My Therapist Just Told Me My Problem Is That I Need To Write More Fanfiction.

My therapist just told me my problem is that I need to write more fanfiction.

This is some shit from a Ghibli flim

‘My cat Max’ by Irina ♡

With much forgiveness, anyone can go from foe to friend.

Frustrated tears cooled the warm face of the young girl seated by herself outside in the warm summer afternoon. No matter what, this day felt especially bad and her thoughts wouldn’t stop for anything no matter what she did to halt them.

However, the world would have it where she could have no privacy and was soon approached by someone else.

“Cassie?”

She rubbed her face quickly and turned to look at the voice that called her. “Jessica? Why are you here?”

Her eyes looked off. “You’re annoying ass brother wouldn’t leave me alone. He didn’t know where you were so I… figured you’d be here.”

Cassie’s head shook. “How did you know I would be here?”

“Because, dummy, this is where you and… him would hang out isn’t it?”

Thankful she hadn’t mentioned the name, Cassie still felt a twinge in her chest and turned her head away. “I guess so…”

The pair remained in a stiff silence and Jessica made no effort to say anything. Cassie didn’t move and remained sitting on the ground with her knees pulled up to her face. Eventually, Jessica sat down beside her and let out a sigh.

“Can I ask, why you’re out here?”

Cassie just shrugged. “I wanted to be alone.”

“Because?”

“Just because.”

Jessica rolled her eyes knowing they weren’t going to get anywhere. She didn’t know if things were right for her to say considering their relationship up to this point, but she felt a bit like she could say one thing.

Now, it was a matter of if she wanted to say it or not.

Jessica sat on that thought for a while and eventually Cassie shifted to stand up.

“I’m sorry Ren bothered you. I think I’m just gonna head home now.”

Jessica said nothing as Cassie started to walked off. She didn’t get very far before Jessica got to her feet as well and caught Cassie by her arm.

“Hey just… you don’t have to leave.”

Cassie didn’t look back.

“Just, let me say something okay?” Jessica’s grip only tightened and soon she let out a slight groan before speaking. “Were you crying over Aki?” Feeling her arm tense, Jessica assumed she was right.

“I wasn’t crying,” Cassie said with her head turned away.

“Come on already, I know you were crying and I know it had to be because of him.”

Cassie continued to shake her head and she started to yank her arm trying to break away from Jessica.

“Look, I miss him too, and it wasn’t like I had any reason to; but you can’t sit here and cry about him. It’s over and time to move on.”

More violently this time, Cassie pulled her arm and used her free hand to pull as well. “Let go of me!”

“No, just… if you don’t have anyone to talk to, then you can talk to me.”

“No, I can’t.”

“Why can’t you? What’s the issue with just telling me something I already know?”

Cassie, with a frustrated tone, said, “because you’ve always acted like you know everything! Even when you would bully me because of some boy.” Jessica’s grip loosened and Cassie was able to pull her arm back to her side.

Trying to ignore the first part, Jessica moved on. “So, he was just some boy to you?”

Cassie sighed. “No, he wasn’t just some boy and you fucking know that.” Cassie ran a hand through her hair. “I just used to think it was so ridiculous that you were actually bullying me because of a crush you had on a guy who was dating someone else.”

Jessica wrapped her arms around her waist. “Yeah, I know it was stupid.” She paused. “But, you can’t blame me. I had no other choice, especially when… I had no chance.”

“So you were aware Aki would never like you, yet you still bullied me to no end?” Cassie scoffed. “I’m not sure how I should feel about that. This whole conversation is making me feel that way."

Jessica kept her eyes away from Cassie’s figure and as the silence fell over them, she could only hear her thoughts trying to answer that exact question. Eventually, Jessica managed to find some words and looked back at Cassie who was scowling at this point.

“I know I should say something like sorry to you, but that would be a lie. I don’t feel sorry for what happened, I feel like I should make it up to you instead.”

“Huh?”

“Like, I know what I did to you. Saying sorry isn’t going to make up for the years I made fun of you, the rumors I spread about you, or even the spiteful things I did to break up you and Aki. So, I feel like maybe I should make it up instead of saying sorry.”

Cassie stared at the girl in front of her. Without very many words, Cassie felt a little off about what she was saying. Not because she didn’t want to hear it, but because it didn’t make sense where this was coming from.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Cassie said, “why would you even want to do that? Why not just leave me be?”

Jessica let out a small breath. “Because, I think you and me are the only two people in the world who knows how the other feels.”

“I’m… not getting it.”

“Come on, you and I are both too smart to play dumb here. You were crying, no matter if you say otherwise or not, and I know exactly how you feel because I also liked Aki.”

Cassie bit her lip listening to Jessica’s words. “Even if that was true, what happened between me and Aki isn’t something I’ll remember forever. I’ll move on because no one cares about just a stupid relationship anyways.”

“I know you don’t feel that way. I don’t know what kind of shit you went through to think that no one would care, but only an asshole would say that to your face.” Jessica paused. “Someone who really cared about you would feel every little sliver of pain you feel no matter how dumb you think it is.”

That seemed to strike a cord in Cassie and her breath caught in her throat. “Wha-what are you saying that for?”

“Because Aki is an extremely nice person who—believe it or not—comforted me as well. I know he said those things to you because he used to say them to me. The only difference being that he was just sympathetic to me.” Jessica’s head dropped. “I can admit now that, yes, I was jealous of what you and him had. So, to see that you lost what I was trying so desperately to get… I know how you’re feeling, Cassie.”

“Like I haven’t heard that a million times. Listen, I don’t need any comforting. Like I said, I’ll move on eventually.”

“And I’m sure you will, but I need you to understand that you don’t have to be by yourself right now. I told you—I know exactly what you’re feeling.” Jessica’s head came up and there, Cassie saw something she never thought she would.

Streaming down her face, were tears that appeared just as cooling as Cassie’s did. Jessica started to choke over her words, but she spoke through it. Through her sobs and coughs, she managed to keep talking.

“I know it hurts… I know you feel like Aki was the only good thing to ever happen to you… I know you want to hug him again, you just want him to tell you everything will be alright.” Her hands went to her face. “Because he always made it seem like things really would be okay.”

Hearing that and seeing Jessica’s strong outburst, Cassie felt the tears she tried to hide come back. Her head dropped into her hands and once again, she started to cry. Jessica moved closer to Cassie and grabbed her, pulling her into a tight embrace. The girls held each other as if letting go would kill them and, in this moment, it felt like it would.

It felt like their hearts were both hurting and this hug was the beginning to mending them. Their hearts that fought for so long to maintain an image that hurt them more than protected them was starting to melt away. This embrace felt like something they both had been missing in the months their hearts were given back to them.

Jessica managed to calm herself and leaned over to see Cassie’s face. She was still crying, but was obviously holding it back by her frame shaking in Jessica’s grasp. Thinking not to bring it up, Jessica spoke about something else instead.

“By the way, Ren didn’t tell me you were here.”

“H-he didn’t?”

“No. I got worried about you when you left school today. I figured something might have been bothering you since you never really opened up about it.” Jessica paused and allowed the quiet to wash over them. “So, are you really okay?”

For a while, Cassie didn’t say anything or even move. Eventually, she said, “no…” Her voice was broken.

“Is there anything that’d help?”

Cassie shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never had to deal with something like this before.” Her voice was becoming shallow.

“Okay, that’s fine.” Jessica paused. “I wouldn’t know what to do either, but how about we take it slow? You can talk to me if you want and if not, we’ll spend the summer doing whatever you want.”

Cassie said nothing to this, but it was obvious she was grateful as her shaking calmed significantly. She then gave a slow nod.

“Okay…”

Jessica felt relieved at those words. “Alright, but I really think you should at least let your brother know about this. He can be with you much more than I can.”

Cassie barely got out any of her words, but she finally mustered out a whisper of, “thank you…”

Jessica smiled. “You’re welcome.”

I'd much rather read this idea than write it myself 👏. It's a really amazing idea!

Though I did have some ideas, they just never got very far. I'll share these three since you shared yours.

One was with a man who awoke to a strange laboratory where he was being experimented on. Having barely any memories, the only thing he can remember is that his son is missing. However, it seems to facility is trying to keep something from coming inside and the man seems to be the highest concern. Will he remember why he was so important? Or will he simply search for his son unbothered by the pressures of the walls around him.

The second idea was one I got from watching Resident Evil 4 remake, where I thought about a zombie apocalypse that wasn't started from a virus, but actually a cure. This cure was made to pinpoint illness in the body, but one person decided to use it to make mindless monsters who would do anything to cure any ailment they had.

The last idea was one I wrote when I was a kid and I've just never gotten very far with it. It was similar to a Saw Trap in which four characters are trapped inside of an abandoned factory unsure of how they even got there. Along the way, the MC is met with people she knows personally and they've either been murdered or trapped to be murdered. What did these people have in common? All these people were someone who wronged her at some point in her life.

Even though I have these basic ideas, I don't have much more than that unfortunately 😅

I randomly want to mention that I have a goal to write one story in every genre. So far, my newest interest is horror/psychological horror.

I just don't have a good idea and daydream about an idea that suits the genre.

writers' resources

sick of using "very _____" ? : https://www.losethevery.com/

want to simplify your writing ? : https://hemingwayapp.com/

writing buddies / motivation ? : https://nanowrimo.org

word you're looking for but don't know ? : https://www.onelook.com/thesaurus/

need a fantasy name ? : https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/

need a fantasy name ? : https://nameberry.com/

want a name with meaning ? : https://www.behindthename.com/

who wants a map maker! : https://inkarnate.com/

story building / dnd ? : https://www.worldanvil.com/

need some minimalistic writing time ? : https://zenpen.io/

running out of ideas ? : https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/

setting a goal ? how about 3 pages / day ? : https://new.750words.com/

what food did they eat ? : https://www.foodtimeline.org/

questions on diversity within writing ? : https://writingwithcolor.tumblr.com/

now what was that colour called ? : https://ingridsundberg.com/2014/02/04/the-color-thesaurus/

want more? : https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lyralit :]

Here again after my usual hiatus this time though it was because of real world shit, aka setting appointments to get my teeth removed yay but I wanted to post something.

So, just today (or yesterday it's 2am for me) I finished a page on my website about an idea I got about a game idea. This is pretty common for me, but I wanted to share it here in case anyone was interested :D

Anyways, here's a little preview and you can read the full thing here if you want.

I was also considering making proofs of concepts about some of the mini-games I talked about and other collectables, but who know if I'll get around to that with all the other ideas I have in my head.

Either way, that's the post~

🍂