Getting Over - Tumblr Posts

It's your 29th birthday today. I wished I was there to celebrate with you, make new memories with you. But I'm not. Someone else is. You've moved on and have someone new in your life. I no longer occupied your time, space, mind or your heart. Those spaces now have a new occupant, I no longer live there. I've been replaced with someone else. Someone younger, prettier, maybe even better than I was for you. Still hard to accept the reality of it, but it's the truth that I must face and accept.

I'm letting you go, in my mind and my heart. You've been physically gone, but emotionally you were always here with me, although you have already moved on from me. Now I have to emotionally let you go. You've moved on. I need to move on as well.

Happy birthday. I hope your day will be filled with love and happiness. I hope you're happy and at peace. I hope you found what you're looking for in your new home and environment. Should have told you that but I'm telling it to the universe to deliver you the message.

Today will be hard for me but I need to remind myself of my blessing and the good in my life.

Positive thinking, positive energy, positive light, positive me.

Good bye B.

Today is exactly a month since the situation happened. Also happens to be the 9th and a Tuesday as well. No communication from him, still cold silence. What did I expected? Respect, honesty, loyalty, decency between ex lovers and friends? Yes, I expected all of the above. That was my expectations. But I've learned you can imposed your expectations onto others because it always leads to disappointment.

Disappointed with how he chose to handle this situation. To handle our history and past together. He choose her over my feelings and my heart. Speaks volume about him and how he feels about me. There's a say:

How they treat you is how they feel about you. Don't try to decode or make excuses. It's simple. If they act like they don't care, they don't care.

Three plus years of being best friends and lovers gone in a moment. We are no longer friends nor are we enemies. We're just strangers who have memories of each other. This isn't how I wanted us to end. Can't change it. It happened and is happening.

Exactly to the date we broke up you've moved on. Moved on without saying goodbye to me. Just left.

Better to see your true character now than later.

Been reminiscing about our memories for the past two days. Specifically our first trip today to celebrate my birthday. He took me to a nice seafood restaurant that over looked the bay. Walked down the streets holding hands and talking. Had our first kiss later that night. He shared some personal information with me that he had never shared with anyone before. Held him as we both cried.

I will never get to hold his hands again, never get to feel his touches, never get to feel his hugs, never get to feel his lips on me, never get to be intimate with him again. He's moved on and found someone new. He now gets to experience all these things with his new person. I've been replaced with a 20 year. Replaced and forgotten. No longer in his heart or mind.

Hurts, a lot to think that I once dreamt of a future for us. Now that future no longer exist, no longer a reality. It's all in the past now. Sadden for what could have been. Grief for the lost of us and what we could have together. Grief for the lost of my bestfriend, my partner, my lover, my first love.

Acceptance is a hard reality to accept. But it's a reality I have to accept because he had shown me he has moved on. His message was loud and clear for me to see. How cold and mean of him to showed me the way he did.

I can forgive but I'll never forget his treatment of me and what we had together. Such a big FU to what he thought of my feelings and our relationship.