Cave Johnson - Tumblr Posts
My 1000th post! And it’s Portal 2 the Unauthorized Musical Fanart!
Finished up that sketch from before. Davin and Fairlith, I cannot get over how cute you two are, it’s KILLING me. So anyway I’m a huge fucking nerd enjoy your Caveline.
If Cave Johnson were a Buzzfeed quiz he would be “Pick your favorite suit and tie combos and we’ll tell you what OSHA violation you’d be”
oh god i havent posted art here in the last five months
i saw a picture of a hugo boss magasine, and thought would look cool if it was Cave Johnson instead.
(reference pic and alt versions below the cut)
i want to say i did this for practice, but i honestly just wanted to draw Cave Johnson again
please hire me valve
Cave Johnson: Feast your eyes on my brand-new Neutronium Generator!
Caroline: Sir, that’s a fidget spinner.
Cave Johnson here. Do you ever get sick of hiccups that won’t go away? Do none of the old tricks in the book work to get rid of ‘em? Well, I am pleased to announce that Aperture Science has created a long-awaited true cure for hiccups, via the complete removal of the human diaphragm and/or esophagus.
Make your summer last forever with our new patented Aperture Science Tropical Long-Term Relaxation Vaults! They're so luxurious, even the CEO and his lovely assistant themselves use them (disclaimer: "use" in this context refers to only standing within proximity of the Relaxation Vaults and not activating the device). To book an appointment, contact your local certified Aperture Science Testing Affiliate or Product Handler today.
(reference)
A lot of people like to compare "Aperture Science vs. Black Mesa" but honestly I think they're more similar than different.
Both Aperture Science and Black Mesa messed around with science and new technologies, but for what reason? Honestly I don't think there is or was a reason. Cave Johnson famously said, "Science isn't about why, it's about why not." Wallace Breen abused his power as Earth's Administrator to satiate his own curiosities about what exists beyond human knowledge, and used that to try and coerce Eli Vance to his side.
I think the scientists of Aperture Science and their Black Mesa counterparts literally just did science for the hell of it. They were just secretly simple-minded people needing some sort of stimulus, but the pursuit of that stimulus is disguised as genius and invention.
Meanwhile, as protagonists, Chell and Gordon have to deal with the horrible consequences of the actions of those bored individuals with extreme power.
And isn't that really all of us?
Every time Tragedy + Time by @fuchsiamae updates this is all that pops in my head.
I'm sorry, everyone, I can only think in memes and Cave Johnson, don't talk to me about anything else [joke].
I explained to a friend in detail the dynamic I think Cave and Caroline had, and my friend goes, “I get it, it’s Soft Toxic Platonic Codependency” and I lost it because it was perfect.
Soft because they genuinely care about each other and enjoy their time together
Toxic because they’re both bad people who enable each other’s worst behaviors and never try to improve
Platonic because Caroline likes women and Cave’s only interest is science
Codependency because they actively put the needs of their company over their own wellness (to which end Caroline is ultimately asked to sacrifice more)
Cave "a generally passionate man who loves deeper and harder than most people but cannot express it in healthy ways and refuses to admit he has feelings" Johnson
Wanted to sleep the other night but my brain wouldn’t let me until I doodled Young Cave Johnson with big ol fangs for some reason. Happy spooky season.
“Cave Johnson here. You’ve heard that man’s ultimate weapon is his brain. Well that wasn’t good enough for me. I wanted nature’s natural defense mechanisms back, so I asked the lab boys to give me big teeth like the jungle’s fiercest predator - the fruit bat! I’m pleased to announce the experiment has been a fang-tactic success! Heh. That being said I will no longer be smiling in pictures.”
someone take my computer away
Cave Johnson here. A lot of the lab boys have recently informed me that they're lab girls now. That's great, amazing. Good for you, but don't inform me on company time! Do your work, goddammit!
Oh, and by the way, after you do finish work today make sure to grab your Aperture Science provided Aperture Science Gender Euphoria kit.
No, there's no catch. It's free. No, this revision won't have any harmful or deadly viruses and/or items in it this time.
Now get to work. Cave Johnson out.
It’s obligation that I combine my interest at some point
(Cave Johnson voice)
my parents are worried about my sister making me queer
but since I accidentally introduced my sister to her girlfriend she never made me queer.
I MADE MYSELF QUEER
i know it’s november now but i drew a lil something for halloween……… they r on my mind Always
this isn’t exactly intended to be ship art or anything but you can interpret it however you want