Heart Break - Tumblr Posts

Where Lies Come Home to Roost

Dreams are deceptive, he lays behind me and I twist my head back to ask what this is, but dreams are mealy mouthed spewing whatever I want to hear, and he kisses a tender peck on my lips and says can we just let it be this for right now? Because dreams are the most chameleon of liars, when I wake to an empty bed overflowing with unprocessed emotions.

Dreams are deceptive, while the reality is watching him cross a cold parking lot and knowing that even if he did see me, he's wishing he hadn't.

If You're Gonna be Petty

He got fat by the way.

Helpless Before Thee

Please God, I pray, just bring my lover home safe

Even though home isn't with me

Just please.

Metamorphosis

Tear me from limb to limb through skin and bone

to find yourself and come out renewed on the other side

while I wait for you.

I will wait for you.

Run

Maybe I can beat you out from under my skin like fat tears crying starve myself till my only thought is hunger pangs over shadowing my aching heart tendons

I need to run from your absence.

Wednesday 1339

I dreamed of you last night, I've no idea if it meant anything at all; but for a brief space of firing synapses we were happy.

Today you have not contacted me at all.

In Times of Trouble

I sit beside him waiting my turn for the needles and the ink

our words are casual theater in action the veneer polished to impress

but it's when he tries to kiss me

and kiss me

and kiss me

I wake up realizing I found the steel to tell him no.

Monday 1955

We touch on it from time to time, and I tell you the same always: you've never given me false hope.

Except

you have.

Every time you tell me you're in love with me. Every time you tell me it's fading for her. Every time you tell me about the conflict in your soul, every time you claim me as yours;

hope flickers.

Tuesday 1343

I don't understand what's going wrong or how to fix it I'm losing you and I don't know why

Sunday 0001

To put a name on it, he is a what might have been, and now my childhood friend starts lingering at the edges of my mind, a dangerous habit as I've a tendency to fall for fantasies.

What might have been. I'll always wonder how it could have gone.

Sunday 1120

I dreamed of you last night, dreamed that you were ready to leave her and come to me.

Dear God, my dreams are cruel.

Monday 1332

I do not ever pray for you to leave her, oh no, I am too righteous for that; or superstitious, what have you.

I pray that you are happy. I pray that you find peace.

Most of all I pray that there is a resolution to this mess, sooner please, than later.

Thursday 1301

Every minute ticking by twists the knife a bit deeper.

Anything you can do I can do better, I can do rejection better than you.

WHERE ARE YOU YOU ARE ALL I HAVE

Saturday 1945

I can't breath without you.

Sunday 0726

I dreamed about you last night.

Just like I prayed to.

Tuesday 2208

I would give anything to dream of you tonight.

Friday 1140

I dreamed of you last night, startled arms captured, you leaned in for a kiss

and I was yours.

It's always her for you;

and always you for me.

Wednesday 2100

I woke with the feeling I had yelled at you, warranted or not I felt ashamed.

Tell me; if she weren't in the picture, would we still be?