Brandon Dicamillo - Tumblr Posts

Two Idiots

Warnings: Swearing, A kiss

A/n: I don’t know if Dico went to school with Chris Bam and Ryan but for this we’re just gonna go with it.

"Why don't you hang out with your other friends?" Raab scoffed. This was his usual attitude when Y/n came around. She didn't give it a second thought since she really had no choice. Her mom and April Margera were not only neighbors but good friends. "I would if I could."

"I bet you ask your mom to come just so you can see me." Bam grinned and nodded his head as if he had made some major discovery. "Ew, you wish Bam." The disgusted look on her face made Ryan and Dico laugh. "I see you clowns enough at school. There's no reason for me to see you any more than that."

"Oh come on. You have to like at least one of us. There's no way you don't, statistically speaking." Ryan chimed in. Of course, he had to bring stats into this, such a know it all. "Well, the stats are generally speaking. I don't like any of you and even if I did my dad said I can't date any of you idiots."

This made the guys laugh even harder. They've all had their first girlfriends and Ryan talked about his first kiss. Eighth grade had to have been the most annoying year for her. While they got to do whatever dumb shit they wanted, she had to be home by seven and 'act like a lady'. Her parents were pretty lenient for the most part but dating was a no. Dating Bam and his friends was an absolute no.

"I thought he liked us? He called Bam hilarious." Dico's eyebrows were furrowed and he made it seem like she just said the dumbest thing ever. The conversation was annoying to continue to have, especially when they just didn't get it. With a sigh, she answered, "He does. He did say that. It still doesn't mean he'd want me to date any of you." Ryan nodded his head, finally getting it. Of all of them, he had the most common sense. The others just shrugged and they moved on to what they should do this summer. Y/n gave them some ideas and Bam wrote them down. Most of what they did was her idea, she just could never do them.

During summer break, Bam and the others did everything they said they would and more. It was an accomplishing vacation for all of them. Y/n hasn't come around as much but they didn't really care. They only missed her when they ran out of ideas and there was no one around to pick on. As the summer was ending some of the high school kids were throwing an end-of-the-summer party. These parties were well known and everyone who was invited, plus whoever they brought, went. A total rager. Dico knew the guy throwing the party because they were neighbors, no one understood how he managed to get an invite but he did.

The house party was loud and dimly lit. Everyone was crowded together which made it sweaty.  Bam danced with everyone while the guys watched and made fun of him. When inside was too much they went out back to the pool. Ryan shook his head, "This should've been the first place we went." Girls in see-through white shirts swam around in the pool. One of the girls was trying to pull her friend into the pool. They laughed as she finally got her in.

"Raab, get her number or something." Bam pointed at the girl who pulled her friend into the pool. Chris was hesitant but shrugged and walked over to the edge where she hung to the side. "Hi, gorgeous." He smiled. When she turned to look at him, both of their eyes widened. "Y/n?"

"Were you trying to flirt with me, Raab?" Her nose crinkled up and she let out a laugh, "I still can't date you, idiots." He let out a laugh of embarrassment and slid his hand down the side of his face. The other guys walked over to see what was going on. When she was up close to them, they realized who it was. "Almost didn't recognize you," Ryan commented

"Yeah, I've been at cheerleader camp this whole summer so it's been a while. I wear makeup now too." She smiled. Before they could talk anymore her friend called her over. "Nice seeing you guys. See you around." Y/n got out of the pool and stood next to her friend who was talking to some guys. One of the guys wrapped a towel around her and said something that made her laugh. "Who would've thought Y/n would get this hot over one summer," Raab mumbled

When the school year finally started, it wasn't hard to miss Y/n and her new group of friends. The athletes were always the most known in schools, so it wasn't surprising when she became popular quickly. She was still sweet and genuine, never changing her personality. When she saw Bam, Ryan, Raab, and Dico she always said hey, even walking up to them to talk for a second. Her new 'friends' didn't get why she was bothering with them and even tried to tell her not to talk to them. As much as they used to argue she was quick to defend them. Letting them know they were good friends of hers and she didn't care what they thought.

Homecoming was coming up. The cheerleaders made it a big deal. Not only did they have to perform during halftime at the football game, but they also had a Homecoming dance that was mandatory. Y/n's friends said it was essential to have a date for the dance. The talk of the school was who Y/n would go with. The other cheerleaders recommended football players and other athletes but she declined all offers. It didn't make sense why she needed a date so bad. No one publicly asked her either, afraid of embarrassing themselves, only to shamefully text her begging her to go with them.

While class was in session, she went out to go to the bathroom. She was caught up on everything so it wouldn't cost her anything. The empty halls were peaceful. As she walked around she heard familiar laughter. With nothing better to do, Y/n followed it and to no surprise she found her old friends being stupid.

"Oh no the hall monitors here." Ryan let out a groan of fake annoyance. She let out a laugh, normally she never gave him the satisfaction. "Fuck off."

"So, princess. Who are you going to Homecoming with Jake or Carter?" His voice was anything but serious. The joke would be more funny if people weren’t constantly asking her the exact question. "No one. I'm going solo."

"I can take you to Homecoming." Raab smiled and Y/n smiled back, "Maybe, but I still can't date you, idiots."

Y/n's dad didn't like the idea of her going to Homecoming with any guy, but he at least knew Raab so he allowed it. When she told him she could go with him, he got cold feet. Telling her he was going out of town for the weekend. The guys never let him that down, calling him more names than usual. Her father wasn't pleased but she covered him pretty well. "It was just an idea. I was just asking in case I did want to have a date and if I could go with Raab- I mean Chris."

Even without a date she had fun. She got ready with the senior cheerleaders and listened to music. Since it was their last year they wanted dates but told her not to worry about any guy asking her. At Homecoming she danced with the girls and sang the songs they played.

As the year went on, she didn't see the guys as much as she used to. It wasn't unusual they missed school, they did it all the time. In all honesty, shes surprised she saw them at school as much as she did. She began to miss seeing them around randomly. This feeling went away when she started seeing them around after Cheerleading practice. Ryan would film Bam skating while Dico and Raab did the most random things.

On a random evening after practice, she saw them again, normally she was too tired to say hi but today she decided to go up to them. "It's funny how you're at school more when you aren't supposed to be here" 

"Guess its just better that way" Dico laughed , "Raab climb the tree and get on the roof!" No questions asked Chris climbed the tree and got onto the classroom building. It wasn't a big building but he was high enough to still get hurt if he fell off. "Jump off!"

Instinctively Y/n gasped, "No!" Making them laugh. "Shut up, Y/n. He's a professional. Do it Raab!" Bam yelled to him. Of course he did it.

"God you guys are idiots." She walked over to where he laid groaning. After a few more seconds he stood up with a goofy grin on his face, "You should kiss me ill feel so much better." Y/n rolled her eyes and continued to walk out of the school and back home.

Time went on and Y/n only saw them occasionally. Mostly during the summer at random parties. 'When are you allowed to date idiots?' Raab's words slurred together making Y/n laugh, 'When they stop acting like idiots'

Since she quit cheerleading she stopped seeing them after school. They continued to miss school and only went for a few classes a day and to skate around after hours. When Raab got kicked out of school she stopped seeing them entirely. Even with Bam as her next door neighbor she still never really saw them, too busy with her own life.

~

"Y/n just come with me. April's gonna do my hair." Her mom begged. Not taking no for an answer she grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the house. "It wont take long"

As they walked over Bam and the other stood outside of their house scheming per usual. "Oh hi boys! Nice seeing you! You've all grown up so much. Y/n hang out with them." She gave her a stern look and walked inside the house.

"Is your mom single?" Ryan joked making Y/n smile.

"The real question is, are you single?" Raab wiggled his eyebrows.

"I still can't date you idiots"

They stood there talking about Bam's extravagant plan to ride his skateboard down the hill and into a bush. There was no successful outcome of it but that was the point. Y/n laughed along with them as they showed her the videos they took of them doing some other stunt they did the other day.

"I told you I wouldn't be long, Y/n." Her mom walked out, "Oh, Bam! Your mom told me that she wants you to go to prom. Y/n doesn't have someone to go with so you can go with her!" She cheered. Y/n gave her mom a look and rolled her eyes. "I don't need a date."

Bam’s eyes widened and his cheeks turned a light pink. “I wasn’t planning on going. School events aren’t really my thing.”

"I'll go with Y/n" Raab flashed his smile making her mom smile, "Awe yeah! That'd be so cute."

The night of prom was stressful. April and Y/n’s mom were doing everything they could to get her ready, making sure everything was perfect. Bam Ryan and Dico made sure Raab was ready. Ryan made him wear something nicer than what he wanted to wear.

When she was finally ready, she walked down the stairs and went into the kitchen where everyone was. “Alright, lets go Raab.” After taking so much time to get ready, she was over it. Everyone was amazed at how good she looked. “Let me take a few pictures before you leave!” Her mom ran to grab a camera. After taking a few pictures they left to prom.

The venue was gorgeous, and decorated perfectly. This years prom them was greek gods and goddesses. Y/n and Raab were both dressed accordingly. Fast paced songs played throughout the night, making it enjoyable for both of them. Y/n was of course running for prom queen, so she was nervous the whole night. When the DJ said they would play a few more songs before announcing king and queen, no one expected a slow song. Raab was nervous as ever but still joked, “What? No slow dance.”

“Just remember, I cant date you idiots.” Her arms wrapped around his neck and his hands nervously touched her waist. “I wish you could.” She moved her body closer to his whispering, “I wish I could too.”

“Fuck your dad. I mean not really but who gives a fuck? Im gonna date you, Y/n.” He ranted. She just laughed and continued to slow dance with him.

When the songs were over the winners were finally announced. To no ones surprise Y/n was queen. The king was Carter, a corner for the football team. It was tradition to for them to dance but Carter had a girlfriend, so they made an agreement to just dance with their dates.

Raab brought her home at an acceptable time. It definitely wasn’t the time she needed to be home but it wasn’t as late as it could’ve been. The after party went on later than expected and who were they to go home early.

When Y/n graduated she made plans to stay home for a year or two. Working and doing whatever before she decided, no career plans in mind. Community college was also an option but she was still thinking about it.

Bam Ryan Dico and Raab all made their own plans to keep making videos. It was entertaining for all of them and they were getting attention from it, Bam especially.

While working at the local pizza place, Bam and the others came in. Y/n should’ve known she’d run into a few people working there. “Y’know of all the places I thought you’d be working at, a pizzeria was last on the list.” Ryan laughed

“Ha ha. What can I get started for you?” She stood there in a hat and polo with pizzas on them. They ordered but not before making fun of her uniform. “It’ll be out in ten. Dont disturb the other customers.” Her manager gave her a look and she sighed, “Please.” The fake smile on her face made then laugh even harder. “Assholes.”

When their order was ready she called their number. Raab got up to carry the tray back to the table. “You still look cute, even in that stupid shirt.”

“I-“

“Yeah yeah cant date idiots.” He finished her sentence but she shook her head and lightly laughed, “I was going to say I get off at six, if you wanted to hang out later.”

Y/n walked into the back to restock, leaving him in shock. He made his way back and let the others know.

“Every time you get a chance with her, you blow it.” Ryan smacked he back of his head, “Except prom but even then you didn’t even go through with what you said.”

“Yeah dude, you’re a fuckin’ idiot.” Bam talked with his mouth full.

After her shift she went back home and got ready. If he didn’t show up she’d probably completely give up. Raab hasn’t made a move or even tried no matter how much time she gave him.

The knock on her front door made her stomach turn. ‘Why am I getting nervous its just Raab?’

“Oh Chris! Its so nice to see you! Y/n!” Her mom called her. She made her way down the stairs and to the front door. When he saw her his cheeks turned a light pink and he was at loss of words. Y/n didn’t wear anything special, but whenever he saw her he felt flustered. She waved bye and walked out to his car.

“So- Uh- What did you -Uh want to do?” His stutter made her laugh. It was cute that he was so nervous. “Anything. I just wanted to hang out with you.” Raab pulled out of the driveway and started driving, no destination in mind. The radio played music quietly.

“Yeah?” He nervously laughed. With a shake of her head and a little laugh she answered yes. ‘Do I have to spell it out for him?’

“Chris, I like you. More than friends.” This seemed to be news to him because his eyes widened and he stayed quiet for a few seconds.

“I’ve liked you for a really long time. I would’ve said something sooner if I knew.”

“I thought you were going to after prom, but it never happened.”

“I was but I don’t know. I got nervous I guess.” Raab went through a drive through and got shakes for them. They parked and continued to talk.

“You always said you couldn’t date ‘idiots’” His fingers quoted the word idiots. “I figured if you really wanted date me you’d just talk to my dad” She shrugged sipping her shake.

“Thats all I had to do?! Fuck I really am an idiot.” He laughed

“Its not all your fault but yeah thats all I was waiting for.”

After their date he dropped her back off at her house. He got out and opened the door on her side of the car. “Well I guess ill have to take you out again sometime, huh.” Raab had his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah, I guess you will.” She leaned against the car, “Do I have to spell it out for you this time too?”

He laughed and placed his hand on the side of her face, “No I got it from here.” Raab leaned in and placed his lips gently onto hers. Y/n instantly kissed back wrapping her arms around his neck. His other hand pulled her waist closer to his.

“YEAH RAAB!” Bam and Ryan came out of no where ruining the moment. He pulled away and the guys tackled him. “Bam you’re really fuckin’ annoying.”

“Bye Y/n. I’ll pick you up tomorrow for a real date.” His sudden confidence made her smile, “Bye, Chris. Later morons.” She walked back inside cheesing from ear to ear.

Two Idiots

Warnings: Swearing, A kiss

A/n: I don’t know if Dico went to school with Chris Bam and Ryan but for this we’re just gonna go with it.

"Why don't you hang out with your other friends?" Raab scoffed. This was his usual attitude when Y/n came around. She didn't give it a second thought since she really had no choice. Her mom and April Margera were not only neighbors but good friends. "I would if I could."

"I bet you ask your mom to come just so you can see me." Bam grinned and nodded his head as if he had made some major discovery. "Ew, you wish Bam." The disgusted look on her face made Ryan and Dico laugh. "I see you clowns enough at school. There's no reason for me to see you any more than that."

"Oh come on. You have to like at least one of us. There's no way you don't, statistically speaking." Ryan chimed in. Of course, he had to bring stats into this, such a know it all. "Well, the stats are generally speaking. I don't like any of you and even if I did my dad said I can't date any of you idiots."

This made the guys laugh even harder. They've all had their first girlfriends and Ryan talked about his first kiss. Eighth grade had to have been the most annoying year for her. While they got to do whatever dumb shit they wanted, she had to be home by seven and 'act like a lady'. Her parents were pretty lenient for the most part but dating was a no. Dating Bam and his friends was an absolute no.

"I thought he liked us? He called Bam hilarious." Dico's eyebrows were furrowed and he made it seem like she just said the dumbest thing ever. The conversation was annoying to continue to have, especially when they just didn't get it. With a sigh, she answered, "He does. He did say that. It still doesn't mean he'd want me to date any of you." Ryan nodded his head, finally getting it. Of all of them, he had the most common sense. The others just shrugged and they moved on to what they should do this summer. Y/n gave them some ideas and Bam wrote them down. Most of what they did was her idea, she just could never do them.

During summer break, Bam and the others did everything they said they would and more. It was an accomplishing vacation for all of them. Y/n hasn't come around as much but they didn't really care. They only missed her when they ran out of ideas and there was no one around to pick on. As the summer was ending some of the high school kids were throwing an end-of-the-summer party. These parties were well known and everyone who was invited, plus whoever they brought, went. A total rager. Dico knew the guy throwing the party because they were neighbors, no one understood how he managed to get an invite but he did.

The house party was loud and dimly lit. Everyone was crowded together which made it sweaty.  Bam danced with everyone while the guys watched and made fun of him. When inside was too much they went out back to the pool. Ryan shook his head, "This should've been the first place we went." Girls in see-through white shirts swam around in the pool. One of the girls was trying to pull her friend into the pool. They laughed as she finally got her in.

"Raab, get her number or something." Bam pointed at the girl who pulled her friend into the pool. Chris was hesitant but shrugged and walked over to the edge where she hung to the side. "Hi, gorgeous." He smiled. When she turned to look at him, both of their eyes widened. "Y/n?"

"Were you trying to flirt with me, Raab?" Her nose crinkled up and she let out a laugh, "I still can't date you, idiots." He let out a laugh of embarrassment and slid his hand down the side of his face. The other guys walked over to see what was going on. When she was up close to them, they realized who it was. "Almost didn't recognize you," Ryan commented

"Yeah, I've been at cheerleader camp this whole summer so it's been a while. I wear makeup now too." She smiled. Before they could talk anymore her friend called her over. "Nice seeing you guys. See you around." Y/n got out of the pool and stood next to her friend who was talking to some guys. One of the guys wrapped a towel around her and said something that made her laugh. "Who would've thought Y/n would get this hot over one summer," Raab mumbled

When the school year finally started, it wasn't hard to miss Y/n and her new group of friends. The athletes were always the most known in schools, so it wasn't surprising when she became popular quickly. She was still sweet and genuine, never changing her personality. When she saw Bam, Ryan, Raab, and Dico she always said hey, even walking up to them to talk for a second. Her new 'friends' didn't get why she was bothering with them and even tried to tell her not to talk to them. As much as they used to argue she was quick to defend them. Letting them know they were good friends of hers and she didn't care what they thought.

Homecoming was coming up. The cheerleaders made it a big deal. Not only did they have to perform during halftime at the football game, but they also had a Homecoming dance that was mandatory. Y/n's friends said it was essential to have a date for the dance. The talk of the school was who Y/n would go with. The other cheerleaders recommended football players and other athletes but she declined all offers. It didn't make sense why she needed a date so bad. No one publicly asked her either, afraid of embarrassing themselves, only to shamefully text her begging her to go with them.

While class was in session, she went out to go to the bathroom. She was caught up on everything so it wouldn't cost her anything. The empty halls were peaceful. As she walked around she heard familiar laughter. With nothing better to do, Y/n followed it and to no surprise she found her old friends being stupid.

"Oh no the hall monitors here." Ryan let out a groan of fake annoyance. She let out a laugh, normally she never gave him the satisfaction. "Fuck off."

"So, princess. Who are you going to Homecoming with Jake or Carter?" His voice was anything but serious. The joke would be more funny if people weren’t constantly asking her the exact question. "No one. I'm going solo."

"I can take you to Homecoming." Raab smiled and Y/n smiled back, "Maybe, but I still can't date you, idiots."

Y/n's dad didn't like the idea of her going to Homecoming with any guy, but he at least knew Raab so he allowed it. When she told him she could go with him, he got cold feet. Telling her he was going out of town for the weekend. The guys never let him that down, calling him more names than usual. Her father wasn't pleased but she covered him pretty well. "It was just an idea. I was just asking in case I did want to have a date and if I could go with Raab- I mean Chris."

Even without a date she had fun. She got ready with the senior cheerleaders and listened to music. Since it was their last year they wanted dates but told her not to worry about any guy asking her. At Homecoming she danced with the girls and sang the songs they played.

As the year went on, she didn't see the guys as much as she used to. It wasn't unusual they missed school, they did it all the time. In all honesty, shes surprised she saw them at school as much as she did. She began to miss seeing them around randomly. This feeling went away when she started seeing them around after Cheerleading practice. Ryan would film Bam skating while Dico and Raab did the most random things.

On a random evening after practice, she saw them again, normally she was too tired to say hi but today she decided to go up to them. "It's funny how you're at school more when you aren't supposed to be here" 

"Guess its just better that way" Dico laughed , "Raab climb the tree and get on the roof!" No questions asked Chris climbed the tree and got onto the classroom building. It wasn't a big building but he was high enough to still get hurt if he fell off. "Jump off!"

Instinctively Y/n gasped, "No!" Making them laugh. "Shut up, Y/n. He's a professional. Do it Raab!" Bam yelled to him. Of course he did it.

"God you guys are idiots." She walked over to where he laid groaning. After a few more seconds he stood up with a goofy grin on his face, "You should kiss me ill feel so much better." Y/n rolled her eyes and continued to walk out of the school and back home.

Time went on and Y/n only saw them occasionally. Mostly during the summer at random parties. 'When are you allowed to date idiots?' Raab's words slurred together making Y/n laugh, 'When they stop acting like idiots'

Since she quit cheerleading she stopped seeing them after school. They continued to miss school and only went for a few classes a day and to skate around after hours. When Raab got kicked out of school she stopped seeing them entirely. Even with Bam as her next door neighbor she still never really saw them, too busy with her own life.

~

"Y/n just come with me. April's gonna do my hair." Her mom begged. Not taking no for an answer she grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the house. "It wont take long"

As they walked over Bam and the other stood outside of their house scheming per usual. "Oh hi boys! Nice seeing you! You've all grown up so much. Y/n hang out with them." She gave her a stern look and walked inside the house.

"Is your mom single?" Ryan joked making Y/n smile.

"The real question is, are you single?" Raab wiggled his eyebrows.

"I still can't date you idiots"

They stood there talking about Bam's extravagant plan to ride his skateboard down the hill and into a bush. There was no successful outcome of it but that was the point. Y/n laughed along with them as they showed her the videos they took of them doing some other stunt they did the other day.

"I told you I wouldn't be long, Y/n." Her mom walked out, "Oh, Bam! Your mom told me that she wants you to go to prom. Y/n doesn't have someone to go with so you can go with her!" She cheered. Y/n gave her mom a look and rolled her eyes. "I don't need a date."

Bam’s eyes widened and his cheeks turned a light pink. “I wasn’t planning on going. School events aren’t really my thing.”

"I'll go with Y/n" Raab flashed his smile making her mom smile, "Awe yeah! That'd be so cute."

The night of prom was stressful. April and Y/n’s mom were doing everything they could to get her ready, making sure everything was perfect. Bam Ryan and Dico made sure Raab was ready. Ryan made him wear something nicer than what he wanted to wear.

When she was finally ready, she walked down the stairs and went into the kitchen where everyone was. “Alright, lets go Raab.” After taking so much time to get ready, she was over it. Everyone was amazed at how good she looked. “Let me take a few pictures before you leave!” Her mom ran to grab a camera. After taking a few pictures they left to prom.

The venue was gorgeous, and decorated perfectly. This years prom them was greek gods and goddesses. Y/n and Raab were both dressed accordingly. Fast paced songs played throughout the night, making it enjoyable for both of them. Y/n was of course running for prom queen, so she was nervous the whole night. When the DJ said they would play a few more songs before announcing king and queen, no one expected a slow song. Raab was nervous as ever but still joked, “What? No slow dance.”

“Just remember, I cant date you idiots.” Her arms wrapped around his neck and his hands nervously touched her waist. “I wish you could.” She moved her body closer to his whispering, “I wish I could too.”

“Fuck your dad. I mean not really but who gives a fuck? Im gonna date you, Y/n.” He ranted. She just laughed and continued to slow dance with him.

When the songs were over the winners were finally announced. To no ones surprise Y/n was queen. The king was Carter, a corner for the football team. It was tradition to for them to dance but Carter had a girlfriend, so they made an agreement to just dance with their dates.

Raab brought her home at an acceptable time. It definitely wasn’t the time she needed to be home but it wasn’t as late as it could’ve been. The after party went on later than expected and who were they to go home early.

When Y/n graduated she made plans to stay home for a year or two. Working and doing whatever before she decided, no career plans in mind. Community college was also an option but she was still thinking about it.

Bam Ryan Dico and Raab all made their own plans to keep making videos. It was entertaining for all of them and they were getting attention from it, Bam especially.

While working at the local pizza place, Bam and the others came in. Y/n should’ve known she’d run into a few people working there. “Y’know of all the places I thought you’d be working at, a pizzeria was last on the list.” Ryan laughed

“Ha ha. What can I get started for you?” She stood there in a hat and polo with pizzas on them. They ordered but not before making fun of her uniform. “It’ll be out in ten. Dont disturb the other customers.” Her manager gave her a look and she sighed, “Please.” The fake smile on her face made then laugh even harder. “Assholes.”

When their order was ready she called their number. Raab got up to carry the tray back to the table. “You still look cute, even in that stupid shirt.”

“I-“

“Yeah yeah cant date idiots.” He finished her sentence but she shook her head and lightly laughed, “I was going to say I get off at six, if you wanted to hang out later.”

Y/n walked into the back to restock, leaving him in shock. He made his way back and let the others know.

“Every time you get a chance with her, you blow it.” Ryan smacked he back of his head, “Except prom but even then you didn’t even go through with what you said.”

“Yeah dude, you’re a fuckin’ idiot.” Bam talked with his mouth full.

After her shift she went back home and got ready. If he didn’t show up she’d probably completely give up. Raab hasn’t made a move or even tried no matter how much time she gave him.

The knock on her front door made her stomach turn. ‘Why am I getting nervous its just Raab?’

“Oh Chris! Its so nice to see you! Y/n!” Her mom called her. She made her way down the stairs and to the front door. When he saw her his cheeks turned a light pink and he was at loss of words. Y/n didn’t wear anything special, but whenever he saw her he felt flustered. She waved bye and walked out to his car.

“So- Uh- What did you -Uh want to do?” His stutter made her laugh. It was cute that he was so nervous. “Anything. I just wanted to hang out with you.” Raab pulled out of the driveway and started driving, no destination in mind. The radio played music quietly.

“Yeah?” He nervously laughed. With a shake of her head and a little laugh she answered yes. ‘Do I have to spell it out for him?’

“Chris, I like you. More than friends.” This seemed to be news to him because his eyes widened and he stayed quiet for a few seconds.

“I’ve liked you for a really long time. I would’ve said something sooner if I knew.”

“I thought you were going to after prom, but it never happened.”

“I was but I don’t know. I got nervous I guess.” Raab went through a drive through and got shakes for them. They parked and continued to talk.

“You always said you couldn’t date ‘idiots’” His fingers quoted the word idiots. “I figured if you really wanted date me you’d just talk to my dad” She shrugged sipping her shake.

“Thats all I had to do?! Fuck I really am an idiot.” He laughed

“Its not all your fault but yeah thats all I was waiting for.”

After their date he dropped her back off at her house. He got out and opened the door on her side of the car. “Well I guess ill have to take you out again sometime, huh.” Raab had his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah, I guess you will.” She leaned against the car, “Do I have to spell it out for you this time too?”

He laughed and placed his hand on the side of her face, “No I got it from here.” Raab leaned in and placed his lips gently onto hers. Y/n instantly kissed back wrapping her arms around his neck. His other hand pulled her waist closer to his.

“YEAH RAAB!” Bam and Ryan came out of no where ruining the moment. He pulled away and the guys tackled him. “Bam you’re really fuckin’ annoying.”

“Bye Y/n. I’ll pick you up tomorrow for a real date.” His sudden confidence made her smile, “Bye, Chris. Later morons.” She walked back inside cheesing from ear to ear.

Road Trip

Summary: Y/n and Raab himself are on the way to another one of Bam’s schemes but are interrupted 

Warnings: Swearing, Smut, Unprotected sex

Minors DNI please

A/n: This is my first time writing smut so I'm sorry if its awful. Also I want to apologize for not writing as much. More stuff is on the way! Thank you for the support I appreciate it <3

As the rain hit the window, Y/n watched the droplets race down the glass. It wasn't supposed to be stormy, hell, it wasn't even supposed to rain. She had no choice but to stay inside and wait until it stopped so she and Raab could go meet up with Bam. They weren't given too much information other than, 'Meet us in Atlantic city'. It wasn't a surprise that he planned something last minute and it wasn't really going as planned. "So what're we gonna do, wait it out?" Her eyes moved to Raab who stood behind her, bags in his hand disappointed with the sudden change of plans. "Well, there's nothing else we can do" He shrugged and dropped the luggage onto the ground walking towards the couch to sit down. Agreeing she sat next to him and put on a movie to kill some time while waiting.

Raab and Y/n have lived together for almost a year now. Being roommates was slightly different than spending every second together and even spending the night over at each other's houses. It should've come as no surprise that Raab was pretty messy, but when he left dishes and dirty towels on the bathroom floor she couldn't help but be shocked. Constantly having to tell him to clean up after himself and do his own laundry was annoying but she wouldn't live with anyone else. He was her best friend and no matter how much she wanted to strangle him most of the time Y/n wouldn't have it any other way.

The movie played and the rain died down to only sprinkles. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to leave before it picked back up again. The two rushed to grab their things and got into the car to leave. Raab insisted on driving even though he wasn't the greatest driver. Y/n brought plenty of CDs of her own to play in the car. He always complained when she did this but deep down they both knew he didn't mind her music and would even absently hum or sing it quietly. She rarely would catch him in the act too busy singing and dancing in the passenger seat but when she did she couldn't help but smile to herself. "Nooo not Gwen Stefani!" He groaned. Y/n laughed to herself and continued to play the rest of Spiderwebs before ejecting the CD and putting in another one. The next CD was CKY which Raab was pleased to hear. He nodded his head and sang along.

As they continued to drive the rain picked back up again, annoying but it was drivable. They were making a great time and might even make it around the same time Bam does. It wasn't a race but it was better to be there when he was or else they'd miss out on whatever he had planned for the remainder of the day.

Y/n put in a blank CD with no title or anything, having no idea what it could even be. For all, she knew it could've been more of Raab's music. To her surprise, it was Maroon 5. She opened the glove compartment in front of her hoping to find the track-list so she can skip to the songs she knows. To her luck she did, putting her finger on the next button only once deciding she would let the other songs play. As 'This Love' played the rain began to come down a little too hard for their liking.

"We might have to pull over til it stops 'cause I don't know how much longer I can drive like this" He spoke. Y/n nodded her head in agreement. Raab flicked his signal on and pulled over to the side of the two-lane freeway. He shut it off once he was fully off the road and parked, turning on his hazards so someone would see them. Just in case. The two sat there while the music played. "Well is this fun" Y/n lightly joked earning a smile from Raab, "Dude, this is so fun." They sat there making small talk while the music played.

When their conversation came to an end his heart began to race and his palms became sweaty. Raab was staring at her with admiration. Y/n didn't recognize this look and immediately asked, "What? Is there something on my face?" He laughed and shook his head, "No, you're just so beautiful." His face was hot and his cheeks were pink as he quietly spoke. The sudden boldness surprised both of them. Y/n brushed it off by laughing and looked away from him, "Raab, shut up" He continued to admire her with a goofy grin on his face. "I mean it, Y/n. You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

She looked back at him and smiled, "I think you're pretty too" Now Raab was turning away to hide his blush, even though it was too dark to even see. Before either of them could say anything else a flash of lightning lit up the sky. "Oh fuck" He took the words right out of her mouth. Raab started laughing in amazement completely unfazed by the situation. Y/n wasn't usually scared of lightning but only having a car as their protection didn't sit right with her. "I guess I'm not surprised you find this amusing." He does dumb shit for fun she shouldn't be surprised. Her laugh was a little forced as she tried to make light of the situation.

He nudged her shoulder with his fist gently, "Don't tell me you're scared of a little lightning, Y/n." She folded her arms over her chest and gave him an unpleased look. Raab only laughed and jumped in the back seat. "What are you-"

"Come here" His words were soft as he spoke, motioning for her to sit beside him. She clumsily moved next to him. The small space did not help her case. Raab put his arm around her and pulled her in close. "Just relax. We'll be fine." Y/n placed her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest, ignoring the bright light and rumbling in the sky.

It was too hard to relax even with Raab humming along to the music and rubbing her back. She abruptly sat up, "This isn't working. Let's play a game or something."

"I have a better idea," She waited for him to explain further but he didn't, "Do you trust me?" Y/n nodded her head and shrugged. Slowly he placed his hands on the sides of her face, making sure she was comfortable with his actions. When there was no hesitation in her face, only widened eyes from shock, he leaned forward, his lips hovering over hers. "Is this okay?" Not trusting her voice she nodded her head.

Raab placed his lips on hers. It was unlike any kiss she's ever had, he was a really good kisser. She had never felt like this while kissing someone, her heart fluttered and she felt fireworks. He was feeling no better than her, he's been dreaming of this moment the moment they became friends. Y/n put her hands on his chest as she deepened the kiss. His rhythm was interrupted as she did so but quickly got back into it. Her hands moved to the back of his neck grabbing the ends of his hair. She was desperate to feel more of him. His touch, his lips. He lightly groaned at the tug, moving his hands to her waist. Without stopping he moved her onto his lap. A smirk grew on her face as she felt his need for her. Y/n started to move her hips back and forth.

"Baby" He moaned and her hips stuttered. She was taken back and pulled away. Breathless with flushed cheeks. Their lips inches away from each other again. The smirk on her face returned when she saw Raab with his head leaned back and his eyes closed breathing heavy. Y/n placed a few kisses along his jaw and slowly went down to his neck, making sure to leave at least one light hickey. Deciding to take charge, Raab placed his lips on her again. Rougher this time. His hands slid up and down her back.

His fingertips lightly tugged the ends of her shirt, silently asking for permission. She pulled away just for a second to discard her shirt and bra. While she took off hers, he slid his off quickly. Raab attached his lips to her neck and slowly went down to her now revealing chest, making sure to mark it up. "I need you, Chris. Please." Y/n begged. He could've finished right then and there. Her pleads were like music to his ears. They both took off their pants and underwear, tossing them to the side.

Not wasting any more time he slowly entered her with a groan. When he bottomed out, he stayed still letting her get used to the feeling (and so he didn't finish too quick). Y/n placed her lips onto his for a quick kiss and started to move up and down, Raab's hands helped guide her. He looked so pretty with his head back, eyes tightened and mouth open. Not to mention the string of moans that came from him. She was brought back to reality when he hit the right spot inside her. "Fuck! Right there, Chris!" How could he not give her what she asked for when she sounded so pretty? He continued at a slightly faster pace making sure to hit the same spot over and over again. The feeling of her clenching around him helped reach him closer and closer to his own high. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum."

"Me too" After a few more thrusts she reached her climax, saying his name over and over again which caused him to finish inside of her. They sat there for a while catching their breath, her head on his shoulder with her arms wrapped around him. When they finally did, he pulled out and reached over to the closest article of clothing in reach to clean her up with. As they changed back into their clothes, the CD had played every song and was replaying the album. The silence wasn't as awkward with the music playing. The thunder and lightning stopped and the rain was light once again. "Guess I can drive again now" Raab laughed. "Yeah I guess so" She replied with a smile. They jumped back into the front of the first place car, checking their appearance in the mirror and putting themselves back together.

As she touched up her makeup he admired her, wondering why she even bothered with makeup she definitely didn't need it. Without turning her head she noticed him looking at her. "You're staring again" Y/n smiled and put the mirror back up. "I can't help it." Raab lovingly stared at her. In a quick motion, she put both of her hands on the sides of his face and kissed him. "Now c'mon we have to get there asap." He started the car and started to drive again.

After a few hours of driving, they reached their hotel in Atlantic City. Because they were so behind on driving they got there late, missing whatever Bam had planned for that evening. They both got ready for bed and laid on their separate beds.

 "Chris?" Her voice was soft not wanting to wake him if he was already asleep. He hummed as a response, obviously half awake. "Can I sleep next to you?" Raab started to laugh, "C'mere" She got up and made her way to the other side of his bed. He turned to face her, a goofy grin on his face. Y/n knew him well enough to know he was gonna say something stupid. To avoid this she gave him a quick peck on the lips, "Shut up."

He laughed and sighed, "I love you, Y/n"

"I love you too, Chris." He laid on his back pulling her into his chest and falling asleep shortly after. 

Road Trip

Summary: Y/n and Raab himself are on the way to another one of Bam’s schemes but are interrupted 

Warnings: Swearing, Smut, Unprotected sex

Minors DNI please

A/n: This is my first time writing smut so I'm sorry if its awful. Also I want to apologize for not writing as much. More stuff is on the way! Thank you for the support I appreciate it <3

As the rain hit the window, Y/n watched the droplets race down the glass. It wasn't supposed to be stormy, hell, it wasn't even supposed to rain. She had no choice but to stay inside and wait until it stopped so she and Raab could go meet up with Bam. They weren't given too much information other than, 'Meet us in Atlantic city'. It wasn't a surprise that he planned something last minute and it wasn't really going as planned. "So what're we gonna do, wait it out?" Her eyes moved to Raab who stood behind her, bags in his hand disappointed with the sudden change of plans. "Well, there's nothing else we can do" He shrugged and dropped the luggage onto the ground walking towards the couch to sit down. Agreeing she sat next to him and put on a movie to kill some time while waiting.

Raab and Y/n have lived together for almost a year now. Being roommates was slightly different than spending every second together and even spending the night over at each other's houses. It should've come as no surprise that Raab was pretty messy, but when he left dishes and dirty towels on the bathroom floor she couldn't help but be shocked. Constantly having to tell him to clean up after himself and do his own laundry was annoying but she wouldn't live with anyone else. He was her best friend and no matter how much she wanted to strangle him most of the time Y/n wouldn't have it any other way.

The movie played and the rain died down to only sprinkles. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to leave before it picked back up again. The two rushed to grab their things and got into the car to leave. Raab insisted on driving even though he wasn't the greatest driver. Y/n brought plenty of CDs of her own to play in the car. He always complained when she did this but deep down they both knew he didn't mind her music and would even absently hum or sing it quietly. She rarely would catch him in the act too busy singing and dancing in the passenger seat but when she did she couldn't help but smile to herself. "Nooo not Gwen Stefani!" He groaned. Y/n laughed to herself and continued to play the rest of Spiderwebs before ejecting the CD and putting in another one. The next CD was CKY which Raab was pleased to hear. He nodded his head and sang along.

As they continued to drive the rain picked back up again, annoying but it was drivable. They were making a great time and might even make it around the same time Bam does. It wasn't a race but it was better to be there when he was or else they'd miss out on whatever he had planned for the remainder of the day.

Y/n put in a blank CD with no title or anything, having no idea what it could even be. For all, she knew it could've been more of Raab's music. To her surprise, it was Maroon 5. She opened the glove compartment in front of her hoping to find the track-list so she can skip to the songs she knows. To her luck she did, putting her finger on the next button only once deciding she would let the other songs play. As 'This Love' played the rain began to come down a little too hard for their liking.

"We might have to pull over til it stops 'cause I don't know how much longer I can drive like this" He spoke. Y/n nodded her head in agreement. Raab flicked his signal on and pulled over to the side of the two-lane freeway. He shut it off once he was fully off the road and parked, turning on his hazards so someone would see them. Just in case. The two sat there while the music played. "Well is this fun" Y/n lightly joked earning a smile from Raab, "Dude, this is so fun." They sat there making small talk while the music played.

When their conversation came to an end his heart began to race and his palms became sweaty. Raab was staring at her with admiration. Y/n didn't recognize this look and immediately asked, "What? Is there something on my face?" He laughed and shook his head, "No, you're just so beautiful." His face was hot and his cheeks were pink as he quietly spoke. The sudden boldness surprised both of them. Y/n brushed it off by laughing and looked away from him, "Raab, shut up" He continued to admire her with a goofy grin on his face. "I mean it, Y/n. You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

She looked back at him and smiled, "I think you're pretty too" Now Raab was turning away to hide his blush, even though it was too dark to even see. Before either of them could say anything else a flash of lightning lit up the sky. "Oh fuck" He took the words right out of her mouth. Raab started laughing in amazement completely unfazed by the situation. Y/n wasn't usually scared of lightning but only having a car as their protection didn't sit right with her. "I guess I'm not surprised you find this amusing." He does dumb shit for fun she shouldn't be surprised. Her laugh was a little forced as she tried to make light of the situation.

He nudged her shoulder with his fist gently, "Don't tell me you're scared of a little lightning, Y/n." She folded her arms over her chest and gave him an unpleased look. Raab only laughed and jumped in the back seat. "What are you-"

"Come here" His words were soft as he spoke, motioning for her to sit beside him. She clumsily moved next to him. The small space did not help her case. Raab put his arm around her and pulled her in close. "Just relax. We'll be fine." Y/n placed her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest, ignoring the bright light and rumbling in the sky.

It was too hard to relax even with Raab humming along to the music and rubbing her back. She abruptly sat up, "This isn't working. Let's play a game or something."

"I have a better idea," She waited for him to explain further but he didn't, "Do you trust me?" Y/n nodded her head and shrugged. Slowly he placed his hands on the sides of her face, making sure she was comfortable with his actions. When there was no hesitation in her face, only widened eyes from shock, he leaned forward, his lips hovering over hers. "Is this okay?" Not trusting her voice she nodded her head.

Raab placed his lips on hers. It was unlike any kiss she's ever had, he was a really good kisser. She had never felt like this while kissing someone, her heart fluttered and she felt fireworks. He was feeling no better than her, he's been dreaming of this moment the moment they became friends. Y/n put her hands on his chest as she deepened the kiss. His rhythm was interrupted as she did so but quickly got back into it. Her hands moved to the back of his neck grabbing the ends of his hair. She was desperate to feel more of him. His touch, his lips. He lightly groaned at the tug, moving his hands to her waist. Without stopping he moved her onto his lap. A smirk grew on her face as she felt his need for her. Y/n started to move her hips back and forth.

"Baby" He moaned and her hips stuttered. She was taken back and pulled away. Breathless with flushed cheeks. Their lips inches away from each other again. The smirk on her face returned when she saw Raab with his head leaned back and his eyes closed breathing heavy. Y/n placed a few kisses along his jaw and slowly went down to his neck, making sure to leave at least one light hickey. Deciding to take charge, Raab placed his lips on her again. Rougher this time. His hands slid up and down her back.

His fingertips lightly tugged the ends of her shirt, silently asking for permission. She pulled away just for a second to discard her shirt and bra. While she took off hers, he slid his off quickly. Raab attached his lips to her neck and slowly went down to her now revealing chest, making sure to mark it up. "I need you, Chris. Please." Y/n begged. He could've finished right then and there. Her pleads were like music to his ears. They both took off their pants and underwear, tossing them to the side.

Not wasting any more time he slowly entered her with a groan. When he bottomed out, he stayed still letting her get used to the feeling (and so he didn't finish too quick). Y/n placed her lips onto his for a quick kiss and started to move up and down, Raab's hands helped guide her. He looked so pretty with his head back, eyes tightened and mouth open. Not to mention the string of moans that came from him. She was brought back to reality when he hit the right spot inside her. "Fuck! Right there, Chris!" How could he not give her what she asked for when she sounded so pretty? He continued at a slightly faster pace making sure to hit the same spot over and over again. The feeling of her clenching around him helped reach him closer and closer to his own high. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum."

"Me too" After a few more thrusts she reached her climax, saying his name over and over again which caused him to finish inside of her. They sat there for a while catching their breath, her head on his shoulder with her arms wrapped around him. When they finally did, he pulled out and reached over to the closest article of clothing in reach to clean her up with. As they changed back into their clothes, the CD had played every song and was replaying the album. The silence wasn't as awkward with the music playing. The thunder and lightning stopped and the rain was light once again. "Guess I can drive again now" Raab laughed. "Yeah I guess so" She replied with a smile. They jumped back into the front of the first place car, checking their appearance in the mirror and putting themselves back together.

As she touched up her makeup he admired her, wondering why she even bothered with makeup she definitely didn't need it. Without turning her head she noticed him looking at her. "You're staring again" Y/n smiled and put the mirror back up. "I can't help it." Raab lovingly stared at her. In a quick motion, she put both of her hands on the sides of his face and kissed him. "Now c'mon we have to get there asap." He started the car and started to drive again.

After a few hours of driving, they reached their hotel in Atlantic City. Because they were so behind on driving they got there late, missing whatever Bam had planned for that evening. They both got ready for bed and laid on their separate beds.

 "Chris?" Her voice was soft not wanting to wake him if he was already asleep. He hummed as a response, obviously half awake. "Can I sleep next to you?" Raab started to laugh, "C'mere" She got up and made her way to the other side of his bed. He turned to face her, a goofy grin on his face. Y/n knew him well enough to know he was gonna say something stupid. To avoid this she gave him a quick peck on the lips, "Shut up."

He laughed and sighed, "I love you, Y/n"

"I love you too, Chris." He laid on his back pulling her into his chest and falling asleep shortly after. 

Cky Gets Jobs

warnings: Swearing

Summary: Raab and Dico work at a retail store for the day.

Work was going by as slow as ever. Not too many customers were in the store and the clothes were as neat as possible. There was nothing to do besides walk around and greet anyone who walked by and to touch up whats already been fixed a thousand times.

Y/n walked toward the cash register dragging their feet. “Its only been two hours!” Their coworker laughed and hung up a few hangers on the rack behind them “At least your break is right now I still have another hour”

“That’s true” They said before wandering to the break room. For the next fifteen minutes Y/n sat down and read a magazine, drinking from their cup of water every so often. It was a enjoyable break.

When they got back there was commotion in the store. Two guys were talking and laughing loudly with the manager. Y/n only caught every other word because they were still too far away. It sounded like they wanted a job.

“Y/n!” The manager called them over. Slightly embarrassed they walked up to them and asked what was going on. Of course recognizing them almost immediately. The manager explained that these guys were gonna work for a day or two for the show they were on and they needed extra cash for the heating bill. Y/n stood there wondering why this involved them and quickly found out when they were told to “show them the ropes”

“Im Dico” He stuck out his hand. “Y/n” They replied shaking his hand.

“I’m Raab” He awkwardly waved. Dico looked down and shook his head before asked what they’re supposed to do first.

“I guess just help me fix any hangars and put these clothes on the racks away” It was what was normally done and they definitely needed the extra hands.

The manager went back to the back room to do some paperwork and thats when the boys started acting out. Raab ran around the entire store running his fingers through the clothes, dropping some every few steps. Dico would sneak up behind customers and talk loudly into their ear startling them.

“Oh my God! Can you guys act like normal people?!” Y/n was freaked out because they knew they’d have to pick up the mess.

“No” Raab said simply before running around the store again like a kid.

When the racks were finished and the clothes were all hung up neatly, the manager asked Dico if he could help move some crates in the back. His eyes widened slightly and he nodded his head. Raab followed them into the back to watch.

Dico was introduced to the little machine that moved the crates of clothes and he immediately fell in love with it. His mind starting racing and he thought of about a million hilarious things to do with this machine.

“Alright! Ya think you can handle that?” The manager asked him. Apparently he had explained what to do but Dico and Raab didnt listen to a single thing that was said.

“Yeah absolutely” Dico answered. With that the manager walked away and left him to it.

“Raab stand on one of the legs and ill lift you up” He talked quietly. Raab held in his laugh and did it. Dico put the key in the machine and turned it on. It was pretty simple to use the lift could only go in two directions. Dico moved the stick up and Raab started to go in the air. “Holy shit!”

They both took turns using the lifter and messing around with it. As they played with it Dico got the genius idea to take it out to the front of the store with Raab sitting on one of the legs.

As he drove it to the front and through the backdoors surprisingly unsuspected, he raised Raab higher. Customers looked at them in total shock. When Y/n and their coworker noticed their jaws were on the floor. Raab sat there waving like a princess on a float driving through a parade. His smile was wide and he looked like he was enjoying every second of this.

Everything was going great until the manager walked out and saw it all, plus the camera footage from earlier. “Get the fuck out of here!” It was so rare to see them so mad but It was completely valid.

Before getting thrown out Dico walked over to Y/ n handing them a small piece of paper, “Hope I didnt scare you off. Call me sometime”

And of course, Y/n did.

Cky Gets Jobs

warnings: Swearing

Summary: Raab and Dico work at a retail store for the day.

Work was going by as slow as ever. Not too many customers were in the store and the clothes were as neat as possible. There was nothing to do besides walk around and greet anyone who walked by and to touch up whats already been fixed a thousand times.

Y/n walked toward the cash register dragging their feet. “Its only been two hours!” Their coworker laughed and hung up a few hangers on the rack behind them “At least your break is right now I still have another hour”

“That’s true” They said before wandering to the break room. For the next fifteen minutes Y/n sat down and read a magazine, drinking from their cup of water every so often. It was a enjoyable break.

When they got back there was commotion in the store. Two guys were talking and laughing loudly with the manager. Y/n only caught every other word because they were still too far away. It sounded like they wanted a job.

“Y/n!” The manager called them over. Slightly embarrassed they walked up to them and asked what was going on. Of course recognizing them almost immediately. The manager explained that these guys were gonna work for a day or two for the show they were on and they needed extra cash for the heating bill. Y/n stood there wondering why this involved them and quickly found out when they were told to “show them the ropes”

“Im Dico” He stuck out his hand. “Y/n” They replied shaking his hand.

“I’m Raab” He awkwardly waved. Dico looked down and shook his head before asked what they’re supposed to do first.

“I guess just help me fix any hangars and put these clothes on the racks away” It was what was normally done and they definitely needed the extra hands.

The manager went back to the back room to do some paperwork and thats when the boys started acting out. Raab ran around the entire store running his fingers through the clothes, dropping some every few steps. Dico would sneak up behind customers and talk loudly into their ear startling them.

“Oh my God! Can you guys act like normal people?!” Y/n was freaked out because they knew they’d have to pick up the mess.

“No” Raab said simply before running around the store again like a kid.

When the racks were finished and the clothes were all hung up neatly, the manager asked Dico if he could help move some crates in the back. His eyes widened slightly and he nodded his head. Raab followed them into the back to watch.

Dico was introduced to the little machine that moved the crates of clothes and he immediately fell in love with it. His mind starting racing and he thought of about a million hilarious things to do with this machine.

“Alright! Ya think you can handle that?” The manager asked him. Apparently he had explained what to do but Dico and Raab didnt listen to a single thing that was said.

“Yeah absolutely” Dico answered. With that the manager walked away and left him to it.

“Raab stand on one of the legs and ill lift you up” He talked quietly. Raab held in his laugh and did it. Dico put the key in the machine and turned it on. It was pretty simple to use the lift could only go in two directions. Dico moved the stick up and Raab started to go in the air. “Holy shit!”

They both took turns using the lifter and messing around with it. As they played with it Dico got the genius idea to take it out to the front of the store with Raab sitting on one of the legs.

As he drove it to the front and through the backdoors surprisingly unsuspected, he raised Raab higher. Customers looked at them in total shock. When Y/n and their coworker noticed their jaws were on the floor. Raab sat there waving like a princess on a float driving through a parade. His smile was wide and he looked like he was enjoying every second of this.

Everything was going great until the manager walked out and saw it all, plus the camera footage from earlier. “Get the fuck out of here!” It was so rare to see them so mad but It was completely valid.

Before getting thrown out Dico walked over to Y/ n handing them a small piece of paper, “Hope I didnt scare you off. Call me sometime”

And of course, Y/n did.

Cky Gets Jobs

warnings: Swearing

Summary: Raab and Dico work at a retail store for the day.

Work was going by as slow as ever. Not too many customers were in the store and the clothes were as neat as possible. There was nothing to do besides walk around and greet anyone who walked by and to touch up whats already been fixed a thousand times.

Y/n walked toward the cash register dragging their feet. “Its only been two hours!” Their coworker laughed and hung up a few hangers on the rack behind them “At least your break is right now I still have another hour”

“That’s true” They said before wandering to the break room. For the next fifteen minutes Y/n sat down and read a magazine, drinking from their cup of water every so often. It was a enjoyable break.

When they got back there was commotion in the store. Two guys were talking and laughing loudly with the manager. Y/n only caught every other word because they were still too far away. It sounded like they wanted a job.

“Y/n!” The manager called them over. Slightly embarrassed they walked up to them and asked what was going on. Of course recognizing them almost immediately. The manager explained that these guys were gonna work for a day or two for the show they were on and they needed extra cash for the heating bill. Y/n stood there wondering why this involved them and quickly found out when they were told to “show them the ropes”

“Im Dico” He stuck out his hand. “Y/n” They replied shaking his hand.

“I’m Raab” He awkwardly waved. Dico looked down and shook his head before asked what they’re supposed to do first.

“I guess just help me fix any hangars and put these clothes on the racks away” It was what was normally done and they definitely needed the extra hands.

The manager went back to the back room to do some paperwork and thats when the boys started acting out. Raab ran around the entire store running his fingers through the clothes, dropping some every few steps. Dico would sneak up behind customers and talk loudly into their ear startling them.

“Oh my God! Can you guys act like normal people?!” Y/n was freaked out because they knew they’d have to pick up the mess.

“No” Raab said simply before running around the store again like a kid.

When the racks were finished and the clothes were all hung up neatly, the manager asked Dico if he could help move some crates in the back. His eyes widened slightly and he nodded his head. Raab followed them into the back to watch.

Dico was introduced to the little machine that moved the crates of clothes and he immediately fell in love with it. His mind starting racing and he thought of about a million hilarious things to do with this machine.

“Alright! Ya think you can handle that?” The manager asked him. Apparently he had explained what to do but Dico and Raab didnt listen to a single thing that was said.

“Yeah absolutely” Dico answered. With that the manager walked away and left him to it.

“Raab stand on one of the legs and ill lift you up” He talked quietly. Raab held in his laugh and did it. Dico put the key in the machine and turned it on. It was pretty simple to use the lift could only go in two directions. Dico moved the stick up and Raab started to go in the air. “Holy shit!”

They both took turns using the lifter and messing around with it. As they played with it Dico got the genius idea to take it out to the front of the store with Raab sitting on one of the legs.

As he drove it to the front and through the backdoors surprisingly unsuspected, he raised Raab higher. Customers looked at them in total shock. When Y/n and their coworker noticed their jaws were on the floor. Raab sat there waving like a princess on a float driving through a parade. His smile was wide and he looked like he was enjoying every second of this.

Everything was going great until the manager walked out and saw it all, plus the camera footage from earlier. “Get the fuck out of here!” It was so rare to see them so mad but It was completely valid.

Before getting thrown out Dico walked over to Y/ n handing them a small piece of paper, “Hope I didnt scare you off. Call me sometime”

And of course, Y/n did.

hiiii im lex!

trans man, he/they, secretly married to chad ginsburg

jackass, cky, viva la bam, bloodhound gang, primus shitposter🫡

met cky sept 13th 2024 <3

YOU FUCKED UP IN 93’ YOU FUCKING POISON COCK SUCKER!!!

i need a boyfriend that’s just a total dumbass, like jackass/cky kind of dumbass. WHERE ARE YALL HIDING!?!?! COME OUT PLS??!?

guys i love dico so much HELP ME

Sometimes, Dico didn’t feel like being funny.

Sometimes, he’d show up at your front door at nine o’clock at night, wearing a baseball cap and that stupid leather jacket he refused to stop wearing no matter how often Bam and the others made fun of him for it. He wouldn’t smile or say hello when you opened the door. He’d just ask if you were busy. And of course you’d say no. Even if you’d had plans. Because those plans were nothing compared to doing what Dico wanted.

Sometimes, Dico would want you to come and sit in his car with him for a while, just to talk. You would. It wasn’t really a conversation. Dico would just talk at you, and you would sit quietly and listen. One thing was very clear: Dico didn’t get to talk about himself or his feelings all that much. Dico was the funny friend. Dico was the comic relief. Dico was the smartass. As far as the others knew, Dico never got hurt. So you let him talk, and you listened. He didn’t have anyone else.

Sometimes, when he was done talking, he’d go home. That was the end of the night. Maybe he was too tired to do anything else with you, or maybe his guilty conscious had won the battle that day and he’d decided against asking you for anything else. You were always a little let down, but you never complained. If anything, there was something reassuring about the fact that he didn’t always want to go any further. Like a sort of confirmation that you weren’t just a place for him to park his dick a few times a week. Like you were his friend. Even though you weren’t, and you knew you weren’t. Friendships weren’t like this.

Sometimes, more often than not, Dico wouldn’t go home when he finished talking. He’d just sit there for a while, the two of you staring at each other in silence and building tension that could be cut with a knife from how thick it was. And then he’d lean forward, and he’d kiss you, and you’d kiss back because there wasn’t really anything else to do. His kisses were firm, intentional, and a little rough, but they somehow felt weak. Like he wasn’t really there, or like he was pretending you were someone else, even though you knew he wasn’t. Dico didn’t like anyone else the way he liked you, although that wasn’t saying much.

Sometimes, he’d only kiss you as long as he needed to, kiss you until he felt like he’d done it enough to satisfy whatever quota he had in his head. Maybe he thought if he kissed you for ten minutes, it wouldn’t seem so sleazy when he took his dick out. Other times, all he wanted to do was kiss. He’d keep going, keep pressing his lips against yours even when you were ready to move on to something else, like he was trying to delay the rest of the encounter for as long as he could. Like he wasn’t looking forward to it. Dico was odd in that way. He didn’t seem to know what he wanted. He just did whatever his brain told him.

Sometimes, once Dico had kissed you long enough, he’d fumble with his zipper in silence, quietly pulling his cock out and letting you take over from there. You knew what to do at this point; you knew his body like the back of your hand. Other times, though, he wasn’t quite as blunt. Not so cold. He’d gently guide your hand down to rest in his lap as he kissed you, letting you take your time with the zipper and the button and then with sticking your hands down his boxers, fingers gently brushing over the soft, warm skin down below. He never made much noise either way, but in his softer moments, he’d let a moan slip. The slightest hint of vulnerability.

Sometimes, your hand wasn’t quite what Dico wanted, and he’d pull away and gently push your head down, not wanting to be forceful but also not beating around the bush. He wanted your mouth on his cock, it was simple as that. You’d wrap your mouth around the head, feeling the slightest hint of satisfaction when his head would fall back against the window of the car and he’d tangle his fingers in your hair. He was always a little too rough, like he didn’t quite understand what was too much for your mouth to take. He’d shove your head all the way down, the tip of his cock brushing the back of your throat until your eyes watered. He didn’t seem to notice unless you actually gagged, in which case he’d let up a little in a gesture that seemed almost apologetic.

Sometimes, he’d cum without warning, shooting his load down your throat and then immediately pulling your head off his cock without so much as a sound. Other times, it came on slowly, your mouth slowly pushing him to the edge until he moaned under his breath and pushed your head all the way down, letting you swallow his cum and then loosening his grip on your hair so you could pull off. You’d lay your head on his thigh, catching your breath, and you’d feel the tips of his fingers just barely touching your hair, like he wanted to pet you but couldn’t bring himself to do it. You’d never say anything about it. You’d just sit there in silence with him, enjoying the feeling of his skin against your cheek and the sound of his breath.

Sometimes, that was it. Dico would say goodbye, and you’d get out of the car, and he’d drive away, and you’d go back inside and try not to think about it for the rest of the day. But sometimes there was a little more. Sometimes he’d wanna talk just a little bit longer, kiss just a little bit more. He wouldn’t smile, or laugh, or anything like that, but you could tell he was content. Sometimes he’d tell you that you were the only person he felt like he could talk to, or that you were beautiful, or that you were the only person who didn’t get on his nerves. Sometimes he’d even give you a present. Nothing big, just a mixtape he’d made or a random novelty toy he’d found at a store that reminded him of you. Something small. But nice.

That was where the ‘sometimes’ stopped. Dico always left after he gave you the present. He’d hand it to you, not replying when you said thank you, and he’d say goodbye. He always looked like he wanted to say something else. He never did. He just looked at you, and then he drove off, and you’d stand there in the driveway and watch him go, still holding whatever little gift he’d given you as tightly as if you thought it was going to take off like Dico had. You’d stand there until his car was a little dot in the distance, and then you’d go inside and sit there and stare at the present and wonder why he was like that. Why he laughed and made jokes and goofed off with his friends and then never once laughed when he was with you, just talked and kissed you and sometimes did a little bit more. But of course, you already knew the answer. Sometimes, Dico didn’t want to be funny.

i can just imagine you and dico as like the one couple that are so close with each other they’ve just morphed into the same person. like you guys do everything together, eat off the same plate, sit entwined with each other when you’re watching movies, showering together (not strictly in a sexual way) and even holding his dick while he pees or just sitting on the counter while he does so, rarely ever apart. you’re so comfortable with your relationship it starts to kind of annoy the others, banging on walls when the two of you are fucking in castle bam, exclaims of “that’s disgusting!” when you’re picking at his face and just a show of rolling eyes and exaggerated gags when you just start making out at random moments. sometimes you’d hear people you didn’t know too well asking dico why he’s always around you and why he’s so set on being with you, that he’s young and pretty famous and should fuck as many girls as he can but he’d shut that shit down immediately. he’d say there’s no one else in the world he’d rather be with and for the speaker to politely fuck off. you were even worse drunk, sappy and all over each other. dico even secretly tried to propose to you one night, whispering that he wants to be with you forever but you told him to ask you sober, even without a ring it’s pretty set in stone that you’re gonna be his wife one day. after all you two are basically the same person, in sickness and in health.

Hotel Room [Brandon DiCamillo Drabble]

thinking about travelling somewhere with the CKY crew and staying in some filthy hotel rooms and having to share a bed with dico and ryan

“God fucking damn it Raab what the fuck did you spill on the bed?!” You touched the stained sheets but then immediately recoiled after thinking about what it could possibly be.

“He pissed the bed when he was fucking loaded.” Bam laughs, clutching his chest as he snorts. You looked at Chris with disgust but he shakes his head quickly.

“No I fucking didn’t! Rake spilled a beer earlier.” You roll your eyes.

“Well I can’t fucking sleep under there and I’m god damn exhausted, I don’t want sticky ass sheets to touch me I’m not drunk enough for that.” Dunn finished his beer and crushed it on his head before replying.

“Just go into mine and Dico’s room and sleep there, he’s probably already passed out.” You stood at the foot of your gross bed, contemplating for a moment before huffing and grabbing some stuff and heading out of the trashed hotel room.

“The one time I’m supposed to have my own damn bed.” You muttered under your breath before banging on the door of Dico and Ryan’s hotel room that was across the hall from your’s Bam’s and Raab’s. Rake and the rest of the crew were in a third room down the hall. A disgruntled Dico opened the door, in just his boxers and his hair all messed up.

“The fuck do you want?” He mumbled, clearly annoyed at your interruption. You pushed past him into the room.

“Nice to see you too Dico! I’m sleeping in here, it’s fucking mingling in the other room.” You threw your stuff on Ryan’s bed before seeing that his bed was probably more disgusting than yours.

“God what the fuck is all that? Did he eat chicken wings in his bed?!” Dico laughed and rubbed his eyes.

“Good luck sleeping on that.” You shot him a concerned look that turned to pleading. He sighed when he noticed this.

“Fine you can sleep in mine.” You smiled and hugged him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. Dico brushed you off and climbed back into his bed, moving over to leave you space. You began undoing your jeans.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He tried covering his eyes with his hands but was not really trying all that hard.

“I’m not sleeping in denim jeans? And I didn’t pack pyjamas so you’re in luck.” Dico didn’t look impressed, in fact he looked kind of worried.

“Are you trying to give me a boner or something.” He muttered, thinking you wouldn’t hear. You smirked at him as you kicked your pants off, leaving you in your panties that did not cover your ass too well.

“I’ll leave my shirt on to save your dignity DiCamillo.” He rolled his eyes as you clambered into bed with him. He moved over to the point he was almost falling off the edge. You huffed,

“Brandon I’m not diseased.” You pulled him up and turned so your back was against him, pulling his arm over your waist so you could half-spoon, just to lie comfortably of course. You didn’t push your ass against his crotch like how you sort of wanted to, figured that might be too far. You could almost feel that Dico’s eyes were burning into your neck, he didn’t feel relaxed at all. Probably fighting every urge to not get a hard on in this moment. After some time you needed to change positions, opting to turning around and draping you leg across Dico’s, leaning your head into his neck.

“You’re killing me Y/n.” Dico whispered making you laugh.

“Keep your horniness to yourself I’m too tired.” That answer surprised him, definitely wasn’t a yes but wasn’t necessarily a never. He grinned to himself contently but was still wholly uncomfortable with the whole ‘don’t get hard’ thing.

A while had passed and the two of you were still cuddling, teetering on the edge of sleep when a drunken Ryan unlocked the door and barged into the room. He landed face first on his bed but immediately groaned when he felt a sticky sauce under him.

“For fuck’s sake.” He lifted himself off the bed and went over to throw himself on top of you. You groaned and pushed him off.

“There’s not enough room in here for you!” You whined but Ryan just shook his head.

“Well I’m not sleeping on that floor, I’m joining you two love birds.” You waved your arms at him,

“Not in jeans you are.”

“Yeah Y/n wants everyone naked.” Ryan’s eyes widened when he pulled the sheets back to see the two of you in your underwear.

“Guess I’m joining the party.” Ryan unbuckled his pants and tore his shirt off before stumbling into bed with the pair of yous. You had to turn over so you were spooning Dico and lying slightly on Ryan, there was no way the three of you would all fit otherwise. Unfortunately due to the confined space your ass was properly pressed against DiCamillo’s crotch now and the outline of his dick became a prominent feeling. You gulped as you felt Dico clear his throat and shift uncomfortably, trying to prevent the inevitable. It didn’t help that Ryan moved like a motherfucker when he tried to sleep, meaning you now moved and shifted against Dico. Over a short period of time you felt him become hard until he was bright red in the face.

“I need to piss.” He grumbled, removing himself from behind you and pacing quickly to the bathroom. He shut and locked the door as you began to snicker.

“He’s going in there to jerk off isn’t he?” Dunn whispered making you laugh into your hand.

End.

@jackussy420 @gnarkillknoxville @lovexjoe @ckygetsjobs @spoookyberry

i’m slowly becoming a cky/jackass boys fan account tbh (and i don’t mind)

Tonight, Tonight [Brandon DiCamillo x Reader]

Desc: Dico always cheers you up when you’re sad.

A/n: quick one ! just stupid fluff based off tonight, tonight by smashing pumpkins (: reader is gn

Warnings: alcohol

1k words

✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪

You rolled over in your bed and groaned, you didn’t want to get out but you knew how shit you’d feel if you didn’t. It was 10pm and you hadn’t budged all day after your friends bailed on you for the millionth time and you were starting to wonder if you were the problem. You fumbled in your sheets to get your phone, you knew who to call.

“Hey.” Dico’s voice sounded through your ears as you lay in fetal position under your covers. “Hey.” You muttered. “Are you free?” You waited for a response. “I just got off work so, yeah. What do you wanna do?” You sighed, “Absolutely nothing, come pick me up.” The boy laughed on the other line. “I’ll be over in five.” You shut your phone and clambered out of the nest you had created to make yourself look somewhat presentable for the outside world.

Your relationship with Dico was different than with the other guys and your girlfriends. Yeah you were close with them all, but you were closest to him. You knew you could always call him to cheer you up and vice versa. He knew every problem you had and was always a shoulder to cry on and you liked to believe you were the same for him. People always joked that you were like a married old couple and everyone was suspicious that you were secretly dating but that wasn’t the case. Sure he was cute and you basically did everything anyone in a relationship would do, apart from sex of course, but you never really viewed him that way. Maybe because you didn’t want to open that can of worms.

Almost exactly five minutes later, you heard a car horn outside your house, how polite! You grabbed your scuffed up shoes and ran out the door towards Dico’s beat up car, letting yourself into the passenger side as some Smashing Pumpkins CD played. You hugged him awkwardly as you entered. “Where are we off to?” Dico asked, hands positioned on his wheel. “Anywhere that’s not here.” Brandon smiled and nodded, setting off for god knows where. You were silent for a moment before Dico questioned your unhappy manner, “Who pissed in your corn flakes?” You scoffed at his stupid idiom. “Sorry, my friends just blew me off again and it’s starting to feel personal.” You scratched the back of your neck and looked out the window to avoid eye contact. Sure you had spilled your guts to the guy on your left countless times but it usually took some warming up for the venting to commence. “Why personal?” You could see him flick looks of concern at you from the corner of your eye as he continued driving. You shrugged, “Like maybe I did something or I started to annoy them and now they don’t want to hang out with me anymore.” Dico shook his head. “That’s fucking stupid.” You turned your head, “What do you mean?” He shook his head more, “Who wouldn’t want to hang out with you? It’s probably not personal at all, I doubt they even realised it’s become a pattern, they’d be crazy to find you annoying.” You smiled flatly and rested your hand against Dico’s arm. “Thanks Bran, always the voice of reason, kind of wish I had a little longer to wallow in self pity though.” You laughed and so did he, though he began to stiffen up a little in response to your touch.

Brandon pulled in to an old parking lot the crew used to skate at when you were kids. You all skated less and less once Bam became a proper pro, kind of felt childish and pointless to try when compared to him but you still had late night skates every now and again. You drummed your fingers against the dashboard once Dico parked before he turned to you. “Guess what I have.” It was a rhetorical question because he immediately leaned over his seat to the back and reached for a bag. In it, a bottle of white wine was revealed. You laughed and clapped your hands together. “Oh how I love you.” Dico had repeatedly called wine a ‘girly drink’ and would refuse to try any whenever you had some until one day he caved and the two of you had the best drunk you had ever experienced in your lives. ‘It’s like my whole body is tingling! This is amazing!” He’d giggle and you’d laugh. Now it became a sort of tradition as long as you swore not to tell the guys about your ‘girly’ endeavours.

Dico cracked it open and took the first swig, handing it to you afterwards. “Ah, just the perfect amount of vinegary!” Dico laughed, “Five dollar’s finest.” You smiled and looked at him adoringly. “Thank you for all this.” Dico furrowed his brows, urging you to explain. “You always make me feel so much better when I’m in a shit mood.” Brandon shared your smile then. “Of course, it’s what friends do.” You shook your head, “Nah.” You looked at him properly then, taking in his handsome face. “You’re better than a friend.”

You weren’t sure if it was the way his face softened at that sentence, or the little bit of wine in your system or just the love you felt bubbling inside you but you leaned in and planted your lips on his. You weren’t even thinking when you did it, it just felt natural, like every atom in your body was waiting for you to do it. Almost immediately he kissed back, your lips moving in synchronisation. It took you a second to understand what you had done and once you did you pulled away. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know-“ You stuttered but Dico shut you up at once, hand on your cheek as you touched lips once more. You stayed like that for some time, kissing as the music played in the background until you pulled away simultaneously. Both of you shared a grin, wine bottle still in hand. You took a swig and wiped your mouth. “Wasn’t really expecting that to happen tonight.” Bran laughed, “What? Figured it would be more slow burn than that, maybe two, three years down the line?” You laughed and shoved your hands in your face, nodding stupidly. You bit your lip and brought your head back up to face him. “Something like that.” You replied before leaning in again to feel his lips once more.

End.

@jackussy420 @gnarkillknoxville @lovexjoe @ckygetsjobs @spoookyberry

giggling at a jared leto tweet from 2010

i don’t even understand tbh 💀

ANYTHING 

gonna be up all night

that second clip will end me

dico and the red bucket