[1:28am]

[1:28am]

assassin!jaehyun presses his hand to your rifle, stepping between you and your target. you’d known he would try to stop you when he found out your assigned target was his civilian brother - but you didn’t think the pleading look in your partner’s eyes would hurt as much.

“move, jaehyun,” you tell him sternly, your voice cracking ever so slightly as you speak his name.

“you can’t do this,” he says, completely covering your line of fire by pressing his chest to the tip of your rifle. his eyes beg with you as you push him with the weapon. “(y/n), just for old time’s sake, please.”

you had previously knocked the target out for a quick death due to your guilt when jaehyun stepped in. your eyes flickered to his trembling hands that had set his brother more comfortably on the floor while you were frozen in shock from his sudden appearance.

“you know i have to, jae,” you shove him with the tip of your rifle again. “we both know what happens to my family if i don’t. move, or i’ll shoot.” it’s a blatant lie, and your voice shakes as you tell it.

jaehyun’s eyes harden. “no.”

you tear up at the prospect of having to fight and possibly kill your best friend, partner, and long-time love. “jaehyun, please.” it was you begging now. “i don’t want to hurt you, but i will.” if you shot through jaehyun’s heart, he would surely die - especially since you were firing from so close.

“he’s my only family, (y/n),” jaehyun says, taking a step closer as your rifle presses into his chest. he takes a deep breath. “you can shoot me. tell them i stopped you and he got away. it’ll be convincing if i die.”

“i can’t do that,” you breathe, tears in your eyes. it was so unlike you to be emotional during a mission, but it was different when jaehyun was involved.

“please,” jaehyun says. his eyes have that flame of determination that you glimpse whenever he finishes off a target - except this time, the target is himself. “please. for me. let dohyun escape, maybe hide him.”

this won’t end the way either of you want it to, and you know it.

you throw your rifle to the floor. “fight me,” you tell him.

jaehyun is only the slightest bit surprised. he’s probably anticipated this, observing your thought process as your partner for several years.

the both of you kick, swing, and punch each other with impossible agility, jaehyun careful to block you from his brother every time you get too close. you land multiple punches on his jawbone as he kicks you in the stomach.

but you can feel that neither jaehyun nor you are fighting with full power.

“i won’t hold back anymore,” you say, slightly out of breath.

“neither will i,” jaehyun smiles slightly, and slides under you as you whip around, anticipating a sudden attack.

you hadn’t thought he would grab your rifle and shoot his own heart.

“jaehyun!” you scream, and rush to his side as he coughs out blood. your fingers tremble as you press the wound in futile hopes that it would magically seal.

he tries to lean on the wall, but to avail - he slides back down in pain, a smear of blood left on the wall.

you cup his face in your bloody hands, lip trembling as you speak. “i hate you so much.”

he looks like he would laugh if it wasn’t too painful. “is that all you have to say?”

you let out a deep sigh while looking into his eyes. they look happier than you’d ever seen them after a flame. “i have too much to say.”

“i do, too,” jaehyun breathes, and coughs out some more blood as you wipe it from his mouth with worried eyes. both of you know his wound is too severe - you’ve both taken several medical classes and witnessed several deaths and know when a wound is absolutely fatal. he smiles, his dimples bloody. “you know, i love you.”

your eyes widen.

“this probably isn’t the best place,” jaehyun jokes, then winces as he forces a laugh back down his throat, “or time. but i don’t think i could die without telling you. you know? i don’t want a respons-”

“i love you too,” you blurt, and jaehyun’s eyes widen in surprise. you press your forehead against his. “i just... wish we had more time.”

jaehyun wonders if it would be disgusting to kiss you when he’d just coughed out blood, but you beat him to it, the taste of death lingering between breaths.

his eyes flutter closed as he presses one last kiss to your lips, murmurs a last plea to help his brother, and whispers a last breath proclaiming “i love you.”

[11:34 pm]

long distance boyfriend!jaehyun surprises you just as valentine’s day is about to end, holding a bouquet of red roses tied together by a huge red ribbon. his lovable dimples carve into his pink cheeks as he beams up at you from the bottom of the steps of your home.

“do you want to be my valentine, beautiful?”

you freeze for a moment, not being able to believe your eyes. you quickly run down your steps, the chilly february air making you shiver as you jump into jaehyun’s warm arms. you’re in your pajamas - you hadn’t expected jaehyun to come so far to see you, especially since he had been so busy with practice recently. “i can’t believe you’re here,” you exclaim, grinning uncontrollably and pressing large kisses to his cheeks that are pink from the cold. “happy birthday, love. if i knew you’d been coming...” you trail, looking into his eyes with regret that you hadn’t really prepared anything for his birthday besides that box with the album and his favorite chocolates you had shipped to him weeks ago.

“it’s absolutely okay. i suddenly had an uncontrollable urge to see my beautiful girlfriend,” jaehyun says cheekily as you entwine your fingers with his and pull him inside your cozy home, the both of you laughing as jaehyun almost trips over the doormat. hearing his deep, rich laugh in person; kissing his lovable dimple-cheeked smile; and feeling his heart pump just as fast as yours through the interweaved segments of your fingers makes you feel like the happiest valentine in the world.

[9:57 pm]

bad boy!lucas loves it when you call him luca. you’d misheard his name the first time you met at a coffee shop, his eyes flirtatious but his cheeks rosy pink as he tried to flirt with you. you were different, somehow. 

maybe it was the way your pretty brown eyes glimmered amusedly as he introduced himself with a slight stammer that even he didn’t know was capable from his confident persona. maybe it was the way your slender, pretty hands tucked strands of soft black hair behind your ear when they fell to cover your eyes. maybe it was the perfect girl-next-door aura you seemed to radiate - the girl everyone’s parents would want them to marry, the girl everyone in the community showered with love because she did the same.

lucas doesn’t know why he was drawn to someone so different from himself at the first glance, but he hadn’t had the opportunity to give it a second thought since he fell into your eyes - a beautiful brown ocean he knew he loved to get lost in. 

he thinks the name luca had a different feel to it than his actual name: a typical name for a boy-next-door, perhaps. it makes him feel as if he is closer to you mentally, especially as he tucks your hair behind your ear and softly cups your cheeks with his big hands - his fingers stretching to support the back of your neck - as he leans in to kiss you. you feel him smiling, and know he can feel the same. you pull him closer by wrapping your arms around his neck with a giggle.

he knows you love him for whoever he is, but he has an overwhelming, insatiable desire to feel even closer to you. lucas would gladly become luca if it would make your parents like him even a bit more - if it would let you love him forever.

NCT 127 enneagram types

warning: this is kind of long but i researched so much about enneagrams for this :)

++ i love these boys with all my heart. this is just how i see them as personality types (strengths, psyche, and flaws)

one: the perfectionist

JAEHYUN - 1w2 (but i want to say 1w3) i think jae is a one or a three, but i placed him in one because his perfect image is what he wants to actually become and project to others. jaehyun has most of the qualities of a one: a big perfectionist, responsible, honest, and improvement-oriented. he probably self-condemns when he doesn’t achieve the results he wants, and works to become the perfect image of himself. he holds himself to a very high standard, and most likely holds others to relatively high standards as well, especially if they affect his way to perfection. i think he tends to hold his anger in through silent resentment. jaehyun has a dominant two-wing. he’s aware of the needs of others and strives to fulfill them in the hopes that they’ll need him in their lives. he seeks love and affection. 

++ i really want to say he has a three-wing, though a 1w3 isn’t a thing, since he’s high-achieving, image-conscious, competitive (comparing with others), and enthusiastic.

DOYOUNG - 1w9 doyoung is a member who’s hard to read but i think he’s a 1w9. as a one, doyoung is also a perfectionist, but may be a bit less of a perfectionist than jaehyun. he is honest, responsible, and improvement-oriented. he makes very practical decisions, and tends to follow his head instead of his heart, weighing the pros and cons of each choice. he probably thinks back on past mistakes and continuously regrets them, working hard to not make the same mistake again. doyoung is very aware of how others perceive him; he desires love and admiration from others. what makes doyoung and jaehyun really different, though, are their corresponding wings. doyoung’s nine-wing allows him to be more rational than jaehyun, who may think more emotionally/subjectively. (doyoung definitely places importance in his emotions, though, especially as they play a great role in his singing capabilities.) doyoung would also undertake greater costs to stay at harmony with others than jaehyun.

two: the helper

JUNGWOO - 2w3 wow! a BIG BIG two. jungwoo loves taking on the role as caretaker. he mostly acts on his emotions but also considers the practicality of his actions in regards to how they will affect other people’s well-being. he seeks acceptance and accomplishment, like taeyong (3w2), but the difference is that jungwoo seeks accomplishment in relationships with others (forms of love). jungwoo is easily adaptable and understands what people want in relationships. he fears that if people are not dependent on him for his care and love, he will become worthless (pride that he is indispensable in relationships). setting boundaries might be hard for him, and he may feel that he is not loved for himself but for what he does for others sometimes. he’s really good at being affectionate and encouraging others, and is well-liked.

three: the performer

TAEYONG - 3w2 (i had research on him bc i’m a three) i’m almost completely positive taeyong is a three; i’m a three (w2 also hehe) myself and i definitely see him as one too. he’s image-conscious, a high achiever, driven, organized, and overworked. he speaks enthusiastically and encourages himself and others to succeed - an important quality as a leader. earning recognition and social networking seem important to him. taeyong is good at naturally sensing who holds the “power” in a room. he is probably more impressive and charismatic when on stage or talking to a large group of people than he is one-on-one. to be completely honest, taeyong is not a natural leader but a person who has developed his leadership qualities in order to reach the success he craves. i think taeyong also has a big two wing; he strives to be loved by others (it’s important that everyone likes him).

four: the romantic

[no one - probably because fours are really introverted and don’t tend to become celebrities.]

five: the observer

MARK - 5w6 mark is a five. mark is a bit of an introvert, might be stingy at times (i also just remembered doyoung said he never saw mark’s wallet before the sudden bag reveal vlog LMAO ily mark), and likes to process things. he has an intellectual side to him and wants to master his interest (music). as a five, mark is really uncomfortable with touch. (tbh as soon as richard rohr (the author) said fives don’t like touch, i was like, “mARk!) he places importance in privacy and freedom, but he also feels isolated because of it. he seeks a balance between his private life and social life. understanding and expressing his emotions might be a challenge to him. as a person with a 6 wing, mark is loyal and loves the people he defines as “his community.” mark is subconsciously cautious of people, though, and it takes time for him to open up. he worries a lot - too much, sometimes. rules are important to him, and he likes making agreements. [edit may 2020: i now strongly suspect he might also be a 1]

six: the loyal skeptic

WINWIN - 6w5 wow i had such a hard time figuring winwin out that i said i didn’t know his enneagram type in my first post but now i think he’s obviously a 6w5. he might also be a 5w6, but he seems to give me more of a six vibe than a five vibe. as a six, sicheng desires support and guidance from the people he trusts. it is hard to get sicheng to emotionally open up - i think that with his shy side as a five and his distrustful side as a six, winwin might be the most difficult member to truly get close to in all of nct. i think that nct 127 - besides the language barrier - is a healthy environment for winwin because nct 127 absolutely adores him. winwin is arguably the bias of every member in nct 127, from yuta (who is not afraid to tell winwin that he is absolute love) to mark (who is slightly shy about expressing it but loves winwin so much). winwin’s lovable energy is his natural disposition, but i also think that he subconsciously maintains it beacuse of his desire as a six to be accepted and supported by others. through his lovable energy, winwin is able to feel stable and reassured in his social networks, thereby eliminating all of winwin’s potential social insecurity inside the group. as a six with a five wing, winwin obviously does not love being touched, kissed, or hugged most of the time. he is a bit introverted, and is the type to become completely immersed in a subject he’s interested in (ex. his dancing); he wants to master it completely. winwin also values his privacy.

YUTA - 6w7 okay so: yuta is really confusing though he’s also one of my favorites. i had a hard ass time trying to figure him out, and i edited this post in february 2020 to move him from 8 to 6. yuta seems to be emotionally distant from others to an extent - due to a classic 6 fear that he’ll lose security or be hurt if he easily opens up emotionally. he is loyal and very expressive to the people he trusts and knows won’t hurt him, though (ex. winwin, sicheng, wayv’s ‘97 baby... ). maybe he likes winwin so much because he sees his six side in winwin (but in a slightly different way). i used to think he was a bit of a three because he places great importance on how people see him (ex. his written goal in nct life was to become a man who everyone would see as accomplished), and because he hold bit of arrogance in the image he desires as a “masculine” man. now i think those are his classic six desires to fight against his insecurity and to be supported through his “masculine” image, though. his seven wing seems to show in the way that he does love to socialize with people, though, especially the ones he actually trusts (as a six), and in the way that he naturally brings energy to groups. 

seven: the epicure

(LMAO i had to)

HAECHAN - 7w6 haechan is a seven. he’s positive, extroverted, spontaneous, fun-loving, and always seeking an adventure. he’s a quick thinker - which contributes to his funny, clever comments. he reads people very well, like taeyong. i think the difference between a seven and a three’s social networking, though, is that while a seven enjoys social networking in itself, a three enjoys it because it can help them reach success. haechan fears “missing out” on events, is not too efficient in dealing with the “bad” side of things (denies pain), and is a bit impatient and impulsive. he may get bored of things quickly. he wants to have fun in life with others. haechan seems to have a dominant 6 wing; he’s very loyal to the people he considers important in his life. he questions rules, but also follows the ones he believes in. as a 7w6, he does doubt the intentions of the ones he is not very close with and seeks safety and comfort.

nine: the mediator

JOHNNY - 9w8 (johnny took me literally 3 minutes, what a king) AN 9w8 ALL THE WAY! i really hope no one disagrees with me on this one. johnny is an amazing people-person (9), and a natural leader (8) who doesn’t feel the necessity to lead. (basically, he has the qualities of a leader but he would rather help harmonize with others than aggressively lead.) he speaks assertively (as a w8) but with regard for other opinions, maybe in the form of adding an “i think so” or a laugh at the end. he’s not too concerned with regulations unless it impacts relationships with others or he thinks they are fair. fairness is very important to him - a classic quality in an 8. he can be extremely stubborn if he genuinely believes in his point, and assertively does his best to defend the person he believes is “right” in an argument while trying to come to an agreement. johnny wants to be at peace with himself and others, and is afraid of being separated from the world. maybe he is a bit ambivalent inside. i think people who are 8w9 and 9w8 are very interesting because the types 8 (assertive leader) and 9 (neutral harmonizer) almost contradict each other. johnny is the perfect balance, a natural leader in the shadows who loves to create harmony.

TAEIL - 9w1 (taeil actually didn’t take me that long, ily taeil) taeil definitely seems like a nine to me. he seeks harmony and avoids conflict with others. he’s accepting, fair, and seems a bit dispersed (not in a bad way). he doesn’t seem to like when someone comes off too strong. he probably has occasional eruptions but usually avoids anger through passive aggression. taeil is also such a 9w1. he strives for perfection in what he does, is honest, and is responsible. he places importance in feeling connected to others (but also values his private life).

renhyuck antics

[2:45pm]

it’s a lazy afternoon - one haechan hasn’t had for years since his first debut. you and haechan sit facing each other on the floor of your parents’ art studio, the coldness of the marble somewhat muffled by the newspaper you sit on. you are painting sunflowers on each other’s hands; your sunflowers stem from the roots on the wrist of his left hand and bloom near his fingers, while his sunflowers messily graze upon the entirety of your left hand. you laugh because they kind of look like burnt scrambled eggs, and haechan laughs because your laugh is so damn cute (but also because he thinks so, too). he then playfully attempts to flirt seductively, calling you his flower with a wink, a lip bite, and that look - to which you can’t stop laughing uncontrollably, but press a messily placed kiss to his cheek because he’s just so adorable. haechan’s eyes light up as he peppers your face with kisses, making you giggle as you entangle your fingers in his damaged hair in a joking attempt to pry him away. you can’t remember the time you’d laughed this much - or felt this happy. but haechan always seems to do that to you.

the afternoon sunlight smiles upon the both of you from the large, circular window behind you. the golden light kisses haechan’s eyes into a deep shade of sweet honey, and you know you’d love to be even a scrambled-egg-looking sunflower if it meant that you would be able to look at your sun forever.