Greek Mythos - Tumblr Posts

My Hermes design makes it’s return..

He’s a tad bit silly

bonus:

It really is hilarious at times just how much damn ho yay and gay antics happen in the Greek mythos, and some history-ignoring people try so hard to make it seem otherwise. XD

Also, I love those versions of Apollo and Helios! (Apollo’s always been a blond in my mind’s eye, lol.) Helios is srsly so done with this mortal shit, tho. But can you blame him? His sisters both went for mortal guys, with varying results. XD

why do so many “icarus and the sun” artworks and stories portray the sun as a woman? do y’all know who controlled the sun? apollo. icarus is gay as fuck, y’all.

that fake uncited article that claimed odysseus was said to have hetrochromia in antiquity (he was not) led me down a rabbit hole of attempting to find any source on odysseus' eye color at all, only to discover there is none, which i find utterly hilarious given the repeated descriptions of his physical appearance. homer said "don't ask me the color of nothing he has MASSIVE TITS and THUNDER THIGHS. ive never looked him in the eyes in my life"

omg the magnus archives mentioned greek mythology this is a crossover trust (im delusional) ((the episode is 24 strange music))

apollo honey you can't manwhore your way out of more trauma

The Creation of Humanity

(the creation of humans, the Day of Fire, Prometheus' punishment)

The Gods were bored and needed something to do, something to provide them with entertainment. So Zeus set the Gods to work - having them each mold the creatures to populate the Earth with. They quickly busied themselves with their jobs, and soon all of the Earth's creatures were formed.

Next the creatures needed abilities - something to set them apart from others and give them a fighting chance of survival, after all, it wouldn't be very entertaining if they all died of within a couple hundred years. For this job, Prometheus was chosen. Prometheus is the Titan God of forethought, making him very suited for the job of ensuring species' survival. However, Prometheus' brother, Epimetheus (Titan God of afterthought), wanted a chance to prove himself and asked to do Prometheus' job, promising that he would let him inspect his work before they presented it to the rest of the Gods.

Prometheus begrudgingly agreed and Epimetheus began his work, taking great care with the abilities he gives to the creatures. Once he had finished his job he proudly showed his handiwork to his brother. Prometheus was pleasantly surprised, until he noticed a neglected figure that hadn't been given any abilities. He turned to his brother, asking him about the creature. Distraught at his mistake, Epimetheus admitted that he didn't have any abilities left to give to the creature - the 'human being'. There was no time to make amends and the creatures were presented to the rest of the Gods, who - delighted with their creations - populated the Earth with the various species.

It was immediately clear that humanity would not survive very long, their lack of abilities put their species at a huge disadvantage. Despite them being doomed to extinction, Prometheus felt a strong affinity towards human beings and realised that they needed a unique ability to survive as a species. And so he gave them one.

It came down like a lightning bolt, and suddenly the previously helpless humans were gifted Promethean intelligence.

Their newfound intelligence allowed humans to develop speech and spread survival techniques amongst themselves. The rest of the Gods naturally assumed that intelligence was humanity's ability. The Gods realised that due to their intelligence, human beings could fear the future.

And of course, the Gods were doing this for entertainment, so they made it so humans had to offer sacrifices to the Gods and ask them for the future to turn out the way they wanted. In order to give sacrifices they needed to have fire. Prometheus realised this quickly and convinced Zeus to allow humans to have fire in exchange for a portion of the human's sacrifices. Zeus declared that 'this is the Day of Fire,' adding that 'What is done today is final.'

Prometheus is given the task of separating the portions of the sacrifice for the Gods to decide which sections would be offered to the Gods. Prometheus wraps all of the best bits of meat in the cow's stomach, giving it the appearance of haggis. Next he covered the skeleton with fat and put the hide back on it. Zeus picks the skeleton.

When he realised he had been tricked Zeus was enraged. As punishment for Prometheus' deception, he took the fire away from the humans, wanting Prometheus to have to watch the humans he loves so dearly die out. Prometheus still wanted to help humanity to survive, so he broke into Hephaestus' workshop in a last ditch effort. He stole fire from the workshop, hiding it in the stalk of a fennel plant. Once he gave human beings fire, they celebrated and danced all night, overjoyed at the gift of fire. No matter what the Gods wanted to do, what was done that day was final.

Safe to say, Zeus is pissed. Prometheus is bound with chains forged by Hephaestus. He's dragged down from Mount Olympus and the chains binding him are driven into a rock. Everyday an eagle ate his liver. Overnight his liver regenerated and his body healed only for the eagle to come back again the next day.

And so he was stuck in his cruel punishment until 30,000 years later when Heracles is tasked with killing the eagle that has been tormenting Prometheus. He succeeds and Prometheus is left bound and naked, but at least the worst part of his punishment was over.

Years later, Prometheus negotiated with Zeus, offering him information on his and Thetis' future son in exchange for his freedom. At Mount Olympus Prometheus is made to wear a garland around his head, as a constant reminder of his chains.

His job was done - humanity was well and truly alive.

So im re-reading Greek Mythology, and I realised that Hades is a precious bean and all goddesses are more terrifying than every god put together.

Let me explain

1) The goddesses are the ones who do most of the cursing. No seriously, check. Goddesses are kinda petty

2) Hades names his dog a fancy word for Spot

3) Persephone once crushed a woman into a plant for saying that Hades loved her more. Thats why we have mint.

4) Hades is mythologically the most faithful one. He almost cheated a couple of times, but felt really bad and couldn’t do it

5) Aphrodite once flayed a woman alive because people thought she was prettier.

6) Hades kidnapped Persephone because Zues told him to. He literally has zero social or romantic skills, and fingers that big brother Zues, who’s courted hundreds of women would know a thing or two about wooing. Zues told Hades to kidnap Persephone.

7) Hades went to great lengths to make Persephone happy in the underworld. He even created a garden make of jewls for her. But when he realized she wasn’t pleased, he willingly let her go.

8) Artemis help deliver her brother

9) Hestia ate virgins who broke their vows

10) Zues is such a sleezbag, he blamed Aphrodite for all his affairs (with her being the goddess of love and lust and such). She and Hera did not take it well

11) Athena was born in full body armor.

12 ) Demeter tried to kill Zues for allowing Hades to take their daughter.

13) Demeter has a bleeding heart, but also murderd an entire army for trying to cut down a sacred tree grove

14) Hades my be intimidating with his helmet of terror, but Persephone had a man tourterd for all eternity for not taking no for an answer.

15 ) Artemis turned a peeping-tom into deer and lets him get eaten by his own dogs

16 ) Hades is the king of the underworld because he got the short straw.

17) Amphotrite is sometimes described as the sea herself. She’s drowed countless people.

18) Persephone is a proud queen of hell who has no problem with her job

has this been done

(inspired by this post)