Delirious - Adam Stanheight / Reader

Delirious - Adam Stanheight / Reader

Adam Faulkner sat up frantically, his body rigid and his mind reeling, his hands grasping uselessly at the edge of his confines, his hair plastered to his face, and his mouth filled with grimy water. He spluttered, trying to breath without getting water in his lungs, and his fingers fumbled inconveniently all along the edge of his restraints. Coughing, Adam hauled himself out of the tub. He was weak and fatigued, but most of all he was scared. In a few frightening moments, that seemed entirely too long, he tried pounding on the walls; first slowly then gradually getting faster with every passing second. Through the darkness, Adam could feel the freezing tile on his fingers, and the sharp sting as he slapped his palms against it. When this proved futile, Adam backed away hesitantly, spinning 'round and 'round as if trying to find something that wasn't there, and then resorted to screaming. His attempts at being heard were unavailing, but he kept at it anyway mostly for the sake of his very own sanity; if he remained silent he was sure to lose his goddamn mind.

"No one can hear you," came a sudden voice from the darkness. It sounded so dismissive; in fact it almost pissed Adam off how apathetic it appeared. "Just calm down. Are you hurt?"

Adam's mind struggled to form a single coherent thought. Between his confusion and his fear, thinking was made difficult. He stuttered over his words for a couple short seconds. "I-I-I-I don't- don't know." He looked over himself, even though he couldn't see anything. "Yeah?"

There was a faint sound of stumbling around, and then a high-pitched buzz filled the room. In an abrupt flicker the darkness was replaced with a bright yellow light. The ceiling lights had come on, and Adam groaned, shielding his eyes away from the brightness. "I couldn't find them before..." The man apologized.

When Adam could see clearly again, he glanced over at the object to his right. Immediately upon seeing the results, he wished he had been a little more thoughtful on that prospect, for keeping him grounded was a metal chain connecting him to a metal pipe protruding from the tile walls. What calmness he had left evaporated all together and once again he found himself panicking. Adam yanked and tugged but it didn't matter, he wasn't going anywhere. "Holy shit. You did this, didn't you!?"

His companion pressed himself against the wall in alarm. "I haven't done anything!" He exclaimed defensively. "But we're going to have to trust each other if we want to get out of this. I mean, clearly someone didn't want us going very far."

Adam huffed. "But what the hell did I do?"

"Apparently you did something, or you wouldn't be here. Now, what's your name?"

That's a personal question, Adam thought. Why does he want to know?

Looking the man up and down suspiciously, Faulkner muttered carefully, "My name is very fucking confused... What's YOUR name...?"

"Lawrence Gordon," Gordon answered practically.

Adam laughed. "Sounds like a doctor's name," he whispered wryly.

"I AM a doctor," Doctor Lawrence snapped.

Adam stared at him awkwardly. Neither of them spoke a word to each other for a couple of never-ending minutes, then Lawrence stood up. "Here, let me try the door."

"Why didn't you?" Adam retorted, not expecting a reply. He was aware of the fact that, with the lights off, it was impossible to see your surroundings. Lawrence ignored him, but did cast him an annoyed look, as if echoing Adam's exact thoughts. He got to his feet.

Adam watched Lawrence stretch himself along the wall, reaching for the door. It was locked, but even if wasn't, Lawrence's chain didn't stretch far enough to get him to the handle. "Well fuck," Adam uttered hopelessly.

Lawrence gave him an apologetic look, but didn't say anything to reassure him. It was then that Adam's eyes found the chainsaw resting right next to Lawrence's feet, and that's when everything changed. He started freaking out. In flashbacks he saw THAT moment replaying over and over again in his head, and he reacted violently, twisting his body and lashing out against his restraint.

The pictures burned his eyes, at least it felt like they did. With each passing second the flashbacks became more clear. He could almost feel Lawrence's pain when he cut through his flesh. Adam screamed. Agony ripped through his temples and he doubled over.

Lawrence's longing and flustered exclamations were lost on poor Adam as he writhed miserably on the tile floor in capable of regaining himself, his tormented mind struggling to cope with the memories. "Hey! I think I've found something! Pass me that tape."

Adam kicked, and flailed, but didn't hear Lawrence.

"What's wrong? Will you at least tell me your name?"

Still, Adam couldn't get the vision out of his eyes. It lingered there like a bloodstain on a white dress. It refused to put him at ease.

"Adam!" Lawrence threw his wallet at him. "Adam!" His voice was starting to blend into the buzz of the lights. "Goddamn it, Adam! What's happening?"

Faulkner tossed and turned. His heart was beating so fast in his chest he was sure it would pop at any given moment. His temperature was so high it was like he was in an oven that was set to self-destruct. His shirt and flannel were drenched in so much sweat, he could have easily been rolling around in the wet grass before arriving.

"Adam!" Lawrence threw something else at him. Was it the package of cigarettes? "Sit up! Sit up!"

Adam tried to latch onto what Lawrence was telling him, but he felt fried. His mind was so exhausted...

"Adam!" Gordon's voice was gone completely now, as well as the images that he had been seeing before. Adam was plunged straight back into darkness, and then THAT voice reached his ears. The melodic voice of his significant other.

In a frenzy, hastily and dazedly, Adam Faulkner exploded from the covers, his face burning up with fever. He was hotter than he had ever felt in his entire life. He gasped, paranoia engulfing him. His eyes darted around the room, taking in his surroundings quickly, fearfully. He was not where he expected to find himself. He was not with the person he was expecting to be with. Adrenaline pumped through him, making him fidgety, but finally he brought his attention to his partner. You were leaning over him, terror in your bright eyes.

Adam's breath slowed down audibly, once he realized where he was. You pushed him to the pillow again. You had tears on your cheeks but Adam wasn't in the mental state to be concerned about that right now. He let you adjust him on the bed, as you whispered, "You're so hot, baby. I tried to stop the fever, but... it just kept rising, and... You scared me, I thought for sure... Never mind. You were kicking and sleep talking. I don't what you said, though."

Adam stared ahead, grabbing hold of your hand. He held it so tightly you whimpered. You had to use all your strength to rip your hand out of his grasp. "What time is it?" He choked.

"Twelve AM. It's hasn't even been two hours yet."

"I... I can't go back to sleep. I need a walk." But Adam knew it was a lie. And he knew what you would say.

You stared into his face. His eyes had dark circles under them, they were bloodshot already themselves, and his skin was ghostly white. You frowned at him in dismay. Lately, he had stopped sleeping. His trauma was getting to him again, and you knew that was the only reason for it; his dreams were haunting him too much. "No, Adam," You said firmly this time. You weren't going to allow him to do this again.

Adam shook his head. "Let me. It helps."

"You are going to kill yourself one of these days," You growled, and gently held him down. You didn't want to cause him to feel trapped, that would only make things worse, but you didn't want him to get up. "You need to sleep, baby. You have a fever tonight."

"Maybe that's good?" Adam asked halfheartedly. He hadn't meant to alarm you.

You felt sick. "No." You combed your fingers through his hair. "Relax, Adam. You're going to be just fine. I know it, you know it."

Adam relaxed under his partner's soothing strokes. "I feel so cold..."

You gazed at him sadly. "A hundred and one degrees, Adam."

"Me?"

"No, the cat," You snapped sarcastically.

"Oh..."

Adam could feel himself losing himself to sleep. He was afraid of what would happen next in his dreams, but he trusted you to take care of him. Your careful caress was enough to put him back under. And as he wandered through a blurry haze of darkness, he heard your soft voice one last time. "I love you." A kiss was planted on his lips and when he started dreaming again, it was with you.

You in your favorite attire.

You with your prettiest smile.

You with your pleasant laugh.

And he leaned right into that beloved and charming kiss. All the while you stayed awake in the night, protecting him, keeping him away from his fears, and allowing your precious boyfriend to gather up on his much desired sleep.

Quietus - Adam Stanheight / Reader

You felt like you had just woken up from a nice, long, nap in the bath, during the summer. There was nothing to be worried about, nothing to be excited about, nothing to be angry about, and nothing to be sad about; it was just a quiet evening, and you felt peaceful and calm. Your skin felt warm, and your hair felt clean, and as you crossed, you felt a tingling in your hands and feet.

The carpet was soft on your feet as you walked over it, it's smoothness was gentle on your skin and you liked it very much. You had never thought that the feel of carpet would please you so much, but this texture was truly exquisite. You took slow, savory, steps just so that you could have a reason to remain standing on it. The light over head was pale, almost like that of the dawn when it breaches your window frame and sets your bedroom aglow. There was something picturesque about how the dull light appeared; phantom like and basically transparent. It was an odd white color, not one that would usually be used for lighting; you didn't quite understand it but you proceeded down the dark void all the same.

Around you, there were black walls, above you blue-white lights, and below you gray ground, that could possibly be clear if you thought about it too long; you could make out, just slightly, hardly anything really, movement of some kind underneath the grayness of the floor. As you walked, you let your thoughts take a hold of your mind. There was something not right about this place, something unusual, something concerning. Was it all the blacks and greys strewn about, or the dark atmosphere? How about the way the lights flickered ever so slightly but just enough to notice, or the way that they warmed up the place just by being on? Perhaps it was the walls that misted when you touched them and the way they felt like liquid when you got close? Maybe it was simply a reality, and you were too tired to figure it out?

It was natural though, the manner in which you moved along. It was almost like it was meant to be; so overpowering you HAD to keep going. You didn't know how far you had come or how long you had been here, all you knew was that this is where you were now, and where you would be for a long while.

Forwards was the only way to go. Forwards would take you to your destined destination. And who was to know where backwards led. That, unfortunately, was not for you to discover.

By now you had left behind the carpet, but that was already such a long time ago you just hadn't realized it when it happened. The tile floor was cool and liquidy. It was like placing your foot on the top of water. You could feel the coldness on the bottom of your foot and in between your toes, it confused you completely.

Finally, before you noticed the opening in the hallway, you heard voices. Two of them were unfamiliar but one of them was so recognizable, so impalpable, it frustrated you. Where had you heard it before?

The lights flickered randomly then, as if trying to give an incapacitated answer to your question. You didn't try to understand it, in fact you didn't try think about it at all, and you went right back to your meandering. When you reached the clearing, which was nothing but a room filled with black walls and grey floor, you could hear the voices more clearly. They were coming from inside. You peered into the small, plain, room almost halfheartedly. It was now that you were starting to feel concerned. You hadn't before, mostly just exceptionally laid back.

What felt like hours was probably only a matter of seconds, but your pumping heart and adrenaline made it seem like longer. You trailed into the room finally, it was the first time since entering this dank place that you had gotten somewhere. As you crept inside, you could smell a familiar smell, and taste a familiar taste. You could hear a familiar sound, and feel a familiar feeling. In front of you was a young man, probably about twenty, in his usual attire. Of course you knew who this was, but what the hell was he doing here? Or maybe a better question was: what were you doing here?

The warmth that had been with you this whole time left now, encasing you in bitter cold. You shivered, hoping to get warm by such an inefficient gesture. It was stupid, pathetic, and didn't work anyway.

You tiptoed over to the man, who was waiting for you in the middle of the room. He had his arms crossed over his chest, and his head tilted back slightly. There was a thin, white, cigarette in the corner of his mouth. You fell instantly, like you always did. The sight reminded you of a picture you had at your apartment. It was of your boyfriend with his head leaned back on the couch, and a cigarette - much like the one in front of you now - in his mouth. Adam Stanheight stood before you in all his glory, making you heart stop. You couldn't find words to explain yourself; the silence was deafening.

However, it wasn't for you to reply, Adam had that covered; he had planned this for a while now. Of course your death was entirely up to fate, he couldn't have had chosen that if he'd tried, but all the same, he'd planned out what to say when you arrived. "F/N L/N." There was a small smile on his lips. The one you'd seen many times before. It always presented itself when he was going to be smug. There was a different kind of smile he gave you when he was happy, this was not that smile. "What have you done to find yourself all the way up here?"

You could feel yourself smiling back. You knew he was joking, but you still smiled at him. You couldn't find words to say anything, you didn't know what was worth saying anyway. You remained silent, and Adam was unbothered.

"I guess it's been a while," he sighed. "I was confused, too, at first. But that's the strange thing, all of us are different. It just takes longer to adjust than it does for others. Maybe I was more fortunate? There's really no way to tell yet, not since you've only just arrived. We'll see how you're feeling in forty eight hours. A lot can change over the course of two days here, you might be surprised. But you'll see what I mean. It's been like a year since that day, so I've gotten pretty used to everything. I am still surprised it only took a year. I thought I would never get over it."

You stared at him for a long time, but still didn't speak.

"Can you remember anything?" Adam asked you lightly.

You thought about his question, but eventually you found your voice. "No."

Adam seemed impressed. "I'm glad to see you warming up, Y/N. Most people don't recover quickly."

"I think..." You stammered, your voice cracking along the way. "I think it helps that you are here."

Adam nodded briefly. "That was the intention. Do you remember anything now?"

You shook your head. "Remember what?"

"How you died."

You considered his words gravely. "Do you?"

"I was watching," Adam informed you. "The accident was... brutal... The car-" he interrupted himself. "Well let's just say, 'it exploded.' Shards went everywhere." He shuddered. "It's no wonder you came to join me. There was another person with you, and neither of you survived it."

Your mouth fell open as memories flashed through your mind. The car, the leaves, the wind. The driving, the spinning, the screaming. The final, abrupt, moment in which your life was taking away from you. You turned your head away dismissively, letting out a calming breath. "Meh," you found yourself saying. "It's alright that it's over. I don't mind the quietness or tranquility. It's nice, like..." You trailed off, and didn't say more.

Adam pulled you into a side hug. "I know the feeling."

You stared at the ground dully, letting Adam's presence sooth you. "So," you asked. "Now what?"

"Now," Adam replied. "I take you through there." He glanced over his shoulder. There was another opening behind you, leading out of the room. A long void stretched away from it.

"There?" You asked. "Where's it go?"

Adam only looked at you sadly, but didn't answer you. He guided you to the entrance and you followed slowly, feeling numb. Adam kept his arm around your waist as you walked. You could sense his urgency, but you didn't know why. You didn't know where he was going, or what was happening, but you trusted Adam. You pressed yourself closer as you continued down the dark, liquid, hall.

As the time passed, you started to relax. You felt really safe here, in Adam's warm and comforting embrace. Finally, you reached another room that was just as dim, and just as tiny, as the last one. By now, you had identified the feeling you were trying to explain before, only this time it was much more severe, overwhelming. You clutched Adam's hand tightly, and spoke up at last. "Adam, it's like..."

Adam ushered you inside. "I'll see you on the other side, baby. But unfortunately, I can't go with you for this part. Don't worry, you'll see me again, I promise. I'll be waiting for you."

"Wait," you whispered, and Adam smiled at you. He looked so reposeful and patient, like he had all the time in the world, and maybe he did; it was like he knew all the answers to life itself. You gazed at him. "It's like..." Your voice sounded melodic. "It's like," You repeated for a third time. "Like, I'm finally coming home..."

Adam let out a breath. There was a gleam in his eyes, one that told you he was content, and he said, "Yes, you are. It's such a scary place to call home, but it's almost terrifying how lovable a place can be once you start to live in it."

"Don't go," you mumbled desperately.

"I won't," Adam replied happily, and closed the door in front of you, leaving you all alone and in your impending doom. Unbeknownst to you, Adam was waiting in the room over. Neither of you knew how long it would take you to find him again but you knew that you would; and when you did, home would be right around the corner.

August - Adam Stanheight X Reader

Adam Faulkner Stanheight was sitting on the couch, waiting for his significant other - that would be you - to come home. You had left to grab (your favorite dessert). It wasn’t a particularly special occasion, but you both had wanted something to sweeten up your lives a little bit. Adam smoked somberly, shaping his shallow thoughts into something much more understandable. But it was all for naught, seeing as he was still in the same place of emotion that he was in when he started this expedition.

Lazily, and listlessly, Adam rearranged himself on the couch. He knew you would be disapproving when you saw that the windows were closed, but he couldn’t bring himself to open them. He was way too tired for that. All he wanted to do was lay down. He tried to keep his eyes open, but eventually found himself falling asleep while also nearly choking to death on cigarette smoke.

He coughed and sputtered until his throat was sore, and then he twisted out his cigarette. That was enough today, but he was still left with an empty feeling; his satisfaction just wasn’t quite fulfilled, and he was tempted to take another one from the box. He used what self-control he had left, and managed not to. He told himself you would be very proud of him for that.

Adam had gotten up to fix himself some tea. He barely stood up when a wave of nausea consumed him. He sank back down onto the couch miserably. He didn’t feel great at all today. Maybe that was because he hadn’t eaten yet? It was one’o’clock and he woke up at ten. Why hadn’t he had breakfast yet? Oh that’s because he got in a conversation with you and then hadn’t wanted to leave. That was reasonable, right?

Adam got to his feet clumsily, and stumbled into the kitchen, where he tried to put together a sandwich. It worked, he guessed, and he sat down to eat his breakfast slash lunch.

What would that be called? He wondered. Brunch? It was getting hot in the apartment by the time he’d finished eating. The weather was hot outside during this august afternoon. Adam felt stable again, now that he’d eaten, but something was still off. He missed his partner, F/N L/N.

He popped open the windows to let out the smoke that was building inside.

Adam reluctantly started doing some tidying. His living quarters were always messy, and it irritated the hell out of you. He decided now would be a good time to clean it up.

But as he started to pick things up from the floor, the apartment door swung gently open. Adam let his belongings fall onto the coffee table once again, as he leapt up to greet you.

When he saw you his heart fluttered. Excitement and happiness rushed through him. He found new energy to be with you! “Y/N!” He exclaimed.

You came tripping into the room, carrying in your arms a large (favorite dessert.) Adam had never been so glad to see someone in his whole life. You plopped the dessert onto the counter, and twirled happily ‘round.

Adam watched you in satisfaction, his heart melting. He pulled you into a hug, pushing you right up against his chest, and allowing you to rest your head on his shoulders. He felt you giggle and it warmed him on the inside.

You beamed up at him, your eyes glowing in jubilation. “You missed me?”

Adam sighed. “You have no idea.”

You nuzzled Adam’s nose sweetly. “Want to try the dessert?”

Adam would have loved to, but you felt so good in his arms he hardly wanted to release you. “Sure.”

You detangled yourself from his grasp, and went over to the counter, getting ready to cut your dessert into slices.

Adam watched from afar, examining his significant other as they bent slightly over the counter. You had your butt your pointed out towards him and Adam took pleasure in studying it. You looked cute standing in that position. “Nice.” He told you frankly.

You were too intent on your task to even notice Adam’s comment. You simply straightened your back and glanced at him, a smile on your face. “Go grab some plates!”

Adam did as he was told, and then came up behind you. He wrapped an arm around your waist, and put two plates on the counter.

You shuffled closer to him, and Adam felt content to have you so close. You placed one slice of said dessert onto each of the plates, and then you started eating.

Adam had never tried this kind of dessert before he met you. But now it was a tradition to eat it together. He loved that.

The flavor was sweet and sugary, of course it was. It was your favorite dessert and that’s why Adam loved it, because it made him think of you.

You ate together in a peaceful silence until your plates were clean. Neither of you had even gone to the table to eat.

Adam rubbed your back with one hand. It was impossible to explain what he felt for you. He loved you so much, nothing would be able to express it. ‘I love you’ at this point was an understatement. But how else did one express their love to their significant other? Without words there would be no communication. This was the only way to tell you what he felt. He loved you, and that’s all there was. Love.

He turned you towards him, so that you were pressed against his chest once more. He put his chin on the top of your head. “I love you.”

A rush of adrenaline swarmed up you. You laced your hands with Adam. “No, I love YOU.”

Adam melted into you. You were so perfect! “Not nearly as much as I love you,” he murmured.

“You’re right,” you gave in disappointedly, but then shot back, “I love you MORE than that.”

You and Adam spun around the living room several times, and then you put on some classical music: slow and romantic, just right for the mood.

You both swayed to the rhythm, not really intending to be lazy, but not trying to be too energetic either.

Adam could feel your head on his shoulder, your hand in his hand, and an arm around his waist. Your body touching him was breathtaking. Adam was sure he would lose his mind from the close proximity.

“You’ve been smoking,” you uttered into the quietness. You were only concerned.

Adam stiffened. Would you care about that? “I’m sorry-” He started to say.

You interrupted him. “Don’t be sorry, Adam. You’re always sorry. Not everything’s your fault. What happened?”

“I got anxious about you,” Adam halfheartedly confessed.

You patted his head reassuringly. “Well, you shouldn’t have.”

“But I did.”

You kissed him on the cheek. “Alright then. It’s okay. How was the smoke?”

“Bad,” Adam grumbled. “I nearly died from it instead of trying to enjoy it.”

You smirked. “I’m glad you didn’t though. You know what would happen if you did?”

“No.”

You bent your eyebrows down and pouted your lower lip sadly. “I WOULD BE SAD!” You wailed.

Adam felt his heart skip a beat. “Oh no…” he mustered. “I don’t want that.”

“Nor do I,” you answered smartly. “But lucky for you, you don’t have to try very hard. You being around is all I need!”

Adam bit his bottom lip shyly. He could feel your words brush up his neck. Your words were just so warming and good to hear, he couldn’t get enough. He kissed you at that moment, lifting you off the floor and bringing you up to sit on his hips. You put your legs around his waist, and your arms around his neck.

Adam loved every moment of it. He loved feeling your skin on his skin, your mouth on his mouth, your body against his body, and your heat keeping him warm.

His heart was pounding, his stomach was churning, and adrenaline was pulsing through his veins. He broke away to give you some kisses down your jaws; they were quick and short.

You hummed out in satisfaction, and tilted your head back. Adam took advantage of this, and started kissing down your neck. He made sure to get your shoulders and collarbones.

“Adam…” you whispered at last, cupping his cheeks in your hands and lifting his head up. He looked at you like a lost puppy and it melted your heart. “You sweet thing.”

Adam let you down and you sighed out happily. “You’re cute,” Adam said cheesily.

You shrugged. “How else would you want me?”

“Laying on the bed would be a nice alternative, too,” Adam replied cleverly.

You gagged and looked away embarrassedly. “Oh yeah?”

“Definitely,” Adam assured you.

Adam sat down on the couch, and you sat next to him. You pulled him onto your lap, and started a long, enticing, snuggle session, where both of you spent the rest of the evening flirting, teasing, kissing, and of course expressing love to one another only in ways that words could never communicate.

Midnight - Adam Stanheight / Reader

You woke up, hot and hungry. Your dinner last night was small, and you were regretting eating so little. At first it was just an assumption that, maybe you’d be okay until morning, but now you weren’t so sure. You reached for the lamp on the bedside table, but it didn’t turn on. Miserably, you turned the switch several more times, to no avail. You decided that the lamp was broken and lazily searched for your mobile phone. It should have been in the drawer, but alas, you found it empty. It was then that you realized you would have to get up. That should have been given from the beginning however, seeing as you did not have your fridge in your bedroom. Reluctantly you left the warmth of the bed, and the comfort of your boyfriend.

The air was chilly, because you and Adam had left the windows open after nearly burning the eggs from dinner. Now you wished you hadn’t done that. You stumbled through the laundry mess and over to the door, where you stretched out an arm fearlessly. Your fingers fumbled with the light switch, which was sticky, and finally forced it up. The lights remained off, much to your disapproval.

Frowning, you thought about your situation. The lamp and the ceiling lights weren’t working, there was a raging thunderstorm outside as well. The rain pounded on the rooftop, and sent raindrops spiraling into the living room, probably drenching the couch and the rug by now. Perhaps, the power had gone out?

You headed into the kitchen, not wanting to deal with the wet furniture by the window, and ate a quick snack which consisted of (favorite crackers) and a glass of water. When you came back, you heard Adam ask, “Did your lamp turn on?”

“No,” you answered flatly, not even registering the fact that Adam was awake right now.

“What were you doing?”

“Eating,” you said sincerely. “I think the power’s out,” you added dishearteningly.

“Well,” Adam grumbled. “It was probably the storm. Oh shit, the windows are open!”

“Yeah,” you replied desolately. “Everything’s drenched.”

“Great.” Adam stretched out an arm towards you but you couldn’t see it. “Come’re.”

You tried to look for him in the darkness, but didn’t succeed in the slightest. You reached for the light switch automatically. The lights did not turn on. “Okay.”

You stumbled through the room blindly, arms outstretched and head ducked down so as to not hit it against anything. This proved difficult because now you couldn’t see where you were going. But this wouldn’t have mattered anyway, even if you’d had your head up; you couldn’t see in the darkness either.

After some shuffling around aimlessly, you found the bottom of the bed, and hauled yourself onto it. Crawling over to the pillows, you tried to find Adam with your hands. Your attempts were futile, so you just focused on going up; straight to the headboard. This was an easy task, it was afterwards that was hard.

“I can’t see you, baby,” you pointed out in annoyance. You weren’t annoyed at Adam, but rather the situation.

“Here,” Adam said from somewhere to the left of you. He reached out, seemingly confident that he could find you, and was extremely disappointed. “Okay. Fair enough.”

But this did not satisfy you. You wouldn’t give up that easily. You leaned to the right stiffly, your arms straight out like sticks. You waved them around recklessly, until one of your hands flew into the headboard with a thwack. It hurt more than it should have, and you flinched, sucking in a sharp breath. You pulled your arms to your sides, and clutched your left hand to your chest.

“Are you okay?” Adam asked you in alarm. He was sitting up now, but you, unfortunately, couldn’t see him. “Y/N? What happened?”

“Nothing,” you muttered, your hand throbbing painfully. Maybe you had hit it a little harder than you’d first thought. “Where are you?”

“I’m over here,” Answered Adam.

“Over where?”

“On the right.”

“Well, that doesn’t help me. Are you IN the bed?”

Adam laughed. “Of course I’m IN it. Why would I be out in the cold?”

Sliding over, you crashed into your boyfriend. “Oh!” You exclaimed. “F-Found you.”

Adam tried to wrap an arm around your shoulders, but only ended up hitting you over the head with his elbow. You grunted, and a million little apologies erupted from Adam instantaneously. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry, oh god, did I hurt you?”

“No,” you assured him vehemently. “It’s fine.”

You snuggled up against Adam clumsily, and after a couple of seconds you managed to rest your head on his shoulder. You helped him find your waist, and he put his arm around it gently. “I love you,” Adam said into the darkness suddenly.

It didn’t surprise you to hear that; he always tried to express himself as much as possible. The only thing that surprised you was that he was choosing now to do it. Either way, of course, you would never pass up the opportunity to reply to that. “I love you, too, Adam,” you whispered happily.

“What time is it?” He inquired. “It looks like it’s two AM.”

“I don’t know,” you responded irritatedly. “I can’t find my goddamn phone.”

“No worries,” Adam said and pulled away from you, making your entire right side cold. He went rummaging around in his drawer for a couple of seconds, then cursed. “Mine’s not here either.”

“Well, sh-”

“Wait a minute,” he interrupted. “I can’t find you anymore…”

Your hopes had been crushed. For a moment, you’d thought Adam had found something related to the time, but he wasn’t even thinking about that anymore. You sighed. “Who’s fault is that?”

Adam only tried to kiss you in response. You figured this out when he asked, “Where’s your head?”

“Uhh.” You couldn’t think of a way to answer that. “I don’t know. Where’s YOUR head?”

“Right here,” Adam’s voice sounded right in front of you, making you flinch in surprise. You hadn’t been expecting him to be so close.

“Oh… I didn’t see you there.”

“Wow,” Adam whispered wryly. “It’s almost like… the lights are off.”

You chuckled halfheartedly. “Can… Can I go back to sleep now?” You wondered tiredly. You had work in the morning, and you would have loved to get some beauty sleep before then.

“Awe,” Adam sighed disappointedly. “You want to leave me in the darkness?”

“I want to go to sleep,” you retorted.

Adam stared at you - well in the general direction of you. “But I don’t want you to go…” he whispered.

“I’m not going anywhere. But you’ll have all the time in the world to talk to me tomorrow.”

“Wait,” Adam insisted.

“You should get some rest, too, you know,” you added.

“I’ll go back to sleep,” Adam assured you unconvincingly. “There’s something I want to do first…”

“What?”

“Come here,” Adam told you firmly.

Scoffing, you asked annoyedly, “How? How do you expect me to find you when I can barely see my hands in front of my own eyes?”

“Like this,” Adam leaned forward, using your voice to guide him, and then satisfyingly started kissing you - or was it so satisfying?

His mouth had NEARLY made it to yours, but it hadn’t overall. He had managed to find the corner of your mouth, but mostly your left cheek. You turned your head to the left, connecting your lips to his. You were finding this situation quite comedic, despite it being almost embarrassing.

You both shared a long kiss. Adam pushed you down so that you were on your back with your arms around his shoulders. “Are you SURE I can’t convince you to stay up with me?”

Instinctively you tilted your head back to look at the digital clock that was on your nightstand. It was blank, and you were reminded abruptly of the electricity being out. “Adam-”

Adam kissed you again, surprisingly getting on your lips this time. You could feel the smirk forming on his face. It made his kissing less aggressive but you enjoyed it. “Are you REALLY sure?”

Adam was starting to make you question your responsibility. You did have work in the morning, and sleep really would be beneficial for the both of you, but right now… you would easily stay awake with Adam… In other words, you weren’t sure you could not be convinced to stay awake with Adam. “Well,” you said sheepishly, a light blush covering your cheeks. It was invisible in the darkness. “I guess it won’t hurt this one time…”

Adam was thrilled with this revelation. He started kissing you again, but his lips were off centered. You laughed a little at this, and turned his head slightly to the right. “I’m HERE, baby.”

Faulkner grumbled, seemingly embarrassed. “Sorry. I can’t see what I’m doing.”

You put your hands in his hair. “No worries. I don’t mind.”

Adam slid his hands up your shirt, and you leaned further into the mattress, enjoying the feeling of his hands on your skin. You kissed him harder, deeper. You couldn’t even begin to express just how much you loved him - but damn it was certainly a lot.

The atmosphere had become heated by now. Your lips were moving fast, and your breathing was coming out in short intervals between kisses. When Adam spoke again, it was only to say, “I love you so much, Y/N.”

Your heart swelled happily at his words. You felt so warm every time he said them. “I love you so much, too,” you gasped back.

“How much later do you plan on staying up?”

You thought about it for a short moment. “Well, I should probably be going back to sl-”

Before the words had left your mouth, your phone started buzzing from somewhere beneath you. “What’s that?” Adam inquired.

“My alarm,” you muttered reluctantly. “Telling me I have work.” “Oh…” Adam sounded heartbroken. “You have to leave now?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that sucks.”

Adam sat up, releasing you from his firm grasp, and allowed you to move around. You got on the floor and began feeling around for your phone. You found it under the bed, with fourteen percent of the battery. “Fuck!”

You were glad to see, however, the time! It was six AM. You couldn’t believe four hours had passed since waking up.

Adam crawled over. “What happened?”

You sat up, and ran into him. “Oof!”

Adam tumbled back. “Ow.”

“I’m sorry!” You exclaimed, getting to your feet and attempting to find the bed. You gave up halfway, and turned on your phone flashlight.

Finally, light was poured into the room. In the dim light of your phone flashlight, you could see Adam on his back, his head furthest away from you, with his hands over his face. The entire room was mostly covered in blackness still but at least you could see what was in front of you now. “Are you okay?”

Adam sat up. “Yeah. I think so… Thanks for the smack…”

You wandered over to the light switch and gave it a shove. You did not know what you had been expecting, but the lights all remained turned off. “I’m going to work,” you called over your shoulder.

Adam chased after you. “Wait!” He grabbed his flannel from off the floor, and slung it over his shoulders. “Don’t leave without breakfast.”

“Baby. I have breakfast on the way, silly.”

Adam scowled at you. “Okay, well, at least give me a hug.”

You rolled your eyes, but you pulled your boyfriend into a loving embrace. “Love you.”

“I love you, too.”

You made for the door hastily, not really intending to be in any kind of hurry, and stepped out of the apartment. You enjoyed working at your job, but… you would much rather be at home with Adam, and you weren’t going to deny it: you were excited for the time when you had to come home.

Go to Sleep - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N This one was inspired by Melanie Martinez’s song ‘A thousand Words’. Some parts of the song really made me relate to Adam, so… I know I said I would post it at night but I have high confidence right now. Enjoy!

Nothing had been normal after Adam’s passing. You had never felt so cold before in your life. You hadn’t eaten a full meal for the last two weeks, but… you weren’t hungry. The crackers and the coffee were enough to get you through the day. It was nearing the end of the cold season, you and Adam had made plans for April but it looked like they wouldn’t be happening anymore. You didn’t know how to feel. All you knew was that you missed the one person that you desired. Adam Stanheight. But he was never coming back to you.

It was dark outside, eleven’o’clock at night on a Friday. It was unusual to see the bed empty even though it had been so long since Adam’s death. You couldn’t get your mind around that concept. He had his whole life in front of him, how had it been taken away from him so quickly?

You grasped the bedsheets miserably, trying to go back to sleep. You were tired, but your mind was active; you didn’t want to go to sleep. The bed was cold, and you were not used to it anymore. You missed how it felt when he was with you. You remembered his hands on your skin, his lips on your mouth, and his voice in your ears. But mostly you could still see his face in your eyes. It strangled you, defeated you, and corrupted you. Desperately, you wanted to reach into that image and be WITH Adam. Be with him one more time. But that could never happen, and it never would.

Your ears rang with the sound of your crying, your voice was sore, and your brain was fried. The phantom feeling of Adam’s arms around you, caressing you, drove you mad.

“I miss you,” you whispered to the empty room. “I had so many things to show you. So many things to do with you. So many things to say to you; so many things to talk about! And you were plucked right away from me like the last berry on the vine. Nothing more than a berry on the vine. That’s all. That’s all you are. That’s all you were.”

You closed your eyes, rolling your head to the side.

What happened to us? You wondered. We were young and healthy.

You let out a couple of strangled sobs, before getting up and walking over to the camera resting on the dresser. It had been two weeks since you had picked it up, but now you couldn’t stop yourself. You missed Adam, and all your memories were inside his most prized possession - his camera.

Well, that would have been his second most prized possession, because first place always went to one person: me.

You took the camera in your hands. It was cold and dusty, but still had its shine and its worth. You studied it for a short moment, then delicately pressed the power button on the top. It flickered on with a bright, white, light. It blinded you for a few seconds, but you recovered swiftly, eagerly.

You looked over the first couple of pictures plainly, not feeling anything - or at least trying not to. But when you skipped to the end you found the most recent pictures of Adam. Your heart collapsed into a bunch of glass shards. You flipped through the photos continuously, gradually getting faster and faster with every passing second. Taking in every detail of every photo, you crumpled to the floor, trying not to howl; your neighbors were all asleep at the moment.

Adam had given his heart to you, and it had been ripped out of your hands so mercilessly. You gathered yourself up, and shoved the camera onto the dresser again. Clearly, you were not ready to look at these quite yet. As you got to your feet, you could see out the window that was positioned up above the headboard. Dawn was peeking through the shutters, light blue creeping into the apartment, and purple streaks painting the sky; the sun was coming up. Hastily, you snatched up the camera and raced for the front door. These were the mornings that you and Adam would pose for pictures and take photoshoots of the sky. You weren’t about to lose this opportunity; you’d perform anything to make Adam's spirit last longer.

You knelt on the ground, the doorstep was cold, and raised the camera to your eyes. You snapped a picture of the sky, nostalgia eating you alive. You could almost feel Adam’s warm body pressing up against you from behind, and his soft hands casually placing themselves around yours so as to adjust your grip on the camera.

How did you do it again? Was it like this? You took another picture, and another, and another. Adam’s advice and instructions were coming to you naturally now. You could do it all on your own.

You took several more photos until you didn’t know what to do with yourself, and then you sat down on the stairs and looked through them. Everything was perfect! They all looked exactly the way Adam would have taken them. All the angels were correct, as were the shadows and the lighting. You started humming sadly.

“Our love’s a postcard on it’s way, heading toward no destiny.”

Adam’s words still whispered in your ears and you shook your head, trying to clear it before you gave way into fantasy. But you were not fortunate enough for that. You ended up falling asleep on the pavement, lucky for you it wasn’t supposed to start raining until tomorrow evening.

"I had a thousand words to say."

Your eyes fluttered shut as you drifted off to sleep, but Adam was still engraved into your vision. His dark eyes, his dark hair, his smile, his face, his clothes… He was the last thing that you were thinking about.

"You gave me your heart, then took it back from me."

Somewhere deep inside your dreams you dreamed about him, about Adam, and it nearly killed you all the while. It was like Adam was really with you in that moment. You could hear his voice like it was physically in the room with you, lulling you to sleep.

“This isn’t real, is it?” you muttered, interrupting yourself form your singing.

And the response was so actual, you almost woke up. “How would you know, baby?”

You gazed around, trying to find where the source was coming from. “Because the mind can work itself into seeing and hearing the things that it longs to.”

A hand traveled down your back. “Hm. I think when you wake up, you will know the answer to that question.”

You shivered. “Adam,” you murmured.

“Sleep well, my love. I know you need it.”

“Wait, don’t go,” you feebly choked out.

“I don’t think I have a choice,” there was a hint of amusement in Adam’s tone - if it even was Adam talking to you. It was hard to tell, between the dreaming and waking worlds.

One last time you finished singing the last part of the song. "Close my eyes and got to sleep. You're the last thing, the last thing that I see."

The pavement was digging into your thighs and feet painfully, and the cool wind blew into your face, and the approaching thunder disappeared into the background. The position in which you slept was nothing if not uncomfortable, but this was still the best sleep you had ever had in a long, long, time. Your heart was heavy, and your mind was blank, but just like every night, as you bowed your head and closed your eyes, Adam Stanheight was the last thing that you saw, and just like every morning, he was the first thing that you thought of.

Dreaming of You - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N I've been inspired to write this for a long time. Water Fountain - Alec Benjamin - inspired it.

.

The hot wind blew into your face and blistered your skin. It was one hundred and six degrees this summer but you didn’t mind, not now that your emotions were so laid back. The past year was over, and you didn’t feel good about it at all; all you felt was numb. Your heart was heavy, your stomach was sick, and your head hurt painfully. You gazed at the beautiful water fountain in front of you. The water rose and fell methodically, flaring out prettily at the top and splashing a little over the edge.

You closed your eyes, trying to clear your head, when you felt a soft, gentle, hand on your shoulder. The scent of tart, metallic, smoke came from behind you. You grit your teeth in frustration, trying to center yourself. The voice that spoke out was calm, and familiar. Just a little higher in pitch than you would expect for such a man. “Hey, Y/N.”

You couldn’t keep your feet planted in one place, even though you knew you should. “Adam!” You exclaimed brightly, spinning around quickly. You flung your arms around his shoulders despite yourself. You really couldn’t help it, you needed this right now. Reality was just too harsh at the moment.

“Hey, baby!” Adam smiled at you warmly, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You rested your head on his chest, letting the softness of his white tee sooth you. You let out a deep sigh. “Adam…” you breathed. “I was wondering when you’d come find me.”

Adam lifted his hands up, and brushed his fingers through your hair. “Darling, of course I’d find you. I’d never leave you.”

You gazed up at him sadly, not feeling secure. You hadn’t felt secure for the last twelve months. “I thought I’d lost you forever, remember? Sometimes, I still feel that.”

Adam looked at the fountain solemnly. “Yeah. I do, too. But it’s over now. You don’t have to worry about that anymore. I love you, and that’s all that matters. Why don’t we go home?”

You shook your head. Somehow, you weren’t ready to leave this place yet. “No. Not quite. I… need a little more time… I miss you…”

“ ‘Miss’ me?” Adam asked you skeptically. “Baby, I’ve been here the whole time. You went to look at the fountain, remember?”

“Oh…” you grumbled dishearteningly. “Y-Yeah. I do now.”

“Oh, sweet-pea, please cheer up. It’s like you’ve lost a puppy, or something. Come on. Come here.” Adam plopped you on the edge of the water fountain, and sat on your lap. He cupped your cheeks with both hands. They were soft and warm, and his breath traveled down your neck and gave you goosebumps. You leaned your head back, allowing Adam to start kissing you. You smiled at the clear sky and sighed heavily. Holy shit, this was what you had needed during that last year. “Where were you?” You murmured.

“What do you mean?” Adam asked you in annoyance, his lips barely removing themselves from your skin. “I’VE BEEN HERE. I DIDN’T GO ANYWHERE.” He emphasized every word.

You looked at him happily. “Mmmh. I know. It just feels… like… We’ve been away for a long time… I don’t know…”

Adam lifted his mouth up to yours. “Now where have you been getting those ideas? You’re always allowed into my dark room, you know. I’d love your company, baby. Just don’t touch anything, please. I put a lot of work into those photos.”

Your heart melted. You pressed yourself closer to him. “Of course. I’m sorry. I should have thought of that. Of course that’s why I feel so lonely.”

Adam rubbed your head, and then wrapped his hands around your waist. He pulled your hips forward, brought your head in real close and kissed you. “You don’t deserve that loneliness, darling,” he whispered in your ear. “Come produce photos with me one day.”

You felt so light and overwhelmed. You were giddy, and very much at a loss for words. You gaped at him. “Just kiss me,” you begged him longingly.

“There’s the Y/N I know. Finally coming back to yourself, I see? Let’s keep it that way, yeah? No more dosage of depression, please. I just want my baby back…”

His words struck your nerves. You could feel heat rising in your cheeks, and butterflies flying in your stomach. You reached out your arms and wound them around Adam’s shoulders. “I love you,” you whispered. It was all you could think of to say.

“I love you, too.”

Adam kissed you again, harder this time, with much more passion.

More heat.

More excitement.

More lust.

You felt like an angel floating through heaven, Adam’s way of pleasing you was just so perfect. You wrapped your legs around his waist, Adam adjusted himself on your lap. “You like this?” He questioned softly in your ear.

So much!

There were no words to explain how you felt right now. You felt… Happy… That was the most important thing right now, not feeling sad anymore.

You felt safe.

You felt glad.

You felt… hmmm… perhaps that one wasn’t meant for public ears…

“Baby,” you practically whimpered out in desperation. “I-I…” your voice trailed off as you spoke. Shyly, you forced yourself to finish the sentence you started; there was no turning back now. “...Want you.”

Adam only looked at you smugly. One eyebrow was raised, and there was a crooked smirk on his face, as his villainous gaze observed you thoughtfully. But he didn’t say anything. Not a single word. He didn’t make a move, either. You both sat there in silence.

“Adam,” you broke the silence eventually. You were confused. What had you said to make him zone out like that? “Did I do something?”

“No!” Adam objected immediately. “You did nothing wrong… but I’m just wondering how long you plan on staying here. Your ass is nearly falling off the fountain.”

“No, it’s not!” You exclaimed. It was true. You were sitting firmly on the edge of the water fountain. “Oh… Sorry…” Adam mumbled awkwardly. “The angle looked weird from here.” He laughed , but it was forced.

“This is the fountain, isn’t it?” You asked, abruptly changing the subject. “You said, if you could have a water fountain in our house, this would be the one. Didn’t you?"

Adam peered past you to the fountain. “Yeah. I think it would be cool if we could have a water fountain in the yard, or something like that. I’m still not sure about all the details.”

You smiled to yourself. “It’s okay. I like the idea. Just keep fantasizing, we’ll figure it out.”

“I think it’s time we left. It’s getting dark, doesn’t that worry you?”

“Nah,” you said casually. “I’m just… here. I’m… happy.”

Adam looked at you miserably for a moment. “Y-Yeah. Yeah. I’m glad to see you happy.”

“You don’t look like it.”

Adam kissed you once more. “It’s not that at all. I’M worried about being out late. But we can stay since you want to so badly.”

You beamed up at him, eyes gleaming. “Thanks, Adam.”

Adam pulled his fingers through your hair. “I should’ve built a home with a fountain for us,” he hummed out quietly. “The moment that you told me that you were in love.”

Adam started to flicker and fade. It alarmed you because you could still hear his voice in your ears and feel his touch on your body. It was a rare collision of flickering, but still you were beginning to see through him like a foggy window. The real world was breaking through your illusion.

Your eyes kept fluttering open and closed over and over again, until finally you woke up for good. Your back hurt, your head hurt, your butt also hurt; and you realized then that you were nearly falling off the edge of the water fountain.

The streetlamps were on all along the sidewalk, illuminating the darkness slightly. Sunset had passed a long time ago, obviously.

To the side, there was music playing. A quiet melody that no one but you could hear. However, now that there were no more people around to bring sound to counter it, the entire cemetery was filled with your music. “Now I’m grabbing her hips, and pulling her in. Kissing her lips, and whispering in her ear and I know that it’s only a wish. And that we’re not standing by the water fountain.”

How long have I been listening to the same song? You wondered. I didn’t know it was on repeat! I think my favorite song is after this… No wait, you realized. That can’t be right. If my favorite song was after this, I would have skipped this one completely!

You looked around the gloomy cemetery one last time. While you had been unable to assign the water fountain to Adam, you had been able to get the cemetery to put it in as a memorial for ALL of its occupants. It still stung. “I’m sorry,” you said.

Lifting yourself from the fountain, you found yourself unsteady. You stumbled down the hill, and looked back up at the water fountain. Your heart was heavy and sore. You didn’t want to leave this place, not when it gave you so much comfort.

So much relief.

You stared at the gravestone closest to the fountain. You couldn’t read it from this distance, but you knew what was on it. Your boyfriend’s full name. It tore you apart, it really did. You didn’t know how you could manage this all on your own. You didn’t know how you could SURVIVE. You didn’t want to leave Adam behind. You simply wanted to be with him one more time. “I just…” you stammered out loud. You tripped over your words for a short moment.

Frustrated you blurted out your thoughts honestly. The truth always hurt more the longer you held it in. Your words were cold, and blew away in the frost, up towards Adam’s resting place, but sometimes telling the truth was all one needed to feel better. Standing in the chill, as the clock struck twelve, you muttered to yourself dejectedly,

Horridly,

Depressingly,

“I still love you, baby.”