Compilation Of Tips I Learned During Years Of Managing Treatment-resistant Bpd

Compilation of tips i learned during years of managing treatment-resistant bpd

1.) challenge your thoughts productively not critically; beating yourself up for the sake of "doing better" is in fact not going to help you do better

2.) accept yourself for where youre at. Dont deny the unpalatable sides of your behaviors, when you accept them wholeheartedly they very quickly calm down. Acceptance is not inherently synonymous with condoning

3.) Dont begrudge yourself. Right now social media internet culture makes it normalized that you cant have mistakes, or else youre irredeemable. this leads to people knocking others down to compensate for the fact they might mess up themself, and to be honest imo this is mostly kids and teenagers. i promise you there is no mentally ill child or teenager on earth that will ever be comparable to people knowingly abusing real authority & power in the real world

4.) dont begrudge others. You dont have to like people, but holding long-term grudges especially once they're out of your life will hold you down. Its ok to be angry, it is ok to mourn past or current relationships with people. Though when youre ready, attempt to reflect productively in a way that doesnt include "all good" or "all bad" statements. (black n white thinking)

5.) nuance; allow yourself to think in shades of gray. Do not confine yourself to one point of view. Regardless of if you like a situation/person/event/etc, having productive cognitive empathy is a really good thing for understanding the relationships and interactions in your life. For example, give yourself & others 'credit' by putting yourself in their shoes. This helps break down "this is unfair" confusion and abuse cycles that come with it. Often, in unfair situations, knowing my Real Point and the other persons' Real Point helps me manage those interactions or relationships. (99.999999% of fights Often the 'point' of convos get missed and people will spiral into nitpicking minute details unrelated or vaguely related at best)

6.) boundaries are about what you can do for yourself, not how you can influence other people's actions. You really cannot control other people, so dont rely on others to have the 100% foolproof response all the time to things that really matter to you. Its ok to walk out of friendships if they dont work, its ok to walk out if someone is not respecting boundaries you set, and boundaries dont always have to exclusively be and stop at "can u not do xyz" because ultimately you cant control others ever. Do what works for you

7.) its ok for people to drift, and its ok for people to come and go

8.) my fav advice; maybe it aint that deep just walk away. not worth it. no need to defend myself, gooodbyeeee strangers on internet who do not really care about niche social issues that they pretend to care and preach about amen

movie likers and knowers might rightfully have me killed for this but i think the thing about "id like to watch more movies but i have poor concentration" is its literally okay to get distracted during movies. its literally fine. now i do understand why this might not be enjoyable for some people but it can be if you want it to be. missing scenes, or not understanding certain plot points, or "misinterpreting" some things about the visual language, or other things that might derive from not being laser focused on the film – these are all things that are part of your experience with the text, which is i think highly individual and contextual, and people who can pay more attention than you or are more engaged simply have a different experience. and while im someone who really intellectualizes and rationalizes what im watching i also think the way i most enjoy a movie and the way its information most easily enters me is sensorial, almost as a texture of something i can touch. i love beautiful images and words and light and movement and i love them when theyre ugly, too. hearing a voice that pierces the heart or an image that will stay forever in the back of my head, thats what makes movies special and different from other ways of thought transmission.

and really while this applies to people who dont want to watch 2 hour movies because of attention issues i really think its important to remember this when watching slow cinema. because no one can pay full attention to anything for four hours (or eleven) (even if you take breaks) and when you see eight minutes of a man walking through a field in silence your mind Will wander. and the places it goes to (other movies you remember have similar scenes, poems, where you think the movies going, but also: what youll make for lunch, a woman you love, your tasks for the week you least want to do, the phone you might pull out and look at while keeping a side-eye on the man on the field), they're a part of the way you experience that guy walking around, and the way you'll fill it with meaning and remember it later. and its literally fine. do whatever you want forever. i need to try out1 again

Natsu is ... such a good person? He is so kind and values his friends so much, he's willing to do whatever it takes for them, he's angry on their behalf when they're hurt be it physically or emotionally, he's so hurt when faced with the thought of losing them? He might be arguing with them over the most meagre of things then getting revenge for whoever messed with them the next second. He's the friend you want irl. He doesn't want them to worry about him. He never takes the full credit for his achievements, always insisting that it was a team effort (which it is, most of the time, but it is interesting to see when complimented, he talks about his how his friends did just as great). He would take the pain for his friends. He would sacrifice his life for them if he could. He's strong for them. After it is revealed that he is Zeref's brother, not to mention END, he develops an identity crisis, but the audience doesn't even know about it until it's brought up by the Igneel in the mindscape. His thoughts are voiced by another character, but rarely ever by him especially if it's during a vulnerable time. He never gave up on finding Igneel. He loves and cherishes his friends. He would engage Zeref head-on in combat if it meant protecting the guild. He loves his friends so much. The way he immediately tries to comfort them when they're feeling down is so heartwarming. All of these amazing qualities of him deserves more recognition.

Neurodiversity & Rejection Sensitivity Disphoria

Starting with this graphic by @adhd-alien

Okay, let me talk about Rejection Sensitive Disphoria, which is something ADHD folks - but also autistic folks - struggle with a lot. And technically speaking... it is a trauma response. This is nothing that just happens to a neurodiverse brain as is, but it is an effect of trauma.

A lot of neurodiverse people - especially ADHD people - encounter a lot of rejection during their life. They get criticized for being inattentive, for being "lazy", for being "weird", for being too attached, and too detatched. Basically, we cannot do anything right. We often struggle to maintain friendship, especially with neurotypical people, who find our behavior grading.

There is always the saying among neurodiverse people: "We have best friends, but we are never anyone's best friend", because of this and because we often only have the emotional energy to maintain a few friendships at once.

There has been a study done a while ago and it found, that a typical child with ADHD would experience about 50 small rejections within each and every day. 50! 50 times that someone told them "You did this wrong" or "You are wrong". And in a lot of times the people giving these rejections do not think about it as much. But for the kid, it leaves an impression. Because they learn, they cannot do anything right.

Because of this, each rejection feels even more horrible to them. Even as an adult. Something that is not meant as a big slant against them, turns into it in their mind. Like, even a small criticism. Take one like this: "Tone it down." Because we often have problems regulating our voice. And just this small thing feels... horrible.

And, yeah... We struggle with this. It is a trauma response. Nothing else.

But if we bring it up to someone - for example, someone who keeps bringing out those small rejections - we are often depicted by them as self-centered and the like.

Ever since I learned about RSD, I have an easier time dealing with it. Because I can now gage that moment, where it kicks in and go in, telling my brain: "Hey, stop this crap, that is not what they meant and you know it". But... I also would fucking appreciate if neurotypical people had a bit more chill with us.

y’know, the more i think about it, the more i realize that the knee-jerk “we need copyright law to protect The Artists from AI” reaction around AI illustration feels like the intellectual property equivalent of the “temporarily embarrassed millionaire” mentality

you see people supporting policies that serve against their economic interests out of the delusion that the american dream is real and they’re ever going to be wealthy enough to benefit from those policies

in the same vein, i feel like some artists talk as if stronger copyright law enforcement would benefit them in light of the advent of AI illustration, when it exists solely to protect the interests of massive rights-holding conglomerates who have the capital required to actively utilize it

in other words, you are not lars ulrich, the current infrastructure will not protect you, and stronger copyright enforcement would let warner bros. call a drone strike on you for selling Our Flag Means Death fanart on etsy long, long before it would stop AI models from adding your art to their massive pool of reference data