I Am Not Human - Tumblr Posts

Some days I have not any spoons at all. Not one spoon. But then I see the Tremendous Pile of Shit I must do and i manipulate myself, I think so hard that spoons appear. Brittle and inconsistent but hey it's a spoon so I take advantage of that even though it's not a real spoon it's a figment-of-my-imagination spoon. Invented by my hyper weirdo brain. Some days it's easier to imagine my spoons. Or maybe I do have spoons and maybe I don't understand the analogy. Maybe I do have spoons and I can't see them. Or maybe I'm telling myself that to convince myself I have spoons.

I don't know, the spoon analogy got me thinking in depth like. Socrates shit

This. I am also both trans [under the umbrella, specifically under the nonbinary umbrella, lol] and alterhuman/nonhuman (I use both terms, as well as some others) and my gender and species dysphoria a lot of the time go together.

Also, my friend who is trans also sees how similar it is at times for gender and species dysphoria because I talk to him about my species (and gender but that's not the point here) dysphoria. [I hope this part makes any sense, lol].

Both my gender and species dysphoria fucking suck, I get a similar feeling from both. One [in my case] just feels a little bit worse. Cause to me, it almost feels like I'll always be seen as just a human even more than always being seen as the gender I am not. I am not a human, Idc what this body is, I am not my body. I am not my body in the way of gender as well, but I feel like more people respect that (not trying to undermine anyone's experience, hell I deal with transphobia all the time even if the people who are don't know I am trans). People seem to understand it more. It's something that makes more sense to them.

I really hope that this makes sense, lol.

I think the whole "therianthropy is a mockery of transness" lie did a LOT of damage to our community. We're afraid to draw parallels that are actually quite helpful.

"Trans" is an adjective that can 8e appended to words like woman, man, or person to add extra context. This is how I 8elieve alterhuman la8els should 8e used: "fictionkind Vriska" shares a little more context around my experience than just "Vriska", and "therian spider" shares a little more context around my experience than just "a spider." However, I don't really ever see people just saying "spider" or "Vriska," or any counterparts. You get the gist. There have 8een a lot of posts around this topic recently (most from me of course LOL) 8ut that's not it.

I also feel like this has made us afraid to discuss species dysphoria as anything 8eyond "I have this 8tw." Like, no? This isn't just a sad feeling that pops up occasionally. It is deha8ilit8ing. I am as much as a suicide risk as any trans person with gender dysphoria. This portrayal of species dysphoria has normalized invalid8ion IMO. Misgendering is never okay, 8ut... The alterhuman equivalent? It's fine! No hard feelings there. (Don't get transmedicalist a8out this, I'll 8ite you.)

I. Can't think of any more actually! So please re8log with any examples you have, I'd love to hear.

Random little thing, I have now [by that I mean for a little bit] been kinsidering ANOTHER MHA OCkin/noncanon character. This is fun, totally [slightly sarcastic].

But seriously, why did this have to happen?

I don't know much, lol. This basically came from me realizing that I sometimes [a lot actually] feel like I have/had a different quirk (power) and shit than I do/did as Zuki.

Help. Idk what's going on. I'll probably update on this situation when I know more about this kintype/possible kintype [it feels so weird to call it that, it's me, it's myself].

The fact that because of the nature [is that the right word?] of the/my quirk (power), I questioned two other OCs/non canon characters that I remember from being Zuki and neither fit properly. Also, I'm not sure if it's/I'm from the same AU as Zuki.

[This feels weird to explain and probably isn't even understandable by anyone but myself, lol].

I have no idea what my name even is/was, lol. Has anyone else ever experienced this, or is it just me? Lol.

Just realized maybe this is another Zuki kintype, like from a different AU but still Zuki [though that doesn't seem quite right, idk].

(Messing around with strikeouts, hopefully this doesn't make it too hard to read for others, sorry if it does).

:3c

<3

What's an OCkin?

Hello! Thanks for the ask!

So, an OCkin is a type of fictionkin [someone who identifies partly or fully as a fictional character] for OCs, which are original characters.

For me, I have only OCkin types when it comes to fictionkin types. My blog is based around one of said kin types (I kinda hate saying it like this, but it's the "correct" way of saying it and makes it easier to understand), Zuki, who is a My Hero Academia OC that I made before realizing that I am Zuki.

In my case, this identity [and most of my other alterhuman/nonhuman identities] comes from a past life. Not everyone's does, though, and no matter what someone's identity comes from, it's valid [whether their identity is psychological, spiritual, physical, or if there's any other types they are valid].

This has kind of gone on a slightly similar but also different tangent, lol. If anyone else has anything to add to my post here, feel free! Also, I hope this makes sense to you!

- Zuki Shay Lupo [They/xe] :3c

I'm bored, it's around 1:45 am (this time has changed a lot since I first started writing this, lol) where I am rn. Let's talk about my questioning OCkin type that I mentioned before [on like August 18th]. I don't know too much more than I did then (though it's been less than a month, soooo yeah). I just realized I never actually explained my quirk/power then, lol.

So, my quirk with this kintype was like a werecreature/animal shifting quirk. I could change into certain animals (canines, felines, and some birds [crows, ravens, birds in that family (is that the right word?)] and I could turn into a werecreature type being. That last part was more prominent (stronger and easier to change into) around full moons [typical for werecreatures in most things, lol]. My werecreature form was more canine like, especially wolf and dog like, though sometimes I was more feline like (idk why it would change, but it did).

When not in either form from my quirk, I looked human-like [I say it this way cause I am not human now and wasn't human then] but I had my ears and tail, which were both a mixture between canine and feline like, my tail was especially canine like and my ears were more of a "half and half" mix, lol. I am unsure if I had wings physically, if I didn't then I had phantom wings, which does seem kinda right cause I'm pretty sure I was trying to see if there was anything that could be made or done to actually give me my wings.

I don't know if it's my actual name from this kintype but I have been using Okami to refer to this kin, so add that to my list of names, lol (I genuinely have a list of 'preferred names')

-Zuki Shay Lupo or Okami! (They/ze) :3c

[Xe and ze are pretty equal for preferred pronouns rn, lol]

Made some pins/buttons at my college's "Maker Space" as they call it, lol.

Ignore how bad they look, I had to draw the designs by paw, lol [I am refusing to say hand].

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/he/hx) :3c

{He/him and hx/hxm pronouns are equal to which I prefer, lol}

[I also almost put my actual preferred name instead of Zuki, lol]