stuck in his ways.

But maybe now, when the world is split open and filled with bubbly foam, Nikolai will find another path forward? The one that would allow him to seak freedom, without taking lives from others or forsaking his own?

Logs on to see someone spam like my posts: :o

They’re a BSD fan: (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡ (°▽°) ･:*+.\(( °ω° ))/.:+

They write analysis on the characters I struggle to write the most:

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

On a different note your analysises are genuinely interesting and I enjoy reading them!

You're so sparkly! ✨✨Love your art, it's so fluid and lively. I'm always fascinated to see an artist grow while exploring different styles 🤩 Thanks so much for affirming my writing (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) I'm always happy to hear when someone enjoys reading my analyses.