Athena Speaks - Tumblr Posts

Maybe this is a good time to introduce myself?

Hi, I'm Athena, I use she/her and bisexual and I like a lot of things! I collect video games and Vpets, and I also like to read and do art sometimes!

I have really bad ADHD, and it mostly affects my memory and gives me A LOT of executive dysfunction. Please be patient with me, I try not to forget.

Mutuals.... I love you. If you wanna DM me you're more than welcome.

If you're a homophobe, transphobes/TERF, or bigot, fuck off and die.

PLEASE TELL ME IF I REBLOG SOMETHING BY SOMEONE AWFUL!!!! I will delete it!!! I try to be vigilant and careful, but I'd rather KNOW I fucked up than not.

Something I love about my relationship with my partner is how we've developed our own language, just for ourselves.

We won't say dinner, or breakfast, or YouTube, or lots of other normal words. We have our own words, some similar, some completely different.

It's a form of intimacy I adore and love.

Fools, now that you've followed me, you're going to see me posting my interests on your dash, which will make you more aware of them, and also make you interested in them!

I'm reading Warriors for the first time!

I'll blog my thoughts on it here. Please don't give me spoilers, though.

I finished book one and I did like it.

I am going to explode if Tigerclaw doesn't get gotten. He's such a shit head.

I do like Yellowfang. Grumpy old lady.

I'm reading Warriors for the first time!

I'll blog my thoughts on it here. Please don't give me spoilers, though.

I finished book one and I did like it.

I am going to explode if Tigerclaw doesn't get gotten. He's such a shit head.

My Thoughts on The Prophecies Begin

Obvious Spoiler warning, I will be talking about all six books and the ending of this particular series, but it will be limited to this one.

I think, especially when compared to a lot of books for a similar demographic, Warriors was really good. The writing is descriptive, but not overly flowery, while still feeling to the point. It didn't feel like there was a lot of filler, I feel like most everything was relevant to the story in some way, and the world and its rules were really interesting. I don't really blame the books for being predictable, they're meant for an audience younger than me.

The tension in most of the series was genuinely really good. There was a lot of setup for some things, like Tigerstar (then Tigerclaw) being seen sharing tongues with Brokentail, and the reader immediately knows something is up.

I did find some of the characters frustrating, but I am not sure if that is more a me problem or a symptom of where some aspects could have improved. For example, Book 2 (Fire and Ice) was the single most frustrating one to read, since a lot of the conflict in that book comes from both Fireheart and Graystripe consinuously making similarly bad decisions, and Fireheart being mad a Graystripe for it, but not really considering how his actions were not much different. I also found Cloudpaw a little annoying and frustrating, though I think this may have been a little bit of the point of his character at the time he was Cloudpaw.

There were a lot of characters I did really like, though. I really liked Yellowfang, she was a fun character and her grumpy old lady kind of personality I think was interesting for a character who spends her time caring about and for others. Her death was one of the saddest scenes in the book, and I cannot get over her wishing that she had Fireheart for a son instead of the one she really had.

I also really enjoyed Whitestorm. He was just, likeable. There wasn't really anything to dislike about him. He was a good friend to the main character, and very wise. I kind of wish he had been developed a little more as a character. But what we did get to see of him, I liked a lot. He was loyal, and wise, and kind. Even when Bluestar wasn't well, he was there for her and was going above and beyond to help Fireheart, guising him gently, but not pushing him to anything through his deputyship. He was an obvious choice for Clan deputy.

My thoughts on Bluestar are super complicated, and I did initially really like her as a character. My thoughts on Bluestar after Tigerclaw's treachery was known are complicated, and I don't know exactly how to word them or what words to use. I did really like a few passages with her then, as a few were certainly extremely memorable. I'm just not sure I can articulate how I feel about her character in a way that would make any sort of sense.

I'm not sure how much I liked the thing with BloodClan, they seemed like they could have been interesting as a villain, but they were not around for ling, and only really became relevant in like, the last 10% of the Darkest Hour, which did unfortunately make them feel a little rushed and our of place for me. Especially since they wound up killing Tigerstar. I'm not sure what a better way to set them up in my opinion would have been, but they just felt so... weird?

I did think the religion that the cats had was interesting. They don't really have a deity, but there's not much better way to describe how they seem to feel about their warrior ancestors in StarClan. They believe that StarClan has more control over things than they really do, when StarClan is much more observatory and destiny, if that makes sense. They believe that StarClan can control the happenings of the forest, though they more just take a role of guides.

Overall, I think it was pretty good, maybe I can figure out more of my thoughts later, and when my boyfriend actually finishes reading them, talking with him might help me put better word to my thoughts. If I do, I'll likely add in the reblogs.

Thinking about making a side blood where I talk about videogames and review them..... I have A LOT of thoughts on games and want to passionately talk about them.

Sometimes the worst thing about being on this hellsite is being not nearly clever or funny enough for it.

Met a really nice girl at work today!! We got to chat because we do similar work and tbh it's really refreshing chatting to a non-coworker who knows the struggle with our area of work.

I hope she comes by again sometime! She was really sweet.

An aspect I had heard but was never properly prepared for about becoming an adult was how bodies change. Not during puberty, but through other time, especially in shape and weight.

I was always tiny and stick-thin growing up. I'd gotten a lot of praise (and nastiness and grossness) for this my whole life.

Now I'm an adult woman who's not as tiny and thin as I used to be, and I still don't know how to handle it. I've gained weight and I look healthier, probably.

But I'm left with this..... feeling I can't quite describe. I'm not the tiny and thin girl I was.

It feels so weird being a heavier person than I was ever used to being. I went from being a size 4 to a size 14 in 4 years.

It feels weird.

I don't know if I'd call myself fat, or large, or plus-sized. (I don't see any of those as bad things, and hey're not markers of beauty or worth)

But I know I wouldn't call small, thin, or slim words to describe me, either.

And it's .. weird, feeling so awkward and unlike what you were more or less taught to be, unlike what everyone said you are or were, in your own body.

And it's weird trying to adjust to changes like that in a world that can be so hostile and unkind to bodies.

Being one way your entire life and then being another in what feels like no time is hard to adjust to.

(I want to stress I see nothing wrong with people being skinny or fat or larger or smaller. I just really needed to talk about adjusting to a changing body that feels so jarring to be in sometimes.)

If you're a landlord, I hope you know that you are a parasite.

You add nothing of value. All you do is take something that people need and force them to pay for it.

It's not a "job", nor is it a "service", it's theft and exploitation and I sincerely hope you choke.

There's something so beautiful about stepping out of the house and just listening to the road. The people on it. Hearing their footsteps, or the tones of a conversation, or hear the soft, vague beat of a song they're playing aloud on their phone, or from their car, their windows down in the heat, music pouring out.

Dogs barking somewhere down the street, kids yelling and playing somewhere out of sight. Birds chirp, trees rustle.

There's something about watching the flow of traffic. A quiet small town's second busiest road, the hum of engines and spinning tires, watching the cars ong their way through the intersection.

There's something so beautiful about it.

Guys I’m going to make a hot take

Hey, experienced knitters

Please look at my beginner knitting! I'm not making anything, just practicing knitting/purling and different combinations!!

I'm hoping to figure out my tension and some more stitches before I try out a couple beginner patterns.

It's okay if you need to take time for yourself. Turn off social media, take a nap, go for a walk, meet up with a friend, pet a cat.

There are lots of important things to care about, yes, but it's okay to take time to care about yourself, too. It's important to give yourself time to focus on yourself.

You ever wanna be a feral goblin about your fandom but you're nervous to put your thoughts out there because what if your thoughts are stupid, actually?

Like

I have So Many Thoughts on media and things I like but I'm scared I can't articulate them well enough, and not enough of the internet is willing or able to have interesting conversations about that thing, or that my thoughts aren't developed enough to have a meaningful take on something

But I wanna go insane about it

But I don't wanna feel stupid later as a result

Do you feel me

Sometimes it sucks being in or orbiting fandoms because like

I don't ship things anymore. Here and there, there's a pair that I just like art content about them in general and have other characters I don't mind seeing them paired with

But overall I just don't ship much anymore?

There's something really frustrating about realizing that if you'd been able to have better support for your disabilities in school, you'd have been able to do better. But instead, it was treated as a personal and moral failure.

"She's smart but she's so unmotivated, lazy, and can't seem to focus!" As if I wasn't diagnosed with a condition that's defined by inability to focus, stay on task, and function.

"She always has some excuse" as if I wasn't literally being called lazy, unmotivated, and being told I'm just going to fail by a lot of adults around me, which made me feel like I had to justify myself.

I went through school barely scraping by, and not really knowing that I probably needed more help than I was getting.

But that would have been too much effort, and just calling me lazy was much easier.

If you call me at work and ask me how much you can get for something and my response is "I cannot give numbers over the phone." DO NOT try to come up with a little hypothetical!!!!!!

"Well what if I brought in two perfect-" SHUT UP

"Well what about a ball park?" I also cannot do that, fuck off.

There's not some magical password where I will suddenly tell you how much money I can pay you for an item. It's policy. It's not my fave either, but FUCK.

I'm not an NPC who needs to be given the correct dialogue response!!!!!

I love taking notes for things on paper. It's so nice. It feels more rewarding.

I just hate I can't move things or make space for them as needed like taking them on my computer in a document. Do you feel me?