Just Talking - Tumblr Posts

getting over somebody you never dated

except you did date them but it was in middle school but they were literally one of the best friends you ever had and even after they clearly couldn't stick to dating one person alone and you had to break up with them you were still each others perfect complement and continue to be so but they're a bad person who cheats and lies and manipulates but they're soft with you but you know it isn't real but kind of wonder if it is because they haven't changed around you since middle school and you're forever a little flirty and in love with each other and every time you talk you're best friends again but because it was middle school nobody lets you count it as a real relationship because you're young adults now and you let it slide because you hate them but you also don't and can't and never will and they're so mean to you but really they aren't they just call you out on your bullshit and you do the same thing but they have a lot more bullshit than you and you just really, really deeply in your soul know that they will never ever be a good person for you and refuse to heal from what hurt them and also kind of enjoy being a bad person who takes from people but when you're with them they're eleven again. And so are you. And you're wearing unicorn leggings and they're complimenting said leggings and they think you're the funniest, prettiest, most enthralling and intelligent and talented person they've ever met and they make sure you always know that and you both secretly always believe you're soulmates but awkwardly dance around that concept just like you did when you were eleven and twelve and awkwardly dancing around like-liking each other and you know they would always come back to you and you'd like to let them but value yourself too much to let them and sometimes, actually most times, you wonder if being with them could possibly hurt as much as being without them. And you know it would and all of your friends would be so mad at you and you'd be so humiliated and the only one who would understand would be your mom who went through the same thing and the only thing that stopped the feeling for her is that he fucking died and they have birthdays two days apart and you wonder if the universe is throwing round two at you and goddammit you wish you were eleven again and sharing a phone with your brothers and frantically saying goodnight while your oldest brother stands in your doorway looking pissed off and you hold their hand in the bleachers the next morning but pretend you aren't into it but you're still holding their hand anyway when you decide you're better of as friends and you still held their hand freshman year in history class because the lecture was boring and they let you color their bracelet in highlighters and told your shitty mean friends about it but they didn't get it and asked why you'd want to date someone you talked so much shit about and you say that you don't but that they haven't changed a bit and you miss how you feel with them and how you understand each other and you still make sly eye contact in sophomore year biology even when you date their best friend that sucked so bad he made you think you only liked girls and you still chose to sit behind them in psychology junior year and talk every day and let them pick your brain and laughed with them at lunch and let them take pictures of you so they could post them on your birthday but they never did because they had another girlfriend that they were cheating on again and you also watched them every day in english that year and were so happy to be in groups with them and you still drew them in your free time and you still watched them in english again your senior year because they looked so beautiful and had grown so much and were so confident now and you still dedicated an entire painting to them in your art class that nobody actually knew the meaning of. But I guess you never dated for real.

It's a little sad that I'll always be confined by the scope of my gender.

But!

I'm not one to let anyone but myself stop me. Yeah, there's nothing more I wanted to say, I just felt like saying that 👋

Hours and hours into the night

“Did I really have to come out with you just to do this?”

Ami, sitting in the driver’s seat of the car, let out a chuckle at his associate as she sat in the passenger’s seat with her body curled up with something on her phone.

“Of course you did. Aren’t you the one who’s always telling us about getting witnesses?”

Cassie let out a small laugh. “To what? A crime you guys are committing? That’s an issue since I won’t lie about whatever I saw here.”

“You also won’t snitch, but that’s not what I was talking about. We’re not committing a crime, someone’s trying to frame my guys—as usual—and I told them lay low for a while. So, they’re helping out one of the churches with a food drive.”

Cassie then took her eyes off her phone for the first time since the car parked and looked out the tinted windows just to see that exact sight.

Several boys around her age were helping to carry boxes or set out food and other items while a small line of people started at the tables.

“What kind of food do they have at these things anyways?” Cassie asked.

“Easy to transport stuff. So bread, soup they can just take from cans donated, and other easily heated foods. One time, I decided to donate something so they could have a hot breakfast.”

“Oh, what was it?”

“Toaster strudels.”

Cassie touched her stomach. “Man that sounds good right now.”

“Have you eaten?”

“No, it’s still school hours and I haven’t gone home yet for lunch.”

“Well, I could have something delivered to us.”

“Nah, you don’t have to do that…” She paused. “Well, if you do, then at least let me pay for it.”

Ami chuckled. “I’m supposed to be getting you something for helping me out.”

“And you should know I don’t like owing people.”

“Why is that? You like to help people, but you don’t want to owe them anything?”

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t hold stuff like this over people’s heads. Like we’ll go home and weeks from now I won’t even care that you’re making me be out here. On the other hand, I’ve dealt with too many people who use their help as a means to get a favor out of me.” She shook her head. “Since I was a little kid, I had to deal with that, so I learned early not to put up with it.”

“You always sound like you’ve lived a hundred lives.”

“Feels like that sometimes.” She let out a sigh before finally returning her attention to her phone.

“Well, what do you want to eat then?”

She hummed and for a moment, Ami assumed she hadn’t heard him. He looked over and saw her intently focused on her phone. He was about to speak up when she finally spoke again.

“You think you could find a good sandwich place? I’m really craving one for some reason.”

“Oh, for sure. So, can I guess no vegetables?”

“Unless they have cherry peppers. Otherwise, no vegetables.”

“So specific. As long as I’ve known you, I’ve learned there are some people in this world who care for nothing at all and some who care about every little thing.”

“Me being the latter?”

“You know it.”

“I think that’s a good thing. Being picky shows you know what you want. Anything else and you’re indecisive and vague.”

“I feel you there, I guess people just mainly see it as being stuck up.” Ami paused. “Speaking of that, has anyone ever thought you were stuck up?”

“Dude, who are you even talking to? Yes.”

“Okay, okay. I just figured with how shy you were originally that people just figured you to be that, not stuck up.”

“Can I ask why you thought I was shy? I mean, when we first met, you ran up on me asking about some guy I hadn’t seen in a while.”

Ami chuckled. “Well, I didn’t really think you were shy, it was everyone else who made it seem that way. Some of my girls knew about you and they told me you were pretty quiet and didn’t talk in class. I assumed you were shy then.”

“What girls? I don’t remember anyone always being in my classes.”

“That’s because they were really never there. The girls in question were friends and would alternate who’s in class and who wasn’t, but they both barely showed up to school.”

“Oh, that makes sense then. Well, I guess that is how a lot of people saw me. Everyone except Bushi for some reason.”

“How’d he see you?”

“Like normal, if anything he never even noticed I didn’t talk to anyone.”

“Maybe it’s because he’s blinded by-”

“By nothing.” She shook her head. “I think that’s why me and him get along so well. He doesn’t really see me as anything but his friend and I don’t see him as anything but that as well.”

“Friends with-”

“Will you shut up already?”

Ami laughed while finally placing the order and handing the phone over to Cassie for her to put in the payment option. She huffed while doing so, but quickly typed everything in before returning the phone to him and getting back on her own phone.

“Okay, I have to ask this. What are you doing on your phone? You’ve been on it since I picked you up.”

Cassie grinned. “Distracted are we? Simple man distracted by phone.” Cassie giggled.

“More like you’re so intense it’s hard not to look at whatever you’re making that face over.”

“Well… if you must know-” she leaned over presenting her screen to him, “-I’m playing a game. It’s a farm sim and right now, I’m working every day to get everything in the game. The hundred percent is a draining task I have yet to complete.”

“Ah, I’ve seen this game before. Is it really fun?”

She nodded and leaned back in her seat. “Fun for both the casual cozy player and also for the completionist min-maxer like me.”

“Min-max being?”

“Essentially someone who wants to play in the most efficient way possible.”

“That doesn’t sound like you though.”

“I know, I don’t really min-max because I often do things that I like and that are less efficient.”

“And you still complete the game that way?”

“Yeah, it’s actually really cool that I don’t have to follow guides or anything to play at a high level. I just have to find what I like and what works and go with that until I get to the end,” she said with a big smile.

“Man, you’re about to get me into another game.”

With a teasing smile, Cassie said, “maybe you should.”

“Come on, you already got me into that JRPG—which by the way my best girl is still better than your best boy—and actually took days out of my life.”

“Good, you’re living the life of a true gamer.” She paused. “And by the way, my best boy is the most superior character in the whole game by the way.”

Ami leaned back in his seat and shook his head. “Okay, you know what, I’ll try it out for a few days. If I get caught up for hours, I’m calling it that.”

“But this game’s totally casual, you can stop playing for days or even weeks and you’ll come back still able to play. I mean, the game’s core audience are casual gamers anyways, you know, people who are normal and don’t spend seven hours searching for a rare drop.”

The first real pause in the conversation came now and Ami thought on it for a bit longer. Eventually—and like Cassie assumed he would—he caved in and took out his phone.

“You can play it on mobile?”

“Yep.”

He sighed. “Fine, I’ll give it a shot, but you’re helping me learn all the good stuff.”

“Of course, I don’t want you to make some of the mistakes I did.”

“You? Making mistakes? I can’t believe I heard that out of your mouth.”

“I admit when I make mistakes, I just don’t make mistakes that really matter.”

Ami chuckled at her prideful comment and once the game was downloaded, he started to play it on his own for a second before Cassie leaned over to see his screen and their endless conversation went on through the afternoon.

Hey! It's me again, I know there's been a while where I don't upload anything at all, I just reblog and stuff, I guess what I'm trying to say is sorry about that, lately I have found myself with somewhat high levels of anxiety, but nothing that I cannot handle or control, sooo yeah...my spirits have been on the decline thanks to that...and the fact that sleep hours have been somewhat reduced in recent weeks ☠️

I don't want to go into too many details because they are not relevant at all, I just wanted to comment that I feel like a total zombie, I had planned to draw something cute and scary for yesterday but I just couldn't cook anything, I was sooo tired both physically and mentally that I didn't feel satisfied with anything I did and in the end I couldn't do anything.

I don't think I can reach a specific point, I just wanted to complain a little since I haven't had the opportunity to do so, I generally tend to tell my problems to a friend I've had for years, but recently I started to feel uncomfortable talking to him or showing him my things because... I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking things a lot, but he's started to make me feel a little uncomfortable, he's a good guy, but sometimes I feel like he gets too carried away by his ego, he is an incredible artist, and I usually ask him for advice, he usually corrected obvious mistakes and gave me feedback that helped me improve many things, but now he does nothing more than highlight somewhat absurd errors, I didn't give it any importance because...well, he knows more about this than me, right? It was like this for a while until he started making fun of my methods, I know my method is not the most correct, but it works for me, taking a big leap until today, right now I'm afraid to show him things since he started making fun of me a little, I know he's probably taking it as a game, but in the process if I get down a little bit, outside of that situation it's really nice to talk to him, now he only avoided showing him things related to my drawings.

Leaving that topic aside today I managed to draw a little while I was in a rather...questionable state of lucidity, it was very early in the morning so I could only doodle, and even that I didn't doodle like I like, but hey, thanks for reading, I'm sorry for throwing out so much information but I needed to get it out of my system.

Thanks again, stay safe guys 🫶

In the latter I was already losing consciousness to the dream, after "finishing it" I went for a walk a little to wake up and ate a chocolate...It didn't work but don't let it be said not to try lol

Now, bye, bye everyone! ✨

The Fall 🍂

Friendly reminder to anyone with rainy weather rn that there is no age limit to jumping and stomping in puddles.

It’s fun. Go do it.

I watched the first two hazbin hotel episodes today!!! (no spoilers, just my enjoyment of it so far)

i just- hdidyecsgsgdgebdhdhdg

Legit in love with it. I am already so invested in each character’s story and like omg the way they all interact is so fun! Also the colors in the second episode are great!! The red/blue contrast they use in a few scenes just works sooo well.

I’m feeling that ‘highschool girl kicking her legs back and forth as she talks to her bestie on the phone abt her new crush’ energy big time rn.

Sadly I’m unable to make ship art for valentines today, so instead just imagine this: Homosexuals (kissing)

rewatched Nimona for like the 10th? time with my grandparents

despite this it was the first time I noticed that during the jail scene early in the movie, as the director is about to leave you can actually see Nimona sneaking past as a rat.

I just think this is really cool and the people working on this movie did so well with every single detail

I’ve been mentally hit by the devildice truck out of nowhere (/pos)

over a year after the show ended my past hyperfixation on it has been reawakened by dd’s fanfiction scripts

the wedding has gotta be a ploy to get cuphead’s soul, but also dice’s reaction is just lmao

sounds like Devil’s speaking from experience

Well deekideke’s fanfic script has given,,, so much. As a recap of what I personally got from it (A very devildice focused perspective):

King Dice drinks

This isn’t the first time Devil had Stickler walk Dice home

Based on the way Devil says it, he’s probably tucked Dice into bed, cradled his head, and told Dice he’s his #1 until Dice fell asleep before (please I need a short fluff fic of this immediately)

King Dice had to wear a flower gown

There’s a joke that he should be called Queen Dice

His gown is ripped into a fucking bikini and then he just “decides to own it and strikes a pose.”

Devil loves the chaos and was probably about to confess feelings before being interrupted

oh yeah devil is also in a wedding gown

they genuinely just flirt with each other

THEN they both sing “Endless Love” WHILE BEING DESCRIBED AS “It’s a romantic dance sequence for the length of the entire song”

AND THEN they almost kiss before… eugh Stickler.

but uh yeah that was a lot /pos

I’m almost 100% certain that Deekideke had/has ideas for other eps that would develop their relationship a bit more and come before this ep

either way, they’re gay+queer as hell <3

hey fans of my pw fic, once again posting to admit i haven’t been writing. I’ve become entirely hyperfocused on something else that’s consuming all my free time.

I still want to write and continue and eventually finish the fic, and I will be back to writing once I get my brain under control, but at the moment I am gonna be putting the fic on hiatus once again.

When I get back to posting I promise I will have at least two new chapters written in advance lol

Just came to the realization that Orbo reminds me of my dad /neg

I’ve even shown my dad fionna and cake and he even liked Orbo and disliked Scarab and im-

hahahh,,, I’m totally going to use this to project when I continue writing my fic. Make the attitude more realistic etc etc

I’ve dipped my toes back into writing for the silly fic,,, mayhaps I’ll write more than a just few small paragraphs tomorrow,,, mayhaps not,,,,,,

mayhaps I’ll stop saying mayhaps and just talk like a normal person. (<- consider that a one week late april fools, we stay abnormal)

apparently my fic writing was good enough that an irl friend of mine who has watched the full season of Fionna and Cake forgot for several months up until earlier today that Prohibitedwish isn’t canon.

I think this is what the people call “winning”

I have never heard of this game before seeing this trailer but omg i need it, and I just gotta share.

At first glance it looks like stray, but it reminds me a lot more of the untitled goose game if it were more open.

def getting this when it releases lol

"vaccines and woke cartoons makes kid transgender" stop dismissing mangle's hard work.

according to recent feedback and reports,

I am a twink

I know it’s been ages since I’ve updated my fic, but I noticed that it’s reached 900 kudos, and honestly it means a lot to me!

As sort of a treat for this, I’ll share that the next chapter is basically done, but I am waiting on posting it until I have the chapter after it also written.

Okay I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but I am doing it because when I post the chapter I want people to still know that there’s more to go.

honestly my biggest ‘issue’ with writing is just that I don’t remember to and then nothing gets done <- product of adhd

I’m gonna try getting back into the swing of things, but any encouragement def helps lol

I’m doing my best o7

I had a dream that i was watching season 2 of fionna and cake and the shot that i was looking at heavily implied that Scarab and Prismo slept together.

From what i can remember from my dream, they were both 2d but scarab was red, and they were asleep together in a bed that was also a 2d projection that sort of overlapped with them. Scarab was also big spoon even tho Prismo was larger than him lol.

In the dream my brain told me that this scene was supposed to be confirmation that they had sex before. I was so excited and kept thinking “omg i fucking knew it.” which then made me glad abt how fionna and cake has a higher rating than adventure time bc i didn’t believe this would have been aproved with adventure time’s rating.

Anyway unfortunately I can’t remember seeing cosmic owl in my dream at all, so it probably wasn’t a premonition dream 😔