Crazy Shit - Tumblr Posts
DSMP CHARACTER SHIT
so. one of my recent posts was abt the song monster. and i said that the verses reminded me of dsmp characters. so i'm putting the verses all together and showing you what i mean.
Verse One: The Cyclops(Techno) Is the cyclops struck with guilt when he kills? Is he up in the middle of the night? Or does he end my men to avenge his friend And then sleep knowing he has done him right?
Verse Two: The Witch(Niki) When the witch turns men to pigs to protect her nymphs is she going insane? Or did she learn to be colder when she got older And now she saves them the pain?
Verse Three: The God(Dream) When a god comes down and makes a fleet drown Is he scared that he's doing something wrong? Or does he keep us in check so we must respect him And now no one dares to piss him off?
Verse Four: The Soldier(Wilbur) Does a soldier use a wooden horse to kill sleeping Trojans 'cause he is vile? Or does he throw away his remorse and save more lives with guile? Verse Five: The Monster(Tommy) If I became the monster, and threw that guilt away Would that make us stronger? Would it keep our foes at bay? If I became the monster to everyone but us And made sure we got home again Who would care if we're unjust? If I became the Monster Oh, ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves Monster And deep down I know this well I lost my best friend(Tubbo) I lost my mentor(Wilbur), my mom(Kristen) Five hundred men gone(the l'manbulgarian soldiers), this can't go on I must get to see Penelope(Tubbo) and Telemachus(Ranboo_ So if we must sail through dangerous oceans and beaches I'll go where Poseidon(Dream) won't reach us And if I gotta drop another infant(bombs) from a wall In an instant so we all don't die Then I'll become the Monster I will deal the blow And I'll become the Monster Like none they've ever known So what if I'm the Monster Lurking deep below? I must become the Monster And then we'll make it home Monster Penelope(Tubbo) Monster Telemachus(Ranboo) Monster Oh, ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves Monster I'll become the monster
Pokemon Go be like
(In Hawaii) Local: the volcano is gonna erupt Me: - running towards volcano - Local: what are you doing?!? Me: ENTEI IS THERE THATS WHY THE VOLCANO IS ERUPTING
Bees??? Well you can't blame the poor girl for thinking that.
Bees: Bro, I'm just chilling. No need to be afraid.
Child: Mommy, There monsters in my room!
bees?
OMG NOTTE! YOU ARE SO FUNNY!
Incorrect Quotes Featuring my moots @mochadagoober @switchthedragon @nottefierr OCS/Personas
Tempest : Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance? Switch : No. Ezra: No. Tempest : Didn't think so.
Paparazzi: We are not mad. We are just disappointed. Tempest : No, we are mad. Paparazzi: Yes. We are. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide. Tempest : No, we’re not! Paparazzi: I am not a mind reader, Tempest!
Tempest, to Ezra : You say “Please” and “Thank you” in front of Switch all the time, and they never repeat it. Tempest, also to Ezra : But you call Paparazzi “Ass-faced motherfucker” ONE TIME…
Paparazzi: You know what bothers me? Bats. Why can bats fly? Tempest : Not again! Paparazzi: No. Seriously, who gave them the right? They're mammals! Mammals walk on land, no exceptions. Ezra: Just wait until you hear about whales. Paparazzi: What now?
Switch , talking about Tempest : Y’know, you never mentioned an intern. Ezra: That’s because they’re not officially an employee, they’re unpaid. Switch : You don’t pay them?! Ezra: They get college credit. Switch : Are you sure your not evil?
Tempest : Hey, what’s the name of the guy who lives down the hall? Paparazzi: His cats' names are Walter and Rose. Tempest : That's not what I asked. Paparazzi: That is all the information I have.
Paparazzi: I don't dab. I stab.
Tempest : What are the hardest things to say? Switch : I was wrong. Ezra: I need help. Paparazzi: Worcestershire sauce.
Tempest : I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done. Paparazzi: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real. Tempest : They're not. Paparazzi: Haha, very funny. Tempest : I'm serious. Didn't you hear? Paparazzi: No... what happened? Tempest : ...Why would you fall for this again-
Yeaaaahhh
one of the most cheesiest pickup lines i ever heard
hey do u have wifi
cuz i'm rly feelin a connection
Dude just kill me i won't mind just kill me i'm tired of mordern society! I'm 15 and i was just working on a scholl's project then i heard my mother on the phone talking with someone didn't think too much of it but then she started talking about a sex store on the city and i was like "bitch wtf??" So i started listening and it's seems like she is talking with a mother of a friend of hers who's getting married and it was about the bachelorette party of the bride (sorry english is not my first language so i don't know if it is like this you guys say it) but she was telling the the bride's mom about the party to be at a stripper show and dude... Isn't that cheating?? Like i don't know if the husband is going to a stripper but still it's really weird. Do adults do this often on the party before their wedding? They look at me like i'm a monster when i say it's wrong and that's betraying their partners trust! Ain't i right or am i crazy! Am i the asshole? There's more of thos story but i just want to see how my first post goes lol 🥲
look. i'm sorry. really sorry for not just letting this die. but it bugs me. so suffer i guess.
If I saw a canonically trans character and said "well I prefer to write them as cis" people would be pissed at me, for good reason.
If I saw a canonical trans woman/man character and wrote them as a demigirl/boy and said "while the show just says she/he's trans, not that she/he's a trans woman/man" people would be pissed at me, also for good reason.
If a character was directly implied to be trans, and the creator confirmed later that they were meant to be trans, and I went "well it wasn't said explicitly in the show so it's not canon," people would be pissed at me, for good reason.
If the majority of a fandom did those things, we could collectively agree that the fandom is really transphobic.
You can sub this out for any queer identity with mainstream representation, and probably non-queer identities too.
So why is it considered acceptable to do these things to aspec characters?
Why are ships contrary to aspec identities the only ships against a character's canon queer identity that get popular?
Why are aspec people the only ones that get consistent ship discourse over our real identities?
Why are aspec people the only ones asked to sit back and take it?
Why is it on aspec people to not ruin allo people's fun in fandom, but allo people are allowed to ruin ours?
(The answer to all of the above is: aspec identities are viewed by other queer people as functionally straight and are treated as such)
[My Lord- Sukuna x F!Reader]
Summary: Sukuna needs a wife to give him heirs and every women presented to him so far doesn't fit his criteria but then you appear, unlike most people who offered him gold, jewels, and well...women, you did the unthinkable and offered the King of Curses a bowl of berries.
Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy, toxic!sukuna, virgin!Y/N, public sex, humiliation, dumbification, degradation, slight dacryphilia, squirting, fingering, pet names, F/M, vaginal intercourse, cherry popping, mentions of blood, sukuna is lwky misogynistic, and when I mean Sukuna I mean og Sukuna- four arms, four eyes, four mouths kinda deal.
Fandom: Jujustu Kaisen/JJK
Sukuna rested on his throne with a bored expression.
Looking for a wife was rather difficult. Most women were given to him as offerings to protect the village from which they came from. Every women he ended up refusing and just slaughtering the village anyway and eating the residents. Sukuna wasn't really looking for a wife to love and nurture he was looking for a wife that could please him and bear his children. Nothing out the ordinary for those times but still cruel none the less.
Human women were fun to eat and play around with but to actually give one the title of his wife- that disgusted him.
So here he was alone. As usual but he was used to it by now. Sukuna had been craving something for the past few days, he didn't know whether it was human meat or sex. He sometimes got the two mixed up. Either way he needed some offerings and no one was offering him anything for the sole reason that he had already slaughtered all of the villages near him.
"Fuck," Sukuna raised two of his arms in front him and stretched. Then there was the loud echo of his chamber doors opening. "Hmm?" Sukuna raised the brow as you walked inside of his throne room with a simple bowl of red berries, grapes, etc. in hand. It was odd. Could you not see the human skulls and skeletons lying about? You weren't blind were you?
"Speak."
You knelt down in front of his throne and you pushed it forward. "My Lord," You gulped and kept your eyes on the floor. "An offering, I offer the most fresh berries grown in my family's orchard if you spare us." You said and Sukuna sat up a bit more a grin of amusement growing on his face. "Who is this us?" This had to be joke or were you really that stupid? Berries. You really thought the king of curses would be satisfied with berries. "Just my family, my Lord. You have slaughtered all the villages in the area and the next closest thing is my family's estate. I came here on my own accord- as a precaution...my Lord." You added another just to be sure.
Sukuna could tell you were afraid, you were trembling for heavens sake. "A precaution," Sukuna chuckled and leaned forward.
"Stand, woman."
You stood up quickly. Your eyes glued to the floor and you tried your best to keep your composure as Sukuna burst out into laughter. "O-Oh my! I've never met such a human," He caught his breath and leaned back in his throne. "Look at me when I'm talking to you." He ordered and you stared at up at him.
"Have you ever had sex?" He asked flat out and your face grew warm, "No...no my Lord." Sukuna eyes widened slightly. "Really? Has anyone ever asked you to be their wife?" You shook your head and he looked you up and down. "It's rather shocking to me since you gave such a great body for bearing children." He murmured and you gulped, "I've heard that plenty times before...I've been asked to be a mistress though and less of a wife."
"Come," Sukuna patted his knee and you stood up straighter than before. "Come sit."
You looked around and he chuckled. "It's just us," Sukuna gaze grew dark the more he stared at you. "Don't make me repeat myself." He hummed and you made your way onto his knee, gasping at the feeling of one of his hands squeezing your waist. "Now tell me," Sukuna watched as you pressed your thighs together. Had a man never touched you in such a manner at all before? "You wish for me to spare your family and you offer me- the king of curses- the man that slaughters and eats those below him, berries?" Sukuna recalled and you pressed your lips together, "Yes my Lord," You adjusted your spot on his knee and looked up at him. "I've heard you love your wine- those berries make the finest wine in the lands." You blurted out and Sukuna licked his lips. "You have a smart mouth woman."
You couldn't help but smile a bit. "I apologize, my Lord."
Sukuna looked down at the bowl of berries then back at you. You did have a nice body not just for bearing children but in general. A pretty face too. But you had no experience in sex- he didn't have the time to wait for you to figure it out. He needed heirs now. Also you were a human. Sukuna hadn't a clue of what children with a human would end up like. Also he would have to take you as his wife- a lowly human as his wife.
"I will consider your offer," You whimpered as one of Sukuna's fingers slid under your dress and began to stroke your clothed cunt. "Under the conditions that you give me a child. If you get pregnant quick then we'll marry and you will be mine- your purpose only to please me and to bear my children," You fell back against Sukuna's chest and covered your mouth as your panties grew damp. "If you refuse I'll slaughter you and your family without a second thought."
That was fair wasn't it?
"Oh yes what is your name?" Sukuna questioned.
"My name is Y/N."
Sukuna nodded and repeated your name under his breath, trying to figure out if he would call you that or stick with woman.
"M-My Lord," You uncovered your mouth as Sukuna tore off your dress. Your bare breasts were exposed to the cold, dead air of his chambers. He threw the fabric to the floor and slowly slid down your now soaked panties. "I'll do it," You shivered at the feeling of the pads of Sukuna's fingers brush against your dripping cunt. "My Lord I-I've never felt like this before..." You whispered and Sukuna leaned into your ear.
"Just watch."
He stroked your cunt gently, gathering your slick around his fingers before slipping one in between your folds. "H-Hahh! I-I..." You squirmed in his grasp as another finger slide inside of you.
Sukuna stroked your walls grinning at the sight of more of your slick gush out, dirtying his robe. "It feels weird!" You cried out as Sukuna pushed another finger inside. The feeling of his fingers pumping in and out of you made your head spin, wasn't the sex supposed to be after marriage?
"Look at yourself," He watched as you looked down at your pussy coating his fingers with it's slick.
It hurt. It hurt so bad but felt so good.
Was this pleasure?
"M-More! Oh please- please it feels good!" You mumbled and Sukuna brought his thumb to your clit, rubbing harsh circles around the throbbing bud. You eyes went wide and a high pitch squeal left your lip, your toes curling at the feeling. "My stomach- o-oh it feels tingly- m-mmgh! S'good! S'good My Lord!" You moaned and Sukuna brought up one of his hands and began to fondle with your breasts, pinching and squeezing your nipples. "Look at you, such a whore for my fingers. I thought you were a virgin?" He snickered and you stared at your cunt that was easily taking in his fingers with shame.
Was this really you? Babbling for a murderer's mere fingers.
"I don't like it- I don't like the way my stomach feels-" You whimpered and Sukuna brought a hand from your breasts and placed it on your stomach. "It feels like something wants to come out doesn't it?" He hummed while stroking your belly and you nodded with tears brimming your eyes.
"That's good- you gotta let it come out or you won't feel good." Sukuna explained as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of you. You whined and moaned loudly as squirted just a bit on Sukuna's fingers. "Oh," Sukuna laughed and began to fondle with your breasts again. "The little virgin girl is going to squirt only after her first time getting fingered? Go on squirt for me, you whore." He spat.
Tears rolled down your hot cheeks as your legs began to shake. You let out a whine as your juices squirted all out onto the floor and Sukuna's thighs.
You slumped back against Sukuna's chest and caught your breath. "You're a mess," Sukuna slid his fingers out of you and noticed blood coating the tips of his fingers. "Well would ya look at that. Did I pop the virgin's cherry before I even put my cock in?" He teased and you could only whimper in response due the slight soreness from it.
Sukuna used two of his arms to hook your legs up and another one to bring his cock out from his robe. It was rock hard and the bright red tip leaking pre-cum. It really had been a while since he had sex. "That was only to prep you," Sukuna rubbed his cock in between your folds and you cried out at feeling of the bare tip rub your abused clit. "I do need to get you pregnant after all." He grunted as he guided his cock inside you, only for your to sob and squirm with only the tip inside.
"Shhh shhh my pretty little virgin," Sukuna nibbled at your neck and glanced at your tear covered cheeks. Your eyes were red and puffy and your nose was red as well, the sight of you crying because of his cock- crying because of him, made him all the more turned on. "I gotta put it in," You shook your head and arched your back as he lowered you further on his cock.
"I-I can't do it! My Lord s'too big- I'm g-gonna die!" You continued to cry your eyes out and Sukuna already knew your throat would be horse from all of the crying. "You're going to die? Fucking dramatic," Sukuna chuckled.
"Just relax," He rubbed long circles around your clit unlike before and soft mewls left your lips. "Yeah just like that," You sunk further down on his cock, he was stretching you to the brim. You had never felt so full. Your walls squeezed him tight, every vein, the slight curve in his cock, you could feel it all and you didn't know how to react.
"Let me in."
A bulge poked out from your stomach as Sukuna nestled in your velvety walls and brought your knees to your chest. "I want to see you crying- cry for me Y/N." You bit down on your bottom lip as Sukuna slammed you up and down on his cock at much to quick a pace for a virgin. To the point where you could barely think straight, "O-Oh my Lord's big! S'big!"
He had done it.
He fucked you stupid.
"Uh huh what else, ya whore? What else do ya have to say?" Sukuna groaned and you threw your head back against his shoulder and babbled on his cock. "I-It hurts! Mmmm but it's so good!" Your voice cracked in between each cry. "Yeah? Fuck- you're so fucking tight it's killing me." Sukuna grunted. "M'So full- so deep!" You sniffled.
The sound of Sukuna's chamber doors opening echoed through the large throne room once again along with your moans, his grunts, and wet slaps.
"My Lord Sukuna," Your face grew warm and you shook your head as a group of villagers walked over towards the two of you with offerings. "I offer-" A man paused at the sight of Sukuna fucking you with every last ounce of his being. Sweat rolled down Sukuna's forehead causing his pink hair to stick to it. His brows were furrowed together, he looked so concentrated that it was insane.
"What else could you- mmm fuck- offer me?" Sukuna growled and your legs trembled as his fingers pinched your clit. "I have my woman who'll bless me with an heir- I don't need your goddamn offerings," He sunk his teeth into your neck and you finally, through teary eyes, made eye contact with the group standing before you and Sukuna.
Shame and embarrassment filled you even in your fucked out state. "N-No! They're watching! My Lord t-they're watching!" You sobbed and Sukuna's teeth left your flesh only to be replaced with his lips. "I know, I'm not gonna let them touch you, you're mine- don't fucking worry, you're only mine Y/N." He comforted you while continuing to bounce on you his cock like there was no tomorrow, his balls slapping against your ass with each thrust.
"A-Ahh! Don't look- oh my goddd- p-please!" You whined as Sukuna gripped your chin, forcing you to look at the group of men and women before you. "Why're you embarrassed? They can't do anything to you," He kissed your neck and left dark hickey's everywhere. "These are my breasts, these are my thighs, this is my ass," Sukuna grunted and quickened his pace, it was inhumane. "This is my pussy, your mine Y/N- every part of you belongs to fucking me so it doesn't matter what the fuck they see because as long as you're with me you're above them." Sukuna groaned and your eyes rolled back in your head as the tip of his cock brushed against your cervix. "M'gonna come! My stomach it-" You whimpered loudly and Sukuna buried his face in your neck, except for his eyes. He was giving the group of death glare.
"Get the fuck out I'm the only one who gets to see my woman come."
The group rushed out of the chambers, dropping their offerings onto the floor. Sukuna rolled his eyes. He was definitely going to kill them and their villages later.
"Come on, go cum on my cock ya whore," Sukuna thrusted up into you and your legs trembled. Sweat rolled down the curve of your breasts and your slick covered his cock. "Be a good little virgin girl and come." He grunted while drool rolled down your chin as the knot that had been built up in your stomach unraveled.
"Sukuna!"
You screamed his name as you gushed around his cock, squeezing it tight. The little virgin- the little virgin human girl had the audacity to say his name? You said his name? Yeah he was going to fuck you until dawn just for that. "Fuck," He lifted his face from your neck and gave you a sloppy kiss as he tried to reach his high. "I'm gonna fill ya up," You moaned into the kiss. "You're gonna take my seed and give me an heir, right?" Sukuna mumbled and you nodded. "Y-Yes! As many as you want!" You could feel Sukuna's cock twitch and swell inside of you.
"Yeah, fuck, that's a good little virgin."
Sukuna forced himself all the way inside, the only thing that could be seen was the bulge his cock had created in your stomach and his tight balls. He groaned and shot loads of his release into your womb.
You whimpered at the feeling and after a minute of just staying like that and catching your breath Sukuna pulled out. His come dribbled out of your stretched pussy and he gathered it, pushing it back inside your fucked out hole. "You're my woman, understand?" You nodded tiredly and Sukuna traced his thumb over your belly again. It slightly bloated due to how much he had come inside of you. "What's your job as my woman?" He asked you licked your lips. "I-It's," Yep, your voice was horse. "It's to please you and give you and heir." You murmured and Sukuna nodded. "You're a smart little virgin girl." He chuckled and you pouted. "M'Not...M'Not a virgin anymore." You reminded him and Sukuna snickered.
"Yeah that's right, I took your virginity," Sukuna flipped you around so that you both were now facing each other. "But until you learn how to please me to the fullest you're still a virgin in my eyes," Your eyes widened at the feeling of Sukuna's hardened cock rub in between your ass. "You do know that pregnancy isn't guaranteed after just one time? I'm tryna see my woman give me heir so we're going to be here for a while." Sukuna grinned and you watched as he slid his robe off and his large stomach mouth came into view.
You gulped as Sukuna leaned towards you, your breasts pressed firmly against his chest. "I wanna try something and we have all day pretty girl." You traced your hands over his muscles. "Whatever you want Sukuna-" He placed a finger over your lips, "Ah Ah Ah we aren't married so it's still my Lord to you." He brought his finger from your lips and you stared up at him with hooded eyes.
"Of course,"
You wrapped your arms around Sukuna's neck and he straddled your hips in response.
"My Lord."
-[This is one those things you write and never plan on posting until you remember that there will always be someone out there who likes it, this mf has been sitting in my drafts for a good minute]-
So I'm in school and it's hectic because the end of year is coming up. However, I can't function do to physical health problems and the constantly changing schedule. It just doesn't work for me cause I get anxiety due to the lack of structure. Taking breaks is amazing and healthy but I don't got time. So I'm kinda going to be all over the place for a bit.
So I'm in school and it's hectic because the end of year is coming up. However, I can't function do to physical health problems and the constantly changing schedule. It just doesn't work for me cause I get anxiety due to the lack of structure. Taking breaks is amazing and healthy but I don't got time. So I'm kinda going to be all over the place for a bit.
lew skurczybyk odgryzie ci dupe, poderwie żone, zgwałci syna i upije teścia this outlander is up to no good
I have a meme to show y’all since it’s related to my obsession with FC4 but I’m not going to give any context:
Do what you will with this meme and information.