Some Of My Favorite Words And Phrases To Describe A Character In Pain

Some of my favorite words and phrases to describe a character in pain

coiling (up in a ball, in on themselves, against something, etc)

panting (there’s a slew of adjectives you can put after this, my favorites are shakily, weakly, etc)

keeling over (synonyms are words like collapsing, which is equally as good but overused in media)

trembling/shivering (additional adjectives could be violently, uncontrollably, etc)

sobbing (weeping is a synonym but i’ve never liked that word. also love using sob by itself, as a noun, like “he let out a quiet sob”)

whimpering (love hitting the wips with this word when a character is weak, especially when the pain is subsiding. also love using it for nightmares/attacks and things like that)

clinging (to someone or something, maybe even to themselves or their own clothes)

writhing/thrashing (maybe someone’s holding them down, or maybe they’re in bed alone)

crying (not actual tears. cry as in a shrill, sudden shout)

dazed (usually after the pain has subsided, or when adrenaline is still flowing)

wincing (probably overused but i love this word. synonym could be grimacing)

doubling-over (kinda close to keeling over but they don’t actually hit the ground, just kinda fold in on themselves)

heaving (i like to use it for describing the way someone’s breathing, ex. “heaving breaths” but can also be used for the nasty stuff like dry heaving or vomiting)

gasping/sucking/drawing in a breath (or any other words and phrases that mean a sharp intake of breath, that shite is gold)

murmuring/muttering/whispering (or other quiet forms of speaking after enduring intense pain)

hiccuping/spluttering/sniffling (words that generally imply crying without saying crying. the word crying is used so much it kinda loses its appeal, that’s why i like to mix other words like these in)

stuttering (or other general terms that show an impaired ability to speak — when someone’s in intense pain, it gets hard to talk)

staggering/stumbling (there is a difference between pain that makes you not want to stand, and pain that makes it impossible to stand. explore that!)

recoiling/shrinking away (from either the threat or someone trying to help)

pleading/begging (again, to the threat, someone trying to help, or just begging the pain to stop)

Feel free to add your favorites or most used in the comments/reblogs!

I tried to ignore my urge but... Fuck it, I saw this and my writer brain was like

So, here it is...

Peaking out from the foliage, the young boy saw what he knew as a predator. His perception of the world that was shaped entire by the tales of his parents led him to assume the midnight feathered man was someone to fear, yet his stomach told him something else.

Yes, his stomach let out sounds of hunger and that pervaded his mind more than any perception of the man before him. The sounds must have been loud as the crow looked up and just managed to catch the mouse trying to hide himself.

Now worried, the mouse hoped he wasn't seen. He thought to move and escape from his range, but he didn't know if that was smart. He wasn't as skilled as his parents in escaping death, so he instead remained hoping that their gaze meeting was just a coincidence.

That's when the boy looked out again and saw the crow crouched near where he hid. The food he was eating was in his hand and the sent of whatever it was found its way to his nose.

The crow had left food for him.

This was something he didn't understand. Weren't birds vicious predators that attacked and even killed their kind?

It seemed even his thoughts could be heard, because the second he thought that, the crow spoke up.

"You can eat that, it's not a trap. I have no need to eat creatures of your kind."

The mouse was still frozen in fear, so the crow went on.

"We don't usually eat your kind you know? That is saved for those barbaric hawks or those listless vultures."

That did line up with what he knew and it was only then the mouse realized he wasn't anything his family had even spoken poorly of. In fact, he hadn't heard anything bad about the collected bird before him. Was this because crows were actually kind?

That didn't line up with what he understood about other birds but...

Once again, his stomach growled.

Unwilling to think more on it, he reached his tiny hand out and dropped to retrieve the food. He looked back at the crow finding him enjoying his own lunch without a concern in the world for him.

The mouse stared for a bit and the crow smiled. As much as he wanted to thank him, he didn't know if he should. So, he instead took the food and ran off leaving the crow in amusement.

On characters...

So, I love writing characters and also love giving advice to people who want to have more interesting characters in their stories.

I happened to remember something about a character I'm currently writing for and wanted to share it.

So, I sometimes write "test stories" for characters to test their personalities, roles in the story, appearance, and even their conflicts. I totally forgot I did this with one character where I pretty much wrote a fanfiction for him before using him in the main story he's in now.

What that did was allow me to pick how I wanted him to be and solidify that before putting him in the main story. Essentially, that story is the exact same and his role is the same also; but writing the fanfiction allowed me to explore parts of him I'd never do in the actual story.

So, if you're ever struggling on making a character in any sense, try this!

Courage from Love

The night seemed as if it would stay uneventful, but right as it hit midnight, Cassie's phone went off. Knowing the only person who'd be calling her, she went and answered it with an eager smile on her face.

"Hey, what's up Haku?"

"I honestly wish it was nothing." His voice was irate, not very much so, but it was noticeable to Cassie who was more than used to his soft spoken tone.

"What's up? You sound upset."

"Sorry if I do. It's just so stupid. No one wanted to go back to the dorms to get this… thing they bought—I think it's some kind of drink—so I eventually offered to go get it for them."

Cassie sighed slightly. "Sometimes you're too nice for your own good."

"Tell me about it." He sighed. "I just thought to call you for some company."

Cassie smiled and sat up in her bed as she listened to Kohaku talk. As she did so, a resolution to this dilemma occured to her.

"Hey, maybe… I could just get it for you instead."

"Really? You don't mind?"

"No, I'm cool doing it for you."

He let out a relieved sigh. "Honestly, it'd mean a lot if you could."

Cassie then got up. "Where is it?"

"It's one door from my dorm. I'll just meet you halfway, so tell me when you get to my dorm."

"Alright, let me get changed real quick."

Cassie got up and went to her closet, however, it dawned on her that she'd be going outside on one of the busiest days on campus. Everyone was having parties, going out, or hanging out and she'd have to go past them all.

Worried about appearing strange amongst all the night owls dressed up, she decided to dress as she would during the day and found a decent enough outfit to go out in.

She picked up her phone and headed for her door.

"Oh, by the way, I think what they want is pretty heavy, so take your backpack."

"How'd they forget something like that?"

"I could take a guess."

Cassie giggled at Kohaku's more than annoyed voice, but she went for her spare backpack, the one she took on exam days when she didn't need to carry around five notebooks. It was styled like a bear, so she held it in her arms while leaving her room.

It didn't take Cassie very long to get to Kohaku's dorm.

"Okay, I'm here."

"Alright, they said the door should still be open, it's two doors from my dorm." Cassie followed his direction and went to open the door. It was unlocked, but unfortunately for her, a group of students were inside.

Cassie froze for a second and someone looked back seeing her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Did someone invite her?"

Cassie tried to speak, but nothing came out. A few in the room snickered at the frozen appearance of the girl before them.

Someone then said, "come on, what are you here for?"

Their impatience wasn't lost on Cassie and she just gave a small shrug.

"I'm getting something for a friend."

"Cassie?" Kohaku's voice on the phone snapped her attention back. "It should be on the floor near the bed."

Cassie looked there and found what Kohaku was referring to, she quickly went over and retrieved the bottle. She said nothing else and scurried out of the room. Some annoyed sighs followed her closing the door and Cassie just hurried out as quickly as she could.

"I got it…"

"Was someone in there?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah, I guess some people were having a party." Cassie left the male dorms. "But, where are you?"

"By the courtyard."

"Okay…"

Cassie couldn't help but think about the partygoers in the room. She hoped they would just ignore her, but a part of her couldn't help and think that they were laughing at her, getting enjoyment out of the encounter after she left.

Her walk down the sidewalk slowed and her very invasive thoughts came to the surface, making her gaze drop further and her mind run miles around the last few minutes. Every which way that could have happened went through her head and she almost wanted to revert time to do it again.

Cassie made it to the courtyard and found Kohaku waving her down.

He jogged over to her and while he had a smile on his face, it faded when he saw Cassie.

"Hey… what's wrong?"

She looked at him. "Nothing, it's just something stupid."

He pursed his lips. "Cassie, you're tearing up." He reached and grabbed a hold of her face in his palms.

They were cold against her skin, but his gentle touch was enough to mitigate that. Cassie's frown only got deeper and eventually she spoke.

"They just… I just think I bothered them. I'm sorry for making you worry over something like that."

Kohaku took a sharp breath. He gave Cassie a bitter smile and pulled her in for a hug.

"You're so cute… Cassie, you're making me wanna just stay with you for the night."

Cassie shrunk in his hug, but nuzzled against him as she always did. "No, you should go and have fun."

He pulled back and locked eyes with her. "No seriously, stay right here." He took the bottle from her bag and jogged off.

Cassie watched him drop the bottle off to someone. He spoke for a second and immediately turned back to Cassie where he rejoined her. Kohaku reached for her hand and turned them back in the direction of the dorms.

"Kohaku, no seriously, go and hang out with your friends."

"Does it seem like I was even enjoying that?"

She pouted. "No, but-"

"So don't worry about it. I'd rather help you not think about those jerks anyways."

Kohaku's hand was cold, but feeling it against her palm made her warm up, slowly that warmth crept to her face and her mouth turned up in a smile.

"Some day, your friends are gonna hate me because you always dip on them for me."

He chuckled. "No one would hate such a cute girl. Really, why'd you dress like that just to go out for a second?"

They stopped and looked at one another. "I'm… cute?"

Kohaku's face grew red as she looked up at him. He scratched behind his head and started to walk again.

"Well, I just think you could have dressed in any kind of way, really."

Cassie smiled at his embarrassment and happily walked beside him; knowing even if she was nervous and anxious, it didn't matter once they were together.

Hours and hours into the night

“Did I really have to come out with you just to do this?”

Ami, sitting in the driver’s seat of the car, let out a chuckle at his associate as she sat in the passenger’s seat with her body curled up with something on her phone.

“Of course you did. Aren’t you the one who’s always telling us about getting witnesses?”

Cassie let out a small laugh. “To what? A crime you guys are committing? That’s an issue since I won’t lie about whatever I saw here.”

“You also won’t snitch, but that’s not what I was talking about. We’re not committing a crime, someone’s trying to frame my guys—as usual—and I told them lay low for a while. So, they’re helping out one of the churches with a food drive.”

Cassie then took her eyes off her phone for the first time since the car parked and looked out the tinted windows just to see that exact sight.

Several boys around her age were helping to carry boxes or set out food and other items while a small line of people started at the tables.

“What kind of food do they have at these things anyways?” Cassie asked.

“Easy to transport stuff. So bread, soup they can just take from cans donated, and other easily heated foods. One time, I decided to donate something so they could have a hot breakfast.”

“Oh, what was it?”

“Toaster strudels.”

Cassie touched her stomach. “Man that sounds good right now.”

“Have you eaten?”

“No, it’s still school hours and I haven’t gone home yet for lunch.”

“Well, I could have something delivered to us.”

“Nah, you don’t have to do that…” She paused. “Well, if you do, then at least let me pay for it.”

Ami chuckled. “I’m supposed to be getting you something for helping me out.”

“And you should know I don’t like owing people.”

“Why is that? You like to help people, but you don’t want to owe them anything?”

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t hold stuff like this over people’s heads. Like we’ll go home and weeks from now I won’t even care that you’re making me be out here. On the other hand, I’ve dealt with too many people who use their help as a means to get a favor out of me.” She shook her head. “Since I was a little kid, I had to deal with that, so I learned early not to put up with it.”

“You always sound like you’ve lived a hundred lives.”

“Feels like that sometimes.” She let out a sigh before finally returning her attention to her phone.

“Well, what do you want to eat then?”

She hummed and for a moment, Ami assumed she hadn’t heard him. He looked over and saw her intently focused on her phone. He was about to speak up when she finally spoke again.

“You think you could find a good sandwich place? I’m really craving one for some reason.”

“Oh, for sure. So, can I guess no vegetables?”

“Unless they have cherry peppers. Otherwise, no vegetables.”

“So specific. As long as I’ve known you, I’ve learned there are some people in this world who care for nothing at all and some who care about every little thing.”

“Me being the latter?”

“You know it.”

“I think that’s a good thing. Being picky shows you know what you want. Anything else and you’re indecisive and vague.”

“I feel you there, I guess people just mainly see it as being stuck up.” Ami paused. “Speaking of that, has anyone ever thought you were stuck up?”

“Dude, who are you even talking to? Yes.”

“Okay, okay. I just figured with how shy you were originally that people just figured you to be that, not stuck up.”

“Can I ask why you thought I was shy? I mean, when we first met, you ran up on me asking about some guy I hadn’t seen in a while.”

Ami chuckled. “Well, I didn’t really think you were shy, it was everyone else who made it seem that way. Some of my girls knew about you and they told me you were pretty quiet and didn’t talk in class. I assumed you were shy then.”

“What girls? I don’t remember anyone always being in my classes.”

“That’s because they were really never there. The girls in question were friends and would alternate who’s in class and who wasn’t, but they both barely showed up to school.”

“Oh, that makes sense then. Well, I guess that is how a lot of people saw me. Everyone except Bushi for some reason.”

“How’d he see you?”

“Like normal, if anything he never even noticed I didn’t talk to anyone.”

“Maybe it’s because he’s blinded by-”

“By nothing.” She shook her head. “I think that’s why me and him get along so well. He doesn’t really see me as anything but his friend and I don’t see him as anything but that as well.”

“Friends with-”

“Will you shut up already?”

Ami laughed while finally placing the order and handing the phone over to Cassie for her to put in the payment option. She huffed while doing so, but quickly typed everything in before returning the phone to him and getting back on her own phone.

“Okay, I have to ask this. What are you doing on your phone? You’ve been on it since I picked you up.”

Cassie grinned. “Distracted are we? Simple man distracted by phone.” Cassie giggled.

“More like you’re so intense it’s hard not to look at whatever you’re making that face over.”

“Well… if you must know-” she leaned over presenting her screen to him, “-I’m playing a game. It’s a farm sim and right now, I’m working every day to get everything in the game. The hundred percent is a draining task I have yet to complete.”

“Ah, I’ve seen this game before. Is it really fun?”

She nodded and leaned back in her seat. “Fun for both the casual cozy player and also for the completionist min-maxer like me.”

“Min-max being?”

“Essentially someone who wants to play in the most efficient way possible.”

“That doesn’t sound like you though.”

“I know, I don’t really min-max because I often do things that I like and that are less efficient.”

“And you still complete the game that way?”

“Yeah, it’s actually really cool that I don’t have to follow guides or anything to play at a high level. I just have to find what I like and what works and go with that until I get to the end,” she said with a big smile.

“Man, you’re about to get me into another game.”

With a teasing smile, Cassie said, “maybe you should.”

“Come on, you already got me into that JRPG—which by the way my best girl is still better than your best boy—and actually took days out of my life.”

“Good, you’re living the life of a true gamer.” She paused. “And by the way, my best boy is the most superior character in the whole game by the way.”

Ami leaned back in his seat and shook his head. “Okay, you know what, I’ll try it out for a few days. If I get caught up for hours, I’m calling it that.”

“But this game’s totally casual, you can stop playing for days or even weeks and you’ll come back still able to play. I mean, the game’s core audience are casual gamers anyways, you know, people who are normal and don’t spend seven hours searching for a rare drop.”

The first real pause in the conversation came now and Ami thought on it for a bit longer. Eventually—and like Cassie assumed he would—he caved in and took out his phone.

“You can play it on mobile?”

“Yep.”

He sighed. “Fine, I’ll give it a shot, but you’re helping me learn all the good stuff.”

“Of course, I don’t want you to make some of the mistakes I did.”

“You? Making mistakes? I can’t believe I heard that out of your mouth.”

“I admit when I make mistakes, I just don’t make mistakes that really matter.”

Ami chuckled at her prideful comment and once the game was downloaded, he started to play it on his own for a second before Cassie leaned over to see his screen and their endless conversation went on through the afternoon.

Words into Potions: a month-long writing challenge!

We're excited to announce Moon + Seraph's newest event...

Words into Potions (or, WIP!)

Join us this March 1st - 31st for a month-long writing challenge, where any and all types of writing goals are welcome! Use our event to draft a whole novel, outline a new WIP, finish a short story, or accomplish anything writing-related!

We have lots of exciting freebies to help you along the journey!

Track your milestones on a free, downloadable map

Collect digital writing-themed badges

When you reach your goal, randomly pull 1 of 12 digital tarot-inspired cards

Plus, to celebrate our birthday and the event finale on March 31st, we encourage you to post an introduction of your WIP(s) and a wrap-up of all the progress you made. Tag us and we'll reblog your post!

Optionally, join our Discord server to get more out of the Words into Potions writing challenge!

(Learn more about the server here.)

Earn special Discord roles by doing writing sprints

Participate in a weekly writing marathon, where we collectively try to reach a larger goal

Weekly WIP question trades, where we talk about each other's stories and encourage each other to keep writing

Share links to any progress updates you post on Tumblr in our dedicated event promotion channel, and we'll reblog them here

For a sneak peek at our free rewards and more details, read on below!

If you're going to participate or just want to help spread the word, please give this post a reblog! It's very hard for posts to be seen on Tumblr right now, and we really, really want this to find as many writers as possible.

Take a peek at a small section of our milestone map!

As you journey to your writing goal in March, you can also journey through a forest and collect different ingredients from mythical characters, creatures, and locations! Our map milestones are percentage based, which means they'll work for any goal you choose. Whether it's words, pages, hours, or anything else!

This is a super high-res file, so you'll be able to set it as your desktop wallpaper, zoom-in on all the details, and even print it as a poster! (We'll share more details on our printing recommendations when we release the full map mid-February.)

Here's 3 of our 38 writing badges, designed just for this event!

When we get closer to March we'll release a full list of our badges for you to reference and download throughout the month, or if you're in our Discord server, we'll have an automated system for you to claim your badges!

We encourage you to share the badges you earn on Tumblr, along with your progress! Please @ us in your posts if you do, so we can reblog and encourage you!

Reach your goal, and randomly pull 1 of 12 digital, tarot-inspired cards!

These are digital, downloadable cards that you can share on Tumblr, set as a phone lock-screen, and even print! We'll have size options for different desktop/phone wallpapers, as well as some dark mode versions! (Printing recommendations to come!)

Things to Know:

Words into Potions begins on March 1st 2024 and ends on March 31st 2024.

This event is geared toward original fiction writers, but all are welcome to participate.

Our Discord server is 18+ only, with no exceptions.

Our milestone map is free for personal use, but under no circumstances are you allowed to use it for commercial use (any situation in which you profit, financially or otherwise). You may not modify it in any way that obscures the Moon + Seraph watermark, and you may not claim that you created it.

Our writing badges are also free for personal use, but not commercial use, and you can't claim that you created them.

Our tarot-inspired card rewards are also free for personal use, but not for commercial use, and you can't claim that you created them.

Have questions? Send us an ask!

We're very excited about this writing challenge, so we're more than happy to answer any questions you have!