Humans In Space - Tumblr Posts

hey all you guys constantly shitting on the humans are weird/humans are space orcs/humans are space oddities/humans fuck yeah posts can you find your fucking chill???? we’ve been living our entire lives surrounded by science fiction insisting all alien life is either vastly superior to us, vastly superior and wants to kill us, or entirely unintelligent. we’ve been told we’re nothing special, and these “stupid annoying chain posts” push us into an age where we could be equal or better in any capacity, where we start to realize the life out there could be anything, on any level of intelligence anything is possible, so let us have this

Humans are space orcs

What if humans were the only species to make hand to hand combat styles? Like all the other species fight according to their adaptions like claws or poison or every laser beams from their eyes. But humans are like, we’ve got no evolutionary weapons (except teeth and they aren’t really practical) so let’s learn how to move in such a way that we can actually debilitate another creature. And aliens are totally underestimating us because we have no evolutionary defenses and then someone just whips out some ju jit su or karate or even just parkour up a wall and the aliens are like, ‘What the hell just happened?” 

Humans are unstoppable...Until they aren’t.

I’m not the most eloquent writer, but I’ve had this idea kicking around for a while and figured I’d put it out into the universe.

A lot of the basis for the “humans are space orcs” stuff is the idea that we’re pretty durable compared to many species, yeah? When it comes to physical trauma, we can bounce back from most things that don’t kill us outright, especially given the benefit of hypothetical space-age technology, and adrenaline is one heck of a drug when it comes to functioning under stress. 

But that doesn’t make us unkillable, and even though we can survive debilitating injuries and not die from shock, it doesn’t mean it’s fun. Dying of shock sucks, but at least it’s probably quick.

So - Imagine a ship, adrift in space, slowly being drawn into a star or something. In order to save the ship, someone has to repair the hyper-quantum-relay-majig on the hull or in the engine or whatever. Bit of a problem though- there’s a ton of deadly, deadly radiation (Wrath of Khan style) or poisonous fumes or, I dunno, electrical current, between the crew and the repair. Like, enough to kill most species instantly, so the crew is just like, ‘welp, guess we’ll die then’. But then.

BUT THEN

They ask the human. Because everyone’s heard the stories - you’re basically unkillable, right? Could you survive long enough in there to fix it? And their human goes real quiet for a second, but still says ‘Yeah, I could fix it’. And the rest of the crew is like, ‘Whaaaaaa, it won’t kill you?’ and the human repeats “I can fix it” (which isn’t an answer, but no one catches that, not yet at least), so they send ‘em in. And the human fixes it, they come back, the ship flies to safety, and the crew is thrilled to survive. If the human is a little quiet, well, they’re entitled after pulling off a miracle. Everyone else is just excited to get to the nearest station’s bar to tell their very own human story, cuz, ‘those crazy humans, amiright?’.

The good mood keeps up until the human is late for their next shift. At first it’s just faint unease, but- but they earned a bit of a lie-in, right? No reason to begrudge them some extra rest, even if it is a little weird for them to oversleep. They’ll be fine. Humans are always fine. 

(Right?)

(…Wrong.)

- What is… help. Help!-

- ake up! You have t-

- been days. You need sleep, you-

- nother transfusion. We could-

- out of sedatives!-

A week later, the crew finally reaches the station. They stumble into the bar, haggard and haunted. And over the next months and years a new rumor about humans starts to make its way through space. A rumor unlike any before.

‘Be careful with your humans’ it whispers. ‘Their strength is not always a blessing. Be sure they don’t do something they can’t come back from, because when a human dies… they die slowly.’

Another Humans Are Weird Thing:

What if there was a race of extremely dangerous and powerful aliens, and a crew sent out their human ally to negotiate a statement of neutrality, that kind of thing. But, 

They bring their dog with them. 

In one of those cute little pet life jackets modified to be an air tank bc of the planet’s toxic atmosphere. 

And when said human meets the leader, xe’s like “*Gasp* you have one too!” 

“A what?”

Xe points to the space doggo. “A pet!”

“Oh yeah, I’ve had Daisy for forever. Are you saying you have pets here too?”

“We do! Want to see them?”

“Sure!”

And the two of them, (accompanied by guards to protect the leader, of course) walk down into the ship to an ominous hallway. After they walk through it, the leader opens a door to a hallway filled with chained, moaning prisoners of war from multiple conquered planets. Xe gestures to them happily. “Pets! :D”

The human then has to explain the difference between a pet and a war prisoner.

Humans as a species are fundamentally coded to find companionship, form groups, to come together in packs as a way of safety.

As they evolved, however, they met one another, they clashed, and they fought. They found the worst in companionship and found the best in it too.

They shared information, communicated, and spoke. They built towers taller than the clouds and climbed the tallest mountains. They dug into the heart of their earth, filled only with curiosity and the prospect of finding new information about their home's past. They went past where any animal in their world had been, pushed past the limits of evolving featherless, and looked to the stars.

They soon found themselves racing against one another, to push past the limits of their home, a place they'd conquered and charted many years before. They entered Orbit, then set foot on their moon.

Then it was silent.

They'd assumed they had broken all possible goals, they couldn't reach farther than the moon in any visible future.

And the humans went about their lives, still thinking, of course, but forgetting what lied beyond their clouds and silly moon.

They developed their technology, made television that could easily be mistaken for live images, broke the speed of sound, dove into the farthest depths of the ocean, and they did all this, with the help of their creations.

Humans, as a species were made to find companionship.

They found that in these lifeless clumps of wires and servos. They found this.. love and empathy for something that was little more than an empty husk with no soul.

They programmed their creations' first words to be, "Hello, World."

They gave them hearts, empathy, love. They taught them what it meant to be human, to experience boundless curiosity, and to feel the desire to find the answers to their universe.

Robots as a species were made to find companionship.

The humans knew they might not last long. They made time capsules and sent them into the boundless depths of space. They sent satellites to follow after the capsules, then Rovers after the satellites, then nothing.

Their creations were able to find that companionship their species longed for, from within the stars. The robots cheered, celebrated and quickly lead these new companions back to their homeworld, to show what their creators had been able to accomplish in such a long time.

Robots were made to find companionship, yes.

But humans? Humans were meant to destroy themselves.