Go Off King - Tumblr Posts
Gift art for @/onoffoffoff_ on Twitter, commissioned by @nicedemonqueen!!
Did someone say COMPLETE DATA ANALYSIS OF ALL THE DEATHS IN THE LIFE SERIES? No? Well. I did it. Here are some neat graphs for you guys to look at so that you don’t have to deal with the gigantic spreadsheet I did!
Let’s start off with the big bad question: what gets people killed in this game, anyway?
Note that a CAUSE OF DEATH is not the same as a KILL. Cause of death is what pops up in the chat when someone dies (ex. PearlescentMoon was slain by Smallishbeans, BdoubleO100 fell from a high place). The cause of death does not always account for player responsibility (ex. TNT traps). Generally, a player is only considered to be someone’s cause of death if the death occurs through direct PvP combat. HOWEVER, responsibility for an indirect kill such as a trap still goes toward a player’s total kill count—for example, Joel has 14 kills overall, 10 of which are direct enough for him to be considered the actual cause of death. After all, axes don’t kill people without being swung by someone.
A few other whacky things about kill counts:
Self-inflicted deaths do not count toward a player’s kill count (ex. Grian doesn’t get a kill for jumping off Monopoly Mountain at the end of 3rd Life, Scott doesn’t get a kill for blowing himself up at the end of Double Life).
When it comes to Double Life, soulmates are considered to share their three lives. No distinction is made between Soulmate A's life and Soulmate B's life, and each death only counts as one kill (ex. Joel gets one kill for killing Scott with fireworks, even though that also killed Pearl (however, Pearl’s cause of death is still Joel, as her life is considered the same as Scott’s)).
Using the /kill command does not count toward your kill count. Grian.
With that cleared up, let’s look at kill counts.
By the skin of his teeth, Grian leads the pack in total kills. The top three you see on that graph are the only players who have a KDR (kill-to-death ratio) of more than 1—for you folks who are unfamiliar with those, a KDR of more than 1 means you kill other people more often than you die. Less than 1 means you die more often than you kill other people. Here are the highest and lowest KDRs in the series:
“What’s this?” I hear you say. “Jimmy Wet-Paper-Bag-of-a-Man Solidarity DOESN’T have the lowest KDR in the series?”
No. No, he does not, and it’s actually really funny you should ask.
Because of Last Life’s mechanic of life transferring, even players that have been in all three installments of the Life Series don’t have the same death count. Eight players died more than three times in Last Life. Another eight died exactly three times. And one player only died twice.
By virtue of starting on yellow and never receiving any extra lives in Last Life, Jimmy holds the record for fewest deaths in an installment of the Life Series with just two deaths in Last Life. He is the only player to ever die less than three times in a game. This means that although he has just one kill, he has fewer total deaths than BigB (who has died a very standard nine times), the only other player with one kill, so his KDR is higher. Congrats, Jimmy, you’re not last in everything. But you are still the only player without a PvP kill.
Speaking of PvP, it’s time to look at how people do that! Here’s a graph of the top five weapons that tend to land PvP kills the most in the series:
And now here’s weapon preferences by game:
[Double Life not depicted due to lack of PvP deaths—only 4 occurred, using a diamond axe, a diamond sword, fireworks, and an iron axe respectively.]
Despite 19 more deaths occurring in Last Life than 3rd Life, the two actually have the exact same amount of PvP kills (28). It’s interesting to note the strong preference for bows in 3rd Life, which was a much more warlike game and had several fairly formal battles where people fought from a distance. Last Life required an overall sneakier strategy, resulting in a higher use of traps. In combat, non-ranged weapons like swords and axes were generally preferred due to fights often starting in close proximity and without warning, courtesy of the Boogeyman curse. Comparatively, Double Life saw remarkably few PvP kills, likely due to each person being twice as accident-prone by virtue of being linked to another player—in fact, with a total of 12, accidents accounted for three times as many deaths as PvP in Double Life and overall for more than half (57%) of the deaths in the game.
As for individual player stats sheets, here’s an example of one of those:
If you want to see one of those for ALL 17 PLAYERS, you can go to this slideshow! More details about the stats can be found in the presentation notes of each slide. And, if you have a really specific question and want to get into the nitty gritty, feel free to send me an ask! Hope you guys enjoyed the data!
not edwin realising his suppressed homosexuality and super intense feelings for his best friend of 30 years because a cat flirted with him and then a crow kissed him
I get a lot of people in my inbox thanking me for being horny for fat and/or hairy guys and it genuinely baffles me. like, and I mean this so genuinely from the bottom of my heart, I don't understand what's not to love. I know society is cruel to fat men and hairy men and especially fat hairy men, but like. society shouldn't control what you like and I don't think I've ever been in a situation where I thought "I can't let them know I like that".
I guess there's always a societal pressure to fit in but it's 2024 we should all be beyond that and loving who we love regardless of what other people think or say. like people are all "tee hee love is love! Love wins! Diversity!" but somehow being fat just isn't included in that and it's. so weird.
I recently had a conversation with a straight coworker who wanted me to watch some show about gay couples because it had a lot of "hot guys" in it but it was just. athletic-built men and that's so boring, so when I told her it was not my type and I liked bigger guys, it was like I committed murder in front of the lord himself. it feels so. hypocritical to say "Love is love, love whoever you want" but we pull the reigns when it's a fat guy and not even fat fat, like chubby is too much for some people.
and I think chubby has become more passable, but the definition of chubby now is like a guy whose abs aren't visible 24/7 and that's. like. not it lol. like if he don't jiggle when he giggle i don't think that's chub.
anyway im rambling and i just think fat men and hairy men and fat hairy men are hot and people need to admit it more than just saying things to fit in and be "normal" because it alienates a large portion of people in the world, and not just men, all to fit in with a social norm that couldn't care if you died. love what you love and be loud about it.
STACKEDNATURAL ⇉ 129.5/327 (part 2)
7.10 Death’s Door Written by Sera Gamble Directed by Robert Singer Original Air Date: December 2, 2011
Mr. Ben Chew serving the truth like the King he is!
The next two members of the CHASING AFFIRMATIVE AU, Sig and Suns !!
NO SIGNIFICANT HARASSMENT (he/they) — the jokester of the agency’s friend group. They are sharp and clever, but hold a gentler side especially for those he cares about. Sig is the medic of the agency, and a close friend of both Looks to the Moon and Seven Red Suns.
SEVEN RED SUNS (they/them) — the mentor of Five Pebbles and a close friend of Grey Wind and Sliver of Straw before her disappearance. They are quiet and thoughtful in nature. Suns is the trainer of the group, and takes to mentoring new agency recruits.
Currently working on the designs for Winds, Innocence, and Sliver, stay tuned :]
[Moon and Pebbles] [Sig and Suns]
i need to become a kickass animator so that i can draw hos witness aggressively schlorping and crawling after the guardian like no face from spirited away
CRYING SCREAMING THROWING UP
THE BLADE TRAILER
THE MUSIC???
THE EDITING???
THE LAUGH???????
I'm dead omg
we all see this, right?
can somebody tell this DIVA to go PUT SOME CLOTHES ON 😭😭😭 (hes in a robe in the second picture)
i WILL defend Kiriona being a total ass to everyone in NtN because Gideon spent her entire life just watching those damned skeletons and wishing that the bones would show her any kind of acknowledgement. and then Gideon went to Canaan House and she made her first friends ever, the first people ever to show her the kind of love and tenderness that she had needed her whole miserable life, and then she died.
and when Gideon came back, practically the first thing she learned is that her mother, who she had spent her whole life dreaming about, hated her. like, suprise!!! you weren’t just despised & hated after birth, but also before and during!! her mother thought of her as a parasite and a bomb. just a key to a lock that Gideon had never given a shit about.
and THEN!!! Gideon gets swept off in the River and she comes back as a corpse and the first time she sees her friends again, the first friends she ever had, all they can talk about is using her body – not even her as a person, just her meat and blood – for the same end as her mother wanted. just a key for the lock on that same damn door. like, yeah, Cam & Pal & crew thought she was gone and they wouldnt have any way to know that her soul was there. but also, their first words in her earshot were about using her and the first thing they did to her was try and violate her corpse. so basically. Kiriona deserves to have her villian era.
imma need ALL of my bias wreckers to stop. like. no. i have my happy little ray of sunshine bias over here doing his thing, then y’all come in and i’m like. oh no ma’am. like. this has to stop🛑😂 IM TRYIN TO BE A LOYAL GIRL TO MY BIAS AND YALL ARE MAKING ME AN UNLOYAL HOE LIKE NAH FAM! LEMME BE LOYAL TO MY MANS😤😭
anyways, just a little thing that needed to be put into words. on tumblr😪. it’s fine🙃 love ya♥️💞
Ok, i love chop top with long hair.
theological analysis of montero music video by lil nas x that no one asked for
The first scene is in The Garden of Eden. All Abrahamic religions have some variation of the same creation story, and they all condemn homosexuality. In the first shot, Nas is presumably representing Adam, sitting under the tree. The serpent is the Devil. The devil in the form of a serpent is often symbolic of temptation and corruption. The Devil came to Eve in the form of a serpent to plant the suggestion of eating the forbidden fruit.
Nas is initially startled by the serpent, afraid of giving in to temptation and corruption because of what God said, but he eventually gives in after he’s told he “lives in the dark” and “he can if Eve ain’t in his Garden” by the serpent. Making homosexuality, not the consumption of the forbidden fruit the original sin. It is noteworthy that the forbidden fruit was from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, shedding more light on the line “ you live the dark , I cannot pretend.”
The camera the cuts to Plato quote summarising his take on soulmates. As Plato puts it: “According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”
This myth is, not surprisingly ( since Plato was a Greek philosopher) not unwelcoming to queer people. This “other half” could be any gender.
The next shot is Nas on Earth, the set is deliberately reminiscent of Ancient Greco-Roman empires. Nas even wore sleeveless t shirt that looks a modern take on a roman soldiers armour to his Genius interview. He is stoned to death by the aristocrats. Ironically enough the Roman empire’s persecution of Christians' and acceptance of homosexuality among upper class citizens is almost as infamous as the present day Christian persecution of queer people. Nas wears a pink fur outfit here, whereas the aristocrats wear blue with eye makeup that makes their eyes appear icy cold , supposedly representing the strict binary gender roles in mainstream culture. Nas is smiling, defiant until his dying breath.
The newly martyred Nas floats to Heaven, an iridescent glow encasing him. A rainbow, if you will. Mankind’s suffering on Earth is said to be purification in the from of punishment from the original sin, after which we are free to go to Heaven, but Nas CHOOSES not be cleansed from his sin. He turns back on Heaven ,on his own terms.
Nas takes inspiration from FKA twigs’ Cellophane music video and uses strip tease as a visual metaphor, the pole being the intermediary between two spiritual realms. Even though the medium of storytelling is same , the stories Nas and twigs tell, are different.
The pole paired with Nas’s boots and Satan’s outfit might be a homage to bdsm and leather in underground gay cultures. He is finally reunited with his lover from the beginning of time. This reunion, along with the outfits, is a nod to the sexual. emotional and intellectual freedom he gained by denouncing Heaven.
If I’m being honest I have no idea what the killing Satan and taking over Hell meant, but it was iconic.
Fans: It's insane how Guillermo didn't AVENGE Marwa and KILL Nandor on the spot, he should be SO ANGRY
Guillermo, who invited his only human friend to a vampire orgy, lured innocent people to the house to be killed or locked in the basement, chopped up dead bodies for over 10 years, watched the vampires hypnotize a guy to death and kill a local celebrity right in front of him, and never actually saved a single victim from his vampires ever:
