Inside Thoughts - Tumblr Posts
goddamn i just want namjoon to stuff me like a frickin thanksgiving turkey
Isn't it ridiculous how when you get a body part surgically removed they don't let you keep it?
I'm planning on getting an orchiectomy and I don't want to preserve them or anything like that, they've brought me nothing worth celebrating.
I'm also the cook for my house. Sooooo.....
What if I thinly sliced and sauted my own testicles? How would they taste? What seasonings would be best to use?
Waiting for the eclipse
Sometimes I'm okay alone.
Some days pass easier than others, some nights I stayyy up, cashing in my bad luck.
Ahem.
Anyways, point aside.
Some days I'm all engines firing, revving and itching to punch the ignition.
Yeah, there is the constant search for self-improvement and focus on self and self-love; Kim Namjoon didnt tell me to love myself for nothin'. It's easily one of the few bits of advice from a man I will forever recall and cling to.
But it's those days that I'm just spent, and gods only know I have alot of those between the laundry list of ailments where I want a shoulder to lean on, I swear I'm not touch starved (I very much am, dont listen to this fool)- I just have a very short list of people who I like touching me. A blessing and a curse, really.
And don't tell me to be strong; or that I underestimate my strength.
8 billion people in the world and somewhere out there is a guy looking for me. Gods know I'm screwed with my neurodivergent and asocial/introverted ass; it'll likely hit me when I least expect it.
But I hate that.
This'll be me, logging my thoughts. Waiting for the sun and moon to align, because theres no way I won't call him sunshine.
And if he calls me moonchild or some variation of the lunar body, I will fold like a paper crane.
isnt it great? three years without any reason, nor apology. you disappeared off. you did this to so many of us. those you've hurt you'll never be able to run from, no matter how hard you try.
put me back on sleep meds 😧